The Pig & The Pearl

Spotted: A Porsche Panamera covered in black VELVET parked all crooked on the street. Take one guess where I am... Yep, Atlantic Station. I know, I know... The Freaknik of the westside. I was a little surprised that The Shed peeps would want to open a joint in this sketchy development. Even a change of management did little to change it's troubled past. I woulda figured they would want more of a real neighborhood feel for their new project... And not in the projects. Ok, obviously, I'm not in love with Atlantic Station but restaurateurs are starting to give this area a new shot.. Like the upcoming Diner by the angry chef which seems like a snoozefest to me like his other restos. Don't even get me started about his pizza joint. Anyways, The Shed has always been solid throughout the years and they know what they're doing so I'm willing to put my life and pouch on the line and enter the Thunderdome of Atlanta. I hope my two cojones enter and both my boys leave intact.

Their name is quite interesting because it sounded familiar to me before they even started the build out. There's another resto by almost the same exact name up in Richmond, VA. But their menu is very casual compared to here. This menu reads well but it's quite extensive... A big gamble for a new resto with a large menu to keep the quality up... Let's take a peek.

Smoked Deviled Eggs eggplant caponata, crispy shallots. Nice presentation, tasty caponata, the yolk mixture was kinda bland but when you eat it all together it worked out nicely. 

Oysters. Chef's choice and don't remember where these came from but they were cleaned very well and tasted pretty damn good.

Chicken Liver Paté blackberry preserve, brioche. This potted meat butter portion was very large, they really need to give you more bread/"brioche" because you'll be asking for more in 2 minzies. The pate was very nice, smooth, creamy, flavorful, fresh and with a hint of mineral. It's worth it.

Smoked Trout Spread lavosh, egg, capers. Another very nice spread. I did not find one tiny bone in there, good job. The lavosh paired very well with this spread. Another hit so far.

Brunswick Stew “Pot Pie” cornbread cracklin’. I fucking love Brunswick stew and I love pot pies... Put them together and it's a win in my book. But sadly, this dish sounded great on paper but execution was a miss. It was overly sweet and the cornbread cracklings were just crumbled up bits and pieces from the pan. If they reworked this, it could be outstanding but it looks like they are taking this off the menu... Might be for the better.

½ Slab Spare Ribs. When I see slab of ribs, I expect a slab of ribs... I like cutting them apart myself. But I get what they're trying to do here, they want to present it nice and pretty, so the broads don't have to cut them apart. These ribs were pretty good, nice rub, smokey and tender.. The amount of meat of them were average. It's definitely a passable set of ribs but no where near the top of my list.

1/2 Smoked Springer Mountain Chicken. I don't usually order chicken at a sit down resto unless it's Popeyes but I had to see what the fuss was about with their smoked version. It wasn't bad, had nice smoke to it, the skin was nice with a light rub and the meat was moist inside. Can't complain but in the end, it's just another "roast" chicken.

Smoked Pork Shoulder. This was a nice piece of the other white meat. Tender and flavorful, it just looked all covered up in the presentation like they're trying to hide something. If it is good, show it off and it was good. Don't need all the stuff on top of it.

10 oz Brisket. I don't get why they have to give you the weight of it. For $14, I expected a little more than 3 slices... And that's without any sides. But overall, they were pretty good. Smokey and tender but I do miss seeing the bark and smoke ring when it's sliced to order and not finished off on a grill top and presented in a cast iron for looks. Brisket is not meant to be fancy, it's a working man's piece of undesirable cut.. I like it presented simply.

Creamed Corn serrano pepper. Yeah, I liked this because it had a lil kick to it. Could use a little more cream but it was still good.

Duck Home Fries. Anything in duck fat is good, anything. But with home fries you're gonna need a lot more duck fat because those chunky spuds absorb that fat like a sponge. It needed to be more crispy but overall, it was still very tasty.

