First Watch

This Florida based breakfast/brunch/lunch (BBL) chain has been spreading their eggs across the nation faster than Lindsay Lohan's legs across Hollywood... This franchise might be even sluttier than that redheaded slut but I love me some egg sluts... No, not the ones in L.A., but the ones in my piehole. This breakfast chain has six locations all OTP and now they have one ITP, right in the middle of the new and shiny Decatur Crossing development... This Fuqua project has done wonders to revitalize this run down area of Decatur with new life, energy and rise in property values, even though they pushed out my after Victory bike night snack spot, Church's Cheekan. It's ok, their cheekan wasn't that good anyways but when the pouch is craving a quick cheap cheekan snack, that shit will do... And then I would usually end up crying myself to sleep afterwards for the sin I have committed against Popeyes.
So, I have never ate at this new BBL spot because who the fuck would drive all the way to upstate Atlanta for breakfast grub when you got Home Grown, Folk Art and Waffle House within a few minutes' drive... This place kinda reminds me of Tupelo Honey, they are in the same competitive league vying for that disposable income from the millennial and family crowd. But in this area, it was all gray and blue hairs... Well, at least during my visit. Bless their early bird hearts... Wait, I was eating at the same time they were... Holy shit, my pathetic loser status is now complete. The pouch was eating solo along side with the geri's. But that's ok, I usually buy my friends... I pick them out from the menu and I put them all together in my happy place. Jesus, I sound so pitiful... And lonely. Makes me wanna get Life Alert just to have someone to talk to. Let's take a look who will become a friend or a frenemy on this menu...

Tumeric Lemon Aid (lemon, turmeric, ginger) and Morning Meditation (orange, lemon, turmeric, ginger, agave nectar, beet). Jesus, I swore, the Kool-Aid man will be skating through a wall in the next few minzies... Look at the color of these refreshing beverages, so vibrant and so fake looking. How much HFCS is packed in these "fresh juices"... Took a sip... Damn, they were pretty tasty and packed with flavor even though they looked so processed and manufactured. I'm ok with these pricey breakfast elixirs...

Biscuits & Turkey Sausage Gravy. You can't be a southern breakfast joint if you ain't got a decent B&G... That's like having no rice on the menu at a Chino joint. The turkey sausage gravy seemed like such a cop out to appeal to the millennials and non-porkers. But you need the piggy fat in there for a proper gravy. So, how did this specimen turn out? Not too shabby, The generous amount of turkey sausage gravy was nice but the gravy itself was just acceptable and the biscuit was pretty decent. It's not a bad snack if you want to be healthier but c'mon, look at this thing, there's nothing healthy about it... Just stick with the damn pork sausage for that proper flavor and fat content. 

Millionaire's Bacon, brown sugar, black pepper, cayenne, maple syrup drizzle. This is what I'm talking about, Willis... Four crackling strips of smoked bacon drizzled with syrup. Did it taste like a million dollars? Fuck no, it tasted pretty good but it was kinda overpriced at $4.99.

Croque Madame, ham, tomato, Gruyere, dijonaise, artisan brioche, bechamel, sunnyside up eggs. This thing was huge but obviously, it was mostly bread at first glance. The sunnyside up eggs were spot on, whites cooked through and the yolks sunny and runny. Let's commit seppuku on this creasture and see what comes out...

Ain't a bad looking sando on the inside and it's kinda giving me a blood flow... It's a hefty portion but strangely, I kinda want to motorboat this madame. This sando was so thick there was no way you wrap your filthy hole around this... I resorted to cutting it up into smaller pieces to eat this thing. It was not bad at all... I have had some horrendous versions elsewhere and this easily tops them. I can see how this could be a kickass hangover grub in my near future.

Traditional Breakfast. Those who are not that adventurous should try their 100% guaranteed All American breakfast... It will satisfy even the most discriminating taste so that Brad doesn't have to fill out paperwork or kick 100% of some bald douche's ass since it will never be sent back due to it being a little bit under-cooked. Ok, I'm lying... It's not 100% guaranteed but I'm still gonna have a helluva piss, Hamilton.

Smoked Salmon & Roasted Veggie Frittata, ciabatta toast. A little bit on the thinner side for a frittata but it wasn't bad overall. Not much smoked salmon in there but the veggies made up for it. The ciabatta was kinda hard to chew and the rest of the plate was filled up with the old leafy greens trick. It's a try it once kinda dish and move on... But I'm sure some mook on Yelp will say this is to "die for"... Please do, so I can have your seat.

I know it's just a generic breakfast brunch lunch joint but I kinda like this place, it's clean and sterile and has some character to it... They try to give it that country hip vibe with all the wood accents and edison bulbs but it's just way too clean to mistake this for some genuine hillbilly shack and you can see corporate's fingerprints all over it. This franchise's grub is not bad and the price is pretty much on point for this type of grub for the masses, especially, the gringos... They can't get enough of this type of vittles, just like Panera. There's a lot of options on the menu to choose from and I would prolly go back to try the Elevated Egg Sandwich... I know it ain't gonna be as good as a NYC BEC or LA's eggslut... But the pouch has to try it at least once... And then report back to my one fan with my findings.

2571 Blackmon Drive
Decatur, GA 30033
http://www.firstwatch.com