Staplehouse

I have read and heard so much about this place that I was kinda skeered to come here before they have gotten their game down with the consistency and execution... I didn't want to be let down. This joint has been on my radar for weeks and I wanted to go every single week but just couldn't bring myself to do it... I wanted to go when they are at the top of their game but if it turned out to be a disappointment, the pouch woulda done what it does best... Blowing shit up with no remorse. It's been awhile now since they have been doing dinner service regularly... I guess it's that time to face the music. I know Ryan Smith is a seasoned cook and a good one at that, so I had a feeling it won't be as bad of a shitshow as I make it out to be in my tiny useless squirrel brain... But at the same time, I'm repeating "Hope for the best, prepare for the worst." over and over again in my head. Can y'all sense that I really don't want to be disappointed here...
Snuck in under the cover of darkness one recent week night and headed straight for the bar... It was pretty quiet overall which was perfect but I couldn't believe the demographics in here on this night. It was all older well dressed whities... In this neighborhood? Am I missing something here, was it mistress night or something? A girl in the corner of the bar ordered a Cosmo, yeah, a fucking Cosmo! Now, I'm thinking this was a hangout for escorts. If there is a fucking silver Lotus Esprit parked outside and that sex on the beach in the corner starts talking about it riding on rails, I am fucking outta here, yo. Shit, I'm just hijacking this post to avoid talking about this joint aren't I? ...Focus, pouch, focus. Hell, let's just get it over with and see what damage there is at the end... C'mon, SH, work it baby, work it, own it....

Beef Tartare, sake bushi, celery, puff rice. When it came out, it looked a little thin... But once you put that meat in your mouth you'll know why this was not a bigger portion. The beef was diced almost a brunoise size which basically melted in your mouth. The contrast of textures in this simple dish was well thought out. The puff rice gave it that crunch to offset the ultra tender cubes of beef and the sake bushi basically like a powder bonito flake all paired well together on the palate. I think we're off to a good start, so don't fuck it up, yo. Give me another cocktail... I'm getting a blood flow.

Baby Cabbage, sunchoke, pork belly, wintercress. This is my kinda wedge salad! This cabbage wasn't raw and crunchy but instead it was soften and warmed, topped off with cubes of crispy pork belly. It was a different approach to what sounded like a very simple dish on the menu... Which I couldn't believe that I liked it as much as I did.

Braised Beef Neck, celeriac, oyster mushroom paste, rye. This is why I love restos like this that cooks what they want and give customers a little something more adventurous to discover. At first glance, the perfectly chopped chives on top took me back to the days in the kitchen where I have prepped buckets of these perfect little fucking rings day after day for my mise(ry) en place. The chives gave this slice of  "terrine" beef neck a little color of brightness than just a brown patty on a plate like a slice of meatloaf. Come to think of it, a couple squirts of spicy homemade ketchup would be a nice play on this dish as well... But that's just me, a sicko. The beef necks were really good, a little salty on the finish but it works. The neutral tasting celeriac wedges and puree balanced that saltiness out. It's a good looking and good tasting dish. I approve.

Roasted Mushrooms, farro piccolo, Charleston gold rice, sunflower, crisp egg. This dish is just good menu writing. Everything in here just works perfectly together. You get a lot of different textures and colors. It's so simple but yet so good. You can smell the woody and earthy notes from the gorgeous mushrooms.

And the nice surprise here was the crisp egg hidden in the middle. Crispy on the outside, soft boiled on the inside... Mix that shit up all around and it's fucking fantastic and oh so savory. I really liked that crisp egg and the soft yolk pulls this dish all together. These motherfuckers are seriously working me here with their dishes so far... I do keep a pair of knee pads in the car just in case you want to go that extra mile.

Rabbit Boudin, dark roux, chioggia beets, celery. This dish is just stunning, crazy ass colors and textures once again. That rabbit boudin was pretty awesome from the great color on the casing to the smooth and savory sausage mix inside... When I saw the word boudin, I was thinking of blood pudding. How fun would it be if they had mixed in some rabbit boudin noir? But the rabbit boudin blanc alone did not disappoint. The chioggia beets were really good too except that I wished it had retained it's candy cane color. Another excellently executed dish.

Baby Carrots, aged beef fat, broccoli, dandelion greens. The thing that got me on this dish was the "aged beef fat"... What the fuck is that? Yes, exactly as it sounds. The creamy "sauce" had the savory notes from the fat but without all the greasiness. Mix it all up with veggies and it's like a pseudo vegan orgy in your mouth. Those baby carrots were spot on and the char from the broccoli florets gave this dish the smokiness it needed. I can't believe that I liked an all veggie dish... Even if it's not 100% vegetarian but you will never notice the beef fat if they didn't mention it.

