Melting Pouch

My pouch is like Ellis Island. It's the gateway for all edible walks of life that enter through the pearly gates of my bowels... 2, 4, even 3 legged creastures have entered my heavenly sanctuary up to 5 times a day or more. The volume that goes through the melting pouch is immeasurable. Hartsfield Airport ain't got shit on him. Let's profile what's coming and going up in this piece... Ok, maybe not the goings. Unless, it was real shitty (All pun intended)...

1 Kept.

Foie Two Ways. I inhaled this within 58.4 seconds. Move along, there's nothing to see or eat here anymore.

Wrecking Bar.

Rabbits Wings. I didn't know rabbits had wings but I don't really give a shit, I would eat the wings on a hamster if they had them. It's a cute idea, but it was mostly breading (it was nice and crispy, though) and semi-chewy bone-in rabbit meat which wasn't all that much fun to eat. It was worth a try.

Wreck Burger. A very decent burger, so decent that I would order it again. Spot on medium-rare temp and the flavors worked well together. The fries were kinda limp and a tad over salted but totally passable. Their Russian Imperial Stout is no joke, friggin dericious... As with their other specialty brews, especially the stouts. The menu is pretty decent unlike the Porter which I was at earlier and nothing on the menu there looked good. But their beer selection is what you go to the Porter for, then come here to eat. Do it, do it.

China Kitchen.

Xiao Long Bao. Pouch lurvs him some steaming hot soupy dumps... Who doesn't like a steaming hot soupy dump in their mouth, I know a couple of girls with a cup that do. Be careful of the squirts, I got a facial with one. Just missed my eyeball by that much, thank goodness.

Chong Qing Hot Pot.

Spicy Szechuan Fish. Giant spicy bowl full of fish chunks and napa cabbage for under $10. You can't go wrong with this, unlike my life. It's never as spicy as it looks (read: not spicy at all, color is all for show), so soak it up with the AYCE rice.

Spicy Tofu with Beef. Barely on the Scoville Unit scale, I mean like near zero. It was more peppery than spicy. Still a tasty dish.

Spicy Tofu with Fish. They screwed up and sent out the wrong dish but I got a taste of it before I took it back. Shit, maybe I shoulda have kept it, it was purdy tasty.

Pan American Bakery.

Cubano. Mejor en el mundo. Lo mejor, Geraldo. Lo mejor. 

Kimball House.

I could go on and on about how great the oysters are but bottomline: still the best oyster selection in all of Atlanta. Plain, simple and fresh. A couple of squirts from the eyedropper is all you need. I have eaten every single one of their oysters at least 4 times over, still not tired of them. Slurp.

I'm fat. So, I needed another tray of them mollusca baby gravy. So G U U D. Burp.

Highlander.

Hot Chicken. Still a great deal for the amount of grub but the pigeon was no hot chicken this time around. It was more like a baked leg quarter brushed with regular old hot sauce. The ones in the beginning were really decent with a nice dark semi-spicy coating. Bring that shit back. Don't die on me!

La Costilla Grill.

This chips and salsa looked fucking insane on the first impression. It's not your standard garbage tomato juice you find at El Azteca or whereever the fuck you hipsters nosh on authentic Mexican't grub these days, don't fucking say Uncle Julio's or else I will shit in your sombrero and jerk off in your Swirl, right now. C'mon, this place gives you four goddamn different salsas. Although, they are not the best salsas I have ever had, but for the effort... I am in, puta madres. Gringos will not be disappointed with this pregame filler.

Why do gringos come here and order fucking tacos? There's only one thing to order here and that is the Parrillada Regia... It's pretty tasty and they give you a shitload of grub on the cheap. Meat, guac, meat, tortillas, bacon, meat, soup, sausage, meat and meat. And this is for 2 personas? Fuck yeah, ese. Dame.

Bone Lick.

Rib Tips. Don't ask, don't tell. Just look at it. Consume if you dare. Tis was ok. Chewy comes to mind. Once is enough for a lifetime. Still in my pouch weeks later.

La Parilla.

I know, y'all are scratching your heads while I'm scratching my balls... How the fuck did I end up in here? Why would the pouch nosh here? Sometimes, I have to go ghetto Mexican't... But seriously, they had me on this giant 64 OZ'er beer special on Wednesdays and the clueless chicks that trough here are hot as fuck up in this piece. This was the brisket taco, chicken burrito and a beef chili relleno, numero something 69 or other. As you guessed it, it all tasted the same. I mean they should just serve everything in a bowl with tortillas on the side, what's the difference.

Now, I know how pigs in a slaughter house feels. Oink. I don't even know what this was... Even if I did, would it matter? Just put it in a bowl and flush. Ok, why is this place so goddamn popular on Howell Mill? Just look around and you'll know why... I guess I just answered my own question. Would I come back here? Possibly, if there's the promise of free cerveza and chocha.


Next stop, NYC for some good Eyetalian grub... No wonder there are so many paisanos named Tony, when they got on the boat, they were given a tag that said "To: NY". Boomcha.