The Eyetalian joint in this location before was pretty substandard even for the most pedestrian cuisine ever devised in America. Cibo Rustico lasted longer than Mirko Pasta had even hoped for. Even that shitty CiCi's wannabe Uncle Maddio's original location shuttered recently... Not a shred of evidence of it's existence left behind just like Mama Fu's before it. Man, there was a lot of garbage happening in these two locations. Wiped the slate clean and now this Indian street food concept has manifested itself into this cursed space. Can this ethnic cuisine become a success like La Parilla next door? Only if they're slinging Indian tacos in there... Oh, fuck, I just saw tacos on their menu. Will the Cafe Bombay peeps be able to rope in the dopes and do what Chai Pani has done to expand the paleface's limited and bland palate? Oh wait, wrong group of people but my one reader knows what I mean. Let's hop on the pouch like a coracle because this is gonna be one helluva ride.
First thing I see is the bar, good sign... Then I see the merchandizing on the back wall, I take back what I said about the good sign. Then I see that their drink specials are all BYOB... I don't know if that's a good thing or an insult. The menu is a mishmash of classics to fusion to the I don't know what the fuck that is. Hot dogs, hamburgers and tacos... Can you make it any easier for the pouch to slay your ass? But I guess you do have to dumb down and play dumb to the demographics in this area, after all they're goras.
Indian Fruity Pebbles. Greasy fried star shaped crackers... Speaking of which this place was about half full of them, not too shabby. I totally respect that they're trying to get the Indian cuisine out to the masses with this fusion-esque fun concept.
I love their craft cocktails... BYOB. I might need something hard to suck on if this grub sucks ass... Luckily, Giant Package (no punjab intended) is a couple doors down.
Samosa Trio. Veggie only (tater and peas) but still pretty decent. Could use a crispier shell but it was fine. The chutneys were sweet as expected. I was curious about the momo's but this isn't exactly a Nepalese joint (Himalayan Spice's momo sucked), even though momo's have become very popular in many parts of India. Maybe next time I'll be more adventurous like the whities here.
Vada Pav. I was surprised they had these because I lurv me some tater sliders... But these were flat instead of puffy tater balls that were expected. Not bad overall but if you want some good ones goto Gokul Sweets a couple miles away in India central. I would not get these again unless they changed it up.
Potato Masala Mash (Dosa). C'mon, can they really do a decent girthy dosa worthy for the pouch's facehole... All you have to do is just believe. Well, that only works sometimes... But this was not too shabby, I liked it and I can't believe it. This would be impressive to any gora that's sampling this cuisine for the first time. Shit, a table full of horny teenage girls were all giggling, moaning and shit when this light brown schlong appeared before them. God, what I would give to be back in high school again knowing what I know now like the little man in the boat and different yoga positions. I'll give them something to moan about like when I ask them to bring me another beer from the fridge.
Deconstructed Aloo Tikki Chat. Fuck, that damn "deconstructed" word got me... I am a sucker for dumbass culinary buzz words. Why would anyone expect anything to be deconstructed here... Wait, scratch that, everything about Indian cuisine no matter what region are all basically deconstructed. You have to put shit together before you even eat it. Decent flavors but not at all spicy... No tongue lashing here, you can do that later at home you perv. I wish they gave you a 3rd tater patty to soak up all that chick pea curry and chutney.
Thali Dinner - Rice, dal, salad, papadum, choopati, pickles, raita, dessert (kheer), veggie tikka masala and chicken vindaloo. The lunch with 1 entree for about $10 is more on point than the dinner with 2 entrees for $15. Still, you're gonna have to pay up for this area when your main demographics is the same as La Parilla. But for $15, it's worth a shot to see what their thali got going on. I did not dislike it but the vindaloo was weak, I was hoping for some heat... Prolly my fault for not asking for super spicy which might be challenging here anyways. But everything else was passable given the nature of this place. I can't expect anymore than what they're trying to be and that is being approachable to the non-tribal crowd.
Chinese Delhi - Chinatown Hakka Noodles with Chicken. I saw it on the fucking menu and I had to do it. This Indo-Chino fusion dish haunts my dreams. This dish gets fucked up so much because everyone has their own interpretation of what it should be. I mean it's a dish that you put whatever the fuck you want in there. It's the melting pot of crap in a bowl. So, how was this bowl of crap? I liked it.. If it was spicier even more so. It was not as bad as I thought it would be. Chinese Dhaba's version was greasy and tasted like it came out of a pig's trough. This version was not greasy, noodles didn't stick together and had decent flavors... Why am I saying good things about this? This is impossible. I kinda really liked it. Jesus, has my distinguished palate fall prey to the overpowering aura of the gringos next door? I don't know but let me eat this while I try to figure it out. Damn you, I had new words to use if this sucked ass.
Spices/Palate Cleansers and other weird shit that's not under a sneeze guard. I'm suspect of anything that has been sitting out next to the front door without any hazmat suit coverings... Unless it was fried chicken. Wait a minzie... WHY DON'T THEY HAVE FRIED CHICKEN up in this piece? Christ, Patel... Git that shit on the menu, STAT! At least I could use that for an excuse to come back here.
Ok, so this isn't authentic by any means but it's a good intro to this ethnic cuisine that so many people are reluctant to try. There's hits and misses from what I have sampled but those are minor details that could be worked out later on. This is like what I think an Indian family would serve at home at the kiddie table. There's enough of a foundation there in culture but twisted in a colorful, playful and non-spicy threatening kinda way to get the uninitiated and the hesitant palate to step inside and give it try. Hell, it's not like they are not trying here... They got tacos, burgers, hot dogs, fish n chips, wraps and enough of other Americanized shit in here that the whitest of whities can find something to nosh on. Even the funny sodas and drinks are gimmicky enough to lure any tourist in out of curiousity. C'mon, let's face it, goras have a stigma on authentic Indian grub, sometimes the smell alone can make the pouch regurg... This place is Disneyland compared to the stuff on Church Street a few miles away. The pouch is nice today like it just got a BJ or something... Take what you can get, Masti.
Until next time... And stop pushing the fucking mango lassi like at Panahar! Is that you, Mirza???
2945 North Druid Hills Rd
Atlanta, GA 30329
470-236-2784
2945 NORTH DRUID HILLS RD ATLANTA GA 30329
2945 NORTH DRUID HILLS RD ATLANTA GA 30329
http://www.mastiatlanta.com/
1 comment:
We ate here last night. Pleasantly surprised. There were some local Indians here, so I don't think it's nearly as bogus as La Parilla (good luck finding any Latinos eating there).
Nothing on the thali dinner had any heat. And it could really use more rice and another bread or two. But tasty overall. Love that sweet rice dessert drink.
We got their version of bhel purri (the first bhel on menu I think). It definitely had some medium heat to it, nice crunch. Try it if you go back. No way my mom and dad could have handled the heat in it.
Mirza junior didn't push the mango lassi on us too hard.
~mindspringyahoo
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