You can't enjoy this bad ass spread without a cocktail or two... Penicillin, Gran Torino, Old Fashioned, Life of Ryan, Oaxaca Flacka Flame, 20th Century, The Ivey League... Ok, maybe I had 7. Gosh, I am such a fat fucking alchie... But if Stuart Smalley can be happy with himself with all his faults then I can too... Because "I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And doggone it, people like me." ...Now, pass the booze.

I am no sommelier but I can drink the shit outta some vino... I've been into Malbec for awhile now and who knew the dominant grape variety in Cahors wines was Malbec. You learn something new everyday, even for this unread fat alchie. This half bottle of wine was really nice but it also came with a price... Totally worth it, though.

I'm not even gonna beat around the bush here... This place fucking kicks ass. The talent in the kitchen is one of the finest in this town. The creativity, the technique, the execution, the presentation, the price and the service really makes this joint a destination spot even if it's in a shitty ass neighborhood... Oh, excuse me, an up and coming hood. If the a la carte menu was this skillful, then I will definitely be back to try the chefs tasting menu one of these days. This was far from fine dining, that's not their style but it was dining at it's finest on this night without all the pretentious overpriced shit found elsewhere. It was fun dining. Let's hope they'll stick around for awhile and I'm still on the fence with their prepaid tasting menu... I just don't think that system will work for this town like it has in cities like Chicago, Atlanta just ain't big enough to support it. And it just seems way too invested for most people. But I still like what they're doing here.

Burp.

541 Edgewood Ave SE
Atlanta, GA 30312
404-524-5005
http://www.staplehouse.com/

Dish Dive Mondays

I think I have said to my one reader in the past that I adore this place. This tiny ass space is the definition of a local joint for the local yokels. I have been here a handful of times and it has lived up to my expectations every time. I have been on a pilgrimage in search for the mecca of all lobster rolls in Atlanta... C'mon, puh-leez, we all know lobster rolls suck in this one horse town. Ok, they don't suck suck but the lofty price paid for them was basically a robbery in progress. Shit, what is it with this town and charging upwards of $30 for a smallish lobster roll. I have made lobster rolls for less than $10 and they were 100 times better... But sometimes I'm just a lazy piece of lumpy cow muffin and don't feel like picking the meat outta the shell, so I get suckered into paying those sky high prices only to get kicked in the wallet and nuts again and again... That is until, Shane put a cute Vietnamese spin on the classic lobster roll on DD's special Monday menu. And get this shit, it's under twenty-fucking-dollars. SOLD, motherfuckers!
Everyone knows what this joint looks like and how it operates, it's basically a dining room with a kitchen... Enough small talk, let's just get to the good stuff.

Banh Maine. Don't bitch and complain to me about having shallots on top... I'm a classic lobster roll kinda pouch, myself but I also know this ain't no classic lob roll either. That's why it's called a Banh Maine... But at it's soul it is a real lobster roll, just with a little hint of Vietnamese finesse. The top split bun was from Alon's which was spot on and the lobster meat was finished off in butter. The dry rub dusted prawn chips are a nice touch to keep it within the theme.

Buttered and toasted... Finally, a place that does it right. It was a very well stuffed roll, err, banh Maine. The lobster meat was spot on, not over-cooked and rubbery like most places. The meat was so tender like little pillows of sweet buttery clouds. The shallots and celery leaves worked well, it didn't take away or tried to distract you from what you're actually eating. This was a very tasty lob roll and the $19 price tag made it even more dericious.

Cabbage & Green Papaya. This was an impressive mound of ruffage. I love me some Som Tum... But so many Thai joints fuck it up so badly. I wasn't expecting an authentic Som Tum here, fuck no of course not, but since this menu tonight was all about Asian grubbery, I had to try it... And I'm glad I did. This shit was real tasty, the only thing it needed was more fish sauce and lime juice for the acidity. But overall, this nouvelle version bested most Thai joints in town. The mint played very well in this dish as well and the little fried onions and garlic gave it that extra crunch.

Pork & Crab Eggroll. I know what y'all are thinking... $8 for 3 eggrolls may seem pricey to the slutty Chinese grubbing roundeye but the filler inside ain't the same chopped up rabbit shit cabbage you would find at those other dumps. This was filled with a good amount of pork but the crab was a bit on the light side. Still really good, though... Although, I woulda fried them a tad bit longer for a more golden crust. I ain't complaining though, just a personal preference.

