Monday, October 27, 2014

Little Alley Steak

Canton Street has become real popular with the suburbanites and soccer moms. This is like the hipster area of Roswell... Too bad everyone here is over 40 trying to be that cool kid with who has the most gaudy shit on and how can I top Stephanie's rhinestone boots and muffin top squeezing jeans I got at that over priced rag depot, Francesca's. Wait, what the fuck am I doing up here on a week night?! And why is this area so packed? Do these soccer moms and their slutty cougar friends work or what? Nevermind, y'all, know the answer to that... It rhymes with "On a street corner". But let's take a look at this popular steak house and see what all the fuss is about by the OTP breeders..

Roasted Bone Marrow Canoes. Looks more like horse boners to me but whatever... I'll still ate the shit outta them. They were pretty good, just wished they grilled the bread a little bit for that char flavor.

American Kobe Beef Tatare (Tartare). Nice cubes of fresh meat, hard to distinguish if it was American Kobe or just plain of good beef. Chintzy on the gaufrettes but the tartare was real tasty after mixing it all together.

Ribeye Prime Cut ("abundant marbling"). Hard to see if this was well marbled after it's been cooked even at medium rare but their presentation makes you think it will taste better.. They come out and serve this from the pan to your plate and then spoon all that extra buttery fat on top. I mean any ribeye will taste good swimming in all that fat but this one was pretty tasty. Perfect mid rare and melted in your piehole. No complaints from me.

Bone In NY Strip ("dry aged"). Not many places have dry aged with the specific days aged. This place sources all their meat from a purveyor in Chicago. That town does have some kick ass steaks and importing it to Roswell reflects in the price tag that you'll happily pay. Look at this hunk of man meat, bone in which will please the ladies and bears. Manmeat was perfect medium rare, beautiful red color inside and of course it melts like jizz in your mouth... Both are great for your skin tone I hear.

Creamed Corn. Too me it tasted like it was from a can, not that there's anything wrong with creamed corn from a can. I like that low rent shit.. Mix some parmesan cheese, shallots and butter in there and you got this tasty gruel.

Lobster Mac n Cheese, Mushroom Confit. Lobster mac coulda use a little more gooey and the shroom confit was spot on.

Asparagus. Yep, I definitely ate a spear or two... I smelt it in my daily awkward morning hard-on pee.

Crispy Brussels Sprouts, yuzu bernaise. It's fatty crispy B-sprouts, what's not too like. Douse it in that fatty mother sauce and you got a fat ass to compliment your muffin top.
 
Chocolate Bar. I don't know what the fuck this was but it supposedly had bacon in it.

Key Lime Pie. Placing a twisted lime slice on top makes not a key lime pie. This ain't no key lime pie. God damn, I hate desserts and shitty desserts makes me even angrier.

If you want a steak, go to a steak house... And this place delivered... For a hefty price. It ain't cheap if you go full retard.. And we went full Corky. But hey, life goes on. Tons of  meats, boners, sides, tons of whiskey and booze were had. If you're an entitled millenial, cougar, hooker or old rich white dude looking for some poon or manmeat... This is the joint for you. So, where do I belong on that list you ask? I'm a hooker of course... Me love you long time. Now, eat my meat.

Pump pump squirt.

955 Canton St.
Roswell, GA 30075
770-998-0440
http://littlealleysteak.fhfoodtradinggroup.com/


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