Nexto

The goddamn ramen trend has ramped up in the second half of the year in this one horse town... You got Jinya, Hijime, Ton Ton, Wagaya, Shoya, Ginya, Raku and Brush are all doing ramen and there's more joints doing ramen that's not even on this list... Even that Makan has just turned their fake dim sum joint into a full fledged ramen joint. And now the newest entrant is Nexto... By Concentrics and Mihoko Obunai as lead consultant/chef/whatever. I know what y'all are saying... Aren't we all fucking tired of ramen already? Fuck yeah... But this fat fuck can't pass up a local corporate resto group that is attempting to do a cuisine that is totally out of their element. And the line cooks kinda prove it... There is not one Asian on the entire line, but there's one Mexican dude that kinda looks Asian, so does that count? At least they didn't have the white bros instruct you on how to properly eat a bowl of ramen. I went into this new ramen joint with zero expectations, just being neutral and see where the noodle falls. I like the space... A converted warehouse with an industrial feel, simple and functional without the outdated gaudy glitz and glamour next door at Two. Jesus, I haven't been to a Concentrics resto in years... Will I continue to stay away after a visit to their newest ramen joint? Only one way to find out...
Sat at the ramen bar to witness the action and drink in all the glory of a ramen production line... I know it's their opening week but sadly, I witnessed a few no no's and an awfully a lot of wasted money going into the garbage. The first fuck up was watching a dude toss out at least a dozen steamed buns right into the garbage, why the fuck would you put in that many and toss it all out a few minzies later, only to watch him make the same mistake again by dumping in an entire bag of new buns into the steamer. What the fuck, yo? A steamed bun takes about 60 seconds to come to temp, it's not like you're cooking the fucking thing from scratch. Then I noticed that all the ramen broth are in containers on a steam table, so they are not at the right temperature as it really should be. I watched them construct a bowl of ramen and it was the messiest and most inefficient way you can do it. They splash in 3 to 4 mid size ladles of broth into the bowl and some of it doesn't even make it in there, then let it sit there to chill out until the ramen noodle was done taking it's hot water bath, then they slide the noodles right into the bowl and splashes a quarter of the broth out of the bowl which they don't give you that much broth to begin with. After that they start piling on the toppings, then comes the soft boiled egg where one dude uses a string tied to one end and stretches it out to slice the egg by hand... Novel idea but the dude kept on cutting the eggs in 1/3's so it renders one half too small and the other half too big, then he tosses both into the garbage and starts over again... I watched him throw away at least 3 eggs for one bowl... No fucking wonder why they are charging $2 for an extra half an egg, to compensate for the amount of eggs they throw into the gutter. In short, put the steaming ramen into the bowl first then the hot broth and finish it off with the toppings, it will keep the bowl temp higher til delivery.
Jesus, oh, baby Jesus... What a shitshow so far. This is one fucking helluva start, even for week one. I know there is an adjustment factor for any new resto but for fuck sake, this was total amateur hour, it's like they had little to no training or they have never cooked in a commercial kitchen before, ever. They were spazzing out during a small rush and Mihoko was nowhere to be seen (she would appear to expedite for a couple minzies when it calmed down and then poof! Gonzo, when it picked up again). Let me repeat what I said before, there was not one Asian on the line making Japanese food and this was an open kitchen...  I don't even know who the damn chef was here. Dude, put up a curtain, STAT... Perhaps one with the Wizard of Oz on it. I don't know, maybe the Concentrics corporate crew are already butting heads with her. I could go on and on about their kitchen logistics and inefficiencies but let's get to the good stuff... The real beat off material on the menu... Let's start off with just a sampling... I don't want to squirt on them too much... Yet.

Unagi & Chips Buns- Crispy Unagi, Tobiko Mayo, Sansho, Tare. First off, don't fucking ever drizzle the ultra sticky sweet sauce all over the bun, you gotta pick this shit up to eat it, mofos... And you will get all that shit all over your nose picking fingaz which you will be licking off later. But... This bun was actually quite good. The fried unagi was crispy and delicate and all that shit they toss on top worked well with it. It was a very tasty bun, but $10 for two might be a stretch for me to get it again in the future.

