Thursday, April 21, 2011

Sophia's New York Style Pizza

Hello there, my fans, we got us a prime specimen of another place that call themselves "New York Style" pizza. There are many like it but this one is special. Real special. Like in shortbus special.

Once, it stood a place that had San Marzano tomatoes, fresh made 00 Caputo dough and fresh mozzarella... All the ingredients for a perfect pie but it fell short, real short in preparation, execution and quality control (meaning letting burnt up shit go out to customers). This place was called Rusto's. They tried and tried to get off the ground but once you put out shit product for customers who you think wouldn't know any better, you just can't take it back. Ever. First impression is everything, especially NY style pizza to me. So, what do they do? Sell it to the first sucka who thinks they're getting a steal because it's priced as cheap as their knock off Louis Vuitton sneakers.

Enters Sophia's NY Style Pizza, owners came from Brooklyn but has been in Atlanta for years and years. I think they've been down here too long and assimilated to the offerings of the Hut. Anyhoo, they basically bought this place as a turn key operation from the menu right down to the receipt with Rusto's name still on there.

Take a gander...
(BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!)

(Baffled)

Are you serious? People have to pay real money for this? And what happened to the center where the two bald spots are? Looks like someone rested their ball sack on it. Listen, if I'm gonna get Arabian goggled, get me drunk first.

(It's like looking up the skirt of a 12 yr old girl, not that I would know but that's what I hear.)

Not only did the top of the 'ZA looked disgraceful, but the bottom was as white as a drunk chick's nose in the bathroom of my favorite nightspot. It was barely edible so I tried snorting the slice. Failed. Ok, ok, how did it taste? Undercooked. The scarce sauce was made with cheap oxidized red wine. The cheese was cheap low moisture shredded farce-arella. The dough was flat and unleavened, oh wait, it was passover wasn't it? Add all that shit up and you get Eazy Bake crappizza. Actually, I've had better pizza out of one made by my 2 yr old nephew.

Ok, while the pizza was an abomination, the owners were really nice. But we know where nice guys finish... Suckered into a dead business. I feel bad for them but I felt worse for my pouch. The comedic relief was when he asked me to open the box and give him my initial impression of said pizza. One look and I told him it needed more time in the oven and char since the bottom was totally white and undercooked. His reply, "I hope you enjoy it."

I sure will, pal... I sure will. Then my ass imploded.

Flush.

1/2 Star. (for the nice box it came in)

2100A Cheshire Bridge Road
Atlanta, GA 30324
404-474-9650

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

*blink*

Oz's gluten-free dough looks (and I suspect tastes) far better. That's an achievement.

Amusing how the CAPTCHA for this is "terable".

Unknown said...

Do u have a twitter or fb that i can follow ur reviews and writings through kbdldg@gmail.com

Unknown said...

Is that Boboli thin crust ?!!