Scooby Pouch Snacks

My name is Marsupial Pouch and I am addicted to food... Holy fuck... I have been eating non-stop lately that I haven't had time to write up all the shit that has gone from MTA (mouth to ass)... I feel like a pouch centipede. So much grub and vittles and so little time... And I can't stop consuming in mass quantities. Let's face it, I am a fat fucking crass slob with awful grammar and writing skills... My fingaz are so bloated that I can't even type, fat fingering 4 keys at a time... And they're greasy, too. There's no denying my healthy girth, I need to butter my hips just to get my pants on over my adult diapers. They say children never lie, so, when they point their fingers at me and say to their parents, "why is there a three toed sloth in here eating all our Chuck E Cheese pizza, mommy?"... I just stand there in all my glory, all proud and shit with drool dripping off my 3rd chin. Don't hate, motherfuckers... Congratulate. The amount of food I consume is uncanny... Speaking of cans... Time to open up a can of gummi worms and consume a shit load of food up in this piece. First up... Goddamn AYCE Corean BBQ... Jesus, help me keep this shit down, I'm too obeast to run to the vomitorium every 20 minzies...

Iron Age.

Brisket. This joint is not the best Korean BBQ as in quality but in quantity, they are the king. They bring this giant bucket of curly frozen brisket and dumps a quarter of it on the grill. It totally freezes the thin steel grill instantly. Took like 10 minzies to heat back up. But once it got going it was non stop meat shoveling to the snout.

Spicy and Garlic Pork Belly. Shit, if you're gonna do it, do it right with both flavors. They come rolled up like a bandage, you unroll it on the grill. Cook it up a bit and cut it up with the crappy scissors they give you.

Octopus. I love the octopus here. They are the perfect size, not too small and not too large.. Just right in the middle. After I ate all of the octopus, more meat came out... Iron Age Soy Beef Steak, bulgogi, Hawaiian bulgogi, hanging tender... Shit is ridiculous. If you want mass meat quantities, this is the place for you.


Taiwan Special (Yong He Zhi Jia).

Soup dumps. They are a fucking logistical mess up in this piece but the soup dumps have been getting better and better... If you ever get your order on time. The skin is thinner and the amount of soup is generous. This is my goto soup dumps for the time being... Until they fuck it up. Which we all know they will sooner or later when it gets invaded by the outlanders.

Leek Pie. Giant leek piece stuffed with a ton of leek and clear noodle filler.

Lo Mein. I can't believe I got LO MEIN... Where's the fucking chop suey and egg foo young, douchetool? Jesus, I know... But I saw the lo mein on my first visit and it looked damn decent... Not with that ultra yellow egg noodles you find at Chino hole in the walls. These noodles were thick and round... It was a good dish, pretty much Chinese style.


Highland Bakery.

Ultimate Fried Chicken Sandwich. Every time I see fried chicken, I get giddy... But I get skeptical when I see claims of having the ultimate fried chicken. I take that as a challenge... This looked impressive at first glance, but I was more deflated than a blow up sheep sex doll after lifting the hood up and seeing this little prick of a fried chicken. It was a small piece of fried chicken arranged methodically over a chicken nugget to build height and girth. The breading/crust was crispy and crunchy, not too thick and seasoned nicely but the thin chicken flesh inside was dry and a bit chewy. The focaccia bread was ultra greasy, I pressed the top of the bread with my finger and it just oozed out grease and pooled around my finger. The pimento cheese spread was like a watered down mayo that had the viscosity like the drip.

French Toast. This was a half order... And it was a pretty full rack on this plate... Kinda like the older tatted up server with the giant rack with triple Ds or Hercules that came over from Rising Son. Some overly sensitive people will say making fun of their staff is not nice... Well, get the fuck over it pussies, the world is not nice. But we all know that no one hires her for a front of the house position and expect customers to not gawk at it. You're just asking for attention, don't be a retarded ass luge. Speaking of ass luge... This challah french toast was huge for a half order and it was pretty decent... If you wanted pure filler in your pouch. I don't know if this version of french toast was even dipped in eggwash because it was barely noticeable or present in taste. The brown sugar butter sauce was insanely sweet, obviously... But did the trick for this thick ass bread. It's ok to try once but definitely not a keeper for future visits... If I ever come back here. It just ain't that good. White people with their screaming demon spawns love this joint.