JFC- Caramelized Garlic, Ginger Soy, Togarashi, Yuzu Ranch. 3 whole wings and they were quite jumbo in size. Sizzling fresh from the fryer, these wings had a nice crispy crackly thin crust and piping juicy hot inside. I wished they use a better togarashi instead of the cheap powder stuff because it didn't give it the little kick and spiciness it deserved... Which made the yuzu ranch kinda useless to lessen the heat one would expect from some togarashi dusted JFC wings. They were a tasty wing overall but really nothing too Japanese about them.

Nasu Dengaku- Saikyo Miso Eggplant, Yuzu Kosho, Sesame. The eggplant sounded great on paper but it might as well have been rolled up toilet paper on the plate. $8 for 6 small rolls of eggplant that were basically tasteless and dry. I thought it would come with some type of sauce or drizzle to offset the boredom but obviously they like to serve this bland. Skip it... And don't you fucking dare to use the money on the kale salad in here. Just don't.

Gyokai Yuzu Shoyu Ramen- Rock Shrimp, Scallop, Ikura, Egg, Wakame. The scallop was a nice size and executed well, the couple of pieces of rock shrimp was chintzy, make it 3 at least like normal restos do. The got the ikura down but where was the fucking egg? My guess would be in the garbage but maybe they thought the ikura would double as the "egg" ingredient to the bowl... Got fucked, again. The noodles tasted like Sun Noodles, I forgot to ask them, but they were pretty damn good, toothy and bouncy, just the right texture in your mouth. The shoyu broth was fine, nothing spectacular, very standard version but a bite muted on the finish. But as time elapses all the ingredients in the bowl transform the broth into a more fishy flavor. It's an acceptable seafood shoyu ramen but nothing craveworthy to come back for on this bowl. My only major complaint was that the temperature of the broth was lukewarm at best and this was a $14 bowl, everyone knows that the ramen broth needs to be piping hot.

Kurobuta Tonkotsu- Pork Belly, Memma, Egg, Scallions. Looks like they changed it up a bit and finally put on a tonkotsu bowl on there... I assume they received a lot of requests for one. The tonkotsu is prolly the most popular broth because of the demand from all the media hype across the masses. It's also the most time consuming if you're gonna do it right... I was truly fucking nervous about their tonkotsu, but the pouch instinct already knew how it was gonna be... Diluted. I mean it tasted like a 50/50 dilution with chicken stock, the collagen and stickiness was kinda there, barely, but after a few spoonfuls, you could taste some more on your lips. This let down of a lukewarm broth does not warrant a $14 price tag... Especially, the amount they give you and the amount that splashes out from dumping the noodles in after. The pork belly was interesting, they sear it on the flat top before it goes into the bowl, cute and pretty tasty because of the crispy texture and tenderness inside. The memma was kinda a disappointment when I saw them take out a giant vacuum bag of it to refill the prep tray. The soft egg was ice cold but spot-on on the runniness inside. The ramen noodles were just as good as the last bowl, toothy and springy, not straight nor curly, just in between. Would I get this again? Prolly not at this stage of the game, it needs a lot of work to agree with the $14 price tag. I would stick with Ton Ton's excellent version at $13, until they perform some voodoo magic shit on their tonkotsu broth here. I also hate the soup spoons they use here... They are fucking giant, thick and heavy and you can't get it under all the stuff.

The changing of the bowls on the menu.

Overall, I like the look and feel of the place, they did a good job there, there's no distractions to take you away from the food... But there lies the problem. You are now even more focused on the execution of the menu. I saw some items on the binchotan/robata grill that looked ok but nothing really stood out except the lofty prices. There were some tasty vittles on the hot apps but the ramen bowls were pretty much of a let down on this early visit. They need to revamped the ramen construction process, they need to understand that the most important part of the bowl is the broth, it's always about the broth, not the toppings, not even the ramen itself but that's a close second... Remember- noodles, hot broth then toppings and get that shit out to the slurper, STAT. Maybe I'll try it again in a month or two and hopefully they have made the necessary tweaks to dazzle me, squeeze the pouch and tickle my balls. Right now, it's still just an experiment... Especially, with the inexperienced line cooks (whom are prolly paid next to nothing, bless their hearts)... And stop throwing out food, motherfuckers. Oh, and btw... I hate that stupid ramen burger trend but my one fan will know I will still eat it and report back with the pouch findings.