"Monday's with Shane"... Sounds like a public access television show. Wait, a minzie... That's a good idea.

Theses bastards did it again... They did dun good to fill da pouch up with tasty vittles once again. Like I said before, we need more of these local yokel joints, it's good for da hood and for da pouch. Places like this give cooks the freedom to make what the people want and the kick ass lobster roll was everything that I was looking for in this town. Double D is off da hook, riding da bus to flavortown, so gansta, it is so money that you'll want to shut da front door... My bad, that's the other public access TV show with that flaming hair cocksucker, Triple Dicks. No donkey sauce here, thank baby fucking Jesus... Was that too much? Was it out of bounds?

2233 College Ave NE
Atlanta, GA 30317 
404-957-7918
http://www.dishdivekitchen.com/#about

Iron Age

Ever since Iron Age took over the ginormous space that was once Sydney's Buffet and then Hy Buffet, it has become a giant K-Pop night club that I like to call... Club FOB. It's got that underground vampire vibe with the blue lights and K-Pop videos blasting on giant screens through out the cavernous space. But this ain't no ordinary club, it's like Disneyland for slants... With the smell of AYCE Corean BBQ wafting in the air. For $23 you get an unlimited meat selection of assorted flavors and marinades of pork, beef, chicken and octopus. It's a great fucking deal if you're a fat piece of shit like me. They actually paid someone to print menus that slashed out "$25" to "$23" to make you feel like you're getting a deal... Which you totally are. Their limited banchan options pretty much sucks ass except for their ultra velvety and smooth tater salad and grilled rice cakes... But seriously, who the fuck goes to an AYCE Corean BBQ joint for the banchan filler? You're there for the mounds of meats... I'm getting the meat sweats just thinking about this mouth orgy and how I am going to shovel all that manmeat into my face gash at a steady and efficient pace like a pro on gangbangs.com. You need a game plan before entering this bottomless fiery pit of bloody flesh. The challenge is quite difficult to conquer every option on the menu... So, bring a gang of your own choosing to bang the meat out. Let's go eat some meat and don't forget the tissues...

This nether world filled to the brim with FOBs, raw meats and sometimes unbearable K-Pop teeny bopper music. It's a fucking spectacle and it's awesome.

The meat list. 2 chickens, 7 porks, 7 beefs, 2 intestines, 1 octopus. The beef soup was pretty decent as with the japchae but the grilled rice cakes were very tasty with the spicy sauce.

You get to order 2 meat platters at a time. Sometimes they give you a single serving and sometimes they give you a double serving, there is no rhyme or reason... I think when they are so busy they just shovel a mound of meat on the platter just to get it out. They are pretty damn fast with the response time. They also change out the grill plate constantly so the crap sticking to it doesn't smoke and burn. Very efficient.

Octopus. These were not small by any means, one serving had about 5 medium size whole octopus marinaded in a semi sweet and spicy sauce. They took a few minzies to cook because of their size but none of it turned out chewy. I would get them again. I wanted to get the intestines but no one at the table wanted any and no way in fucking hell would I eat the entire serving myself. But I will get it next time.

I'm getting the meat sweats just looking at this... After multiple platters of meats, I think we had about 10 servings plus all the sides... I was dunzo. Especially, after the Iron Age Soy Beef Steak... It looked like a fetus put through a meat tenderizer. It was a giant mound of babymeat and I ate all of it, even the placenta. After inhaling that load in my mouth, I was paralyzed. I have hit the brick wall and my pouch was stretched out more than Kate plus 8's belly and it looked like a badger attacked it with extreme prejudice. I could barely fucking walk outta here let alone get out of my chair.

Mission fucking accomplished... Just waiting for the gout to set in, now.

2131 Pleasant Hill Rd
Duluth, GA 30096
678-584-9098

W.H. Stiles Fish Camp - Dub's

This joint was the last on my list to visit... Somehow, in my bizarre mind, I wanted to save the best for last. I wanted to wait for the lobster roll to end my culinary tour in the PCM. I mean they are part of the Bacchanalia empire after all, so I expected nothing but quality from them since everything else in this food hall has been lackluster at best so far... Maybe this place will be that one gem in the rough.
The space is laid out alright I guess, the squiggly bar out front and the normal seating in the back. I sat at the bar but one thing really baffled me... Why aren't there hooks under the bar to hang your shit? For seasoned restaurateurs, why wasn't this cheap but important item installed along the entire bar... I've been to shitholes and dive bars that even have hooks under the bar, but not much else.
Billed as a fish camp, the first thing I looked for was the elusive fried clams with bellies... None were to be found. Sometimes, the fried oyster appears on the menu. But it's off the menu more than it is on. It's a pretty much straight forward menu of mostly fried seafood and sandos. But of course, the lofty priced lobster roll was the main attraction here. Let's sample a few items and see if this lives up to all the hype from the tourists.

