Talat Market

With a mere mention in the Michelin guide this past October 2023, the wannabe hipsters have been invading this trendy Summerhill spot like meth zombies... Some are even sleeping on the sidewalk for hours hoping for a chance to get in for their 5PM feedings. Unlike these automatons, I still remember when Talat was just a pop up honing their concept years ago in the Gato space... Which has became an incubator of sorts for cooks with novel concepts and ideas. Some have worked out and others have quietly disappeared into the night like a strung out junkie living under a bridge on Cheshire Bridge. I really like their approach to traditional Thai cuisine, in the beginning. But over time, they seemed to have morphed into more of a trendy spot looking to capitalize on the newest fad. I guess it's time for this fat fuck to see what all the fuss is about after receiving their Michelin nod... If y'all are confused with their Michelin standing- They didn't receive a star nor their newest category called Bib Gourmand which is basically a recognition of trendy spots that serves good food that are moderately priced. I'm still pissed that Estrellita got a Bib Gourmand over Kamayan ATL... Kamayan absolutely destroys Estellita's subpar flip flop slop. Let's see why Talat only received a nod...

I went a few minzies early before 5PM to see if I could get in and out quickly by sitting at the bar... There were a few porkers in front of me and they filled up the bar like it was a freshly filled trough. I thought I was in the Clermont Lounge pisser for a second that I almost pulled out my pud from muscle memory. Fuck, those Blondie flashbacks are painful. OK, so my bar strategy just went down the shitter... Talked to the hostess and worked my sorcery to convince her that I would be in and out quickly (that's what she said), but seriously, she said, "Can you be out by 8PM?". Wimman, I will be a distant memory within an hour... As long as the kitchen did their part in firing my order ASAP. Snagged a corner table which was totally preferred... I get to see the whole joint without any slobs breathing down my sweaty back. 

Let's go all in, fatso!

This Fords Martini Hour $12 special is an amazing deal because it comes with 3 oysters! Shit, I could just have a flight of these martinis and 9 oysters and I would be happy as a fat fucking pig in shit.

The Fords Gin Martini Trifecta... The Valencia, Gibson and 50/50. No matter what order you drink them in, you will be a winner and I'll still be a wiener. And each martini comes with 3 oysters... Winnah winnah bi-valve dinnah!

Flight round #2... And where's my sea snots, bro? Boom...

On this night, the oysters were from Murder Point in Alabama... And they were really good. Clean, rich, creamy, medium salinity and a hint of butter. The "mignonette" is more of  a Vietnamese nuoc cham than a Thai seafood dipping sauce. But it was still great with the oysters. Save the enhanced fish sauce to dip with other menu items.

Murder Point aren't really dirty oysters since they are raised in baskets... So, not much scrubbing required, they have super clean shells naturally. Beautiful specimens.

I had 33 oysters, guess how many gin martinis I drank... Because it's all fuzzy math after all them cocktails. I need grub before I keel over... Garcon! Comidas, apurate, por favor, danke!

Corner seat, best spot in the house for spotting hot broads that will never talk to me and when my food is coming out. The place filled up pretty quickly and not one ex-pat in the entire joint... Not even a jook-sing. I was the only slope... I thought this was an authentic traditional Thai joint. Maybe all the ex-pats were at Rain Thai or Thai Chili. Let's take a peep at the traditional Thai menu... BTW the menu is not on the website, so, you won't know what's on the menu until you get in there... Not a fan of that practice.

Wait a minzie, am I at Harry & Sons? Wake up, Pouch, wake up. Everyone has been soiling their underpants about the crispy rice salad, but meh, I rather put that $18 towards something more substantial. Every roundeye ordered it, so, it was basically every table. I was pretty disappointed that Som Tum with fermented fish or salted crab was not on the traditional Thai menu... Speaking of Thai, there were not many Thai dishes on this menu tonight... Which is their whole schtick. Did the Pouch just fucked himself, again? Hmmm... Ah, fuck it, just order all the proteins, all 3 of them... And keep them martinis coming every 10 minutes, and if I pass out, bring one every 5 minutes.

Sunchoke & Crab, radish/pear/salmon roe/pork rind, $20. It's a nicely presented dish but after mixing it all up, it was a muddy mess. There were only a couple of pieces of sunchoke... The other toothy items that mimic the Jerusalem artichoke were the radish and pear and I swore I tasted potato in there... Shit, throw some galangal in there and try to trick me properly at least. It sounded great on paper but if you closed your eyes and took a bite, you would be like... Smoothered covered chunked? All The Way woulda only cost ya $5... And that would taste more Thai.

Pork Ribs, nahm jim jaew/crudite, $25. Plating is simple and classy... But does this look anything like a traditional Thai dish? The only thing that was remotely Thai was the classic Thai dipping sauce which tasted like the chili fish sauce with the oysters. The ribs looked great... If I was at Heirloom BBQ. Look, this fat fuck is still gonna just eat it like a weirdo. Unfortunately, they were a bit dry and chewy. Dipped it in the nahm jim jaew and it helped a bit... Then I dipped it in the Gibson and the house brine really softened it up. That raw carrot couldn't lead a horse to these ribs. Would I get the ribs again? Fuck no, but it was worth a try. I mean, what else was I gonna order besides the 3 mains? Oh, yeah, I also got a cup of sticky rice for $4.

Octopus, xo sauce/daikon/scallion, $18. Isn't XO sauce Chinese? Oh, well, it's all Oriental I guess... The octopus was really good, tender and toothy. Or as the hipsters would say, it has a wonderful mouth feel. WTF, you stupid trust fund hippie?! If your mouth was a trough, I wouldn't even piss in it. The XO sauce could have been a bit more umami but it still worked. Shit, I put XO (the scallop one) on everything, even 'ZA... Wait a minzie, hot honey is better on 'ZA. The octopus was good but it was more an app than a main.

Flatiron, mushroom/cilantro/beef jus, $40. Wait a minzie... Did I walk into Bistro Niko? Fuck no, because I would never go back to shithole and their fraudy half assed Fronch dishes... Who's the chef, Lane Meyer's mom? What do you have to drink here, Peru? Listen, it's a pretty looking dish here... But c'mon, how is this even remotely Thai, let alone traditional. Flatiron is usually an inexpensive piece of chuck but still pretty tasty. This cut here was cooked perfectly... All that's missing was the frites. But to say this was traditional Thai is kinda an insult... Along with that price tag.

This joint definitely has the trendy vibe and concept going on here. It is the new "It" place to see and be seen. And the zombies are piling in like they were only serving brains on the menu... Oh, only if they had offal on the menu I woulda been a lot happier. By the looks of the crowd, I don't think anyone eating here really cares if they are traditional Thai as long as it's pretty on the plate and IG-able. If they were serving authentic traditional Thai dishes, none of these wannabes would be eating here because it would be too foreign for their fragile palate. But the service industry is really tough these days and you gotta do what you gotta do... Even if you have to go outside the lines of your central cuisine theme. Hey, maybe they're bringing Fusion cuisine back, baybee! I would love to see a Thai birria taco on the menu.

So, do they deserve the Michelin nod? I guess so because it's trendy and safe for the gringos. But they do know how to cook and plate a novel dish and the service was great. I wish them luck and hope they keep going... But maybe, just maybe, as Jen Psaki would say, they will circle back with some traditional Thai dishes in the future... Just not in a circle jerk.

112 Ormond St SE

Atlanta, GA 30315

https://talatmarketatl.com/