"World Champion Pitmaster Melissa Cookston invites you to come taste the flavors that have won 10 World Championships!"
Chains come up with catchy PR gimmicks to trick the stupid voting public like she is actually cooking here (ie: like Guy Fieri at his restos)... Take a peek into the kitchen and you will find the crew from Shenanigan's in Waiting. The expeditor actually looked like Dane Cook and one of the line cooks like Luiz Guzman. I did not see one person of the female persuasion back in the kitchen. The fact that this joint opened without much fanfare speaks volumes. Observing the front of the house staff is also a tell-tale sign of their business model. And by what I saw, this is gonna be a real interesting first and last visit. All you have to do is look at who's eating there and what they are ordering. It's a BBQ joint, why are there more burgers coming out than BBQ? Am I the only schmuck who ordered the BBQ? This hipster wannabe DJ looking specimen comes in and orders a burger at the bar without even looking at the menu. Either he knows something I don't know or he is just a millenial with no palate or clue of what they specialize in. So, I take a look at the menu to see what the fuss was about with the burgers... I scroll down and see a "Donut Burger" they describe this as "Heaven with American cheese"... Fuck me. It was over before it began was what I was thinking to myself.
I have no choice except to accept what's coming to me... "Thank you, sir, may I have another" was in repeat mode in my tiny brain while my ginormous pouch was attempting to shrink itself.
Pork Rinds. Server asks if we would like some on the house... Duh. You come to a BBQ joint to eat a lot of man meat, so why would I say no to some crunchy fried porky foreskin? It was a nice gesture and pretty tasty. Hopefully, the BBQ will be just as tasty.
Signature Mary. Their version of the Bloody Mary... Too bad the bartender did not know how to make one. I don't think she has even had one or heard of this drink before. It took 15 minzies watching her stumble to make this drink at an empty bar. She kept doing other things to avoid trying to make this drink. I don't usually ever complain about booze because I'm a hobo but this was undrinkable. I have no clue what she put in there but it tasted like llama piss and a raccoon on the rag. It was so thin and the 2 squirts of bloody mary mix she used was old, it had that expired taste to it. That old stick of celery looked like it was left over from a half eaten plate of wings from another customer. Besides the celery, what else is missing from this "bloody mary"... One can only count the ways. To rub that nasty dry rub salt around the rim to my open oral wounds is the ultimate insult. This is hands down the worst drink that I have ever had to still pay for in my miserable life. I know what I'll be doing when I get home... Crying myself to sleep once again.
Pitmasters Sampler. Spare ribs, pulled pork, sliced brisket, turnip greens, mac n cheese and cornbread. It actually looked decent. Yeah, and so does the plastic food in the windows at restaurants in Asia... I'm going all in or bust. The ribs were barely acceptable, tough to cut apart, a little chewy, thin dry rub, not much bark, light smoke flavor and they were not fall off the bone tender. The sliced brisket had some smoke ring to it but they were dry, no fat or bark. You have to sauce the shit out of them to get it down. The pulled pork were dried out like it's been sitting under a heat lamp for days. Found an end piece/tip with nice bark and crispies but only to have that dream crushed with a nice curly pube sticking out like a fucking flagpole waving victoriously at my defeat. Showed the bartender, she had a look like... "And this is my problem, how?". She did show it to the kitchen and they came out with a small monkey dish of extra pork. Oh, joy... Give me more of the same batch where that curly dwell and spawned. I ate it. The cornbread was burnt on the bottom and it was made days ago, hard as a rock. The turnip greens were finely chopped like something you find in the frozen aisle.. No way this was made fresh from scratch. The mac had that jar sauce consistency which means it wasn't good. The two BBQ sauces they have tasted exactly the same except one has more black pepper in it. For $24, this sampler was not expensive for the portion but as in life you get what you paid for.
This place wasn't even crowded and they were in the weeds... It wasn't a surprise. The staff has minimal training as evident by the lack of knowledge of the food and drink menu. The "managers" were all hanging out in the office laughing at something on the internet. There's no doubt the complacency of the management trickled down to the rest of the staff since no one gave two shits on the service, food execution nor the drinks. My advice is to stick with the beer and burger here... Even though I had none of that. I'm just going with the vibe of everyone else eating here. They obviously knew better than I did. This joint might last longer than it should because of the convenient location for workers during the weekday but it's definitely not a destination for those who are seeking quality BBQ. Seems like middling BBQ like this joint along with Smoke Ring and Smokebelly is the norm these days. When the free pork rinds are better than the paid items, you already know what the outcome will be. Where there's smoke... You better start pumping.
4764 Ashford Dunwoody Rd
Dunwoody, GA 30338
770-394-7427
http://memphisbbqco.com/
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