Sweet Jesus, Skip Jack, Bodie Island, and one other I forgot. Look, it's no Kimball House... I'm like a broken record. No one still has an oyster program like them in this town. Dub's do have a daily rotation of different oysters which was nice. These oysters were decent but they lacked the finesse you would find at KH. Cleaning/prepping, schucking, presentation and taste were adequate but nothing all too exciting. The schucker dude was a trip, a super nice and cool guy. For the price of these bi-valves, I expected a little bit more... Just save your money and head to KH, instead.

Crab Beignets. Puffy doughy gut fillers. They were just ok, nothing really that exciting. After two bites you will be kinda over it. There's not much crab in there, at least make them crab flavored fried dough nuggets.

Chowder. There were more cauliflower and tater cubes than seafood in there. Hell, there were only a few kernels of corn, too... One would think they would overload it with cheap filler to make it more hearty looking. Too bad this was mostly cream and a few chunks of veggies... Weak weak seafood chowder. Those bread ball thingers were stale and hard... Prolly been sitting around since they opened.

Shrimp Po'boy. This was kinda visually appealing because the fried shrimp tricks you into thinking that it's bigger than it is... The bread/roll was small so all that stuff was just piled on top. You can't even fold the bread around it halfway. Shit was falling out everywhere. The shrimp was good if it was just fried shrimp alone but a panko style coating/crust doesn't do it for me in a po'boy vehicle. I prefer a wet batter or a cornmeal crust for a po'boy... But that didn't matter in the end because the bread was not made for a po'boy. Deconstruct it and eat it with a fork, you will be better off. Come to think of it, I was never a fan of their shrimp po'boy at Star Provisions because every time I tried it, it tasted like eating aluminum foil, had this metallic taste to it... Just didn't taste right unless it was sourced from the Chattahoochee's finest.

Lobster Roll. The price of this creasture just keeps inching higher and higher. It was $22, now $24. A friend said it topped $26 one time. It's a tad below an average sized lob roll. The use of the top split bun was spot on but it wasn't really buttered and toasted. The lobster filler were a mix of tail and claw meat which was fine and expected. It looked a bit overdressed but it was bland... Lacked the sweetness of a great lobster roll. You would think it being overdressed would give it some more flavor but this overpriced bottom feeder left me more and more depressed bite after bite. It looked like it had promise but at the end of the day, it was pretty much average at best and I was $24 poorer. Why do I always get suckered in for a lobster roll when I should know better. Shit, if Longhorn's had a lobster roll, I would be dumb enough to try it just for shits and giggles.

The "Today's Catch' sando was a fried cod sandwich... Which seemed to be the "Everyday's Catch" but it was pretty generous overall. They slapped on two size-able individual pieces of fried fish between the large bun. It was crispy and hot but it was pretty much unseasoned. The layer of slaw was overdressed, wet and soggy... Luckily, the thick bun held up to all that smegma. I wasn't that lucky, though, that jizz squirted all over my face when I tried to take a bite. This pic makes the lob roll much larger looking but it wasn't, the cod sando was almost twice the size. It wasn't a bad fish sando, just not as good as you would think coming from their pedigree.

Looks like the new trend to casual dining is all about seafood, you got all the new crab boils opening up on Bufo Hwy recently and fish shacks like Dub's in PCM and BeetleCat in Inman Park... I'm still waiting for someone to open a fish joint in KSM. Some sucka will prolly do it in time. But as for Dub's, I guess it fits the narrative in this food hall. Pricey, showy and perfect for the tourists that come in droves to be part of the big city. I don't love it and I don't hate it, it's just another option for the sheep to graze inside this hall. But if they had fried clams with bellies, that would a total game changer.

