Mama's Chicken & Seafood

The Pouch has been known to risk life, limb and FUPA (fat upper pannus area) in search for the best fwied cheekan known to pouchkind... Sometimes, they are located in shady areas, shit, who am I kidding? Most of them usually are... The bigger the shithole, the better the cheekan. I'm already lickin' my lipz just thinking about eating that cheekan with one leg behind each ear... You really are a sicko, Pouch.
So, this stout porcine was on Mountain Industrial Blvd in Tucker... Don't ask the paunchy slob why it was roaming around this area. I'm invoking the official U.S. policy of DADT (don't ask, don't tell). Ok, I was actually checking out the Tucker Brewing Co. which is pretty cool... But the rotation of food trucks are disappointing sometimes. Eh, let's face it, most food trucks are a letdown these days... And this fat fuck was starving like a Gap Girl and needed something crispy and greasy to fill the endless abyss that is the Pouch. I was looking for some tacos because I heard there's decent tacos to be had around here... Hopped on my Rascal and burned outta the parking lot like a fatburg outta a sewer. It's ok, I have run flats on this beast. So, I'm cruising along and I see this Mama's Chicken... Instant blood flow. I turned around and headed inside with a full blown hard-on... Well, it was more like a tent pants on a 4 year old in Underoos. This is gonna be a fucking epic adventure... I can feel it in my gouty toes.

It appears to be an old Krystals... But I'm fucking loving the colors and the look of this stand alone cheekan outpost. I can't wait to weeble wobble this lard ass inside... Man, those signs on the windows look just like Popeyes... Could it be an ex-cook that worked with the legend himself? Kinda like all the Peter Chang ex-cooks opening up their own shops around town and kicking ass.

Giant menu on the outside. It's fried cheekan all day, all the time... I'm in cheekan lipz heaven. If there was seafood on the menu I didn't see any because my eyes were crying greasy tears of joy.

What. Da. Fuck. is going on in here... Did I walk into a gas station with a Krispy Krunchy Chicken in the corner? Who designed this... The Colonel with a bipolar disorder? It's the weirdest fucking thing at first but it makes sense after you take it all in... It's literally a chicken and beer shack. There's a whole wall of beverages to choose from... Careful man, there's a beverage here. The menu looks yuge but it's really just different combinations of chicken and a handful of frozen fried seafood which you should prolly avoid. I took a peek at the staff cooking back there and I was getting excited again... Could this be a Flip chicken joint like Jollibee? Oh, fucking please be it... Because this will be amazing. Flip grub had short stints in this one horse town, none of them have ever lasted... There's a million KFC (Korean Fried Chicken) joints around town but there has never been a FFC (Flip Fried Chicken) joint. It has never been tried before in this town... Could this joint be the first to bring Flip style cheekan to da ATL? I was so nervous from the excitement that I just stood there at the counter drooling like Simple Jack... I had a serious case of mushmouth and mumbled out my order. Do you understand the words that are coming out of my fat facegash? Then I looked at the kid's name tag and he was Vietnamese... Fuck me, they were all Vietnamese, not a Dela Cruz, Garcia, Fernandez, Gonzales, Sanchez or any lechon and lumpia in sight. But this might not be a bad thing... We all know how amazing the fish sauce glazed wings are at Nam Phuong... But is there such a thing as Vietnamese fwied cheekan? Is there even a CFC... A Charlie Fried Chicken? I guess I'm about to find out, you goofy motherfuckers!

Half & Half, Livers and Gizzards and a roll, $4.49. Jesus. Henry. Christ. Look at this goddamn portion... It's yuge! The golden brown crust looked amazing... The batter was not too heavy nor too light, it was just right. Big ass pieces of liver and gizzards overloaded the box, it even started to melt some of the styrofoam where it made contact. It was all fried to order. Took a bite of the liver and the crust crackled and crunched perfectly, the liver was moist with that unmistakable mineraly taste. It was all good except that it was under-seasoned... C'mon, Nguyen, how can you forget to season these tasty little fuckers? Luckily, I had a lot of hot sauce. The gizzards were big and the crust was just as good as the livers but the gizzards seemed to be not prepared correctly ahead of time... Like letting them soak in seasoned buttermilk overnight or simmered for a couple hours in a herb seasoned broth to tenderize them. The gizzards had a wonderful crunch on the outside but the crunch on the inside was too tough and bland. The whole packaged looked amazing but I would stick with the livers for now until they figure out how to prepare the gizzards properly. But for about $4, you just can't beat this fucking ginormous portion.

