Monday, February 8, 2010

Spoon Eastside

This is a perfect example of what Americanized grub is... The words "Thai Hot" is as hot as the paper they are printed on. The menu for the masses is so textbook, Raving Blands should franchise them like Flying Shizcuit.

The first location in downtown went down hill pretty much right after they opened. This second location pretty much stayed the same since they opened... At the bottom. I just love how every God damn Thai resto in Atlanta (ITP or OTP) discloses on their menu that if you order Thai Hot, it's your responsibility. Ah, yeah, no shit Sherlock... That's why I have to ask for it at least 5 times to get it through your dense noggin. Please make it the hottest you can... Ever. But what do I get in return? Nothing but a bowl of tepid Exorcist vomit. Isn't it your responsibility as a Thai resto to make shit spicy? I've had spicier Green Slurpees at 7Eleven.

Basil rolls - WTF are these things? Toilet paper rolls for Monchhichis'? Seriously, they looked like mini plastic Thai California rolls. I'm baffled.

Chicken satay - Everyone loves meat on a stick... Except these. They were over cooked, dry, chewy and drenched in satay sauce as a cover up. Btw- Sauce on the side bitches, I like to double dip my meat.

Fried tofu - Can you say store bought? You can almost taste the freezer burn if it wasn't deep fwied to Holy Hell... Holla! Crunch.

Tom yum soup - I think they did the pee pee dance in my bowl. Yum? I don't think so numb nuts. Bland as the corn in my shit. I've had tastier rusty pipe water. Slurp.

Coconut soup - Let's just say it was cloudy white and liquidity. Now, go talks amongst yourselves. Cuckoo nut. Gulp.

Green curry w/ beef - I have yet to see the use of Thai eggplants in a Thai resto in Atlanta. Or curries that actually represents... Curry. Why are all the curries so friggin watered down? They could pass this off as split pea soup. No spice, no nothing... Just a hot green mess. I have smelled spicier diapers. Squirt.

And the service was oblivious... Nothing says service like the server ordering Express jeans online on her iPhone instead of giving me my change. Tip? Here's a tip... Your dumpy fat ass will never fit into those extra slim jeans you just ordered no matter how much you gwease your thighs with curry.

I give up.

Flush.

749 Moreland Ave
C-105

Atlanta, GA 30316
(404) 624-4713

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