675 Ponce De Leon Ave NE
Atlanta, GA 30308
404-900-7900 
http://www.starprovisions.com/fish-camp/

O-Ku Sushi

This joint is very popular in Charleston because there aren't that many sushi joints in that town... But can they duplicate the same success in this town that already has a decent amount of respectable sushi? I think y'all know the answer to that but let's take a closer look anyways. You can't see it from the road, it's behind the Westside Ironworks building. If you see Tom+Chee (whatever that is), then you're at the right building. A lot of moolah went into the interior design, it's dark and woody. The sushi bar is actually quite small for a joint this size... I guess they don't want that many gaijins staring at them while they're working. The bar is pretty big but their liquor selection is a real snoozer (no booze list either), along with their limited cocktail menu. The servers were no help with what whiskeys they had, they said whatever was on the shelf. The sake list is decent but overpriced as expected... As well as their wine list. Is this the trend with outside resto groups coming into town and just price whatever they want and see how the people react and adjust accordingly? If no one complains even better! I didn't have a good feeling about the bartender, so I skipped the cocktails... Me skip booze? Sacrilege! I tried ordering a couple of beers but both were out. Then they also tell me that they're out of a few dishes as well... We're off to a good start aren't we?
I was kinda over this place already and it has only been 5 minzies... But since I'm here, I might as well get at least something to eat and see what the fuss was all about. The server was pretty good but you can tell he was greener than the wasabi. He tried his best, so that counts a little... But that doesn't mean he's gonna get a bigger tip because all the shit that I wanted were all 86'd.

Misoshiru. $4 for a bowl of instant tasting miso soup. How exciting... I can feel the blood flowing down to my nether region like the miso soup flowing into the urinal. I recommend no one get this ever.

Hamachi Carpaccio. The most ripped off dish in sushi resto history... But can this version stand up to Nobu's infamous classic? The yellowtail was milder in taste than most others I have tried in this dish but the jalapeno gave it that pop to wake up the taste buds. It was a decent version but I wouldn't get it again. Put the money into another dish, instead.

Truffle Kakuni, braised pork belly, sweet truffle sauce, shiitake, Jidori egg. This sounded great on the menu... And it came out surprisingly impressive. The pork belly was executed nicely and the truffle sauce really came through on the first bite and into the finish. The shiitake shrooms were glazed with a sweet sauce which the roundeyes would love because they are usually pretty earthy on the nose and tongue. Everything was working nicely until I got to the Jidori egg which I was really excited about... The Jidori chicken is "all natural" and only found in Japan until the last few years where they are half-breeding them on the West coast. Their egg yolks are usually a lot more intense in color, instead of a pale yellow yolk from a regular old cheekan (but I made some semi soft boiled eggs recently that had a sick ass bright golden yolk), it's more bright orange in color... But sadly, this egg was cold and the yolk was dull in color plus it was near hard boiled. Never put a cold hard boiled egg in a warm dish, it really fucks up your taste buds with the hot and cold in your mouth. If the purveyor sold these eggs as Jidori eggs, then they got ripped off... And now, I got ripped off paying for it. Trickle down economics. Thanks, motherdick.

Sashimi & Nigiri Moriawase. I wanted to try the omakase but since so many things were 86'd, I wasn't gonna risk paying top dollar for a full blown omakase with the regular scraps of fish left over in their freezer. Let's try the smaller moriawase to sample the quality of the fish first... Very generic selection of salmon, tuna and yellowtail, how original. I'm usually not a big fan of salmon sashimi but this specimen was on point, very good quality, texture and bite. The tuna and yellowtail were fine, not bad not great... Along with the presentation. Just as expected.

The nigiri was disappointing... Tuna and salmon again. They coulda at least gave difference pieces of fish since I had it already in the sashimi. It's called cost control and the dummies wouldn't know any better. Oh, I fucking know better and always taking mental pouch notes. If you closed your eyeballs, every piece tasted the same... Bland and devoid of flavor... Except for the charred (dark tuna) nigiri which was pretty smokey. None of it was bad, just not that exciting or interesting. For $35, you would expect a little more fireworks and better plating instead of just plopping down the pieces on a blank plate. The sushi rice was an issue but let's take a look at the all nigiri moriawase first...

Nigiri Moriawase. So, just for shits and giggles, I wanted to see what other pieces they would give you in the all nigiri deal... Mostly the same stuff but they did add a scallop, real snow crab, mackerel, and snapper to the mix. I would go for the all nigiri next time. It's not bad quality, they're decent sized slices, but it's just not that exciting. And the bigger issue than the fish itself was the sushi rice... It needs work big time. They broke apart too easily, not seasoned enough with rice vinegar and it was pretty cold. It shouldn't be fridge cold, it should be held at a constant temp (roomish), not too warm, not too cold. Anyone who knows sushi should know that the rice is more important than the fish... But to each their own. This was better than the mixed moriawase but not by much. I kinda have a feeling that the full price omakase will be a let down for the pouch, so I'll wait awhile to try that.