828 W10 Ralph McGill Blvd
Atlanta, GA 30306
http://www.nextoatl.com/

Foxtrot Liquor Bar

Ahhh... Anyone remember Cosmopolitan Lounge back in the days... One half of the merged Cosmo Lava Lounge. What a shitshow that joint was... I think I had fun there through all those years in the mid 2000's, I just don't seem to remember much during those times with all the booze, broads and club treats that blanketed the midtown club scene back then... Atlanta was at a time and place where the beer flowed like wine, where beautiful women instinctively flocked like the salmon of Capistrano. But those days are over, we grew up and grew a muffin top... And Cosmo is now no more. Now, comes a new era, a new scene, a new space... A new joint called the Foxtrot Liquor Bar. The inside has been totally revamped and steered more towards the sophisticated cocktail crowd... Don't worry, the guidos and ginzos will still have their fist pumping club next door at Lava with all the roofie laced cosmo drinks they desire but seriously, what self-deprecating schmuck has been there since the mid 2000's... Let's get back to Foxtrot for a minute. The interior with an old English fox hunt club feel is warmer, cozier and unpretentious than the previous club lounge space. They also have an outdoor bar with plenty of seating and you get to watch all the mooks next door doing the white man's overbite to Drake's Hotline Bling over the barrier of bushes... It's like listening to Forrest fucking Gump sing, makes you want to put 26/30 shrimp in your ears. They got a pretty decent cocktail menu/program and a limited food menu... Let's sample a bite or two.

Duck Confit Eggrolls, housemade kimchi, spicy Chinese mustard sauce. For a gwailo version, it wasn't half bad... Had decent flavor inside and the fried blistered wrapper was crispy. I didn't witness any kimchi on the dish and I don't know about the Chino mustard sauce... That didn't add much to enhance the eggrolls. They can stand on their own without additional additives.

House Made Pierogies, collard greens, mashed taters, ham hock broth, black-eyed pea salad, pickled veggies. Ok, these were good, dam decent... Just needed a couple more pierogies on the dish. It's comfort food right here.

Poutine, short rib, crispy home fries, housemade farmer's cheese, beef gravy. The poutine is back! But this doesn't look like one at all... The giant cubes of fried taters were good just by themselves but as a poutine, it doesn't work. No one wants to be cutting them up into bite size pieces in a poutine, it's like finger food... You just want to jam fork fulls of it into your facegash without having to think too hard about it, repeatedly. The flavor and ingredients were all there, just don't go too bold on the giant tater blocks.

Hoisin Glazed Lollipop Wings, toasted sesame and scallion. You know this is gonna be sweet with that hoisin glaze... And it was but cheekan lollipops are just plain good. Even though it was a bit on the sweet side, this was still totally edible... Especially, while sucking down some decently made cocktails.

Roasted Cauliflower, smoked chile aioli, charred pepper. This was the surprise of the night... C'mon, pouch, a boring plain Jane dish of cauliflower? ...So you may think, motherfuckers. But this was simple and toothy and hit all the right notes while imbibing on some boozey liquids. Good side dish.

I like what they have done to the space, I like the cocktail menu and the food menu, it's not over the top with a million items and outrageous prices... It feels just right for this space and vibe. The bartenders are not cocksuckers and the cook does a good job with the small dedicated menu. Since, we had a blast doing the Pokemon shot at Thai 26, we triple dog dared the bartender to make a Metroid shot that we made up from thin drunken air... Who the fuck knows what was in that but that shit fucked me up. But is this place that good? Fuck no, they still got some kinks to work out but I think they will address all the minor problems without any issues... The only thing I worry about for this joint is will they get enough support and traffic from the surrounding hood with all the new apartment buildings that have gone up and going up. They are lucky that they are not right on Crescent or else it will be ghetto real quick. I really don't hang out in this part of midtown anymore because it is douche central but I would come back here every now and then just to see how they're doing and report back to my one fan.

