Roy Rogers Fried Chicken

The last time I had Roy Rogers' fwied cheekan was back in the late 1900's... Those glorious days of yore in the 80's were full of neon, pastels, tight rolled jeans, leotards, giant shoulder pads, Aquanet, big hair and mullets lived in harmony... And no one had a fucking care in the world. Fast food chains were dominating the food culture and fried chicken was on fire. NYC didn't have Popeyes back then. The national chain, KFC, was garbage. But there was the NYC version of KFC... Kennedy Fried Chicken. Those hole in the wall mothercluckers sold everything on their menu except sushi. But their fried chicken was only good when you were drunk, on drugs or desperate like a skank jonesing for a hit in the lower east side. Great fried chicken in NYC was harder to find than a 8-ball of crack. Then I discovered some of the best fried chicken for that time in the least likely of places... At a fast food roast beef joint named Roy Rogers. This chain was exploding all over New York and New Jersey. Holy shit, I was hook, line and sinker after the first bite of that crispy juicy cheekan. It was instant crack for me... I was wigging out like that chickenhead, Pookie, from New Jack City. And Roy Rogers was now my brother's keeper and feeder... Yippee-ki-yay, motherfuckers! Yo, man, wanna buy a turkey?

I was in Jersey visiting family and hanging out at the beach with the Sitch in Seaside Heights and found a Roy Rogers in Toms River. I knew I had to stop in for some cheekan and damn, that dericious aroma is making me smack my chicken lips, I can't wait any longer... Let's get right to it.

This is the type of box I would eat out on a daily basis... One leg behind each ear.

Before Popeyes came out with their Cajun Sparkle seasoning... Roy Rogers dusted their cheekan in crack.

Fuck me, these aren't the prices that I remembered back in the 80's... A leg, thigh and biscuit for almost $6... Goddamn, Biden inflation. My childhood memories better come crashing back in on the first bite... And it better make me wet my pants like I used to. Look at that crust. Real flaky and not too thick... Kinda like Popeyes. The pieces are normal size unlike the GMO pieces at Kennedy Fried Chicken. Which I have always suspected they were from drugged up zombie pigeons from Washington Square Park... The legs always had track marks. Let's go with the thigh first... Great crust, crispy and thin and gave that nice crunch when you bite into it. The meat was flavorful and juicy. Oh, man, just as I remembered with that crack-like seasoning. Sorry, Nancy, I just can't say no to this addictive fowl. There was nothing left of the thigh except the bones which looked like a dead rat behind the fridge from 1954. The leg was smaller and I ate that bitch like in 3 bites. The biscuit was surprisingly good, not all hard and dried up. It was buttery and moist. Shit, I shoulda made a little chicken biscuit with it. I just realized that I didn't use any hot sauce on this chicken... I ate that shit so fast.

Damn, do I miss this place. They need to open a few down in the south, especially, in the ATL. I don't care if it's in the ghetto, I will risk life and limb for it. But like with In-N-Out Burger, it is just too far outside their market. Their fwied cheekan is still legit.

Pump pump... Squirt.

Chicken Sandwich Franchise Wars

Everybody already knows that Taco Bell will be the only survivor of the franchise wars of 2032... But Taco Bell in the present day has yet to come up with a chicken sandwich to compete in the chicken wars of 2021. Yeah yeah, they got some bullshit called the "Crispy Chicken Sandwich Taco", but c'mon, man! that's not a real chicken sandwich, that's just neanderthal thinking. Maybe Taco Bell needs to raise taxes on it's customer base for infrastructure to build a proper cheekan sando to compete with the global franchises... Or maybe Taco Bell should shut da fuck up and stick to their Alpo grade tacos and leave the cheekan sandos to the cheekan experts... Like this fat fuck.

Luckily, for mankind, the Pouch has waged it's own battle on the franchises that do have a cheekan soldier in this war... Oh, sweet baby Jesus, bless my sphincter for what's to come into my bowels.

