UMI - Omakase Revisit

If you're gonna splurge and eat here... There's only one way to do it. Fuck the menu and do the...

ITO-KASE.

I'm not even gonna do a play by play... I'll let the pictures speak for themselves. It's total food beat off material.

We had a 6 top and all did the omakase with a bunch of cocktails by Andy Minchow, wine and sake... Chalked up almost 2 large on this meal. This place ain't cheap.

Worth the high price tag?

Oh,yeah.


3050 Peachtree Rd NE
Atlanta, GA 30305
(404) 841-0040
http://umiatlanta.com/

Sobban

Stopped by for a nice preview of the menu created by no other than the guys from Heirloom Market & BBQ. But this new place is not another BBQ joint, it's a Korean Southern Diner. No, it's not some fusion hybrid of Korean and Southern cuisine. It's a Korean diner that's in the south. The menu is mostly Korean but it is also very playful with a nice mix of different ingredients that makes an appearance in a lot of dishes which may surprise you. These guys don't mess around, they love what they do and they do it well. Enough talk, let's go to the videotape...

Garden. Local lettuce, rice crouton, sesame leaf ranch. The rice croutons made this dish.

Lotus Root. Flat chives, garden salad, Uja dressing. Lotus root prepared 3 ways, not too shabby.

Kimchi Haemul Jun. Georgia shrimp, market fish, squid. Kimchi pancake with a nice heaping of fried seafood. What's not to love here.

Gogi Goon Mandu. Ground local beef, kimchi, tofu. Fresh made mandu, not that crappy frozen stuff you get at other joints.

Sobban Garden Kalguksu. Shitake soy broth, tempura vegetable. One look at this and you know it will be tasty. The hand cut noodles was the hidden star in this dish.

Our Surf n Turf. Grilled LA style short rib, tempura GA shrimp, kimchi sauce. Incredibly tender rib and wicked crispy seasoned shrimp. Very nice.

Braised Cod. Daikon, watercress, rice crispy. This cod was amazing, so friggin good. Get it.

Pork Chop Donkatsu. Fresh panko, house pickles, peach hot mustard sauce. Look at the size of this thing, it's like Mexico. So crispy and tasty.

Georgia Bingsu. Peach ice cream, Korean snacks, scupperdine jam, candied pecan. The shaved ice is so good with the ice cream, who knew it would?

Green Tea Mousse. Vanilla wafers, macha, Asian pear compote, pomegranite.


The regular menu will have a bunch of other tasty sounding stuff like smoked pork belly bossam, bibimbob, and beef bulgogi roll... But those got nothing on the Korean fried chicken! Can't wait for some KFC action intown without the drive to OTP. They also have a short but very nice beer (Hitachino Nest!), sake and Korean wine list.

I think they will do pretty well based on what I have sampled... Which was everything on their soft opening menu. It's nice to have a fun and playful Korean joint so close to town. I also love how this was an old Arby's, the building is very unique and fun to eat in. Plus, they have ample parking, too!


1788 Clairmont Rd.
Decatur, GA 30033
678-705-4233
https://www.facebook.com/humblemeal

Bantam Pub

Another newcomer in the pocketpub arena over there in never never where? land...I've been here a couple times and I like the spot. I like how it is no where near anything else. Kinda like a red-headed stepchild placed in a closet. It's a small joint inside with a decent patio outside. It's a chill spot to grab a drink and bite without any hipsters or the Buckhead army annoying the shit outta ya. The cocktails need work, beer list is decent and the menu is at a starting point hoping to evolve. But it's pretty much a "gastro pub" (no! not that word again!). Yep, how else you're gonna now describe this international fare on this small menu. I don't mind "international fare" but just prep and execute it properly, is that so much to ask? So... Let's see what's up in this piece.

Burger. Pretty much a standard issue burger. Decent hand cut fries but needs a minute or two more in the fryer. Asked for medium rare temp on the patty, got medium +... But they just opened so I won't bust their balls too much. Then I look over to the next table and their burgers were a perfect medium-rare. Fucked again. They also have a lamb burger which they swear "it's to die for"... Yep, next time, Ke-mo sah-bee.