46 13th St NE
Atlanta, GA 30309

Arby's Smokehouse Pork Belly Sandwich

Oh lordy, I can't believe I'm doing this... But what the hell, YOLO but my bowels will torture me for weeks... Fuck it, just do it, pouch...
The pork belly trend has come and gone from the front lines of the hipster resto scene... But that doesn't mean it's considered a redheaded stepchild, now... No fucking way, bacon is always good. And good for you, science has proved it, I saw articles on Facebook that said so. When the trendy resto scene has purged the pork belly as their star on the menu, you can always rely on fast food chains to pick up that slack or play cleanup hitter... They are like the 12th man on the team and the last to know about current food trends. They love suckering you in with their gimmicky concoctions after the fact. Shit, didn't TGIF just introduced their new Korean Tacos... Now, for a limited time only, Arby's has come up with a Smokehouse Pork Belly Sando. For the love of baby Jesus' stigmata hands... I hardly eat fast food sandwiches but when there's a gimmick being offered and it involves bacon, y'all know the pouch will fucking do it for his one fan... That motherfucker has been egging me on to eat that shit that no person in their right mind would... I'm like a fucking guinea pig... Keyword is pig. I'm not worried, though, Obama said he will take care of me if I get sick, he promised. Let's take a look at the nutritional info, shall we...

Arby's Smokehouse Pork Belly Sandwich (248g)
Calories - 860 (from Fat - 550)
Fat - 61g (Saturated Fat - 23g)
Sodium - 1540mg
Carbs - 49g (Sugar - 13g)
Protein - 29g

This is for one goddamn sando?! Sweet Jesus... Why the fuck am I doing this again? My sphincter is gonna give a whole new meaning to the word "Trainspotting"... This friggin sando better not look like the worst toilet in Scotland. It's suppose to look like this...

Doesn't look too bad, does it? Let's see if the PR pic is anything close to the real thing...

The box looks ok so far... Looks like it can hold a large sando in there. I am fucking scared, yo... First time ever that I'm afraid to spread open a big box and eat what's inside... Well, there was that one husky girl I picked up once down in Miami, let's just say she wasn't all that savory... But she did have a bag of pupusas, though.

This doesn't look very shiny and new. Looks kinda depressing... Wait, is this a mirror? This sad sando and the pouch will get along real well, crying ourselves to sleep in a church basement somewhere... My life is one disappointment after another. The star split top bun looks like an Xbox that was strapped inside a hot car seat all day.

What the fuck is this?! I don't think any amount of antibiotics can cure this... I can't tell if it looks more like Rosie O'Donnell's juicy brown eye or the Predator's gnarly gash... I bet Arnold has nailed both and kissed it on the mouths. But seriously, this does not look healthy at all... The fried onion rings have fused together with the BBQ sauce and that single serving slice of "cheddar" cheese is the worse case of donkey smegma I have ever seen. But what's that underneath Michael Moore's slobber... Is that two slabs of pork belly under there? Seriously, yo, there's actually two real slices of pork belly under that mess. Peel that yellow placenta away and you will find a couple of pretty thick slices of pork belly but they didn't criss-cross it like in their pic. The hogs were about 3/4" thick and in some countries that would be considered above average manhood. Put the shit all back together and prepared myself to take the first bite... I'm staring at this thing and thinking about what it will look like when it comes out the other end... Shit, it might just come back out the way it went in from the involuntary gag reflexes like a 16 year old just starting out in the "biz"... Perhaps I should spit on it so it goes down easier. Godfuckindammit, just do it pouch, stop being a geriatric vag, inhale that hog already... We know you want to. Took a big bite. The bun was sturdy but yet soft and forgiving. The BBQ sauce was ultra sweet and muted the processed cheese slice. The onion rings just disintegrated within that mess. The pork belly slices were smoky and fatty... I mean big pieces of fat like the real thing but I spit the fat out, it was just too gelatinous in this sando, it was prolly the luck of the draw on the cuts. I couldn't believe it was actually smoky like real smoke not liquid smoke. I gotta admit, they used real pork belly slices in there and they weren't chintzy about it either. If I had more meatier slices it woulda been a lot better because you're not spending time pulling pieces of gristly fat outta your facehole. The bun and pork belly was fine (as much as you can say for a fast food dump) but the rest of the ensemble was merely a distraction to the total package. I'm somewhat impressed by the real pork belly but at the end of the day, sitting on the toilet, I wouldn't do it again. Once is more than enough... Until they come out with a ramen char siu sando.