We got a lot of cheekan shit to eat, so, let's get to the contenders... Popeyes, KFC, McDonald's, Church's, Zaxby's. I ain't including Chick-Fil-A just because they have been doing this shit for years and every mook knows what that shit tastes like. They are like the neutral Swiss of this fowl war.

Bags of cheekanheads...

First up, Popeyes, KFC and Mickey Shit's...

POPEYES Spicy Chicken Sandwich.

The original "chicken sando"... Looks as glorious as when it was first introduced... But some may say the chicken filet is a bit smaller.

Under the hood, only one goddamn pickle and that wasn't even a full sized pickle... Meh. 

But look at that breasteses... Motorboat, anyone? Why is the Popeyes chicken sando so beloved and crave-worthy? Well, they use a buttery brioche bun that cradles that amazing crispy crust and the white meat is juicy and larger than most other sandos. Sometimes even double the size. It's just a damn good sando for $4. And always get the spicy.

KFC New Chicken Sandwich.

They say it's an "extra crispy filet with premium pickles, mayo, on a brioche-style bun"... I don't see no prem pickles or mayo...

Not a fucking pickle in sight... And these fucking mooks demand $15/hr? I fucking demand you make me a fucking complete sando that I paid full price for. But the filet does hang over the bun.

Even minus the pickles, this $4 cheekan sando still looks pretty promising... The bun is good and the piece of chicken looks pretty sizeable and a decent crust around the edges. It's a good chicken sando but definitely not as good as Popeyes. May if there were pickles in it, it may have made a difference but the spicy "sauce" is a joke. I had to squirt some Frank's RedHot to give it some kick.

MCDONALD'S Spicy Crispy Chicken Sandwich.

Doesn't look terrible with the top sliced buttered potato roll but for about $4 this sando will never be able to compete with Popeye's or KFC's much larger chicken sandwich. It's a rather thin piece of chicken, almost looks processed like the $1 McChicken. But they did put pickles on it and I don't see anything spicy about it. There were a few "spicy pepper sauce" looking streaks on the bun but barely...

Well, there are 3 pickles on this barely covering the bun chicken patty. The coating on the chicken can't even be considered a crust. It's like they dropped it in the sand and decided to cook it... Wait, did they put a sandpaper block in the microwave by mistake? There's no fucking way this was even semi-in-store prepared. They definitely didn't fry this in-store... Totally nuked it straight in the vac-bag.

Looks so appetizing doesn't it? You see how it's slanted... That's because they used it as a wheel chock to keep the warm box from wheeling down the uneven floor, you can still see the treads on the bun. Now, it's all downhill from the first bite to the last... That's if you can or want to finish this barely crispy, bland, non-spicy and dried out chewy ass chicken patty. This chicken sando SUCKS ASS.

MCDONALD'S Regular Chicken Sandwich.

Why the fuck did you get two of these deplorable low rent cheekan sandos, Pouch? Because I'm a fat slob and had a fucking BOGO coupon and I'm still trying to convince myself that I got a deal for $2 a sando. Seriously, it's like the Matrix deja vu all over again... Is this a fucking joke for almost $4? And the douche who made this is also demanding $15/hr as well? A gerbil could have made this... I know it requires hours of training to put a microwaved processed chicken patty between two buns and shove it into a bag. It looked dry as hell and I don't see any pickles peeking out nor any type of dressing as lubricant to get this 40 grit patty down.

Look at this pathetic loser... No pickles and grounded up eyetalian breading without the Italian seasonings as a crust on this thin factory pressed chicken. I'm still fucking pissed about the missing pickles.

Holy fuck, even this sando is frowning because it is sad as fuck... It's so unloved that even a red-headed stepchild laughs at it. As with the spicy version, the sandpaper patty is barely crispy and dried out... It's like chewing on a compacted saw dust puck that was flame kissed with a Bic lighter. I wouldn't even use the bun to wipe my ass... With my luck, my finger will prolly go right through the bun and right into my exithole... Shit, I'm trying to free brown Willy, not plug it in. I'm so fucking over this shitwich. I swear, their $1 McChicken is 20 times better than this sad sack of crap.

