Why the fuck do I do this to myself? I keep coming back here as a goof just to see the ratio between roundeyes and slants. I look on Facebook, errr, Meta and all these crackers are marking themselves safe at LanZhou Ramen. Fucking pale skins. This place was such a gem when it first opened and the ex-pats were coming in droves to get some damn dericious knife sliced noodles. Anyone in the know will never order the regular old hand pulled spaghetti noodles... They don't hold sauce, broth or flavor well. Shit, I have never seen a real Eyetalian ever eat plain old spaghetti because they don't grab the sauce. So, after a year or two of noodle heaven, some fucking mook on Yelp or Eater posted that LanZhou was safe for the pedestrians and they started to infest this beloved noodle joint... To the point of no return. I stopped coming here for months because it looked like the waiting area of P.F.-fucking-Chang's with scores of homely Dragon-Con looking motherfuckers waiting to slobber away on the Chino spaghetti. I waited prolly a year before coming back here and while it was still filled with roundeyes, the volume was not as crazy.
I surveyed the perimeter and noticed all the gwailos ordering the same exact thing... Standard beef with thin noodle soup. And I mean all of them. There was a father and son, same fucking beef thin noodle soup. Fat cosplay furry hybrid creasture, fucking beef thin noodle bowl but with a side of flied lice... Fucking fried rice, make that shit at home, bro. A gaggle of pubescent broads texting each other at the table on what to order like they were coordinating outfits... Guess what they end up ordering? Fucking beef thin noodle soup because they have to be on the same level playing field just in case cute boys walk in... Sadly, one of the bros will have to take one for the team and jump on the grenade with the muffin top one. A Brookhaven family of four, ordered two of the same fucking thin noodle veggie stir fried noodle. Have any of these mooks ever heard of family style and variety? Obviously, fucking no.
Let's hope the grub is still acceptable... So, I went twice within a couple of weeks apart to make sure they were still consistent.
Sliced Beef and Ox Tripe in Chili Sauce. Thank 8 lbs 6 oz baby Jesus that only the ex-pats orders this dericious app. They say it's beef and tripe but it is actually beef and tendon... Even better, ese! This is still spot-on and the portion is generous... Only comment would be it could be spicier. They do have chili sauce to drown it as much as your heart desires.
Chive Pocket Buns. These are basically Chino Hot Pockets. Great looking dough/crust and the filling was super chivey and I think there were bits of pork in there. I ate this so damn fast can't remember all the detz. But it's a tasty snack.
Shranghai Pan Fried Pork Bun. These are usually hit or miss... Because they either burn the fucking crepe-like crust or it comes out all broken. This exhibit was totally acceptable but they got real fucking chintzy and give you 5 now instead of 6. Still worth it I guess... But the red-headed stepchild at the table doesn't get one.
Dry Fried String Beans. They have this dish pretty much on auto pilot... As good as ever.
Beef Tendon Knife Sliced Noodle Soup. Look at those ribbons of glutenous love. These noodles hold flavor so much better. There was a good amount of chunky tender tendon in there. The broth is still pretty good and savory. Not too watered down. Still a great bowl on a chilly day.
Beef Stir Fried Knife Sliced Noodle. Always have to get a stir fry nood dish... I know what y'all are thinking... Where's the beef? Chill out, Wendy, it's in there... They were all piled underneath the ribbons of noodles. Everything was correct on this except the goddamn broccoli. It wouldn't kill you to use gai-lan or Shranghai bok-choy.
On another previous visit...
Steamed Soup Dumplings. If you need a quick fix, these will do. The skin is a bit on the thicker side but the soup and pork inside were hot and juicy and pretty good flavor. I would probably get sucka'd in on these soupy dumps, again.
Shranghai Pan Fried Pork Bun. It looks like it has leprosy. Big open sores throughout the crepe crust. It was crispy and the bun was good. It's always hit or miss with the crispy crust... They really need to get consistent on these... Because it's so IG-able.
Ox Tail Hand Pulled Noodle Soup. This is still one of the best noodle soups. The ox tail is plentiful and with a good bit of meat. I love digging for meat in all the crevices like I was picking my snout. Ok, if y'all were paying attention, this bowl had the thin pulled noodles... Guess who ordered it? A roundeye... Because they wanted variety instead of all knife sliced. I get it, bro... It was still good... Just for this one time.
Lamb Knife Sliced Noodle Soup. This is more fucking like it! Chunks of lamb and thick ribbons... Damn this was guud. I wished they made a combo with lamb and tendon, that shit would be fire.
Pork Stir Fried Knife Sliced Noodle. I don't think I have ever ordered the classic bbq pork stir fried noodz... Because it's so common. Well, here it is and I must say it was pretty tasty. Would I order it again? Meh. Only if there was a redhead or blonde at the table.
Dry Fried String Beans. Of course, I had to order this... This is a must have on every visit. My mama mama mama san says you gotta eats yo veggies. It's always so vibrant and the crunch is spot-on.
Doraville, GA 30340
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