1Kept.

Pork Belly. Ultra crispy skin and juicy fatty belly. The grits paired well with it.

Empanadas. Filled with smoked meat... Real tasty.

Gnocchi. Still one of the best sleeper dishes here.

Pork Chop. This is one giant hunk of manmeat. I have already said this before many times, they might not have the most adventurous menu, but this joint is putting out consistently tasty dishes over and over again. And it's reliably good.


Char.

Kimchi Fried Rice. Looks nice doesn't it? Yeah, it was good. Mash that runny yolk around. Get it.

Japchae. I had a couple bowls of this.. first one was too salty, the second was too peppery... Both were still good but it's all part of the opening weeks and tweaks. Also sampled pork belly, pancakes, tongue and a few other nibbles. This place will do well here in this area, there's nothing like it around here.


Brush.

Nigiri. One of the best sushi joints in the city... Look at the quality of this shit. Damn good.

Sashimi. Jesus, I can eat like 6 orders of this plate. It's ok, though, sooshee is healthy for you... Eat away, mercury is just a planet.

Sweet Shrimp. I love the special edition sweet shrimp that I have created here. Sweet shrimp nigiri with deep fried whole shell- body and all that goodies inside the head. No one can get this except me... SUCKAZ!

Japanese Whisky and Beer Chaser. Their booze menu has a nice selection of Japanese whisky but they ain't cheap.


Wagaya.

 

Takoyaki. This is one of the best spots to grab a quick quality Japanese bite in town... These takoyaki balls didn't disappoint. Curly wavy bonito flakes still scares the shit outta gaijins... I love it.

Sashimi and Udon. Their "bento" combo sets are the best deal in town. There's more than enough vittles here to fill you up even though it doesn't look like it.

Tonkotsu and Tonkatsu. This will fucking fill you up, no problemo, ese. The sodium content will make you fat and bloated and I love it. Go home ASAP and hibernate in your food coma.

Tonkotsu up close and personal... Right into my facehole. It's not the best tonkotsu in town but for what it is and the convenience factor, I'll take this any day.


Truman.

Crab Cakes. Wet, gummy, minced, tasteless. Remoulade was even worse than wet spackle. These crab cakes were made in advance and the bread crumb filler just basically turned it into mush. The watercress were all wilted, prolly from sitting under the heat lamp.

Burger.  It's not a bad burger but it wasn't crave worthy, either... It was just there for filler while drinking booze. The house made chips were pretty good, though... Until the sauce came out.

Gorganzola Sauce, Tomato and Avocado Salad. That cheese sauce was all cream and unseasoned with just bits of gorganzola melted in there. The T&A salad didn't deserve a dollar for that dance. It was all just so pre-school level. They said that they are revamping the entire menu in the next couple weeks... Who the fuck knows... But this current menu really sucks ass big time. The bar is ok.


Rice Mac.

Lo Mein. YES. I am a deplorable and love me some low rent Chino grub sometimes... Especially, after drinking whiskey heavily all night long and getting totally ass fucked by it. The only thing that brings you back to life is slutty Chino vittles... There's something mystical about their sorcery ways. Look, it ain't real Chinese food but shit, dude, this was tasty as fuck when your head is pounding brick walls and fat broads... Worse part is cuddling with the sweaty fat beast afterwards and you have to gnaw your arm off underneath it just to escape.

Thai Basil. Seriously, this was on the menu... THAI food. C'mon, we know better... But my drunk ass can't comprehend what the fuck a platypus is right now let alone authentic Thai grub... Is it a honey badger that fucked a duck? Is this chicken or cat in this dish... Who the fuck knows, just pass me the damn "Thai" food, I'm starving... Seriously, this tasted so good going down but it came out like a raging liger locked up in a cage for days. I would prolly get it again... Drunk pouches don't ever learn.


Staplehouse.

This happened awhile ago for their BBQ shindig... But I still wanted to share to the world or to my one fan like how Kim Kardashian shares a pic of her $4 million ring. It was packed (good for them), I got the fuck in early and got the fuck out ASAP after I ate... The pouch doesn't like large crowds staring at it's girthy midsection. I know it's all from admiration but I'm shy and fragile like a delicate flower... I need my safe pouch space.


Can y'all believe that there was no Popeyes on this post.... Until next time, deplorables... Squirt.