Friday, September 23, 2022

Santo Cantina + Cocina

Atlanta is full of Mexican't dumps that targets the gringos' pedestrian and fragile palate... The roundeyes love them some LatinX white queso, pulverized guacamole, quesadilluhs, ground beef, fajitas, hard shell and flour tortilla tacos... Basically, nothing authentic or spicy. I'm not saying that shit is bad... It's like slutty Chino grub, we all know that garbage ain't real Chinese food but when you're drunk, hungover or high as a motherfucker, a General Tso's cheekan with thick cloying HFCS brown sauce with crappy fried rice and a fried cheekan wing on the side tastes like heaven. That's the same with Mexican't grub, it's slutty moistback comidas... And it has it place in society. Finding a decent semi-authentic Mexican joint intown is an adventure. 
I was riding around Avondale and missed my turn on North Clarendon Ave and I went past the Stratford Pub... I mean nobody ever goes east past the Stratford unless you made a mistake.. Lord knows I have made many wrong turns in my measly life, all of them mistakes and the big guy never throws me a bone. But this turned out to be a good mistake because I noticed a new-ish Mexi joint just a block down called Santo Cantina. I'm like sheeeeeit, what is this place? I need to investigate... It's a cute little place and y'all know that the smaller the dump, the better the food... Well, usually... Let's go take a first look... OK, first off, I must admit that the gringo at the table really really wanted the white queso so we got it and I shoulda took a picture of it but I didn't want to make fun of him because that would be mean... Because the Pouch is such a sweetheart... (cue vomit noise).

Birria Tacos (Jalisco), crispy tacos with spiced beef stew, served with Jalisco au jus. Ah fuck... When I saw this on the menu, it was a no-brainer. C'mon, man, how can you not get the most trendy taco in this one horse town... The birria "wet" taco has become legendary status the last couple years in da ATL. It comes with the standard accoutrements... Let's take a closer look at this Mexi moist meat flap...

Why do all tacos remind me of my ex's... That's because I had low standards... Did I say that out loud? Eh, fuck it, no one reads this garbage blog anyways, it's like talking to my wall nightly, no one will hear a word. But look at this specimen, it's actually quite lovely. Look at that cheese oozing out but yet firm and holding together. Dipped it in the "au jus" and took a bite... Not too shabby. The au jus wasn't all that flavorful but it did it's job. The birria taco was pretty good, the savory stewed shredded beef with the cheese and the solid corn tortilla held together well and took each bite like a champ without falling all apart. I don't know what's going on with that salsa verde thingy but I poured a little bit on it and it really didn't do anything to enhance the taste. This version is better than most found intown... I tried the one at Antiguo Lobo in Chamblee but it wasn't worthy of a solo review, meh.

Rice and Refried Beans. These two ubiquitous sides that come with every gringo combo meal are usually bland and flavorless, their sole purpose is to fill and expand in your pouch and give you a Mexi muffin top... Hmm, now I know why so many LatinaX's have a FUPA like this fat chode. Let's get back on track here, Pouch... I tell y'all what, these two side were really good, the rice was seasoned very well and the refried beans didn't taste like it came out of a lead lined can, even if it did. WTF is wrong with you, Pouch? You're gushing about fucking rice and beans... So? I have empathy for low rent filler.. 

Mole Ojo Rojo with chicken (breast or leg and thigh), sesame, onion, sour cream, grated fresh panela cheese, Mexican rice, refried beans. Holy mole, this was a pretty nice presentation. It's a nice change to see a Mexi joint that puts thought and care on plating their dishes in a visually appetizing way. Most places just slop it on the well worn plate, throw it in the oven for 5 minzies and send it out piping hot to kill any residual bacteria from last week's leftovers mixed in with the new batch. I know it's Mexi grub but it looks clean, fresh and vibrant. The gringo got this with.. What else? Breasts instead of the leg and thigh which we all know is way more flavorful... But I digress, roundeyes fucking love cheekan breasts. I had to have a taste of this... Even with the breasts, it was quite tender and the thick mole did a great job on enhancing the bland white meat. I'm going to order this next time with leg and thigh and I already know it will be 10 times better. 

Baja Fish Tacos, lettuce, tomato, habanero cream. Fish tacos are always hit or miss. Grilled fish tacos always comes out broken apart and pain to eat with everything falling out... So, fried has been my default ever since. I think they said it was Mahi-Mahi and they offer them in corn or flour tortilla, I asked for one of each because fatties like variety. They give you a decent amount of fish in each taco. But somehow the habanero cream only made it on one taco and the other was totally naked with a little monkey dish of some salsa-esque to put on it. I think the cook plating this was snorting lines on the line... I may need a bump, ese. I like the double ply of corn tortilla but their corn tortillas are pretty sturdy already. The single ply flour tortilla is standard issue. The fried fish was seasoned pretty well and it was crispy, the breading was not too thick which is always preferred. It's a very decent fish taco but I would try their other dishes before reordering these, again.