Campfire Treat. Ok, I have no clue WTF this is. It is revolting looking. It looks like some type of alien insect's close up shot. Stop trying to be like the dessert course at Alinea. This ain't no campfire treat, more like a enema treatment. This was pretty bad... I can't believe someone actually made this and prolly said, "Yeah, it's pretty fucking awesome."  ...Ah, no it's not. Don't ever put 2 cups of brown ooze in a white porcelain bowl in front of a customer unless you're Modern Toilet in Taiwan or Magic Restroom Cafe in L.A... But I heard that one crapped out after 8 months. Flush. This is why I don't eat dessert.

Churros. Maple bourbon sticky popcorn, apple cider-earl grey sorbet. Ok, they're not churros, they kinda look like Krispy Kreme's mini crullers. Churros were decent but I don't get the Fiddle Faddle wannabe popcorn. It seemed like they struggled to put together a dessert menu.

I am still not in like with their location, that's just me. But the interior was quite nice (except the oyster shells above), at least they're in the corner of the complex and away from all the riff raffs. The last thing they need is some incident and then it's all downhill from there. The service was good and attentive. The menu is on the right track, there's a lot of things to like about this place with a little more tweaking (smoked meats and potted meats) and some not so much (dessert menu). I do want to try the duck next time but nothing is making me rush back here for it. It's a nice addition to this area, hell, anything that is not a celebrity wannabe driven concept would make this complex even better. But for now, it's still the same old Atlantic Station to me and I avoid it unless I have a reason to go there... And this joint was the only reason I entered the Thunderdome this entire year.


380 Atlantic Dr NW
Atlanta, GA

(404) 541-0930

http://www.thepigandthepearl.com/

Tin Drum Asia Cafe

I think this chain has been around for a few years. I never paid much attention to it. If I did even for a second, there was probably a reason why I never went inside. It looks just too comical and student mess hall like (which is why they are strategically opened near schools). But since they are opening more locations around town, I had to take a peek after all these years... I know what you're gonna say and you will probably be right. But the main draw was their new Korean bowls they're pushing like a cheap pimp with a weak bibimbap hand. I don't mind a quicky every now and then, it's usually a cheap date with a happy ending.

Let's see if I can get off up in this piece... I like how they give you the origin of each dish kinda like how Giada tells you how to pronounce Spah-geh-tee... Because we're all too dumb to figure it out.

Kickin' Kimchi Steak Bowl (Korea). So, the poster advert looked pretty decent on the front door and hanging on the walls around the joint (they're not pushing it much) but what you get in real life is a disappointment like everyday of my life. That egg has been cooked off like 4 hours ago and the yolk had this impenetrable layer like Taylor Swift's gash. It was like a diaphragm to keep the yolk from entering your mouth... Guess there's no facial yolk shot for me in this scene. The kimchi wasn't even kimchi, it was a bland ass slaw that barely had any Korean influence, perhaps Nashville. The cubes of unmarinated steak meat were more like Vietnamese style Shaking Beef than thinly sliced bulgogi doused with some ultra sweet brown sauce that tries to mask the chewiness and unseasoned meat dice. The nori seaweed strips on the egg looked like Snoopy's brother, Spike with his molester stache. The rice was the best thing and it wasn't even Korean style rice nor was it even hot, it was tepid and clumpy. Looks like they nailed this Korean dish.

Panang Curry (No origin). Look, this doesn't even have an origin... Maybe it's Alaskan, those silly Eskimos look Asian enough. They claim it's a creamy red curry coconut sauce, it ain't red but it sure is creamy... I hope I'm not swallowing any of the short order cook's DNA, I don't want any Juan with every spoonful. When did Panang curry come with salsa? I was looking for the tortilla chips but to my dismay none were to be found. The spice level of this curry was non-existent, the powder coconut milk/cream they used in this bowl had more spice... As did the frozen broccoli. They did give you a decent amount of previously frozen chicken tenderloins though, but biting in to that piece of cartilage hanging off the end of the tenderloin every other bite gets annoying. At least the bowl of rice was warm this time.