CHURCH'S Spicy Chicken Sandwich.

I haven't been to a Church's in years and I didn't even know they were even in the fight... But they got a cheekan sando and this fat fuck ain't gonna say no. Nice packaging and they give you a little surprise... What could it be... Maybe cheekan hearts, gizzards or uterus? Now, I'm getting excited...

This is a very well prepared and good looking chicken sando. The cross-cut and honey-butter brushed toasted brioche bun was not crushed. The crust on the chicken looked flakey and not too thick. There were pickles peeking out and the surprise was a pickled jalapeno which they call the Jalapeno Squeeze because you are supposed to squeeze the jalapeno until it breaks open and sprinkle the juice on the chicken before you eat it for that extra kick to your throat nads.

They guarantee three pickles on each sando and those two half retarded ones in the back counts as one I guess... But still impressive given the rest of the sandos tested were missing pickles or only had one. The spicy is just a spicy mayo they squirt on both buns. 

It's not a thick piece of chicken but it was a good size piece that hung over on both sides of the bun. One bite and I could not believe this was from a low rent Church's... This was a goddam good chicken sandwich. The brioche bun was soft and forgiving yet held everything together well. No sogginess even after the ride home. The flaky crust was exactly that, crispy and not too thick. The chicken itself was moist and tender and the spicy mayo gave it just enough flavor to make you know it was the spicy version. I can't believe it but this was such a sleeper hit and it doesn't get enough credit or coverage on how good it was. The low rent Church's ghetto rep has redeemed themselves. Fuck me, I'm craving another... How is this possible? Unpossible!

ZAXBY'S Signature Chicken Sandwich.

Zaxby's is all about chicken tenders but they also got dragged into the chicken wars... But their sandos are the most expensive at $5 a piece. And this lardass ain't gonna cry about an extra dollar during this epic battle.

Unwrapped: Zax Sauce and Spicy Zax Sauce.

ZAXBY'S Spicy Chicken Sandwich.

Big piece of chicken that covers the bun with ease... I see the spicy Zax sauce but where the fuck are the pickles, bro? 

Ahhh, check under the skirt and there are the nads. 3 is the magic number with all the chicken sandos. They use a buttery toasted potato bun and you can see a little browning on the edges of the bun. But does it pass the smell test? 

Fuck yeah it does... It's a sizeable piece of chicken like Popeyes. Thick meat inside and thin crispy crust outside. Damn, everything on this sando worked together so well. 

ZAXBY'S Regular Chicken Sandwich.

Sweet baby Jesus, the filet totally dominated the bun. Kinda reminds me of the world famous Chic*A*Loes cheekan sando in the ghetto of South Atlanta. This is giving me a bit of a blood flow going... Squirt. 

True to form they included the 3 pickles along with a few squirts of Zax sauce. Shit, they deserve $15/hr here just for getting this shit together right.

Look at that joker smile... Unlike the MCD's sad cheekan frown. This sando is so happy that I'm about to eat him. But my mind was in the gutter and I kinda want to take it into a dark closet and violate it first. Jesus, Pouch... You sicko! This bird is dead, you can't choke the chicken anymore... That's what she said. This regular Zax sando didn't taste much different than the spicy Zax. Both were real tasty.

Here's the Chicken Lip's verdict...

1. Popeyes

2. Tie: Zaxby's and Church's

3. KFC

4. McDonald's... Fuck that bullshit...They should be ashamed to even pretend it was a chicken sando. Just replace it with the McRib in the Chicken Sandwich wrapper.

I also had the chicken sandos from Wendy's, BK and Culver's but they all sucked pretty bad and forgettable, worse than MCD's.. So, I didn't include them. I wished there was a Jollibee in this one horse town because their chicken sando looked pretty damn good.

