Asian Pouchsuasion

What'll we get for ten dollars?
Everything you want
Everything?
Everything... No substitutions.

Oh, me so hungry. Me no eat you long time.
I'm just like that man they call, Georgie Pouchie Puddin' and Pie
I eat all the Popeyes and I make 'em cry
I'm like a marsupial in heat, a pouch without warnin'
I have an appetite for grub, 'cause me so hungry.


Ssam Burger.

Kimcheese Burger. Nice bun, toppings, flavors and a spot on medium rare burger. Am I dweaming here? This was actually pretty decent and edible. None of it went into the trash. That's a good sign.

Lemongrass Burger Patty Rice Box and Salad. A very decent tasting crap in a box grub. The lemongrass patty was pretty flavorful and it contained lemongrass bits. The sunnyside up egg was not too shabby. The ruffage were dressed nicely and pretty tasty. I can't believe I was somewhat impressed me from this visit. They should be proud... Except for the very weak and watery Miso Soup. The instant ones in the packets found at the Asian markets with dehydrated tofu bits are worlds away better. But overall, not bad at all.


Umi.

Avocado Salad w/ Wasabi Vinaigrette. This was like something my 3 year old nephew would make. It was so pedestrian, it left me scratching my head from this not cheap to eat joint.

Madai Carpaccio. The fish is always the star of the show here and this didn't disappoint.

Spicy Tuna Box Roll. The difference with this box roll is that the rice has be fried with a crispy edge all around. It's definitely an interesting take but not really my style. Some bites were hard to chew because it was too hard, it hurt my dentatas.

Nigiri. You got salmon, yellowtail and otoro... But I'm still suspect that it was otoro by the color, texture and the lack of fat. Not that I'm complaining about still a great piece of tuna.

Crunch Lobster Box Roll. Lobster and individual flavors kinda got lost underneath all that stuff. But it's a big seller with the gaijins, imagine that. Baffles the mind.

Black Cod Misoyaki. This dish will always be one of their best, not that it hasn't been done at every single sushi joint.. But when it's good, it's good. Can't dispute that.

Don't ask me what this was but it had something to do with seafood underneath all that mess. It may have been the Tempura Baked Lobster according to inside sources. Still kinda haunts me to this day.

Green Tea Souffle. Still a great idea and kinda tasty but it needs a couple more minzies in the oven because it was all liquid in the center. I wanted to take it home and violate this muff in unspeakable ways... Look at it, it's a perfect fit for some nubbin luvin. Squirt.


Shoya.

Uni Yamakake. Most people think the mountain potato root taste like snot but fuck that noise, add a little soy sauce, mix in that wasabi and uni and it's a killer dish.

Beef Tongue. Thinly sliced and broiled. Tender as hell and don't forget to squirt that lemon juice all over. Chicks dig it.

Sashimi. Whether it's the regular or deluxe, the sashimi is always top notch. I get it every time, it's that good.

Broiled Conch w/ assorted Mushrooms. Oh, it's good, get it... Buttery, tender, earthy, it's like a gangbang in my mouth. No, not the McGangbang because that would be indecent. I'm an innocent school girl.


Sobban.

Spicy Mussels. Me rikey some spicy sea gash.

Grilled Smelt. Great snack, eat them like friggin chips, just can't eat one.

KFC Wangz. My favorite wangz in ATL. A lil spicy, super crispy and juicy inside. The crust is the best part. Must have them on every visit.

Bulgogi. Simple comfort food with nice flavors. This a just a classic rice plate. It's just good.


Amura.

Pimm's Cup and Penicillin. Cocktails were well made, nice and strong. Tasty.

 Soft Shell Crab Roll. I see it, I order it. Boom. It was decent but not crave-worthy status.

This is their version of tapas. Yeah, that's what I said, tapas, imagine that, pseudo-Spanish cuisine here. Salmon tataki, tuna tataki, spicy tuna box roll and maguro sashimi. Nothing special in flavors but totally acceptable, if you were starving or eating sooshie for the first time.

The protein tapas sampler thinger. Filet tataki with enoki, meat flaps wrapped with asparagus, meat chunks on bamboo sticks and something or other in the lower fourth quadrant. Like with the fish plate, the meats were ok. It's no culinary bombshell but I didn't expect much from this place either after the demise of MF Sushi.


Ming's.

Nothing is better for a hangover than two bowls and a cup of tea. I swear, you won't shit your pants and no one will make you eat it out of a cup. HK style wonton noodle soup and congee with thousand year old egg and pork. Heaven, it's heaven.

Rice plate with meats... Roast pork and BBQ pork that will put you in a food coma within minutes. That's all she wrote and the fat lady just sung. I'm done, son. Snooze.


Oriental Pearl.

Their Dim Sum is still the most consistent in town. The gwailos can have that dump Golden House. Shumai, sticky rice and tripe... They ran out of har gow, can you believe that shit? Nope, I don't believe it either but whatever, there's still other tasty tidbits to be had to stuff your fat face.

Cheung Fun, shrimp and BBQ pork. Some of the best in town, the thin translucent rice flour skin is all you need to know about this classic dish.

Baby Squid. This shit came out steaming hot like a freshly laid dog poop. The smell, the texture, the sauce and the flavors would make me eat my dog's brown logs if it tasted as good as this dish.

Wu Gok. Fried taro dumpling. Not many places make it well, if you could even find it... But today's version was decent. It needed to be fluffier but the innards were spot on, though.

Whole Peking Duck. It came with the pancakes and all the trimmings to make the Chino fajitas. Don't ask for pics because my greasy fat fingaz were busy stuffing my fat face. Yeah, it was that good. Quack.

 Dry Fried Lobster. Lay off me, I'm starving! Go away, the pouch is at work. Pouch need lobsta brainz.

This looks like monkey brains but keep your up-chucks down because this was lightly fried tofu stuffed with shrimp bathe in a mushroom packed sauce. Total comfort food. Scoop a shitload in a bowl of rice and you're ready to rest in peace. Sign me up.


Hong Kong Harbor.

Sour Mustard Greens with Fried Tofu. A veggie dish that most people don't know about but it's the bomb. It's usually paired with shredded pork or beef but tofu is an option. I say stick with the proteins.

Beef Belly Wonton Noodle Soup and Salt & Pepper Shrimp. One of the best secret dishes that no one orders. Even with me exposing it to the public, no one gets it still. Awesome, more for me! Suckaz. The S&P shrimp is good as usual. Eat the heads motherfuckers, stop being a fruit basket tucking pussy. Requests for reach arounds denied.

I can't get enough of the beef belly wonton noodle soup... As you can see. Twice in 3 days.

Beef Chowfun... Still the best anywhere in town because none can be had in town! Get you some now.


The pouch is tapped out and tysies... Hope it doesn't get hibernation sickness from the self induced food coma. "I can't eat. Your appetite will return with time. Where am I? Jade Palace. Who are you? Someone who loves to feed you. Chowfun!"
Mebbe I need to just relax for a moment. But let's make sure you got a big bowl of pasta carbonite when I wake up just in case. Thanks in advance. XOXO  ...And that's the dry scallop sauce just in case you didn't know.