Fried Eggplant. Cute but not really all that for a couple of sticks that were a bit over fried when the fries shoulda been. The sauce was much better balanced with less herbs than the rice balls. Oh, look, sprinkled chopped parsley all over the plate, how passé.

Hanger Steak and Rice Balls. Consistency is key to a good menu... The hanger steak presentation looked like they scooped it out of a pot for me while another guy's steak was presented beautifully. Meat was cooked mid-rare as it should. The sliced taters were under fried and kinda raw in the middle, edible but definitely needs attention. The rice balls (arancini) were fine and pretty tasty but the sauce was way over-herbed, is that even a word? Who knows but the oregano just over powered the sauce. Every time you dredge some sauce with your balls and take a bite, it's like ramming your face into a Chia Pet, Herd edition. Both dishes have promise, it just need some cleaning up... Speaking of which, stop it with the chopped parsley all over the plate. Even, Emeril has stop doing that shit. Bam.

Scallops. Seaweed and Asian Sauce... OK, the whole Asian riff is kinda cheesy. I get the Japanese wakame seaweed salad but WTF is an Asian sauce? Is that like a Mexican sauce or American sauce? Perhaps a German sauce... Wait, I don't want to taste a German sauce, you know how dirty those Germans are. The only Asian sauce I know is the baby gravy I make in my pants. When you see $9 for scallops, you kinda get suckered in to it... Well, OK, I got suckered in to it. The scallops were cooked properly but the entire presentation and set up of this dish is just awful. Why put the wakame on top of the scallops? It looks like a giant Lego head with a terrible weave. It also needs some type of starch because it looks so incomplete to me. And there they go again with the 1985 chopped parsley stunt. I'm still trying to figure out what an Asian sauce is... And why did I swallow it.

This place should do fairly well in this area of nothing. With time and a little hard work, the drinks and menu should and will get better. I'm looking forward to hanging out more at this little pub that could. But here's a little advice, stop with all the fucking parsley! It's making my balls itch.

737 Ralph McGill Blvd
Atlanta, GA 30312 

(404) 223-1500

 

 

 

Garbage Pouch Kid

Oh, nooo, you didn't... Oh, yes, I did. Hell to da motherfuckin' yeah, boooyee. Just admit it, you want me to eat this slop... Just to hear me bitch about it and tear them and myself a new asshole. OK, fuckers, I do this shit once a year for my one fan... And I did this all in one shitting, err, I mean sitting. If you want to continue reading, make sure you have a barf bag or dumpster at the ready...

The Wendy's pretzel burger. You won't find this stud of a burger at Mendy's, even though Bania may tell Jerry that it's the best, the best, Jerry. I rather have the salmon there, myself. But let's get back to this beefy creasture that has been all the rave with Wendy's shareholders and board members. So, what does the eating public think about this newfangled abhorrence? Who the fuck knows but the pouch will tell ya that it wasn't a total failure.

Unsheathing the beast. The pretzel bun is such a friggin gimmick if there ever was one. But I do applaud them for having the balls to actually come up with a decent bun that closely resembles a pretzel. It's kinda hard, a bit chewy and the only thing missing was pretzel salt on top of it. In other words, it was kinda of bland. But fear not, there's a shitload of sauce, grease and jizz within it to give it that proper viscosity to lube your throat to slide that girthy meat down ever so effortlessly. It's like swallowing a rainbow smeared by an unicorn's magical glands...followed by milk chocolatey gold coins you get for Hanukkah. Wait, that was just a dream I had last night... Nevermind.

Under da hood. The ingredients are not bad, I mean, look at it... It's got red onions, a slice of tomato, green lettuce, bacon, cheese and some mystery sauce. Wendy's claim it is a sweet & smoky honey mustard sauce. To me it was more of a cross between a donkey and a honey badger sauce. There was just too much of it. Just scrape it off with a napkin or with your friend's shirt. The 1/4 lb. single patty (you can get a double but that's just overkill) was well  formed at the factory, kinda juicy and held together well under all that mess stress. The bottom bun was more chewy than the top but I guess that's what happens when it's been sitting in some heat compartment all day. Was it terrible? No. But I would never get it again. It's a gimmick and gimmicks only have me at hello... Once. But don't fret, the pretzel burger alone did not complete me... Without the chili cheese fries. 