Y'all, know that the pouch can't live on a sando alone, it needs side snacks. Look at this nasty spread... Even the cheekan fingaz were giving me the bird. Ok, the curly fries are decent, the chicken tenders are crispy but dry as all fuck, no wonder you get so obeast eating this shit, you have to dip those tenders in the HFCS sauce repeatedly just to wash it down. Why the fuck did I do this... I never take requests. I hate you motherfuckers... Look at that pic, my bowels are regurgitating that slop back up like I'm trying to feed a baby bird. It's all going to be Popeyes reviews for the next month, dicks.

Scooby Pouch Snacks

My name is Marsupial Pouch and I am addicted to food... Holy fuck... I have been eating non-stop lately that I haven't had time to write up all the shit that has gone from MTA (mouth to ass)... I feel like a pouch centipede. So much grub and vittles and so little time... And I can't stop consuming in mass quantities. Let's face it, I am a fat fucking crass slob with awful grammar and writing skills... My fingaz are so bloated that I can't even type, fat fingering 4 keys at a time... And they're greasy, too. There's no denying my healthy girth, I need to butter my hips just to get my pants on over my adult diapers. They say children never lie, so, when they point their fingers at me and say to their parents, "why is there a three toed sloth in here eating all our Chuck E Cheese pizza, mommy?"... I just stand there in all my glory, all proud and shit with drool dripping off my 3rd chin. Don't hate, motherfuckers... Congratulate. The amount of food I consume is uncanny... Speaking of cans... Time to open up a can of gummi worms and consume a shit load of food up in this piece. First up... Goddamn AYCE Corean BBQ... Jesus, help me keep this shit down, I'm too obeast to run to the vomitorium every 20 minzies...

Iron Age.

Brisket. This joint is not the best Korean BBQ as in quality but in quantity, they are the king. They bring this giant bucket of curly frozen brisket and dumps a quarter of it on the grill. It totally freezes the thin steel grill instantly. Took like 10 minzies to heat back up. But once it got going it was non stop meat shoveling to the snout.

Spicy and Garlic Pork Belly. Shit, if you're gonna do it, do it right with both flavors. They come rolled up like a bandage, you unroll it on the grill. Cook it up a bit and cut it up with the crappy scissors they give you.

Octopus. I love the octopus here. They are the perfect size, not too small and not too large.. Just right in the middle. After I ate all of the octopus, more meat came out... Iron Age Soy Beef Steak, bulgogi, Hawaiian bulgogi, hanging tender... Shit is ridiculous. If you want mass meat quantities, this is the place for you.


Taiwan Special (Yong He Zhi Jia).

Soup dumps. They are a fucking logistical mess up in this piece but the soup dumps have been getting better and better... If you ever get your order on time. The skin is thinner and the amount of soup is generous. This is my goto soup dumps for the time being... Until they fuck it up. Which we all know they will sooner or later when it gets invaded by the outlanders.

Leek Pie. Giant leek piece stuffed with a ton of leek and clear noodle filler.

Lo Mein. I can't believe I got LO MEIN... Where's the fucking chop suey and egg foo young, douchetool? Jesus, I know... But I saw the lo mein on my first visit and it looked damn decent... Not with that ultra yellow egg noodles you find at Chino hole in the walls. These noodles were thick and round... It was a good dish, pretty much Chinese style.


Highland Bakery.