Pad Woon Sen (Thailand). First of all, make sure the staff knows how to pronounce this without laughing like it's some A&F racial t-shirt... Because we all know two Wongs can't make it white. It's actually the Dong brothers who can make it white... With a nice facial. But anyways, back to this crap in a bowl. If you can find me a Thai person that has actually eaten this, I will give you a Thai massage... To make you evacuate or ejacuate what you just swallowed. This bowl of cellophane noodles were so stuck together it seemed like they used horse glue instead of oil. The cinder block-esque chicken chunks could be used as a foundation corner piece for the pyramids. This bowl was such a flavorless mess that I think the cook lost count of the ingredients and left out some main ingredients and replaced it with some other ingredients for another dish. Was it edible? Yes. But only if you're a goat.

Pho Noodle Soup (Vietnam). Ok, so I had to give them one more shot and tried the Pho to go... Who the fuck am I kidding here? I give them props for including the bean sprouts, jalapeno, lime.. And giant Italian basil leaves? Ok, I can over look the crotch covering basil leaves but the over cooked Shaking Beef style meat cubes once again was just plain wrong. The broth, I have no clue what it was made of... Maybe a combination of dirty wok water, Thai tea and Black Berry Shasta. The rice noodles were actually decent like the rice when it was warmed up. They did have Sriracha available but not the Hoisin, hot chili oil and fish sauce... Those little extras could have made the difference, along with a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 grape flavor. 

The pouch's instinct knew why to stay away from this place after all these years... This joint makes Makan seem authentic with their pseudo Asian street food. Always trust the pouch, he has never failed. This place has a niche just like Tattletales has theirs... One smells funky with flashing colored lights and you don't ever want to eat there and the other was mentioned in a Mötley Crüe song.


http://tindrumcafe.com/

Southbound

They got balls to open a joint like this in the middle of nowhere Chamblee... And I'm glad they did. It's on the other side of the tracks from Oriental Pearl and the Chinatown Mall/Food Court. They did a great job renovating a pretty big space and retained some of the character of the original space which was a Masonic Lodge... I wonder if there are secret passages, dungeons and virgins to sacrifice. The overall look inside is nice, simple, rustic, southern... I like it a lot. There's a long bar, upstairs, downstairs, a side room and an outdoor patio seating space... It's a big space and table turn over is still pretty speedy due to the efficient kitchen and staff. Just because you can pump out the grub doesn't mean it's quality... The place is getting a lot of attention and no shortage of customers especially on the weekends even though the area is like a ghost town. Let's take a first look with a few samples.

Octopus Salad, taters. I love octopus but I'm not in love with this presentation. It's very sloppy looking.. Everything is pushed to one side like emptying out the plate before going into the dishwasher. For $12, I expected a little more octopus than a few slices but they were tender and tasty enough for me to not stop eating it. I have yet tried an octopus dish in this town that wowed me... So, I made one with uni and wakame, it was killer (see below).

Boom. All mine, suckaz.

Boiled Peanuts, pork broth. Sounds like a great idea but the pork broth doesn't give it that kick as much as you think to these nuts. They were good but somehow I was expecting a much more porky flavor punching at my nads.

Beef Tartar, shallot, capers, creole mustard, olive oil, quail yolk. Even though they spelled tartare wrong on the menu, this was still a very tasty tartare. They seasoned the meat well and the quail egg is standard issue now which was great. The only gripe I have is that they didn't clean the meat as well as they could before grinding. You get a bite of sinew every now and then but it doesn't affect the overall dish.

SB Burger & Fries, mayo, beer mustard, dill pickles, hook’s cheddar, shaved red onion. Spot on temp at mid rare. I have been on a kick to find the next great burger in this town because lately all the burgers have been pretty lame. General Muir might be the only one that I would go back specifically for it. This burger here was pretty good, the bun needed to be toasted because all the grease turned the bottom bun mushy so you basically pick it up once and eat until it's gone.. If you're really good at eating you can use one hand for the burger and the other for fries. I'm on the fence on getting this again with all the other dishes on the menu yet to try.