No one is gonna give a shit about the chicken wars in about a decade because Taco Bell will have decimated all the other franchises. But I'm still confused as fuck on how to use the Three Seashells...  So, I had to resort to using toilet paper I found in the museum, yeah, that old relic from the neanderthal period. C'mon, man! 

Burp Burp Flush.

Tum Pok Pok

A few years ago, the lowly street food was introduced to this one horse town via the so-called Food Truck movement... And what a fucking debacle that was. Can the city of Atlanta and the elected knuckleheads that the pedestrian public voted in be anymore useless and clueless to the whole concept of a food truck? They put in so many restrictions on what a food truck can and cannot do. These things have an engine and wheels for a reason... So, they can go to where the people are. Not the other way around. It's such a simple goddamn concept: Food trucks come to you, you don't go to a fucking food truck park. It's like bringing your broken toilet to a plumber... Shit, I have broken a toilet or ten in my days. Don't ask, don't tell, bro... The explosive IBS may had something to do with bad street food.

So, I have been watching this place come to life every time I go to the newest Best BBQ a couple doors down. This semi-curse space has failed a bunch of gimmicky Vietnamese/fusion concepts over the years... Oh, let me count the ways... The ones that come to mind are Kajun Crab, WOW Pho & Grill, GAO... There were prolly a couple other shitholes that occupied this space for a brief time but that is neither here nor there. Now, a couple of new suckaz, err, players have decided they want to try to exorcise this hellhole of the previous failures and curses... Can a Thai street grub concept make it here? We shall see... Let's go take a first look..    

The space has been totally made over with most of the decor imported from Thailand. It's very bright and colorful which makes it an entertaining and comfortable place that you want to be at. It's just fun, period. It also makes you kinda feel like you're in Thailand with the friendly staff and ex-pats eating in there. They got the look down but what about the street food menu... Let's check out a few classic dishes before the Pouch invest more time, money and emotion into this place. 

Neau Sa-Wan, Thai style beef jerky, $9. This was a no brainer... Gotta get the Thai beef jerky every time you see it on the menu. It looked great when it come out to the table and it smelled good, too... The spices and the little char were spot-on, but some pieces were too gristly and you chew and chew and chew and then spit it out... I thought about just swallowing it like how I was trained to do but I needed the Pouch space for the rest of the dishes to be had. It's a classic street food but they may need to use a little quality control on the pieces they select... But I will prolly still order it again next time like the fat Pavlovian dog that I am.

Som Tum Thai, Thai style papaya salad, $9. They got a Som Tum Pla Lah with fermented fish sauce which sounded awesome but I wanted to try the classic first... They also have a Som Tum Tard which is basically a sampler platter that looked like a perfect all-in-one meal for a Ra-Tard like me. Let's get back to this classic somtum... Looks great with the vibrant colors across the entire plate, the only thing missing was the dried shrimp. I tossed this Thai salad for like 3 minzies (that's usually how long I can last) to coat everything with the gash juices on the bottom to get the full flavor in each bite... And the verdict is... A very tasty papaya salad that can compete with the best of them in this one horse town. I wouldn't say no to a bit more fish sauce but that's just me because I like big smelly flavors and make strangers smell my fingaz. It's not spicy on the first couple of bites but it does build up and the tingles start to pop in your facehole. This is a really tasty papaya salad and it's hard enough to find any Thai joints that even have a decent somtum on their menu. For the Tards that think this was not fishy or stinky enough, just ask them for some extra high octane ladyboy snatch sauce on the side. For me, I will be definitely getting the fermented fish sauce one next time... Extra funky, pweez.

Gai Yang, Thai style marinated quarter chicken with sweet chili sauce, $9. Someone say cheekan? Thai cheekan?? Fuck yeah, bro, just order it... Y'all know I can't resist dark meat. When it came out, I was a bit disappointed with the missing skin a la bris... Was this Kosher? Did the rabbi in the back snip a little too much off on this hooded demon? C'mon, Hebrah, y'all know the flappy skin is one of the best parts... That's what she said. But after I took a bite of their flavorful, ultra tender and moist cheekan, I gave them a pass on the missing skin. This cheekan quarter was really tasty but the chili sauce was weak. L'Chaim!