Ultimate Fried Chicken Sandwich. Every time I see fried chicken, I get giddy... But I get skeptical when I see claims of having the ultimate fried chicken. I take that as a challenge... This looked impressive at first glance, but I was more deflated than a blow up sheep sex doll after lifting the hood up and seeing this little prick of a fried chicken. It was a small piece of fried chicken arranged methodically over a chicken nugget to build height and girth. The breading/crust was crispy and crunchy, not too thick and seasoned nicely but the thin chicken flesh inside was dry and a bit chewy. The focaccia bread was ultra greasy, I pressed the top of the bread with my finger and it just oozed out grease and pooled around my finger. The pimento cheese spread was like a watered down mayo that had the viscosity like the drip.

French Toast. This was a half order... And it was a pretty full rack on this plate... Kinda like the older tatted up server with the giant rack with triple Ds or Hercules that came over from Rising Son. Some overly sensitive people will say making fun of their staff is not nice... Well, get the fuck over it pussies, the world is not nice. But we all know that no one hires her for a front of the house position and expect customers to not gawk at it. You're just asking for attention, don't be a retarded ass luge. Speaking of ass luge... This challah french toast was huge for a half order and it was pretty decent... If you wanted pure filler in your pouch. I don't know if this version of french toast was even dipped in eggwash because it was barely noticeable or present in taste. The brown sugar butter sauce was insanely sweet, obviously... But did the trick for this thick ass bread. It's ok to try once but definitely not a keeper for future visits... If I ever come back here. It just ain't that good. White people with their screaming demon spawns love this joint.


1Kept.

Pork Belly. Ultra crispy skin and juicy fatty belly. The grits paired well with it.

Empanadas. Filled with smoked meat... Real tasty.

Gnocchi. Still one of the best sleeper dishes here.

Pork Chop. This is one giant hunk of manmeat. I have already said this before many times, they might not have the most adventurous menu, but this joint is putting out consistently tasty dishes over and over again. And it's reliably good.


Char.

Kimchi Fried Rice. Looks nice doesn't it? Yeah, it was good. Mash that runny yolk around. Get it.

Japchae. I had a couple bowls of this.. first one was too salty, the second was too peppery... Both were still good but it's all part of the opening weeks and tweaks. Also sampled pork belly, pancakes, tongue and a few other nibbles. This place will do well here in this area, there's nothing like it around here.


Brush.

Nigiri. One of the best sushi joints in the city... Look at the quality of this shit. Damn good.

Sashimi. Jesus, I can eat like 6 orders of this plate. It's ok, though, sooshee is healthy for you... Eat away, mercury is just a planet.

Sweet Shrimp. I love the special edition sweet shrimp that I have created here. Sweet shrimp nigiri with deep fried whole shell- body and all that goodies inside the head. No one can get this except me... SUCKAZ!

Japanese Whisky and Beer Chaser. Their booze menu has a nice selection of Japanese whisky but they ain't cheap.


Wagaya.

 

Takoyaki. This is one of the best spots to grab a quick quality Japanese bite in town... These takoyaki balls didn't disappoint. Curly wavy bonito flakes still scares the shit outta gaijins... I love it.

Sashimi and Udon. Their "bento" combo sets are the best deal in town. There's more than enough vittles here to fill you up even though it doesn't look like it.

Tonkotsu and Tonkatsu. This will fucking fill you up, no problemo, ese. The sodium content will make you fat and bloated and I love it. Go home ASAP and hibernate in your food coma.

Tonkotsu up close and personal... Right into my facehole. It's not the best tonkotsu in town but for what it is and the convenience factor, I'll take this any day.


Truman.

Crab Cakes. Wet, gummy, minced, tasteless. Remoulade was even worse than wet spackle. These crab cakes were made in advance and the bread crumb filler just basically turned it into mush. The watercress were all wilted, prolly from sitting under the heat lamp.

Burger.  It's not a bad burger but it wasn't crave worthy, either... It was just there for filler while drinking booze. The house made chips were pretty good, though... Until the sauce came out.

Gorganzola Sauce, Tomato and Avocado Salad. That cheese sauce was all cream and unseasoned with just bits of gorganzola melted in there. The T&A salad didn't deserve a dollar for that dance. It was all just so pre-school level. They said that they are revamping the entire menu in the next couple weeks... Who the fuck knows... But this current menu really sucks ass big time. The bar is ok.


