The socially awkward Yelpers have been busy... Really fucking busy. Look at how many fucking pictures these toolboxes have been posting on this new noodle joint... And there are only 3 fucking things on the entire menu. A handful of really snooze-worthy appetizers (totally catered for the demographics), tsukemen (3 different richness of chicken and fish broth) and ramen (1 pork broth, 1 chicken/fish broth and 1 veggie/mushroom broth). The entire Yelp photo album is just dupes of the same 3 dishes 500 times... Looking at all the photos is like eating rice, when you want the same thing 10,000 times in one sitting. I was getting a headache already at page 2 of 17 pages... I thought I was back in my shrink's office giving me a Rorschach test... Which every inkblot looked like fried chicken to me. He initially diagnosed it as a thought disorder, but in reality it was just an eating disorder... How did this stupid motherfucker with all his fake doctor degrees on the wall get it so wrong... All he had to do was open his goddamn eyeballs and take a gander at this chubby chode. He gave me a variety of snacks to test my palate but everything tasted like chicken. Touche.
Enough, of the inner psyche of the Pouch... We want more of the inner bowels of the Pouch. Let's go take a first look at this new tsukemen/ramen spot in a sea of IBS noodle joints that's been saturating this one horse town. Their standout item is obviously the tsukemen which most gaijins have no fucking clue what the fuck it even is, but more on that later.
Let's take a quick ride through the apps/small plates... Holy fucking snoozefest. Who the fuck would seriously entertain this section, oh wait, nevermind... Two thin ass chashu slices sitting on a single ply of daikon wrapper for $7. Four ponko butterflied salad shrimp lollipops for $8. Three whole fried gutter pigeon wings for $7. A cup of edamame for $7, but wait, it's coated in truffle garlic soy... Hahaha, ok, then! Three grilled ribs for $7, but how much for just one rib? Five deep fried gyoza that look like a blistered eggroll log from a slutty Chino dump for $6. It's no surprise who they made this part of the menu for... So many suckaz, so little freezer space. It sounded and looked so pedestrian that even the Pouch said no fucking thanks, I don't do skanks... Well, at least not during the day.
Stop fucking around, Pouch and let's get to the real stars of the show... The tsukemen and ramen. The space is small but it works. That is, if people do their job and get in, slurp, burp and get the fuck out, it would be so much more efficient like in a Japanese ramen shop... There's a certain unspoken etiquette to them. But noooo, I see so many stupid motherfuckers that wants to hang around all night long and talk, no, text each other at the table and take up valuable space. Ichiran in NYC has it right, they apply the solo dining booth technique so you can focus all your attention on the tonkotsu, no fucking talking, only slurping... And then get the fuck out. So, I'm employing the same technique here... Get my fat ass here early, know what to order before sitting down, then slurp, burp, queef and leave ASAP, mostly from the embarrassment.
Tsukemen (tsu-ke-men), 'Dipping Ramen' - House made noodles rinsed cold served with hot broth on the side. I like how they laminated instructions for the roundeyes... Because a bowl of cold noodles and a bowl of hot broth is a very difficult puzzle to solve... Gimmicks, man, it's all about the gimmicks.
Buta Paitan w/ Gyokai (regular or spicy), rich chicken & fish broth, pork chashu, soft boiled egg, bamboo shoots, yuzu zest, scallion, lime, thick noodles (tsukemen noodles), $16. Doesn't look half bad, I like the whole soy egg... Let's take a closer look...
These traditional thick noodles are similar to udon noodles, more surface area to coat the broth. The whole soft soy egg was nice to see in the bowl and the oozy yolk was spot on. The chashu was kinda thin and fatty but had good flavor. The menma was standard issued. A squeeze of the lime's acidity will help cut the rich fattiness of the broth. Let's take a dip..
Let the noodles sit for a bit to absorb the broth. The rich chicken and fish broth is quite salty and potent. It is almost creamy but it has a unmistakable umami flavor to it... The gyokai gives it a rich bonito dashi flavor, maybe even too fishy for some. The broth coated the noodles very well and the saltiness seasoned the noodles perfectly with each bite. Overall, the tsukemen is quite good but after awhile the saltiness of the broth catches up with you and you will be pounding water later on. You can always opt for the medium or light tsukemen broth.
Tonkotsu, (regular or spicy), traditional rich pork broth, pork chashu, soft boiled egg, bamboo shoots, scallion, thin noodles, $13. The price of this tonkotsu was very reasonable... We'll see about that after the first slurp of the broth. It looked very rich and creamy but that doesn't always mean it will be collagen rich with that stickiness that we all desire in a tonkotsu. The chashu, menma and half soft egg were the same as in the tsukemen. The noodles were too thin for my taste, it just doesn't hold the broth like a thicker standard ramen noodle does. So, what about the broth, Pouch?! Don't keep your one reader in suspense... Alrighty then, take a peek at the next picture and you shall have your answer...
This tonkotsu broth was very good, it was rich, complex, full of umami, not greasy and had just the right amount of stickiness from the collagen. It was good enough for the Pouch to inhale the entire bowl. The broth is a keeper but ask them for thicker noodles if you want a perfectly balanced bowl of tonkotsu ramen... But not the thick tsukemen noodles, though.
I would come back for tonkotsu ramen. The tsukemen was good but not crave-worthy enough for the visit alone. And I'm not even gonna mention the apps.
Pump, pump...
Queef.
6125 Roswell Rd #800
Atlanta, GA 30328
https://www.okiboru.com/
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