Gino's East of Chicago

When did this one horse town cared so much about Chicago style deep dish pizza? No one gave a shit about Nancy's or Rosati's when they opened and they still don't.... So, how is Gino's East even getting as much hype as they are for their opening... The Pouch is stumped and baffled but the mystery must be revealed for my one reader. Maybe it's because they're from Chicago? But does that even matter these days when concepts expand all over the universe... Look at The Halal Guys, they're from NYC and they suck ass big time here, why they're opening another location is beyond me. Deep dish isn't even pizza, it's a fucking casserole... It's like a dude that can't toss a proper pizza decided to make a dense bread with cheese and sauce on top inside a pan swirled with an excessive amount of oil and butter.
Maybe I'm just bitter that this trailer park town can't produce a decent NYC 'Za... I'm not a big fan of Chi-town 'Za but the deep dish I had at Giordano's in Chicago was actually pretty tasty. It was a total gut bomb but it tasted decent. I don't know if the water matters in a Chi-town ca-ZA-role but it sure does in a NYC 'Za, maybe that's why no one can do a proper NYC 'Za down here. Anyone remember that bullshit dump- Brooklyn Water Bagel Co. that opened years ago in Cobb? They boasted about producing their own Brooklyn style water via a 14-step filtration system to make all their bagels and other shit on the menu... Needless to say, they didn't last long. This town loves gimmicks but gimmicks never last more than a couple of years... That fucking ridiculous Poke gimmick has ran it course in under a year and all these suckaz with golden franchise dweamz poured a ton of money into it with nothing to show. Bless their fishy hearts.
Let's get back to the cheesy tomato fruit cakes... So, they took over short lived Rize pizza space on the other side of CO (how the fuck is that place still in business?). I wonder if the leasing agent disclosed to them that this space is cursed. They pretty much redesigned the entire space, it looks a lot smaller in the same footprint... Maybe Rize seemed bigger because no one was in there, ever. Walked in and of course, there was a huge line... At least they had a mural on the wall to admire while waiting. It is a fucking frog in a space suit or a pair of martian ballsack in a helmet... You don't need K2 or Spice to hallucinate this crazy shit. They are also trying to be hip AF with the social media demographics with the overuse of the acronym as a product selling point. Enough of the blah blah blah... Get to the grub already Pouch, you gotta be hungry AF by now...

The whole menu is pornographic AF... 9", 12" and DEEPAF. That American Pie scene just popped into my pea brain... But in reality, there's prolly a whole lotta twerking in the back. Let it cold down first, Pouch. Pump pump squirt... Mmm, cheesy and creamy.

Chicken Wings, carrots, celery, fries and sauces. At first, I was like $11 for 8 fucking wings? Then I read the description closer and it comes with all that shit. Ok, maybe it's not such a ripoff, yet. The wings have a thin batter crust, it's really crispy and tasted pretty good. The shoe string fries were limp and soggy. The hot sauce was garbage, the BBQ sauce was too sweet, the bleu cheese was weak and runny... But the wings were good. Would I get them again? As a whole dish, hell no AF. Just stick with a dozen wings for $11 and keep it simple with a standard hot sauce like Frank's and real bleu cheese.

Charred Brussels Sprouts, pancetta, garlic, panko.  Brussels sprouts is played out AF but that doesn't stop people from ordering them over and over again. I like brussels sprouts and this execution can be found everywhere no matter the cuisine or restaurant. It came out pretty good, the pancetta made this dish tasty AF.

Homemade Spinach Mozzarella Sticks, marinara. They were boasting about this app over and over again, saying order this instead of the regular mozza sticks. Fine. It looked ok when it came out but after one bite, it was all spinach and barely any cheese. It wasn't horrible but it had nothing to hold your attention after one stick. The marinara was nothing special but you needed it like oxygen to get it down. Skip it and stick with the regular mozza sticks if you must get them.