I like this place, it's a local mom & pop shop that seems like it's getting good support from the community. It's pricey than most Mexi joints but the quality is a lot better. If you want a cheap speedy Gonzalez combo, go to La Parilla, El Azteca, El Ponce, On the Border or the handful of other Mexican't joints littered across the Atlanta landscape. With the record high inflation, you may not be going every week but once a month is totally doable.

Pump pump... Ole!

31N S Avondale Plaza
Avondale Estates, GA 30002
https://santoatl.com/


**BONUS Footnote Review-

Antiguo Lobo- Birria Tacos. I wasn't in love with this place but the sloppy birria tacos were acceptable if you needed a quick gringo taco fix (the service sucks ass)... I came here after I drank myself silly at DOMA (Distillery of Modern Art) around the block. DOMA fucking ROCKS. Lobo fucking lazy.



Friday, September 16, 2022

Baby Al's Chicago Dog

I binged the entire season of The Bear in one night and I was jonesing for an Chi-talian beef and Chi-dog... There is just no good Chicago grub in this one horse town. I looked around online but there was nothing... Then I remembered there was a hole-in-the-wall dump in the woods of Lilburn called Baby Al's and they had Chi-town grub... It's a big gamble to drive to Lilburn for some Chicago street food but I couldn't just drink a whole bottle of Malort alone on an empty pouch and then cry myself to sleep afterwards... I may not wake up. Fuck it, let's burn some expensive fossil fuels and get some overpriced fraudy Chi-slop. I need to satisfy my curiosity and fill the abyss AKA the Pouch...

I love the simplicity of their menu... Less items usually means better quality. They can focus more on each item with care and do it right.

Why is there a Nashville Hot Chicken sando on the menu at a Chicago beef and dog joint? And why am I tempted to get it?

Italian Beef Sandwich, on Turano bread either wet or dry in the au jus with giardiniera peppers or sweet peppers. Did they say Turano bread? I just squirted a little in my underpants. Oh, fuck yes... Come to find out that Turano bakery has a location in Villa Rica, GA. Now, I had to have one, not that I wasn't gonna get a Ginzo beef sando anyways. So, I ordered a light dip so it wouldn't be all soggy and breaking apart. What da fuck is that creasture? It looked like elbow skin from a 80 year old hag with maggots festering between the flaps. Why is that roll so fleshy looking? Did they put SPF 100 on it? I don't think they finished baking that French Roll. Jesus, why do I always get fucked... Maybe because I'm obeast and people always look down on me... Fuck me, even Brendan Fraser laughs at me and he's the fucking Whale! 
Ok, back this specimen, it just doesn't look very appetizing does it? I asked for both giardiniera and sweet peppers and of course there was a upcharge. I also asked for a light dip but I think they dropped it in the jus bucket and try to fish it out with a dirty hippie sandal. I guess I'll have to treat it like when I hook up with a fat chick from Steak 'n Shake... Beauty is a light switch away... Have y'all even seen two cows bumping uglies in the light? It's just udderly revolting. Click. And I ate this in the dark and pretended that I was back at Al's #1 Italian Beef... But I could not get the image of that sloppy mons pubis out of my pea brain and my brain kept zooming in on that image with every sloppy bite. I had to stop eating it halfway through and the Pouch never quits halfway eating anything. But this did me in. I couldn't eat this anymore... I shoulda just stuck with the Nashville Hot Chicken sando instead at this Chicago joint...

Chicago dog, Vienna beef frank with mustard, relish, chopped onions, tomatoes, pickle spear, celery salt and sport peppers on a poppy seed bun. Just when I thought they couldn't fuck up any more than that disgusting Eyetalian beef sando, they go ahead and redeem themselves with this perfectly made Chi-dog ran through the garden... The snap of the casing on that Vienna frank hit the spot and everything else went down well. All the fillers were bright and vibrant and the poppy seed bun was spot-on unlike that nasty beef roll.

Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna come back to this joint, ever again... It's just too far to drive to be disappointed again. Now, I need to go back to Skip's in Avondale for another try, I haven't been back in many many moons but it's a shorter drive to be disappointed.

529 Indian Trail Lilburn Rd NW
Lilburn, GA 30047
http://www.babyalschicagodog.net/