Rice Mac.

Lo Mein. YES. I am a deplorable and love me some low rent Chino grub sometimes... Especially, after drinking whiskey heavily all night long and getting totally ass fucked by it. The only thing that brings you back to life is slutty Chino vittles... There's something mystical about their sorcery ways. Look, it ain't real Chinese food but shit, dude, this was tasty as fuck when your head is pounding brick walls and fat broads... Worse part is cuddling with the sweaty fat beast afterwards and you have to gnaw your arm off underneath it just to escape.

Thai Basil. Seriously, this was on the menu... THAI food. C'mon, we know better... But my drunk ass can't comprehend what the fuck a platypus is right now let alone authentic Thai grub... Is it a honey badger that fucked a duck? Is this chicken or cat in this dish... Who the fuck knows, just pass me the damn "Thai" food, I'm starving... Seriously, this tasted so good going down but it came out like a raging liger locked up in a cage for days. I would prolly get it again... Drunk pouches don't ever learn.


Staplehouse.

This happened awhile ago for their BBQ shindig... But I still wanted to share to the world or to my one fan like how Kim Kardashian shares a pic of her $4 million ring. It was packed (good for them), I got the fuck in early and got the fuck out ASAP after I ate... The pouch doesn't like large crowds staring at it's girthy midsection. I know it's all from admiration but I'm shy and fragile like a delicate flower... I need my safe pouch space.


Can y'all believe that there was no Popeyes on this post.... Until next time, deplorables... Squirt.

J's Mini Hot Pot Deluxe

The old "New" Mini Hot Pot that was here before which seemed like forever was just ok, it wasn't bad but nothing stood out for me in quality and taste to put it on my rotation. Shit, hot pot, shabu shabu or whatever else you wanna call it is such a no brainer that even a retard can do it at home for pennies on the dollar... And all in the comforts of your pajamas. After eating a huge cauldron of liquid, meat, veggies and noodles, you just want to hibernate in your food coma state for the rest of the day. Now, a new hot pot owner has taken over the space... By J and it's no ordinary hot pot, it's now, DELUXE. I don't know how deluxe a hot pot joint can be, unless they're using real kobe or mishima wagyu beef... But that would just be a waste of premium meat in a hot pot. The space is modern with bright colors and it gives you the feel that it's clean... It's very cartoonish in a fobby kinda way. Ok, I'm curious about their slop now... Let's go get bloated and be hungry in two hours.

Cornucopia of shit in a bowl. Don't let visual of abundance fool ya... The bottom is fucking loaded with two and a quarter handfuls of cabbage. But this bowl of crap is more than enough ruffage for one person... Even a great big fat person like the pouch.

Beef Bone Broth, spicy. I got suckered in like a douchebag with ordering the spicy broth for an extra $2... First of, this broth wasn't even spicy, I think they just threw in some tomato paste and Valentina Salsa Picante. I coulda just made my broth spicy for free with all the hot sauces/paste at the sauce bar. Not only am I a fat fuck, I am also smart as a bag of hammers... And I want my two dollars back! What's that turd doing in my broth... It looked a possum took a deuce nugget in there but the Le Creuset hot pot was cute, though... Don't forget to mix up your favorite blend of sauces to dip your meat in.

Setting up shop. Just start loading the cauldron with shit from the bowl to give it some flavor. Then the meats and shit. And proceed to shovel that slop into your facehole.

Pork Belly and Squid. The slices of pork belly and squid looked pretty fresh and tasted good.

Angus Brisket and Ribeye. The fancy cuts will cost you a few dollars more.

Beef Sirloin and Fish Cakes. The fish cake and beef combo works nicely as well.

The place looks modern, hip and clean... That should bring in the gwailos because they're scared of authentic ethic joints. The entire set up is fun and not scary to foreigners. Just go in and stuff your fat face. It ain't rocket science but it ain't a culinary destination, either. It's just fun for shits and giggles... And bring your cracker friends, they will love it and makes them feel like a world traveler.

4897 Buford Hwy NE #160
Chamblee, GA 30341
http://www.jsminihotpot.com/