SB Hot Chicken, cilantro, arbol chili, garlic, lime. I had to get this, save the best for last right? First thing right off the bat, it ain't no hot cheekan and it's also boneless (not that there is anything wrong with a boneless hot cheekan if it was made the right way, Jim N Nick's BBQ had a killer boneless hot cheekan). It's not quite red, spicy and glazey enough. This was their lackluster vision of the spicy chicken dish that I grew to love and adore like a crackhead.. And their version was just ok. This was not bad if comparing to spicy chicken tenders found at local fast food joints but definitely not a hot chicken. The heat/spice level was very low. It was more like a dry rub of spices and then floured and deep fried a tad too long because some parts of the flesh was tough and chewy. I understand they want to do a different take on this dish but sometimes when it ain't broke, don't fix it... Just add a little of your style to it to make it a little different. I would have to pass on this dish on the next visit even though I want to give it another shot, I just don't want to be disappointed again like the time this hot broad ditched me to go see Road House with some other dude... I wasn't cool enough to be a cooler.

Even with some hits and misses (nothing was bad just needed fine tuning), I still like this place a lot and will be back to try some other dishes I saw going around... Like the ginormous bone in ribeye and the behemoth ribs. Could this be the start of a new Chamblee southern dining screen that doesn't consist of ethnic grub every corner in this town? I hope so but not at the expense of these great ethnic spots being dumb down. If they keep working at the menu and make a few tweeks, this place could be a very consistent resto. Plus, they have a bunch of Big Green Eggs on the patio, so that's extra points for them.

5394 Peachtree Rd
Chamblee, GA 30341
678-580-5579
http://www.baconsnobs.com/baconsnobs/welcome.html

Church's Chicken

I know what y'all are saying... What is wrong with the marsupial Pouch? Did he bump his pannus or something? Did he lose his job and now going low rent these days? Did he break another door at Popeyes and banned for life? The answer is no to all of the above. But I was driving along and saw a sign that said a whole friggin family meal is $10. Turn the fucking car around, Ma! We're not having meatloaf again tonight!

10 Pieces, 2 large sides and 4 biscuits for $10 (limited time only). Ok, every store in this franchise cooks their chicken differently... How do I know that? I'm sure you know how. I ate at a few fwied cheekan joints here and there in my lifetime to know the difference. This location off Buford Hwy does the crust a little thicker and it doesn't break apart as easily like with Popeyes. The seasoning and over outer perimeter is passable. Crunch factor is high but per bite pull of a combination of crust/skin/flesh is a little difficult. Sometimes the entire crust breaks off in one piece and then you're trying to put it back on the bald meat like some kind of bad toupée. It's not a bad fried chicken but it also isn't on my top 10 list either. It's a good box of chicken to take to a friend's back yard party or tailgate because it wouldn't be a big loss if you were only able to get 2 pieces because everyone's grubby little fat hands have snatched a piece for themselves while it's still hot. Their sides are just ok, mash n gravy is a doctored up version of instant, cajun rice is passable needs more seasoning, fried okra is brown bag special and mac is too liquidity and pasta too soft.

If you want to slum it like a hobo, this deal is your best bet for some fwied ghetto pigeon. I actually went two days in a row for this deal... And I wonder why I'm so morbidly obeast.


4995 Buford Hwy
Chamblee, GA 30341
 770-454-9404
http://www.churchs.com/

Jim 'N Nick's BBQ

Everyone has heard of Jim 'N Nick's BBQ... The have about 80 million locations all over the universe. Ok, maybe they're mostly in the south with the exception of Colorado because who doesn't like to eat BBQ after smoking a shitload of ganja... Wait, they are in Colorado? Those fucking granola ground hogs up there in the sticks wouldn't know good BBQ if they smoked it out of a 10 foot bong. That's a shame to waste a location there. Anyways, stopped by a location in low rent Alabama (they're from AL, supposedly), yeah it was country as fuck but they had whiskey, cheekan and smoked meats... It was actually pretty nice inside, you know, standard corporate issue cookie cutter design that is the same for every store. And of course this place was slamming on a Sunday after those sinners come out of church. Speaking of slamming... There's a chick I wanna slam so hard in my mouth up in this piece.