The service was good but additional training is still in order, the prices are pretty high based on the quality and technique I have sampled compared to MF, Tomo, and some UMI dishes. I have not written this place off yet, they still need to work on a bunch of things but I think with time they will get their shit together and push out some good product... With that said, they really need to hurry the fuck up if they want to continue to command those lofty prices for average execution. Once they get into a bad routine, getting out of it will become more difficult with time. Time to crack the whip, bitches! And that mural of the fat Asian dude in rags riding on a scooter is kinda racist... That fucker prolly ate all the dishes that I wanted. Fat slob.

1085 Howell Mill Rd
Suite A3
Atlanta, GA 30318
404-500-2383
http://www.o-kusushiatl.com/

The Crab Shack

This National Lampoon's style crab house is like the Walley World of Tybee Island... While the island isn't really a destination resort town, somehow this dump has become a destination on it's own. Scores of people from around the world (some were hard to tell if they were even from this planet) make their way here for all sorts of crustaceans served year round. I have been here a couple times and it was pretty good, so it's time to make another stop since I was in the general area.
This place is like a sideshow... Wait, this is a sideshow. There's an alligator pond thinger attraction, a bird house room, a section 8 projects for stray cats and of course the sideshow's main attraction which is the seafood. I like this place because it's basically a dump... But the shellfish here is pretty decent, too.

I love this gaudy shit. There's a giant crocodile next to it, too.

Lots of goodies to be had but only one really matters... The sampler platter!

Captain Crab's Sampler Platter... Arrrrrrgh! This is one buff platter for about $24. There was a lot going on up in this piece... Shrimp, snow crab, Jonah crab, crawfish, mussels, corn, taters and sausage. Once this platter arrives, so does the fucking cats that hang around here. They are nasty filthy little creastures... Trying to rub up against you for some crabs. Shit, don't touch me, you'll give me crabs, you smelly little fucker. Once you kick them in the face, they go begging at the next table, so you can enjoy your feast. This was good overall. This single platter was big enough to feed two people... But I'm gonna give you to the count of ten, to get your ugly, yellow, no-good keister off my sampler platter, before I pump your guts full o' lead!

Shrimp & Shack Stew Lunch Special. The sampler platter was good and filling but I needed an extra snack so I wanted to see the what the fuss was about on their seafood stew... Which is a cream based stew with blue crab meat. I was really tempted by their Brunswick stew but since this ain't a BBQ joint, I had to stick with the shack stew. The stew was thick, real thick, but it did have a good bit of crab meat in there. This bowl of stew is definitely not gluten free with all that flour thickener. The peel and eat shrimp was good as can be.

Where the fuck is the clock? I couldn't hear it... Oh, wait, it's a gator not a croc. This cesspool only contained a handful of small gators... They are so fucking lazy, just slept the entire time I was staring at them. No peanuts for you!

Loud and annoying, the birds are... What the fuck is this? Why is friggin Yoda in here? This is a most incredible find. Yoda has safely escaped the Dagobah System and now is the caretaker of this bird room. I hope he finally finds the peace he's been looking for after all these centuries. Ironically, the bird room is near the stray cat motel that they built from old carpet and plywood, it even has lights inside it... What a fucking life those cats have. LOL = Lap of Luxury... They get to eat surf & turf everyday.

This place is so cheesy but I really like it. The food is pretty good and I would stop by again if I was down this way in the future.

40 Estill Hammock Rd, 
Tybee Island, GA 31328 
912-786-9857
http://www.thecrabshack.com/

The Bayou Boil

These crawfish boil joints are creeping up everywhere... I know of 3 recently. I had a mediocre visit at the Spongebob's Boiling Crawfish house under the sea in that octagon building a month ago, no rush back... The food and service was pretty much laughable. Now, opens this joint in the old Little Szechuan space... Which they totally gutted and reno'd the inside and it looks a shitload better. I love how you walk in and they're all about merchandising already. T-shirts, cups, trinkets, other useless crap, etc takes up the front space next to the door. I don't know if that's a good sign or a bad sign. People need to stop trying to franchise their fucking concept before it becomes known as a quality grub destination. The whole place is simple, clean and decorated nicely but it has that wannabe corporate feel all over it... They really want to franchise this joint real bad. But the place was basically empty and they have a giant bar built out but no booze license. Dude. C'mon, broski... Everyone drinks beer with a seafood boil and fried shit. But let's forget about that bullshit for a minzie... I'm here for the grub. Let's take a look at a few samples...