10 Piece Mixed, 5 Rolls, $10.99. Hey, girl... I got somethin' real important to give you... A gift real special, so take off the top... Take a look inside, it's fwied chick in a box! Was it a holiday I didn't know about... Christmas? Hanukkah? Kwanzaa? Shit, everyday is a holiday when it comes to fwied cheekan... And I'm gonna get fucked up because that golden fwied cheekan was flowing outta that box like cheap wine. How they stuffed 10 pieces and 5 dinner rolls in that cardboard box, I have no clue... But those Vietnamese are crafty little fuckers. Look at that crust, just like the livers and gizzards... Just the perfect medium thickness and crunch... But once again, the chicken like the livers were under-seasoned. For a mixed box, you would think they would give you more dark meat than white but somehow they put in more breast than thighs which kinda bummed me out. The dark meat like the legs and a couple thighs were moist and tender but the white breast meat was kinda dried out. I loaded so much hot sauce on there just to get it down my throat. Was the fwied cheekan all that the Pouch had hoped for? Fuck no, bro. But it didn't stop me from eating the entire box in one sitting... Fuck me, this fat fuck did it again! It's an average deal for a 10 piece mixed box, you can get a better deal at Publix with their outstanding supermarket fried chicken. And the question that my one fan prolly wants to know the most... How does it compare to Popeyes? Y'all know the answer to that already but I'll say it anyways... Not even fucking close. Maybe if they glazed it with fish sauce... Hmmm, don't steal my idea, mofos!

I like their unspoken concept of chicken and beer but Mama needs to focus on their main item and that is the almighty chicken. The problem is their menu is just too fucking big, they need to get rid of some of the dead weight on there and consolidate it to be less overwhelming. They are wasting their time, energy and money on the non-sellers. Just focus on making a great fried chicken... If you fry it, they will come. But I must say that I'm not opposed to going back to see how they're doing... It is fried chicken afterall. What's that old saying, "Sex is like pizza, even when it's bad it's still pretty good." Well, the Pouch says fuck that noise! I rather have no pizza than bad pizza... I can't comment on the sex part since I'm an innocent, fragile, young and naive school girl. But it can be said that a bad fried chicken is still pretty good... And I really want them to make a kick ass FC. But if it hasn't improved drastically on the little things in the near future, then those assclowns on Yelp may have a point with the plethora of negative reviews, all 3 of them. 

Don't fucking die on me, CFC! Get your chicken shit together because I need to eat mor chikin... And I ain't talkin' about that low rent Chickfila shit because boneless fried chicken is udderly disgusting.

2922 Mountain Industrial Blvd
Tucker, GA 30084
http://mamaschicken.net/index.html

Quoc Huong Check Up

The Pouch hasn't been back to one of the OG's in Viet grub in a bit... It was hot as fuck outside and a hot ass bowl of pho would be the last thing you would want to eat during the summer in GA but that didn't deter this fat fuck from chowing down on a bowl of dac biet. When the craving hits, you must submit. Of course, I can't just order one thing. Quoc has been slinging some of the best banh mi's in this one horse town. Lee's Bakery used to be pretty good but their quality has gone down over the years with the infiltration of the outlanders. But their breads are still damn good. Quoc has not changed anything since they opened the doors, the staff are still wearing the same clothes from the 70's. The old lady who's been there forever is still running the show and she is a fucking freight train with that cleaning cart. She sits you down, throws the menu down, pulls out her order pad and expects you to know your order within 30 seconds. Mama-san don't play that. Luckily, the menu hasn't changed either except for the prices. If this is your first visit, be warned. So, I suggest you go online and look at the menu and know what you're ordering before you even step foot in here. They are fucking efficient as hell, it's a well oiled machine and the staff know their parts very well. The banh mi ladies are goddamn machines, they are sando making cyborgs. The space is small and sometimes the lines are long... Thanks to all the interlopers. They want you to come in, order, eat, pay and get the fuck out. Thank you, come again! And for you cashless Venmo millennials, fuck off because they are old school and don't fuck with technology, it's cash only motherfuckers! Which does help to curb the manbun crowds. With that said, enjoy... And you're welcomed.

Banh Mi, Grilled BBQ Pork. This was a near perfect specimen. The French bread was shiny and golden brown. The crust had the right crunch on the outside and the pillowy softness inside. The grilled BBQ pork was a gorgeous red hue and thinly sliced with hardly any fat on it. It was flavorful and tender. It had the perfect balance of do chua (pickled carrot and daikon), cilantro, jalapeno and Viet mayo. They may not be the amazing $2.50 banh mi anymore but at $3.50 nowadays, it is still one of the best sandos around.

Bun with BBQ Pork. When it's hot as hades outside, a nice cold noodle dish like this bun is a nice refreshing meal. They don't fucking skimp on the portions here. Look at that bowl full of rice noodles and BBQ pork, they ain't fucking chintzy about it. They supply you with a nice bowl of nuoc cham to soak the noodles in but if you need more they will give you a gallon of it. Mix all up that crap up in a bowl and proceed to stuff your fat facehole. It's OK, no one cares how you eat here. Slurping is the proper eating technique for anything in a bowl.

