Yum Yum Thai

This little Thai joint in the corner has been around forever in this dumpy ass empty strip mall. They got faded newspaper clippings from decades ago still up on the windows. It was well received about 15 years ago according to the sun-washed review. They couldn't have changed much after all these years, could they? Noooo! Fuck me, it's time for the pouch to gamble once again if I will get instant IBS or not... I never say no to a challenge and I'm not gonna start now. But we all know Thai food sucks in this town and every place that says they have the best Thai food usually does... On Fantasy Island.
On a recent Saturday night the parking lot had about 30 cars parked in front and I thought to myself, there must be something going on with this place if there's that many cars out front. Walked in and it was dead as the paper the 2001 review was printed on. Where the fuck were all the people? There must be some illegal gambling going on at the hair salon a few doors down with the tinted windows since I saw a couple people outside smoking. Since, I got Jedi mind trick into thinking this place was happening I might as well try it out. I don't think they have changed the decor or the menu since they opened back in 2001. It was Bangkok ghetto as can be which could be a good sign to its authenticity. Let's stick with some classics... It can't be that bad.

Papaya Salad. Didn't see it on the menu and asked if they had it... And they said yes. Wow, it even kinda surprise me that they would keep this off the menu. Well, look at the area, it's redneck central. They wouldn't know what a som tum was if it was served off the back of a pick up truck covered in camouflage with duck calls. The papaya salad was pretty decent, the owner even came out and asked how hot I would like it. That was pretty cool of them. I would get it again but it needed more acidity and crushed peanuts which they were more than happy to do so after asking.

Thai Wings. I can not pass up Thai wings, if it's the real deal, they are sick. But the only thing Thai about these wings were that they were put in the fry basket by a Thai person. They were so boring, plain and flavorless, unless you count the flavor from the week old grease in the fryer. That sauce was straight outta a can and watered down. Awful tiny wings... The pouch got fucked again.

Green Curry, beef. Like a broken record, once again, I got suckered into getting the green curry even after asking them if they do Thai Hot the real way. They said of course but this came out... A watery concoction of overly white and creamy looking green curry. Thai Hot my ass, this was Penguin ass hot in negative 30 degree temp. There was no spice, it was likely drinking coconut milk straight from the can with veggies strips and chewy beef jerky in it. I was really hoping they could at least make it better than the local chain Thai restos. I do commend them for using real Thai eggplant, though, the only saving grace for this dish. But overall, this was a tremendous slouch of a dish.

Pad Thai, tofu. WTF is this? A noodle soup? Look at all that sweet sauce. But after mixing it all up and asking them for more limes, it turned out to be ok tasting. It's not the best Pad Thai but if you were jonsing for a fix this would do in a pinch... But why waste your time schlepping your ass all the way over here. There's more than enough mediocre Pad Thai to be had sprinkled throughout town.

This was the spice rack that they gave me to amp up the green curry... Well, as you can guess adding any of these to the green curry will only turn it into a pink nightmare. But they were pretty spicy, though.

This is getting way too routine. Thai food in this town is a total disappointment... Like my life. I would not come back here again but I did find what all the fuss was about with all the cars in the parking lot. There is a Latino "church" around the corner from the resto... I bet they had some sick tacos during that night service. As for this joint, there is really nothing pulling me back here, even the secret off menu papaya salad. But they must be doing something right to have lasted this long.

3977 Lawrenceville Hwy
Tucker, GA 30084 
770-496-0307 
http://www.yumyumthaitucker.com/