Pad Thai, rice noodle, tamarind sauce, bean sprouts, scallion, peanuts, $12.  Shit, you can not NOT order this at a supposedly authentic Thai street food joint... This manly noodle dish is a must, a given on any visit or else get the fuck outta here, katheoy... Mix all that shit up well but it still needed a couple more lime wedges for that extra sweet acidity. The rice noodles were toothy, well seasoned with the tamarind sauce and just a very classic national dish example... It was spot on. You don't even need any protein in there, seriously.

Green Curry with beef, basil, bamboo shoot, green bean, Thai eggplant, $14. I fucking love green curry... I got it so many times when I was in Thailand that my chicken lips were turning green and my bunghole was red like those street monkeys... I have seen more shitholes in the floor aka squat toilets than I really needed to on this trip. But this version was lacking in flavor, richness and complexity... It was watery like from a pond full of algae. I told one of the dudes that it was not spicy at all and he came back with 4 jars of assorted seasoned/pickled chili peppers... I nearly dumped the entire jar of green Thai chili and jalapeno in this bowl and it still wasn't spicy enough. What a disappointment... I took it home and whipped up some of my green curry paste and added it to this and what a difference it made, it was edible. I was hoping this dish would bring me back to Thailand but the only thing that it reminded me of was the nasty squat toilets. The only plus in this bowl was the Thai eggplant. Splat. 

I like this joint. It's fun. The street grub is a bit on the pricey side but the flavors and taste of the dishes sampled hit the right notes and I would definitely come back and sample the rest of the menu... Fuck the curry, though... Now, I'm going to cry myself to sleep... Yet again.

5000 Buford Hwy NE

Suite A112

Chamblee, GA 30341

https://tumpokpok.com/

Woodward And Park

The owners' original plan was to make this joint into a fine dining resto with Robert Phalen... Did they not get the memo? Fine dining is dead, bro... And who the fuck wants to go to Memorial Drive for fine dining? Only mooks who want to get mugged afterwards that's who. That strip is not exactly a destination spot. Thank newborn 8 lbs 6oz baby Jesus that Phalen decided to focus on his wonderful joint, One Eared Stag, instead... But sadly, it turns out that he's closing OES, now. That decision probably saved this places' ass... Open your eyes and look around this area... Yeah, it's being developed and gentrified like a mofo but that doesn't mean a fine dining destination will do well here. It's like dressing up to go to East Point for tacos... Ok, I would dress up for the world famous Chic-A-Loes' cheekan sando, but that's the only exception. I mean who goes to East Point unless it's under gun point. 

Located in the Larkin on Memorial mixed-use center, this new comer joins a handful of other restos- Firepit Pizza (I can't believe this place is still open, maybe they revamped the menu?), Full Commission, Ramen Station and I'll put Grant Park Market on this list as well with their cool counter service. But let's focus on this new joint since I was curious about the very approachable and diverse hand picked menu. It's a mix of different flavors from around the world- A little Japanese, a little Korean, a little Polish, a little Southern, a little American and a little rock and roll. It's not a big menu by any means which could mean they care about quality over quantity and not mass producing the same generic dishes like everywhere else. There's some gimmicky dishes like the okonomiyaki, tempura avocado and Korean pork philly... But it ain't gonna hurt my feelings because they have bone marrow on the menu. The Pouch's instincts are usually correct and I'm getting a warm and fuzzy feeling with this place or was that my hand down my pants, again... Shit, that reminds me, I need to manscape, STAT. Shit, I'm like an Alaskan Bush People or is that Atlantan Bush People. Damn Covid and the whole work from home gig for the last year really makes you forget to do a lot personal upkeep... Maybe that urban myth about the origins of hairy palms ain't a myth afterall, squirt.

