Tin Drum Asia Cafe

I think this chain has been around for a few years. I never paid much attention to it. If I did even for a second, there was probably a reason why I never went inside. It looks just too comical and student mess hall like (which is why they are strategically opened near schools). But since they are opening more locations around town, I had to take a peek after all these years... I know what you're gonna say and you will probably be right. But the main draw was their new Korean bowls they're pushing like a cheap pimp with a weak bibimbap hand. I don't mind a quicky every now and then, it's usually a cheap date with a happy ending.

Let's see if I can get off up in this piece... I like how they give you the origin of each dish kinda like how Giada tells you how to pronounce Spah-geh-tee... Because we're all too dumb to figure it out.

Kickin' Kimchi Steak Bowl (Korea). So, the poster advert looked pretty decent on the front door and hanging on the walls around the joint (they're not pushing it much) but what you get in real life is a disappointment like everyday of my life. That egg has been cooked off like 4 hours ago and the yolk had this impenetrable layer like Taylor Swift's gash. It was like a diaphragm to keep the yolk from entering your mouth... Guess there's no facial yolk shot for me in this scene. The kimchi wasn't even kimchi, it was a bland ass slaw that barely had any Korean influence, perhaps Nashville. The cubes of unmarinated steak meat were more like Vietnamese style Shaking Beef than thinly sliced bulgogi doused with some ultra sweet brown sauce that tries to mask the chewiness and unseasoned meat dice. The nori seaweed strips on the egg looked like Snoopy's brother, Spike with his molester stache. The rice was the best thing and it wasn't even Korean style rice nor was it even hot, it was tepid and clumpy. Looks like they nailed this Korean dish.

Panang Curry (No origin). Look, this doesn't even have an origin... Maybe it's Alaskan, those silly Eskimos look Asian enough. They claim it's a creamy red curry coconut sauce, it ain't red but it sure is creamy... I hope I'm not swallowing any of the short order cook's DNA, I don't want any Juan with every spoonful. When did Panang curry come with salsa? I was looking for the tortilla chips but to my dismay none were to be found. The spice level of this curry was non-existent, the powder coconut milk/cream they used in this bowl had more spice... As did the frozen broccoli. They did give you a decent amount of previously frozen chicken tenderloins though, but biting in to that piece of cartilage hanging off the end of the tenderloin every other bite gets annoying. At least the bowl of rice was warm this time.

Pad Woon Sen (Thailand). First of all, make sure the staff knows how to pronounce this without laughing like it's some A&F racial t-shirt... Because we all know two Wongs can't make it white. It's actually the Dong brothers who can make it white... With a nice facial. But anyways, back to this crap in a bowl. If you can find me a Thai person that has actually eaten this, I will give you a Thai massage... To make you evacuate or ejacuate what you just swallowed. This bowl of cellophane noodles were so stuck together it seemed like they used horse glue instead of oil. The cinder block-esque chicken chunks could be used as a foundation corner piece for the pyramids. This bowl was such a flavorless mess that I think the cook lost count of the ingredients and left out some main ingredients and replaced it with some other ingredients for another dish. Was it edible? Yes. But only if you're a goat.

Pho Noodle Soup (Vietnam). Ok, so I had to give them one more shot and tried the Pho to go... Who the fuck am I kidding here? I give them props for including the bean sprouts, jalapeno, lime.. And giant Italian basil leaves? Ok, I can over look the crotch covering basil leaves but the over cooked Shaking Beef style meat cubes once again was just plain wrong. The broth, I have no clue what it was made of... Maybe a combination of dirty wok water, Thai tea and Black Berry Shasta. The rice noodles were actually decent like the rice when it was warmed up. They did have Sriracha available but not the Hoisin, hot chili oil and fish sauce... Those little extras could have made the difference, along with a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 grape flavor. 

The pouch's instinct knew why to stay away from this place after all these years... This joint makes Makan seem authentic with their pseudo Asian street food. Always trust the pouch, he has never failed. This place has a niche just like Tattletales has theirs... One smells funky with flashing colored lights and you don't ever want to eat there and the other was mentioned in a Mötley Crüe song.


http://tindrumcafe.com/