Diavola, spicy pepperoni, basil, truffle oil. $27 for a 12" casserole pie. This thing looked flat AF. I have seen wheels on a lawmower bigger than this. Did they even cook this bread frisbee in the pan? Looked like they cooked it on a flat pizza pan and then put it in this pan to make it look authentic. Look at the side of the crust, it's fucking rounded... That shit never even touched the side of this deep dish pan. Fraud! Who the fuck are they trying to fool? It's like a fancy steak house putting side dishes in mini cast irons pans after it's cooked... All for the presentation. But you can imagine how many retards thought it was cooked in there... Yeah, that mac and cheese was made in the cast iron. Sure, that's believable AF. Let's take a closer look at the "slice"...

It's just a big bloody blob of dough, tomato sauce and cheese. Nevermind that filler crap, the crust is the most important part of a Chi-town deep dish. I swear, that rounded crust was such a dead give away it wasn't even cooked in that pan. I have never seen a pizza dough that shrunk like a Shrinky Dink. It's just falling in on itself. Let's take a closer look on the crust.

Under-cooked and gummy loaf of bread. Looked miserable AF... It was almost as sad as my muffin top, it even kinda looked like it with all the stretch marks. The sauce and cheese was standard issue, the pepperoni wasn't spicy but it had a nice finish with the truffle oil. Overall, this shallow dish was pretty disappointing AF.

Gino's Supreme, pepperoni, Italian sausage, onions, green peppers, mushrooms... All this crap for a measly $31. These motherfuckers just can't keep their grubby hands off the pies. They "have" to start cutting it up and plate it for you to show you the stringy cheese. I'm like, yo, I ain't handicapped, I can pick up my own slice. Based on what's left in the pan, the dough looked much better... As if it was cooked in the same pan as evident with the flat crust against the side of the pan. Let's take a closer look... Wait a second, I couldn't stop looking at the remnants in this pan and if I spewed regurg back into the pan, it really wouldn't make a difference.

The side of the crust was thinner and flatter like the retaining wall of the pool in Poltergeist trying to hold out the dead from doing the back stroke. This looked more like the Chi-town casserole we're used to.

I New Yorker-fied it AF with a nice heaping of red pepper flakes and grated parm. Now, it looks more like a 'Za. This behemoth tasted a lot better than the last disaster. The crust was cooked more properly according to the deep dish specs. Thin flat crust on the side and not too thick on the bottom... So, you don't have a mouthful of breading on every bite. But let's not get ahead of ourselves here... It still ain't a 'Za, but for what it was, it was acceptable.

Thanks Fat 'Murica, you did it, again! Who the fuck can really eat an entire pan pizza in one sitting, better question is why would any mofo want to eat an entire pan pizza in one sitting. I get it, these types of pies are geographic specific... Like in the midwest because it's cold AF and you need a lot of padding for the rough winters. There are no lack of fat slobs in the midwest. But this is Hotlanta... Wait, this town is not lacking obeast creastures, either... And this fat fuck is in the front of that pack. I ate 2 1/2 normal size sections and I was about to explode and regurgitate it to all the baby birds around me within a 5 foot radius. It sat at the bottom of the pouch for 2 days, it was like a paper weight.
The hype for this type of gimmick in this town is expected and they will be packed for at least a couple of months. There was a family of 15 who came here on opening night celebrating something, who the fuck plans a huge family gather and go to an unproven resto on opening night? People with the education level and palate of a 5 year old, that's who. But the hype will die down soon enough and the gimmick will not be as sexy after gaining 15 lbs. Look at Hattie B's, the crowds have died down by more than half and that curiosity has been satisfied by the pedestrians and they are ready to move on to the next new shiny kitchen. This place will be no different by the end of Q1 next year.
It's not terrible but there's really nothing here to bring me back on a monthly basis, not even on a semi-annual basis. It's also really pricey for what it is... But what gimmick isn't pricey in this town? The deep dish tomato cheese cakes just ain't my thing... But don't let that keep y'all from trying it out and judge for yourself if you are a fan of this type of pie. Jesus, I'm still bloated AF 3 days later.
I'm still waiting for Al's Italian Beef, Portillo's or Abe Froman to open up here... We need the sausage king of Chicago in this one horse town... Desperately, because I'm fat AF.

675 North Highland Ave.
Atlanta, GA 30306
https://www.ginoseast.com/atlanta