Where the fuck have you been, Pouch? COVID is over, so morbidly obeast slobs are no longer in danger anymore. The only risk factor for fat fucks like me is over-eating... And I have been eating non-stop that I don't have time to write up more reviews in a timely manner... Like anyone really reads this deplorable food blog. It takes a lot of energy to press buttons, so, this chubby chaser needs more food. I'm so backed up on reviews... Just like my colon. But this is my one reader's lucky day... I'm constipated, so, what better way to pass the time while I sit on the white stool waiting to pass some brown stool then to write up a review! As Fat Albert would say, Hey hey hey, bombs away!
AYCE sushi buffets are like slutty Chino buffets... Some times you just crave an unlimited amount of unseasoned slop. Usually, after a night of heavy drinking. Everyone and their mamas have been to Nori Nori in Sandy Springs which I still visit every once in a while but I have to fast the day before and you must wear stretchy pants. Pouch, did you say "fast"? Yes, I did and this slow ass corpulent slug don't fast for nobody. So, it has to be a special occasion... Shit, my social life is pretty pathetic, so any occasion that involves food is always special. Unlike skinny people, food will never make fun of fat people... That's why food is my BFF (Best Fat Friend).
Nori Nori is the OG of AYCE sushi but let's take a look at a Trifecta of new AYCE sushi joints that have popped up recently. These buffets are not self serve like Nori Nori, they are kinda like semi-full service restaurants where a server takes your order on a tablet and the food is delivered out. OK, enough with the moist mouth breathing, Pouch, we want to see the goods... That's what she said.
SUSHI KINGDOM- DUNWOODY.
It was $18.99 for lunch... Now, it's $20.99. The good old bait and switch after the grand opening week. The dinner is $39.99 but who knows if they have jacked that shit up even more as we speak.
Lunch menu.
2 hours ONLY limit... You go home now fat boy, you eat evey ting! We have no mo food!
Best of Best Roll... Is that Engrish? I read it so fast I thought it said Breast of Beast Rolls.
Sushi Bar action... The sushi chefs were in the weeds the entire time I was there. It's just too much volume for them to handle. Everything was made to order.
Bubble teas... In the grab and go fridge. Both tasted powdery.
Miso soup, Seaweed salad, Kani salad. Hard to screw these up.
Ribs & Corn Stew Pot... I know what y'all are thinking... Is that dirty sink water? Almost, but you can just barely make out the small slice of corn on the cob in the murky pond water.
Rainbow Roll and Crispy Crab Roll... I asked the server if the crispy crab roll was the same thing as a Spider Roll, he said, yes but this inedible shit came out instead... It was fake crab meat (surimi) battered and deep fried then rolled in rice. It was so bad, I almost threw it under the table in the corner to avoid the surcharge for unfinished slop. But I told the server it was disgusting and he took it away, no extra charge.
Stick with the nigiri, at least you know what to expect.
Angus NY Stripe and Shrimp Hibachi. I'm glad they give small portions just to try out. 3 skrimps and 4 or 5 small cubes of grisly meat. They should have misspelled it to Anus, instead. If you stare at the meat long enough, it kinda resemble a balloon knot. Come to think of it, it tasted more like zebra... The stripe meat cuts.
Since, they have jacked up the prices, I will probably not make another visit. The quality was acceptable, but not good enough to pay more and deal with the crowds.
4788 Ashford Dunwoody Rd
Dunwoody, GA 30338
https://sushikingdomdunwoody.kwickmenu.com/
SUSHI VILLAGE- LAWRENCEVILLE.
Their AYCE lunch price is still $17.99 (M-F)... BUT sashimi and nigiri is not offered during lunch anymore or only at this location (original Cobb location may still offer it). BUT they say you can pay the Dinner price of $26.99 if you're really craving sashimi or nigiri minus all the other dinner items. I know I'm a fat fuck with unlimited Pouch space but shit, I don't have unlimited funds, especially, for lunch. Yeah, no thanks, bro... I just want a quick lunch. Let's take a look at their newer and cleaner Lawrenceville location...
Kitchen Menu.
Takoyaki. These were actually pretty tasty, most likely frozen from a brown bag. I like how the apps are only a couple pieces, good way to taste a bunch of stuff without wasting it if it sucked ass.
Sweet Potato Tempura, Chicken Katsu. Sweet tater is exactly what it tasted like. The cheekan katsu was surprisingly crispy and tender. I wanted to put in another order but I forgot my zip-lock back... Oh, snap, did I say that out loud?
Salmon Avocado Maki Roll. Looked a little sloppy but it tasted pretty good.
I like this place, the price is good but it's a hike from ITP. I would try the dinner menu if I was up this way.
1030 Old Peachtree Rd NW
Suite 106
Lawrenceville, GA 30043
KIZUNA SUSHI ALL YOU CAN EAT.
This is probably the newest sushi buffet in Metro-Atlanta. Shit, I wouldn't call Norcross metro, but whatever. Just don't step on the inbred locals passed out on the sidewalks in this strip mall. They got a lot of hype and crowds in the beginning but the honeymoon is pretty much over. The price is $28.99 for the dinner menu. I can't make it to upstate GA for lunch during the weekdays but I think the lunch menu is $18.99. They try to make the inside look like a full service restaurant... And it kinda is. They don't use tablets, you mark off what you want on the menu and a staff member puts it in the system. If you want more food, you have to reuse the same menu... Erase and check off new items.
I always thought I knew how all you can eat works but go ahead and explain it to the Pouch.
Yellowtail Jalapeno. It still amazes me that this infamous Nobu dish has been copied by every sushi joint in the country... Even at sushi buffets. I like how they try to plate a nice presentation at a buffet.
Tori Karaage. These fried cheekan bits were pretty good.
Age Tofu. Light crust outside and soft tofu inside. Decent.
Beef Skewer. Somewhat tender but passable.
Lamb Chops (Limit 1 per order). I tried to sneak in another round but got shot down. These were pretty good. I was pleasantly surprised it was cooked to correct temp, mid rare+. They were juicy and tasty. I could destroy 10 of these easily.
Calamari. Frozen brown bag varietal.
Chicken Wings. I gotta admit these were damn tasty. Thin crispy crust, juicy ass meat inside. I had to order another round.
Spicy Tuna and Alaska Hand Rolls (salmon, cucumber, avocado). That tuna was not what I expected and it tasted unexpected. Skip this one. The Alaska was much better and natural.
Dragon Roll, Rainbow Roll, Spider Roll. They actually looked great and it tasted totally fine. Good stuff and they do stuff you with all that rice expansion in your gullet.
More Nigiri, pretty decent quality.
Yellowtail Jalapeno. I had to get it again... I had to circle back like Jen Psaki. Finished off this visit with a full circle.
5450 Peachtree Pkwy
Norcross, GA 30092
https://www.kizunasushiallyoucaneat.com/
These 3 visits were completed almost back to back. I'm like 3 times my normal size... Bloated, retaining water and smell like old fish... Close your fucking legs then, Pouch! Nobody wants to smell that sweaty catfish smegma. Time to hibernate again. But the Pouch promises my one fan that there will be a ridiculously incredible review coming soon that will not be fowl. Guaranteed.
Pump Pump Burp.
2 comments:
Favorite one of the three?
Of the 3 buffets, prolly Sushi Village but Nori Nori still the OG standby bc it has more variety of food and fatsos love to consume in mass quantities..
Post a Comment