Chili cheese fwies. Two words come to mind: Holy Shitballs. I don't even know if this is edible. It looks like Publix plastic bags melting on a Duraflame log. I had a couple bites of it and that completed me... For the next century. Just say no to this... And say yes to drugs. Believe me, you'll need them afterward. Preferably, a couple of 8 balls.


Next up... The dreaded Toxic Hell Doritos Locos Tacos. Available in 3 artificial flavors... Now, with molecules!
Holy shit, Jesus, why the fuck am I doing this, again? There is just something unholy with the colors of these hatchet wounds. Sometimes you just gotta grab the pitbull by the balls and dive in and munch on that muff and pray to Tanuki's giant sack for a safe journey home... YOLO.

It's like the 3 little piglets... Fiery, Cool Ranch and Nacho Cheese. If you eat all three, you can huff and puff and blow any building down with one pinch of your arse.

Look, there is nothing good to say about these abominations. The meat puree is worse than low rent gerbil food. If the powdery taco shells came in sealed envelopes, they would be sent directly to the CDC for anthrax testing. I don't even know if the cheese is real, let alone the discolored lettuce which I don't think they came from any type of fertilized ground. Probably growing on the backs of mutant chickens being processed in China. I'm baffled by their salsas packets, pretty much flavorless with a hint of rusty toilet water. Seriously, how the fuck did they managed to sell like 5 billion of them to the masses? Ah, I think I just answered my own question. But I must admit, these fuckers know what they're doing... When you're portrayed as a fancy restaurant in Demolition Man, that's when you have pulled the wool over everybody's eyes... Or they could be blind. Bravo. 


My advice to y'all. Do not try this at home... Because you definitely do not want to clean up the aftermath. Y'all think Fukushima was bad? One word: Trainspotting. Go to a neighbor's house.

I had some Arby's chicken tenders and curly fries, too... But they were edible. No need to report.

I have to go now... No, really, right now... Flush.

Himalayan Spice

This little strip mall is full of ethnic grubbery. Well, mostly Ethiopian cuisine but this place has been around for a bit. Strangely, I never had the urge to cross this off my list. May be a pouch instinct thing but I needed to know if I was missing something that I shouldn't be. Most of time, I head straight for Popeyes with my blinders on and ignoring everything else when it comes to fried cheekan. So, after walking in and drinking in the atmosphere for a brief moment, I knew that this place would be either a hit or miss. It had all the proper FOB accoutrements, from the giant gaudy out-of-place bar that no one uses, the weird seating setup to the cheesy couches (aka lounge) on the side with the window view. Even the staff was on point with the fobbery... They looked like they just got dropped off the boat. All this head nodding is making sea sick. Let's get to the chow.

Kibble & Bits freebie... For a reason. You know what they say, corn never gets digested. Recycling is not always a good thing.

Chicken Choila. Server tells me that this dish was super spicy and a common snack with the locals to go with beer and watching sports or some shit like that. He had me at super spicy. I thought it would be some awesome authentic kick-my-taint kinda dish but this is what I got... A luke warm (temp wise) hacked up pieces of dried out pre-cooked cheekan mixed with stuff they found leftover from other plates. WTF is this garbage? It was neither spicy nor appetizing. These Nepalese people would be better off eating at Pine Street soup kitchen... And it's free.

Chau-Chau Noodles.This is their famous chau-chau noods? C'mon, who are you kidding here? It was goddamn shitty mongolian style stir fry but with thin spaghetti from a box. Fuck me, thin spaghetti... Like people are fucking idiots. Wait, I take that back. So, I ask this waitress who barely knew English let alone her name... "Is this box spaghetti?". She nods her head, smiles and proceeds to get me a take out box. Holy shit, the pouch just got sucker punched! Well played, senorita. I like your style.

MoMo.They should just rename this to "NoNo". First off, I asked them to steam these alpaca droppings, but instead they decided they want it their way like at Burger King and pan fried them. These dumps were so bland and boring, I almost fell asleep halfway into the first bite. These were not MoMo's, not even close. These wear frozen dumplings from the Asian market. And that slice of cucumber and carrot is there for....? My table was a little wobbly so I used the rock hard carrot as a wedge thinger... Shit was spot on!