Let's take a first look... I love the space and I love the cozy bar. It's a simple, clean and modern space. They call it "a casual but elegant neighborhood bistro with a seasonal menu"... I concur. The staff was on point, greeting people coming through the doors within seconds and sitting people quickly and orderly. Hell, I don't want to jinx it, so, let's get right to it... Just stick with the classics, Pouch... Don't fuck around and screw this up...

Roasted Bone Marrow, chimichurri, sourdough, pickled shallots, $12. I haven't had bone marrow in such a long time (besides making it at home but it's hard to find the length sliced bone marrow) and this was just a treat. They call it the "canoe-cut" marrow bones from the Stone Mountain Cattle Co. located in Dublin, GA which is nowhere near Stone Mountain... But who knew there was one. The marrow was spot-on with just the right amount of spreadable gelatinous gooey savory bone snot that paired well with the sour dough. And if you like to make it last like I do, they will accommodate you with more bread. Love it.

Tempura Avocado, sweet Thai chili sauce, cilantro, sesame, $9. Shit, don't blame me... I didn't order it but I will eat it. Yes, it's gimmicky as hell but I gotta admit it is a fun dish even if the presentation is like a mom putting pizza rolls on a plate for a 5 year old... If they put this on toast, the roundeyes will eat the shit outta this and pay $20 for it... Not that they don't already.

Burrata, herb oil, porcini condiment, sourdough, $10. Ok, I gotta admit that spreading some of this vibrant burrata on top of the bone marrow is sacrilegious but this fat turd don't give a fuck because it tasted fucking amazing. Look, it all goes to the same place... But have y'all ever heard of anyone complaining about the cheese on a Filet-O-Fish? Yeah, didn't think so motherfuckers. This burrata was gorgeous, the vibrant green herb oil and the earthy porcini condiment underneath worked together perfectly and naturally. It just tasted so clean and healthy... But I ain't getting any skinnier.

Pierogi, 48 hour brisket, caramelized onion and potato; braised cabbage, farmers cheese and potato; served with roasted apple, charred rosemary & thyme crema, $8. I love pierogis because every cuisine and culture have their own version of the dumpling. And these playful little Polish empanadas really hit the spot. I wished they gave you four of these but I would even settle for three at this price.

W&P Burger, 7 oz stone mountain cattle co. grass-fed beef, hot mustard, roasted garlic aioli, white american cheese, house pickles, sweet onion, handcut fries, $15. Requested mid-rare minus since most places overcook the classic burger but this meat patty came out perfectly juicy which the sturdy bun absorbed it without turning it into a pink dough. I wished I took a picture of that gorgeous rosy red center when I cut it in half but I couldn't help myself and literally ate the entire thing without stopping one bit except to pick up the other half. It's one of the tastiest burgers I have had recently in this one horse town. I love how the 'murican cheez blankets the entire patty so you get the full flavor of all the ingredients (hidden under the cheese blanket) with every bite. The handcut fries are addictive as well.

Steak Frites, stone mountain cattle co. 10 oz bistro steak, sauce bernaise, handcut fries, $27. I'm beginning to like this Stone Mountain Cattle Co.'s products... But let's see how their steaks are... And of course, they hit it out of the park, again. Requested mid-rare and it was spot-on once again with a perfect rosy juicy center. The steak was full of flavor and so tender with the perfect bite that required little effort to masticate it down to the pouch. And my dopey brain produced enough dopamine to satisfy my cravings without even touching my special place.

Stone Creek Farm Mixed Greens, toasted pecan, goat lady chevre, citrus, radish, persimmon vinaigrette, $10. I ate so much beef parts in one sitting that I might as well eat like a cow... Wait, I do already. Jesus, I really am a heifer... So, I might as well eat what they do... Ruffage time. This ain't no ordinary house salad with crappy dressing from a squeeze bottle. Look at the colors in this bowl and the persimmon vinaigrette is making me horny for some young lady goats... C'mon, Man! There's kids in here... No pun intended. 

