La Mei Zi - Long Overdue Revisit

I still remember the days of yore when this location was called Chicken World... It was a deplorable LatinX-Wing joint in this one Bantha town. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. I walked into that cantina once many many moons ago hoping for some dericious spicy Latin wings but the immediate stench made me throw up in my mouth that tasted like bad menudo... That was a first for the Iron Pouch. It was dark, musty, moldy and damp... I felt my midi-chlorians draining from my immense force and girth. Where the fuck is Yoda to lift me out of that swamp? I used what little force I had left and turned around and went out the door and swore never to come back... Until years later when that Mexican't dumpster fire finally closed up shop and the new tenants did a total transformation of the shithole into a bright and modern space serving Taiwanese vittles. All the dishes sampled were more than acceptable with some exceptional like the Chinese okra with crabmeat and roe... Then the VID hit for a couple of years and I haven't been back since until recently. So, did anything change for the worse or better or stayed the same? Well, let's go and see if the Pouch will throw up and shit its underpants or will it become an even fatter fuck from eating everything... One thing's for sure, the prices have all creeped up as with any resto across the lands but not as extreme as some dumps taking advantage of the pandemic and making bank on suckaz emotions playing the victim... I'm fat and unsightly but y'all don't see me crying woe is me...

Taiwanese Salt & Pepper Chicken with Basil. Still pretty damn good... The portion is still abundant and the fried basil are vibrant.

Braised Beef & Scallion with Hoisin Sauce in Roll. These beef rolls have always been a crowd pleaser... The roundeyes fucking love these things. Put in two orders if there's gwailos around.

Stewed Minced Pork with Dry Noodles. The Dan Dan Noodles have always been a smart move but recently they have been a let down... So, stick with the minced prok noodz... They are still good as ever. 

Eggplant in Garlic Sauce with Pork. Eggplant in garlic sauce always pairs up well with pork but chicken and beef works as well. The secret to this dish is the garlic sauce- savory and sweet at the same time.. Don't forget to put some chili oil in it for that extra kick in the nads.

Stewed Chinese Okra with Crabmeat & Roe. The availability of this amazing dish is always a crapshoot, sometimes its available and sometimes its not... But this corpulent slug was in the favor of the obeast gods today and this dish was available... This is easily one of the best dishes on Bufo Hwy but I have observed that the gringos don't fully understand what treasure they have in front of their snouts... Good! More fucking oriental okra and crabmeat and roe for this chunky Chino! Stick with your potstickers you porkers, the other white meat... 

Spicy Mapo Tofu with Pork. Every time I see this on the menu, I gotta order it... It's just in my DNA (donuts always) to respect my ancient paw-paws. Every thing about this classic dish is homey comfort food.. This will always be my go to fat girl's dish. It's savory, spicy and soft... Mix all that shit in a bowl of rice and I'll be falling asleep like a pig in shit... Sometimes literally.

Braised Fried Tofu with Broccoli. OK, no self-respecting lard ass slant would order something so low rent as this with broccoli. The crackers at the table didn't want something so ethnic... At a Chinese resto on Bufo Hwy... Imagine that. There's a Panda Expwess at the Atlanta Hartsfield Latoya Jackson Intergalactic Spaceport and Nail Emporium, grab some orange cheekan and fly your pale ass back to Ohio... But I digress. I was open minded and let them roundeyes order it anyways... But I did suggest the fried tofu vs the soft. It turns out the fried tofu in the savory brown sauce was better than expected and of course the whities gobbled up the broccoli.

Three Cups Chicken. Y'all knew this fat cheekan lipz had to get fwied cheekan... The classic 3 cup chicken... But the portion didn't seem like they used 3 cups. No matter, the chicken pieces were dericious and the gringos didn't eat as much of this dish so the puffy Pouch over indulged and was fully satisfied. So damn guud.

Yes, this joint is back and running at full speed. Git yo lardasses back to this place before the Pouch eats the entire inventory of Chino okra with crabmeat and roe... Fuck me, that dish makes me squirt every time I think about it.

Pump Pump...

SPLASH.