Bouchon at The Venetian

I don't do brunch. I think it's a scam. Nudniks like brunch. They think it's cool... They think it's cool to pay $10 for 2 fucking eggs. But when you're in Vegas, you gotta go big or you go wait on line with all the other geriatrics at the El Cheapo Charlie buffet for $5.99. I don't roll like that (not because it's Shabbos)... Unless, you let me ride your Rascal, bubby.

Thomas Keller owns a few dumps that you might have heard of before... I've been known to frequent a few of them, they's aight. Per Se is like listed #6 in World’s 50 Best Restaurants or some shit like that. I like #2, El Celler de Can Roca, because it has the word "Can" in it... Anyways, I was curious to see how the 1%'ers in Vegas lived and what made brunch so special to them, so, I snuck into Bouchon to do some research. Ain't easy being a 99%'er. But I gotta do it for my one reader...

Soooo fancy pantalones... It was like being in a fucking maze to find this place.

Looks like a license plate... Wonder which inmate made this.

Fronch style Bloody Mary... 2 more, pweez!

I don't remember what this was but I wasn't really paying attention to the foreground, either... Squirt.

Croissant... If they can't get it right up in this piece, there's no hope anywhere else... Or humanity.

 Cheddar and Bacon Scone... G'day, mate!

Rolls... Damn, they were good, fresh outta da oven. Hope it wasn't a Dutch one.

Fronch Toast... So purdee and tastee.

Side of Bacon... Jesus, that's a lot of fucking bacon!

Chicken and Waffles... C'mon, how can this muffin top not order this. Shit was good. What did you expect? Gladys Knight and the Pimps slop? Next question...


These 1%'ers have got the life with their designer handbags and fancy bruncheons... Living la vida loca every Goddamn day of their lives, so entitled... I think I could get used to this. I ain't squatting outside in front of a stupid bank looking for handouts anymore, that is so lame and pathetic. I'm gonna do it here! Suckaz!

Haters will hate. I don't give a shit cuz I'm gonna eat another croissant. Will need to do dinner next time out.

Burp.


4 Stars.

The Venetian Resort-Hotel-Casino
Venezia Tower-9th Floor
3355 Las Vegas Boulevard South
Las Vegas, NV 89109
702.414.6200
http://www.bouchonbistro.com/