 

Pho Dac Biet. This bowl came out piping hot and it was all good since their AC was working. The first thing to do is to take a few sips of the broth... To make sure it was made properly. And tis was. It had a nice beefy taste to it along with all the traditional seasonings in making a pho broth, the star anise should be very prominent in smell and taste in a proper pho broth. It looks dericious as is but for the Pouch it's a bit naked. Let's dress it up and put some lipstick on this porker... And the pho, too.

A little pump, pump and a squirt... Now, it looks ready to eat. Mix that shit up good and you got a real tasty and filling lunch or linner or dinner or midnight snack. Quoc don't mess with different bowl sizes, it has always been one size feeds all... And $8 for a big bowl of dac biet is still a bargain.

This little Viet dump has been a mainstay in Asian Square for a many many moons... No matter how many dudebros and salmon colored shorts make their way through here, the affordable prices and the kick ass authentic grubbery makes this truly one of the OG's of pho and banh mi's. If they start watering down the menu, like so many other Viet joints on Buford Hwy, there will be hell to pay... They might as well pack up and retire to Florida.

5150 Buford Hwy NE
Doraville, GA 30340

Hai Authentic Chinese Lunch Visit

This is a first for the Pouch... Posting a follow up not long after the initial visit. I was and still am excited about having this "authentic" Chino resto so close to my dump in Dickhater, err, Decatur. I am still running on the high from the first visit but I needed another hit to continue that high... So, I made a quick lunch visit during a week day. The lunch special menu is pretty much generic roundeye slop like General chicken, broccoli chicken, Mongolian beef and Kung Pao... But at the very bottom, there is a Hot & Numbing Flounder. I knew I had to try this for shits and giggles but then I started thinking... Yes, this pea brain does work sometimes... This dish may be the braised fish in hot chili oil. I remember looking for it on the menu on my first visit and just bypassed it, maybe I got verklempt with all the Panda Express dishes. 
Went in on a Wednesday afternoon and it was pretty quiet. Only a couple of tables were having lunch. Good, that means my lunch will be made fresh and properly. I was jonesing for some mala fish in chili oil... C'mon, let's get to it already, Pouch! Your fat ass can't wait that long...

Sliced Pork Knuckle, braised in brown sauce and sliced after chilled with chili sauce and garlic oyster sauce. I like that they have the balls to serve something like this in this area... And I love seeing the roundeyes' face of disgust and going into conniptions... The expressions on their fat face are priceless. I can't wait til they put moose knuckle on the menu in the future. Camel toe will be just too much for this demographics to handle... Especially, with their demon spawns around.

Hot & Numbing Flounder Lunch Special. On my first visit, I was too excited to even notice that this dish was the braised fish in hot chili oil. I just totally bypass the name on the menu. But I saw this on the lunch menu and this dish brought me back. When it came out, I got really excited... It was a hefty portion for a lunch special. Hey, I ain't complaining, no fucking way I was gonna question them about it. The color was vibrant with a deep red hue. They packed a good amount of tender flaky flounder in that cauldron. But the heat or mala was lacking, not that it wasn't good, it was just not spicy at all. But that was more my fault for forgetting to ask them to make it super spicy. This was a great dish during lunch for $10. The dinner menu is $16, hopefully it's a bigger portion but pictures from other people didn't seem much larger.

A soup came with the lunch special and this hot & sour soup was generic at best. They even served it with fried wonton strips... Fucking nailed it. Yeah, nailed it into the coffin of slutty Chino slop. I still ate it, though.. Because I'm a fat fuck, but without the stale ass strips.

Dragon Eggplant in Spicy Garlic Sauce, a reimagining of a classic dish. Oh, it's a "reimagining" of something but that wasn't the first thing I thought of when this came out... I was like, shit, am I going to eat a human centipede or was this a John Holmes bodies exhibit? Who fucking came up with this dish, Lorena Bobbitt? But I'll tell y'all what... This shit was tasty. I have never given a BJ before but if it tasted like this, I may go gay a couple times a month for this tasty morsel. The presentation is skillfully executed. The spiral sliced eggplant is arranged in an artistic fashion and the spicy garlic sauce is coated evenly in every nook and cranny. It's just a good dish, even without meat, plain and simple.

I'm still pretty impressed with this joint. It's the best real Chino grub around in this area... And I'm OK with their menu being half Panda Express shit for the crackers and the other half with very acceptable Szechuan grub for the slopes. There is enough "authentic" dishes here that will satisfy my Chino cravings without having to drive to Buford Hwy... But remember to tell them you want the real mala on the Szechuan dishes or else they will dumb down the heat to gwailo levels.

I'm giving them a pump and a half a squirt... It's good enough to pass the smell test.

2641 North Decatur Rd.
Decatur, GA 30033
www.haieat.com