Rize Artisan Pizza + Salad

Gimmicky 'ZA joints are dime a dozen in this town, they're usually found in high foot traffic areas with a lot of families in the suburbs or located near malls (ie: California Pizza Kitchen). These types of generic corporate "chef driven" 'ZA joints do well with people with kids, teenagers and office workers during lunch or early after work. So what happens when a corporate style 'ZA concept is hell bent on expanding at a pace that does not appear to be sustainable? You naturally open your flagship location in Poncy-Highland, another one up in Sandy Springs and plan a third for midtown without even seeing if the first flagship location will work over a reasonable period of time... That sounds like a great strategy and use of investor funds.
Will the aging hipsters in Poncey- Highland take to this place or will they just walk on by to old school standbys like Righteous Room and Manuel's Tavern? I have no fucking idea but it's never crowded every time I ride by this place. I guess I've waited long enough to check this place out... Time to stop talking the talk and and start walking the walk... I shit you not, my fat ass actually walked to this place and with my luck, I thought it was closed at first because no one was in there. Then I turned the corner and up to the front door, I'm like is this place even open? I walked in and there were 3 workers on staff in the entire place totally silent and I'm like are they the cleaning crew because there was not a single paying customer in sight. Was this place being robbed, was I in the middle of a heist for the 'dough' in their safe? There can't be much cash in here with no customers. So, the only server walked up to me at the front and before she can even say a word, I'm like BLINK TWICE if you are under duress... Then she starts laughing at me and asked if I had ever been in here before... I'm thinking to myself out loud like usual and said, by the looks of it, I don't think anyone has... Hardy har har, she says. Damn, that was a cheesy line... Speaking of cheese, let's take a look at the 'ZA menu... I don't like how you have to order at the front door, you feel like you're being rushed (like at Tea House Formosa)... Not that there was anyone in there to rush me but still she's standing there staring at the distinguished pouch plumage waiting for me to give her an order to put into their high tech ordering system aka a tablet.
The menu is pretty simple and straight forward but they like to call it "bold, global flavors", hey whatever floats your dinghy... They got pizza, flatbreads, salads, small plates, pastas, beer and wine.. The same old, same old. Jesus, sounds like they just opened up a CPK wannabe so that they can be close to the Urban Outfitters' demographics... And no one knows how that place is still even in business. My pouchy senses are starting to tingle, but let's take a quick look anyways...

Slammed packed on a Sunday afternoon... You can hear a spider fart in here. Bless their hearts.

Charbroiled Wings, ginger honey sauce.These did not look and smelled half bad. Nice color and a little char. The ginger honey was kinda boring for these 'bold' wings to be dunked into. But the wings themselves were pretty damn good. Good crisp/char on the outside and moist and tender on the inside. Not a bad wing, I would get them again since there's no one in here to order them.

Grilled Pork Meatballs, fire roasted tomato, shaved grana padano.This sounded great on paper, I was dreaming of soft tender succulent juicy meatballs but all I got was reheated hard rigor mortis grandpa balls that were stored in the refrigerator way too long. They weren't even warm through and lacked any seasoning. The fire roasted cherry tomatoes were fine and they burst in your mouth like it should. The grana padano flakes were fine as well. These meatballs were forgettable and I would not order these again unless they were prepared fresh on that day.

Stuffed Peppadew Peppers, whipped feta, crumbled fennel sausage, spiced walnuts, calabrese oil, parsley. Sounds like a winner on paper but they came in 3rd place. While the feta stuffed peppers were pretty decent, the crumbled fennel sausage were hard bits of tiny pork dust. The oil was neither spicy nor vibrant, kinda looked like the leftover oil after over cooking the little ground pork nuggets. Maybe they could have drawn the attention away from the dried out meat bits if this dish was covered in parsley as the menu stated.

Charred Cauliflower, maple sesame dressing, spiced walnuts, pomegranate seed. When I see the word charred, I kinda expect the dish to be warm at least... Maybe that's just me because in order to char something you kinda need fire... Last time I checked fire was hot and this dish was not. It was actually stone cold. It's got nice ingredients in there but no one said there would be 40% celery filler in there. The maple sesame dressing was ultra bland but if it was done right, this little veggie dish coulda came together nicely.