Nashville Style Hot Chicken. I see Hot Chicken on the menu and it's on. Even though these were boneless I still had to give them a shot... And it paid off, the whole $5's worth. It still makes me mad that Makan charges $5 for a few measly pieces of weak ass 5 spice nuggets. This was a good portion for the price and the deep red color and lava dripping on the plate and toasted sliced bread soaking up the goodness says it all. These were very good, nice and crispy batter with a nice crunch even with the heavy cayenne coating/sauce, tender juicy inside and the spice/heat level was more than normal for a place like this and for the sheeple to bear. It had a nice burn to them and I couldn't stop eating them. It wasn't super spicy but to me they were like popcorn, one after another. I would definitely go back just for these alone.

3 Meat Combo- Sliced brisket, pulled pork and smoked turkey. As you can see, the brisket wasn't sliced but chopped. So, I tell the dude and he's like oh shit! and goes back to the kitchen and brings back another plate of "sliced" brisket (see below). Bartender/server dude was spot on, good guy... But sadly not all the BBQ were spot on. Turkey tasted more roasted than smoked, not bad just really plain. Pulled pork was very average and forgettable. Chopped brisket was moist and tender but not sliced so I can't see the bark, smoke ring, etc. Mac was decent but could use more browning on top. The creamed kale was pretty tasty.

"Sliced" Brisket. Dude tells me that the brisket was soooo tender that it broke apart while being sliced... Say what? Are they holding the brisket in a steamer or submerged under a ton of it's own drippings? Come to think of it, the brisket didn't have much smoke or flavor to it, but it was tender and moist... Hint hint.

I don't usually use sauce but since it lacked the smokey flavor, this non-hot & spicy habanero sauce will have to do.

The place is basically a middle of the road turned corporate BBQ joint that has grown too big for it's own good. It has become a fast casual resto that is looking to compete with Applebee's et al for the working class market share.. And they might be winning. I don't know if Charlie Sheen has been here but I will Tweet him and find out. But the N'ville Style Hot Chicken was kickass and is a must.

6415 Atlanta Hwy
Montgomery, AL 36117
334-213-0046
http://www.jimnnicks.com
 

Greenwood's Restaurant

I like fried cheekan... Just in case y'all didn't know. Again. I haven't been back here in a long time but I was in the area so I wanted to try their hefty fried chicken again to see if anything has changed. I remembered it was a good fried chicken the last time I had it many moons ago, but nothing so spectacular that it made me crave for it the next day like zombies to brains. Their portion/price ratio was pretty good, too. So, I hope they're still delivering the goods.

Corn Muffins. Yes, I need five of them because I'm on a health kick right now. They melt in your mouth but there's no butter or lard in it, I swear. These things were so full of butter that they give you extra butter just in case it's not fatty enough. I still like their style... And so does every other morbidly obese person in the joint. There were so many fat people in here I thought I went inside a slaughter house by mistake. Moooo.

Fried Chicken with honey-pepper sauce, broccoli casserole, creamed corn, sweet tater mash and cheese grits. For under $16, this is a massive portion of half a chicken(ok, it only comes with two sides but I got two more because I didn't eat breakfast)... The Bishop charges $20 for 2 medium size pieces with some scraps on the plate, what a rip off. The crust is pretty thick but it falls off with little effort. Closer examination, I noticed there were no skin. I don't remember it being skinless before (did they go kosher and get a Rabbi for a cook?) or maybe I just ate it so fast last time I didn't even check. I'm ok with it being skinless. The chicken is made to order but it came out piping hot under the 30 minzies required time. The shit was still sizzling and crackling and I had to wait like 32 seconds to take the first bite. The honey pepper sauce I could do with it on the side but it wasn't bad. The crust is a bit too thick for me, some parts had big clumps of crust that you set off to the side and eat later. It's a good crust, though.. And it gives it that girth in the presentation when it comes out to the table. The chicken was juicy, tender and had really nice flavor. It's a very good fried chicken but it's not top 3, possibly in the top 10. I guess I'll have to post the world's top 10 list of the best fried cheekan in the future. The sides were all pretty good, it's definitely not for people on a diet like me. But I ate it all anyways. 