The Bayou Bucket for 1. For $25, this was a really hefty pail of sea creastures. I'm kinda impressed... Unlike Boiling Crawfish which was pretty weak because they ran out of so many things. First rule of seafood boil club, don't fucking run of seafood. Second rule, don't fucking piss the pouch off when there's no food. But anyways, would you just look at that... Look at it. Look at it. It is really full and thick and it goes down deep... Yeah yeah, that's what she said. All the shit in there were pretty good. A lot of places have most of the stuff pre-cooked and sitting there for hours, by the time you get it, it is soggy as a motherfucker. I would definitely get this again.

Cheesy Crawfish, crawfish cream cheese creole dip. Dude, don't fuck with my emotions... This look like absolute crap. They give you thinly sliced toasted baguettes and tortilla chips. Where the fuck am I? Someone open a window, I can't breathe and believe this shit. As for the taste... Yeah, it's more suitable for a hobo's taste. Skip this shit.

Fried Shrimp & Oysters. Oddly enough they do not have fried oyster as an item even though they have oyster po'boy. But they were nice enough to make it anyways so I got a fried shrimp and fried oyster combo. The shrimp was pretty good since it had the tails on it, it woulda been better if the heads were on it as well. The oysters were acceptable, corn meal crust was nice and crunchy but the oyster itself was kinda bland and dried out. I would stick with the fried shrimp and pass on the oyster next time.

Catch & Mix Lunch Combo, 6" shrimp po'boy and wings. They got a good deal on the lunch specials... This one is a mix and match. I got the shrimp po'boy and wings... Shit, when I see wings I gotta try them just for shits and giggles. Plus, I had more than plenty of fried seafood already. Bottom line, this half a po'boy was weak. The bun sucked, the shrimp was ok, the dressing coated everything, it was basically a po'boy for children. The fries were fine, nothing special and the hush puppies were your standard filler. Let's see if their wings were any better...

I got them nekid because you never know how awful the hot sauce is these days. Once it's coated, there's not going back. Luckily, I did because that hot sauce was very middling. Very standard issue weak hot sauce. The medium minus sized wings were crispy and juicy inside, nothing special, just decent plain wings. They were acceptable.

Even with the misses here, I still like this place... That bucket of sea creastures is really their draw here. It's worth it for the price. The other stuff was just so-so but not toilet worthy. The fried stuff is really kid's level kinda grub. Stick with the bucket and you'll be alright. And they do give you gloves and a bibb if you want it... Just in case you're a messy squirter.

5091 Buford Hwy NE
Doraville, GA 30340  
770-733-1460
http://www.thebayouboil.com/home.html

La Mei Zi Lunch Visit

Stopped by for lunch recently... They weren't doing the "lunch buffet" anymore. My guess is that they got busted by the health department for that "open air" buffet sans sneeze guards. I wouldn't touch that lunch buffet with your pouch. People hovering over the portable steam pans panting and close-talking to it... It's like an active bacteria buffet. No fucking thanks. But their dishes on the menu is another beast... I have had very respectable dishes on past visits and it was time to see if they're still doing the shit right. Time to go into a food coma before 1PM and waste the rest of my day sleeping like a welfare case...  

Salt & Pepper Chicken. They still got their mojo on this... Crispy and light cheekan nuggets that almost floats into your face gash until the ultra hot temp burns your mouth and brings you back to reality. These are really good and addictive.. The fried garlic slices makes this dish, along with the fried basil. A must get on every visit.

Beef Scallion Rolls. Who friggin doesn't like girthy meat rolls in their oral cavity? You got the savory meaty protein on the inside and the crispy crunchy scallion pancake on the outside... What's not to love. It's the Chino burrito.

Pork Belly Bun. These fucking things are giant with a nice hunk of caramelized pork belly inside. Don't forget to ask for chili oil to give it that extra kick.

Inside the belly of the beast... I would do unspeakable things to this and then prolly get arrested for bestiality. Squirt.

Sichuan Beef Noodle Soup. Still one of the best value on the entire menu, this giant bowl is like $9. This is the ultimate comfort food. Savory and rich beef broth with hand pulled noods, ultra tender beef and veggies. This is damn good but there is another that best this bowl... Only my one reader will know what and where.

Smoked Pork Belly with Leeks. One of the classic dishes... Very smokey and very salty. But that's the point to this dish. The thin slices of pork with the leeks in your mouth... It just works. This is always on my list, well, only most of the time when there's a cracker at the table.