Vegetable, red peppers, tri-color carrot, fire roasted tomato, zucchini,artichoke, goat cheese, chickpeas, watermelon radish, fennel, baby spinach, pistachio, lemon ginger vinaigrette. Jesus, can you put more shit in there... Because everyone loves to read a small novel about each dish. This salad was actually made by mistake and they gave it to me because there was no one else in the place to dump this on... I guess they coulda put it on a demo table in the front window like how all the touristy Eyetalian joints on Mulberry do to lure in all the suckers. But I don't think it would work on this desolate part of North Highland. Believe it or not, the dish that was made by mistake was the best tasting one... Isn't that always how it is, the shit you didn't order always taste the best.

Steak & Smoked Bleu Cheese Wedge, angus steak, romaine, Beeler's bacon, smoked bleu cheese, fire roasted tomato, charred red onion, bleu cheese dressing. I think the keyword here is 'Wedge'... Because I don't see anything that looks like a wedge on this plate. Perhaps they meant that I can wedge that plate under one of the wobbly table's legs. The sliced steak pieces were cold, hard, chewy and overcooked, not a piece of pink in sight and we're even right across from Urban Outfitters. If you took off the steak and erase the word 'wedge' from this salad, then it wouldn't be half bad. Not that it was very exciting, either. Meh, just skip it.

Superfood, seared shrimp, quinoa, mixed lettuce, feta cheese, zucchini, cucumber, spiced walnuts, honey lemon vinaigrette. With a name like that, you would think this would be Supergood. This looked like the scraps bucket out back for composting. The shrimp wasn't seared, it was cold and hard like chewing on an eraser. The honey lemon vinaigrette tasted like pure castor oil and nothing else... If I ate this entire thing like the lardass that I am, I woulda prolly reenacted the entire pie eating contest scene from Stand By Me. Totally skip this.

Prosciutto & Pomengranate, goat cheese, baby spinach, spiced walnuts, balsamic reduction. You can't go wrong with a flatbread and prosciutto, right? Unless it was reheated from yesterday's leftovers. This wasn't half bad... I mean this flatbread is so easy to make, nothing is really cooked except the bread part. It was light, airy, a little crisp and warmed through... Not bad tasting but it was so average that once is more than enough.

Waverly 'ZA, prosciutto, gorgonzola, shredded mozzarella, asiago, fig jam, balsamic reduction, grana padano. This was their lunch size signature pie which was the better way to test the 'ZA... And I'm glad I did. It's a very greasy pie... The crust was oily as if they brushed the crust after it came out of the oven... Wait, they did brush the crust. Remember, the crust is basically your handle to eat the damn slice. If I wanted a greasy ass crust I would order from Pizza Hut. It's not a bad looking pie but I just can't get that greasy crust out of my mind. The pie itself was semi decent, it had nice lightly charred spots and the slice folded with ease. The flavors were ok as well, not a great 'ZA by any means but for a quick lunch bite, it could do if nothing else was opened. I wouldn't get this pie again, I shoulda prolly stuck with the simple Margherita, instead.

I don't know if this place will last long at this rate based on this weekend visit... Opening more locations may not be the brightest idea... Especially, a 3rd one in midtown which is prolly the dumbest idea being so close to this location. Anyone remember when Chipotle opened a bunch of Shophouse Southeast Asian Kitchens thinking it was the best idea ever? Yeah, I thought so... They are now quietly closing all of them down within the week because they sucked ass. Don't be like Slophouse... Get your first location in order and work on your customer base first then think about exploring future expansion. Why do people always think their concept will work when all other similar concepts have failed... You gotta ask, who's stroking their ego? No one even knows about this place, do they even have PR promoting this or just using Eater? This location for this corporate pedestrian concept is baffling... After witnessing first hand on how dead it was on a weekend afternoon, it's not a good sign. This place would work better in the suburbs, in a mall... The sheep and their younglings will eat this generic shit up.


675 N. Highland Ave
Atlanta, GA 30306
www.rizeartisanpizza.com