This is a nice addition to the Atlanta restaurant scene... It's not fancypants and overpriced for average grub like at most places that sell the idea of what fine dining should be to gullible schmucks and the food is anything but. W&P's menu is what they say it is... Casual but elegant. This is what people want to eat. Good food shouldn't have to be in a formal setting. I love to see what they have in store next on their seasonal menu... And continue to keep it under 15 items. There is absolutely no reason to have a ridiculously large menu like a shitty diner with almost everything coming from a freezer.

Did the Pouch actually liked a place on the first try? Fuck me, I did.

Squirt.

519 Memorial Dr. SE

Atlanta, GA 30312

woodwardparkatl.com

Choong Man Chicken Revisit and the NEW CM Chicken

Sweet baby Jesus, this COVID shit is really cramping the Pouch's style... There's only so much fucking take-out, instant ramen, Jamaican beef patties and Hot Pockets this fat fuck can endure. Popeyes to-go is OK, though, I usually bring it home so I can make a filthy pig of myself in the comforts of my trough... No one wants to see this lardass eat in public. Children would throw up all over their moms.

I cannot go long without fried chicken... Especially, CFC aka Corean Fwied Cheekan. I need that fowl shit like Cardi B needs foul language. That twat may possibly have a bigger arse than me... I just threw up a little in my mouth thinking about that nasty skank in a thong. Can y'all imagine how that taint would smell... It's like dipping your finger in a latrine at Afropunk fest. Woof. 

We need to get off that subject STAT and back on the right side of the DMZ of South Corean cheekan... It's no secret that I'm still in a bromance with Choong Man, his chicken is so dericious that I would even choke it. Their original Duluth location has reopened for dine-in option but their chicken holds very well on take-out orders so it really doesn't make a difference. I don't go up to Duluth much anymore but since, I was at Great Wall recently to stock up on some provisions, I might as well stop into CMC and see if they still got the magic touch... They have a second location in Suwanee but that shit is way too far for this obeast slob to drive to... Also, they just opened a third location near GTech which means I had to check it out since it was closer to me. 

Enough of the mouth breathing, Pouch.. Let's get to the cheekan... So much cheekan...

First, the original Duluth location...

Tikka Soy Sauce Gizzard. I don't know if I should be eating this much offal but the crispy tender sweet soy glazed internal organs are worth suffering a week of gout flare up for... Still as good as ever. 

Garlic Soy Chicken. Damn, mofos... Look at that heavily glazed chippie... So gooey, so crispy, so juicy, so damn G U U D. Same as it ever was... This Talking Cheekanhead approves!

Garlic Spicy Chicken. Fuck me, now, that's how you glaze a cheekan... Liberally coated with the spicy garlic sauce. Squirt.

After consuming that much CFC, y'all would think this fat turd would take a break... Fuck that noise, I made a promise to my one fan that I will always deliver all that's fit to eat... Now, to the new ITP location.

The new CM Chicken at Georgia Tech took over that dump, Tech Taco, and before that it was City Cafe Diner which was even worse than Tech Taco... But now, they got something worth the drive. Shit, great fried chicken is always worth the drive. But let's take a first look to see if it's as good as the original...

Snow Onion. Don't order this on your first, second or third date... After the fourth date, you can basically fart in front of your gal or guy, so don't leave any onions uneaten... Trust me, dragon breath, it goes great with the crispy juicy cheekan.

Garlic Soy Chicken. Not as glazed as the original location but the flavor was still all there... I just like to lick my fingers and then smell them after eating my chick out. Didn't find any curlies, so that was a plus...

Tikka Soy Sauce Gizzard. I just can't say no to their fried gizzards... Yeah, it's that good, but the portion size is a bit on the chintzy side. I guess you get less for the convenience and to offset the intown rent... The cost of doing business ITP. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise, this fatso don't need 2 pounds of gizzards in one sitting... My gouty big toe thanks me.

These mothercluckers got their shit together at the two locations I have visited and I'm sure the upstate Suwanee location is just as good but do the hillbillies up there deserve such greatness? Fuck no... They should just stick to banging their cousins... Pump pump squirt with banjos playing.