Lamb with Leeks, Cilantro in Hot Bean Sauce. The lamb, leeks, cilantro and sauce were really good except that it wasn't spicy at all. What a scam. I wanted to tell them to send it back and make it right and super spicy but there was a neophyte at the table and it woulda been just too much to bear with spice level 100... Not that anything here was that spicy. But overall, this was a good dish... Just make sure to tell them to make it ultra spicy, it will still come out mild.

That was a rather light lunch for the pouch... It usually inhales 8-10 dishes. But I'm on diet so 6 is plenty. This place still rocks, some dishes you want to avoid but if you stick with the classics, you can't lose here. Plus, it's clean and modern so the roundeyes will be ok coming in here but tell them to order the walnut shrimp, pork dumps, wings and veggie spring rolls because it's safe for their sensitive tummies.

Burp.

5150 Buford Hwy NE
Doraville, GA
770-676-0225
http://lameiziga.com/#welcome

Bread & Butterfly

Cakes & Ale does a good job and their Decatur Square location is pretty much money in da bank... Let's check out their little French-esque style cafe spin-off in trendy Inman Park. Remember, French cuisine is just cursed in this town, it's almost taboo to even think about opening a French-ish concept because no one really cares or knows much about French grub in this town. I have yet to find a real French resto utilizing proper techniques, it's a tough cuisine to get right... Maybe that's why it takes decades to master it and to even call yourself a real "chef". These days, people are even calling themselves "chef" working at Olive Garden or Buffalo Wild Wings... I once even heard some retard say that he was the executive chef for Arby's. Dude, stop. Don't fucking embarrass yourself... Y'all may have the meats but you ain't got the brains.
Enough of that malarkey... Let's get back to some frog vittles... I stopped by for a quick lunch and I was just not excited about the menu at all. How the fuck can you not have a croque of any gender on this menu? Shit, I'll even take a transgender croque... Put two tiny fucking quail eggs on top of a piece of cheesy bread with a saucisson hidden inside and call it a Croque Caitlyn and I will eat the shit outta it. But to my dismay, they have never heard of such a dish.
The whole entire menu is an unorganized mess... If you don't know French cuisine, you're gonna have a hard time guessing what the fuck each dish is. I saw a woman come in and sit down, stared at the menu in confusion and got up and walked out... Bless her heart. I looked around and most people were eating salads... Yeah, fucking salads. Bless their fucking hearts, too. Maybe I'm just expecting too much from them. Maybe I should just shut the fuck up and let the sheep pretend they are eating at a real French Cafe/Bistro... The shit I do.

Burger Americain. I really wanted a croque madame but none was had on the menu... I wanted something in sandwich form and this was the closest thing to one. There was this vegan French dip thing but vegan and French should never go together. I also wasn't really in the mood for a burger but beggars can't be choosers. When it came out I thought this looked like a fancy White Castle double burger... Guess what? It was steamy, gooey, juicy and really tasted like one, too... The soft steamed brioche bun barely held this beast together. I must admit, this was only good just because it reminded me of a dericious White Castle burger. The skinny fries were pretty good as well... But I still wanted a goddamn croque.

Tartine Provence. This was the only other thing that remotely interested me... But when it came out, it was a real snoozer. Who can't make this at home? If you can't make this at home, you prolly shouldn't be operating a TV remote. It's a piece of bread with thinly sliced cured "saucisson sec" with green shit on top.. What makes this French you ask? The friggin cornichons, perhaps? But cornichons don't belong on a tartine. This would work better if it was deconstructed... Because I had no clue how to eat this. I wanted to ask them for another piece of bread to put on top so I can eat it like a sando. A knife and fork on this thing does not work because the crust is so hard and thick that it won't cut through. You end up deconstructing it anyways and eating it with your fingers. That is just way too much work for me. I'm fucking exhausted already!

I have no doubt that they are using quality ingredients but it's a shame that the menu is still a work in progress. The dinner menu has a dish or two that looks decent but I'm not rushing back anytime soon... By the looks of it, I don't think anyone else is either judging by the crowds here and the crowds at Beetle Cat. The service was spotty even though they had a ton of staff on hand but getting their attention proved more difficult than their OCD attention to cleaning up tables. They have all the right tools in the shed but they seemed more like the carpenter's apprentice. For a small space, the menu is everything and this menu needs help... Along with a few other issues.


290 Elizabeth St.
Atlanta, GA 30307
678-515-4536
http://www.bread-and-butterfly.com/