Good Harvest

Everyone and their mothers have done hot pot... You know, shabu shabu... Where you dump 10 lbs of assorted raw shit into a vat of hot lava inside a cauldron 5 inches from your face. If you don't be careful, you could end up like that kraut, Toht, who's face melted off staring directly into God's hot pot, the Ark. The Pouch does hot pot differently by swallowing all the raw ingredients into its pannus first and then funnel the boiling hot broth and do the washing machine motion until everything is cooked. With this method, you don't have to waste time and wait for every morsel to be cooked individually and then eat it. It's very time consuming... I just want to get right to the food coma stage and hibernate for a week. It's totally unorthodox, but I call it Hot Pouch. My favorite movie with the best hot pot scene was in Fatal Attraction... Alex musta got a hold of my grandma's ancient Chinese secret family recipe for rabbit hot pot. I just wished I coulda tasted it after it was done cooking in that scene. I have a great spicy dipping sauce to go with it, too.

Yes, everyone has had hot pot but how many people have done dry pot? No liquid, just a giant metal pot of bite size meats and seafood in varying levels of mala. There is no resto that specializes only in dry pot but you can pretty much find it on almost every Chino resto's menu. Chong Qing Hot Pot in the Chinatown food court has good hot pot but also some pretty damn decent dry pots on the cheap, too. My buddy wanted a dry pot only spot... So, he wanted to try Good Harvest in the Asian Square. I must admit, I pretty much ignored this corner of the strip mall because it's kinda like the left side of the Chinatown food court which caters towards the hombres and gringos. BBQ Corner 2 is full roundeyes and brownies, so, I know the grub will be slutty as fuck. But somehow, Good Harvest actually have ex-pats eating inside. Well, fuck me silly and call me Sally... Because I'm such a slut. Let's go check out what all the fuss is about...

Their website states, "The Finest & Most Authentic Chinese Cuisine in Atlanta. Eatery serving hot pot and dry pot, among other contemporary Sichuan dishes." OK, you got my attention but can and will you deliver the goods? The hostess sat the Pouch party at the corner table because they don't want the other customers to throw up at the sight of this lardass consuming mass quantities like a Conehead. Then our server dropped off some menus and disappeared... We waited and waited for him to come back... I'm NOT going to be IGNORED, Dan...

He finally came back and we put in our order ASAP before this motherfucker channels Houdini and disappears, again. They also got that stupid robot bringing out all sorts of random shit that didn't even make sense like cups with ice but no water in it, empty beer bottles, one fucking chopstick... No, not one pair, just one goddamn stick... Which I wanted to stab him in the eye like a Capri Sun. I just got up and went to the server station and grabbed what I needed for the table. Fuck, I'm done working for free here... Bring on the grub!  

Pork Foss Charpati, $8.95. It's quite a hefty portion of roti... Only if they had some spicy curry to dip these crispy pancakes in, it would totally be heaven. They are quite tasty and addictive.

Eggs Charpati, $8.95. This sounded way better than it tasted... It wasn't bad but I thought it would have more flavor. But still a pretty tasty snack. Oh, I ate more than one of these... How could you not?

Sesame Charpati, $8.95. You can definitely taste the sesame in this one... Very tasty and poof! It was gone pretty fast.

Marinated Pig's Ears, $11.55. These ain't for the faint of hearth AKA pussy-ass-motherfuckaz... These ain't cut into thin julienne strips to hide what they truly are... But instead big giant pieces of pig ears. I could weave this into primitive shoes which would be perfect for my survival chances on Naked and Afraid. We all know shoes and bras are the most important things for your wilderness survival... And pig ears. I liked these a lot, they were thick cut and you knew what you were eating. I love the crunch and chew of it. Roundeyes will not be ordering/eating this, no matter how many times they say they have been to Asia and was accepted like family there. This dish makes Leatherface jealous...

Spicy Beef Tendon, $11.55. And the gwailos thought the pig ears were bad... These look udderly revolting but these thin slices of tendon that resembled charred onions were amazingly dericious. Tendon is a super food. It's rich in collagen which helps with nail and bone health, hair strength, joint mobility and most of all it keeps your skin elastic and youthful... I have seen so many women with faces that suffer from wenisitis, you know, elbow skin face. And coincidently they also suffer from ugly baby face knees syndrome, too. I don't know if there is a correlation there but studies have shown that these broads don't swallow, either. And we all know the proven health benefits of the baby gravy, also known as choad nectar, dongwater, man chowder, nut butter, throat yogurt, white honey... Ladies, next time you fancy a cocktail lounge looking for free libations, make sure you chase those pricey drinks with an order of the Gentlemen's Relish. He would totally appreciate it. Squirt.

Dry Pot- Pick Two $42.95, Frog +$5, Spicy Diced Chicken, Mild, Rattan Pepper. This giant cauldron of fried foul and amphibian morsels looked pretty impressive in it's presentation. It's a hefty portion, definitely requires a team effort. The spicy diced chicken were like McNuggets and once you pop, you just can't stop. It's not really spicy but seasoned nicely. The frog leg nuggets tasted like chicken but there were too many bones to deal with each bite, even with their low density bones. A couple of peeps lost interest after only a couple of pieces, it was too much work to eat them. This fat fuck gobbled them all up... I like frog but I don't usually order them since there's always better protein on the menu than this overpriced cheap meat substitute. Frog leg is cheap as fuck, why the premium up charge? 

Dry Pot- Pick Three $56.95, Chili Shrimp & Calamari, Golden Pepper Crispy Fish +$5, Prime Rib Black Pepper Sauce +$5, Mild, Rattan Pepper. As with the other cauldron, it's quite an impressive spread with this 3 option display... This is bigger than my fire pit. The head on shrimp is always a hit. The calamari was a bit chewy and I was hoping for more tentacles than strips of body tube. The crispy fish was an advertising failure, it was not crispy, more like braised. And the portion was chintzy as fuck for the up charge. But it had good flavor on the two pieces I ate. The prime rib was nothing to write home about especially with another up charge. They were overcooked, chewy and bony.

Look, this whole dry pot scam is more for the show rather than the substance. It's fun to bring people who don't usually eat dry pot for the visual of it. It's definitely not for two or even four people, you will need at least 6 fat bodies to make a dent in these giant dry pot pans. I was always curious about this joint and now, I have finally tried it and there probably won't be a second visit... Not even for the hot pot. Go ahead and try it for yourself and you be the judge. The Pouch is going to stick with the clay pots, so much more flavor, depth and complexity.

Half a pump... Then a squirt for the beef chowfun at Ming's afterwards.

5150 Buford Hwy

NE C-120

Doraville, GA 30340

https://www.goodharvestatl.com/