Garlic Naan. Not terrible but one side was barely flame kissed, it was more like ass cheek wiped. It needed more garlic and more heat. It was a little too doughy and chewy. Yeah, they actually charge for this Bombay diaper.

Baigan Bharta. Fire roasted eggplant cooked with tomato and onion sauce. What do you pair the Bombay diaper with... But of course with some Delhi diarrhea! Ok, ok, I'm just fucking around... This was pretty good, though. But anything would be good after the sub-par Nepali grub I have sampled.

Ok, this was just a small sampling but it doesn't take a genius to realize that the Nepalese side of the menu was pretty much garbage but their Indian side of the menu read much better... I have not written this place off yet. Not until I have tried the Napali thali and Indian vittles. Stay tuned for the update! Jesus, I sound like this blog actually has an audience... Yeah, an audience of Harijans and crickets.


2773 Clairmont Rd
Atlanta, GA 30329
(404) 549-7602

http://home.himalayanspiceatlanta.com/Menu.html

1Kept Revisit

I was pleasantly surprised by all the meals I have had here in the past... So, it's about time to check on them again. It's been awhile since I last visited, so, let's see what's new here.

Deviled Quail Eggs, bacon jam, argula, lemon vinaigrette. Always a party favor favorite with the crowd. These go down way too fast and easy. Oink.

Warm Kale Salad, chorizo, quinoa, garlic. Might be one of the handful of salads that I actually enjoy eating but the kale needed to be wilted a bit more. It was too crunchy... But that's what ruffage is I suppose. Hell, they got that great wood burning oven, just shove it in there for like 10 seconds and boom.

Bacon, Mushroom, Kielbasa, smoked provolone, sweet tomato sauce. Oh yeah, done and done. Gobbled the shit outta this. Ah, you would too if you had this in your piehole.

Duck Prosciutto, sweet grilled peach chutney, serrano peppers, gorgonzola. Great idea for a flatbread but the gorgonzola was over powering the rest of the ingredients. I really like gorgonzola but lighten it up a bit and it would be great because the duck prosciutto is what I want to shine the most.

Short Rib Risotto, wild mushrooms, carrots, crispy shallots. I don't remember much of this dish because I inhaled this... It was that tasty or maybe I was just hungry. Get it.

Grilled Filet of Ribeye, flash fried herb scalloped potato slices, roasted baby onion bulbs, cabernet sauce. Ribeye cooked as expected, mid rare... Charred nicely outside and juicy tender inside. Cab sauce was nice but a tad too reduced. The scalloped potato were the weak item on this dish, they were a little greasy and limp and needed seasoning. But the protein is the real star of the dish so the taters were just a side note.

Seared Scallops, corn risotto, sweet truffle corn puree, wild mushrooms. One of the best dishes here. Scallop seared perfectly on the outside and toothy tender inside. The corn risotto was great as the first time I had it. Just a great simple flavorful dish. Get it.

Schnitzel, Pink Potato Gnocchi, caramelized onion cream, braised cabbage, crispy guanciale. I love schnitzel and this didn't disappoint. Perfectly fried and a very hefty portion great for sharing. The only thing it needed more was the pink potato gnocchi because there were like 3 bites of it... C'mon, stop teasing me.

Bucatini, green peas, bacon, 3 minute egg yolk, lomo chip cream sauce. A cute play off the favorite carbonara. Pasta was spot on, al dente minus, unbroken egg yolk always a necessary liaison to bind the entire dish together. Loved this dish, they need to up the portion size because I'm a fat fuck and ate the entire thing in 4 bites and licked the plate clean.

Then the desserts came... As everyone knows, I'm not a sweet tooth kinda person but I had a couple bites of each. All were sweet like how desserts should be... And pretty tasty as evident by the emptied dishes.

Looks like a mini edible Noah's ark with tasty creastures on board. Jack ain't got shit on this, I'm the king of the world!

Who wants some of this sweet orgy in their mouth? This is my kinda crap in a bowl... Or is that 2 craps and 1 bowl? Hmmm...

More mouth sex in a bowl... Slurp.


All my experiences here were very consistent and executed well... And it hasn't changed. This is a good reliable joint if you want good grub and cocktails and not have to worry about it.
Go now.

2293 Peachtree Rd NE
Atlanta, GA 30309
(404) 254-1973
http://1kept.com/