Burp.

1087 Green St.
Roswell, GA 30075
(770) 992-5383
 http://greenwoodsongreenstreet.com/

K&J Rib Shack

Sometimes you gotta get off the beaten path and go straight to the ghetto to find the best local cuisine... Or sometimes you're just lost and you pull into a gas station and there happens to be a rib shack next door... It's fucking low rent Alabama after all. Not that it happened to me but it makes for a cool story to tell. I actually sought out this dump because of the ribs, can you believe that shit? This place is a story in itself, kinda like the horror flick that involves a chainsaw. A real mom & pop joint you can find only in the deep south, they were the only ones working, doing everything... Slowly. But they were super nice people. Let's take a peek inside... 

When you see a sign like this on the door... It has 'authentic' written all over it. Or not and get the fuck as far away as possible.

Looks more like Sing Sing than a BBQ joint. They also had a big smoker going on a trailer right out front.

Pulled Pork, mac, collards and corn muffin. So, I ask big boy behind the counter how the pork was, he comes back with the standard auto response like every other place, I made it, it's great of course! I'll be the judge of that, Autonomous B.I.G. Sadly, it looked and tasted like clumps of hair found in a shower drain. It literally sat in a pool of grease and fat... And had no flavor! They must be using Greyhound fat. Pork was forgettable... Since they don't have Brunswick stew on the menu, this pork might be a good start. If not, use the Greyhound... Tastes just like squirrel. The collards and mac was decent in a edible kinda way but the corn muffin was absolute saw dust, flavorless, dry and grainy like sand on a beach. The last time I ate this much sand, I was on my knees and my back was arched... Uh, nevermind.

How much for one wing? $1.80 pweez. When I saw this on the menu, I had to get it because it was so ridiculous and funny at the same time. I'm gonna git ya sucka! ...And they did, this smoked wing was almost meatless and the vinegar-ish sauce made the smokey skin soggy and meat was really dry like jerky. What do you expect from a jailbird?

Half Slab Ribs. Ok, these are giant ribs. Six of them to be exact... It's dirty smokey fleshy meat porn. Dirk Diggler blushes at the sight of these things. The sauce that it's sitting in looked similar to the swill the pulled pork was soaking in but it's not, totally different, a little sweet, a little vinegary... Decent actually to give the smoked ribs some glaze before you shove your snout up in this piece. There's no dry spice rub that I could see or taste but it's seasoned decently and smoked nicely. The meat were tender for their large size and pulled away from the bone with ease. Two ribs will fill you up but if you're a fucking slob like me, you can put down 3 or 4 of them and licking your fingers constantly that will make your girlfriend jealous as shit... Then the nagging starts, why don't you go downtown like that on me. Blah blah blah. The slices of bread were in the shape of a ninja throwing star, either on purpose or just crushed in the bag, they are pretty much a waste of pouch space.

As the would be condemned building sign out front says... Rib Shack it is and that's really all you should get if you come here. Everything else is pretty much middle school grade cafeteria food. They did have a good mix of people coming through here which surprised me... I mean this place is a dump decor wise, it's basically like a run down garage made of cinder blocks but a bunch of Buckhead type whities and a couple of fobby Asians actually ate inside... And then there's me. I could eat ribs in a latrine and I would be fine with that.

Plop.

4255 S Court St.
Montgomery, AL 36105
(334) 356-1368