Choong Man Chicken

2180 Pleasant Hill Rd

Duluth, GA 30096

CM Chicken - GaTech

525 10th St NW

Atlanta, GA 30318

Upstate Suwanee

80 Horizen Dr, Ste 103

Suwanee, GA 30024

Scoville Hot Chicken

What the fuck is the owner of Okiboru of the very good tsukemen joint in Sandy Springs doing with Nashville style hawt cheekan? Orientals don't appropriate other cultures' cuisines, only roundeyes do that... Those mooks will steal anything and pawn it off as their own on a daily basis or whatever the current fad is. Have y'all ever seen hamburgers, hot dogs and salads on a Chino menu? No fucking way, brah... But wings and fries, fuck yeah! 

Lookie here, fwied cheekan with hot sauce has been open game since the first yardbird appeared on Noah's Ark. These flightless mothercluckers have been bred for millenniums to be easily caught and eaten in a plethora of preparations... Shit, even Jesus had chicken fingers with honey mustard at his last supper, just make sure you take out the nails, son... It ain't just for kids and fat fucks watching football. 

But can a ramen dude make a proper hot chicken sando? This obeast cheekanhead will find out for it's one reader... I don't even know if my one fan is dead or alive anymore. Hopefully, I don't die from choking on a chicken bone while eating a hot chicken sando... Y'all, know how Orientals love our bone-in chicken. If y'all ever been to Macau, their bone-in Pork Chop Portuguese Bun is to die for... Yes, you eat the bone too if you're a tourist.

Let's go take a first look and see what the fuss is about... So, I checked the very limited menu online and the prices weren't that bad... $8 for sando, $10 for a combo... But let's see if it's for real...

The good old bait and switch... Old school sign on the wall says $8 for hawt cheekan sando and $10 for combo which matched the online menu... But then the order screen on the wall says $10 for the hawt cheekan sando and $12 for the combo... And fucking NO one questioned them about it... Not even those Yelp bitches. This fat fuck shoulda made a fuss but it was slammed in there and they were running around like cheekans with their heads cut off. I felt sorry for these mooks... So, I let it go... That $2 is your tip mothercluckers. This shit better be worth it... And I bet they will leave that fucking misleading sign up forever.

I got two sandos- Hot and Extra Hot... They have a Reaper level but they are never worth it in my experience at every hot cheekan joint. It's either some thick molasses gloppy shit or some type of dry rub mix that they coat heavily with after coming out of the fryer... Here, they use the rub but you can get a little on the side to sprinkle it on the sando.

Hot Sando. It's a very impressively plump chicken breast.. Definitely, trying to go for the girthy Popeyes chicken sando style. The crust is light but crispy, nicely executed. The chicken itself was pretty tender and juicy and had good flavor. The Hot level is nothing.. Maybe a little tingle on the tip of your tongue. But that doesn't discount the sando itself... Because it was a very good chicken sando as a whole... It fucking better be for $10. I would bring some hot sauce with me next time.. Wait, fuck that noise, for $10, they should have some damn complimentary hot sauces.

Extra Hot Combo. It's the same fucking sando but with extra sauce on it... It was like a sriracha mayo, geez. There was no difference in the heat level between the two except the sauce on this one ran down your hands and arms. The fries were the standard brown bag crinkle cut varietal, but they are good when it's fresh out of the fryer... If it sits too long, toss those limp dicks in the trash. 

Here's their Scoville chart... I can't give y'all any advice on what level to pick.. They aren't that spicy.

Would I go back and get ripped off for another girthy cheekan sando... Maybe if I was in the area and won $20 on a scratch off ticket. Or I could just go down the street to Popeyes and get 5 Popeyes cheekan sandos... Hmm, 3rd world problems.

Keep the change you filthy fowl animal... Squirt.

4969 Roswell Rd

Ste 220

Sandy Springs, GA 30342

https://scovillechicken.com/