It's been awhile since I made a visit to my beloved mistress... I'm so fat these days that I limit myself to visit Popeyes only once a month. Well, that's what I tell myself because I can barely get up and fit in my car on a daily basis. But now, Popeyes has once again given me a reason to get off my medical grade visco elastic memory foam mattress for the rotund class with their newest promo product, the Ghost Pepper Wings. Their commercials looked promising and dericious... And after watching it for the 4th time, I already had one foot off the bed with a sock half on. That may not sound like much to the average person with a normal BMI, but for the pouch that's like Neil Armstrong... One small step for portly men, one giant leap for pouchkind.
I threw on a moo-moo and oozed myself into the car and proceeded to the nearest drive thru. My lips were chapped from this cold weather and I needed an application of grease on my cheekan lips, STAT. I don't know how many times I licked my lips from them being chapped or just thinking about these wings while I waited and waited in the drive thru line. I shoulda just went inside, instead... But I was afraid of breaking down another door in my haste and excitement, it was so embarrassing that last time. I finally inched my way to the window and was handed a bag of piping hot wings, the bag was so hot it was steaming when it hit the cold air from the window to my car. I hope these are as good as they smell... I drove home as quick as I could to dive right in... The suspense was killing me... Like the corns on my feet from laying in bed for an extended period of time. Finally, rolled myself into the house and ripped the bag open like an entitled snot nosed kid on Christmas morning in total exhilaration for my prize...
The official box made it look legit... Time to open the prize.
We happy? Vincent?! We happy? Yeah, we happy... Look at that spread, it looks more valuable than Bitcoin. That is pure cheekan gold. They give you 6 pieces of drums and flats and a biscuit. I was wheezing from the steaming wings with a spicy aroma that's unique to the ghost peppers. Picked one up and the flaky texturous crust had an ultra crunchy feel. Took a bite, yep, it was super crispy and crunchy like all their signature cheekan and the meat was juicy and tender... But one thing was missing... The heat of the ghost pepper. While the wings had hints of bright red spots on them, they lacked the heat like with anything that has come into contact with ghost peppers. They were not ghost pepper spicy at all, but they should make these as their everyday standard spicy level chicken. The wings themselves were good but I would not get them again since their regular cheekan is still the best. But these wings did the trick to lube my fried chicken lips back to normal pH levels and lubed my fat ass with more cushion for the pushin'... Bless my toilet's heart.
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