Tum Pok Pok

A few years ago, the lowly street food was introduced to this one horse town via the so-called Food Truck movement... And what a fucking debacle that was. Can the city of Atlanta and the elected knuckleheads that the pedestrian public voted in be anymore useless and clueless to the whole concept of a food truck? They put in so many restrictions on what a food truck can and cannot do. These things have an engine and wheels for a reason... So, they can go to where the people are. Not the other way around. It's such a simple goddamn concept: Food trucks come to you, you don't go to a fucking food truck park. It's like bringing your broken toilet to a plumber... Shit, I have broken a toilet or ten in my days. Don't ask, don't tell, bro... The explosive IBS may had something to do with bad street food.

So, I have been watching this place come to life every time I go to the newest Best BBQ a couple doors down. This semi-curse space has failed a bunch of gimmicky Vietnamese/fusion concepts over the years... Oh, let me count the ways... The ones that come to mind are Kajun Crab, WOW Pho & Grill, GAO... There were prolly a couple other shitholes that occupied this space for a brief time but that is neither here nor there. Now, a couple of new suckaz, err, players have decided they want to try to exorcise this hellhole of the previous failures and curses... Can a Thai street grub concept make it here? We shall see... Let's go take a first look..    

The space has been totally made over with most of the decor imported from Thailand. It's very bright and colorful which makes it an entertaining and comfortable place that you want to be at. It's just fun, period. It also makes you kinda feel like you're in Thailand with the friendly staff and ex-pats eating in there. They got the look down but what about the street food menu... Let's check out a few classic dishes before the Pouch invest more time, money and emotion into this place. 

Neau Sa-Wan, Thai style beef jerky, $9. This was a no brainer... Gotta get the Thai beef jerky every time you see it on the menu. It looked great when it come out to the table and it smelled good, too... The spices and the little char were spot-on, but some pieces were too gristly and you chew and chew and chew and then spit it out... I thought about just swallowing it like how I was trained to do but I needed the Pouch space for the rest of the dishes to be had. It's a classic street food but they may need to use a little quality control on the pieces they select... But I will prolly still order it again next time like the fat Pavlovian dog that I am.

Som Tum Thai, Thai style papaya salad, $9. They got a Som Tum Pla Lah with fermented fish sauce which sounded awesome but I wanted to try the classic first... They also have a Som Tum Tard which is basically a sampler platter that looked like a perfect all-in-one meal for a Ra-Tard like me. Let's get back to this classic somtum... Looks great with the vibrant colors across the entire plate, the only thing missing was the dried shrimp. I tossed this Thai salad for like 3 minzies (that's usually how long I can last) to coat everything with the gash juices on the bottom to get the full flavor in each bite... And the verdict is... A very tasty papaya salad that can compete with the best of them in this one horse town. I wouldn't say no to a bit more fish sauce but that's just me because I like big smelly flavors and make strangers smell my fingaz. It's not spicy on the first couple of bites but it does build up and the tingles start to pop in your facehole. This is a really tasty papaya salad and it's hard enough to find any Thai joints that even have a decent somtum on their menu. For the Tards that think this was not fishy or stinky enough, just ask them for some extra high octane ladyboy snatch sauce on the side. For me, I will be definitely getting the fermented fish sauce one next time... Extra funky, pweez.

Gai Yang, Thai style marinated quarter chicken with sweet chili sauce, $9. Someone say cheekan? Thai cheekan?? Fuck yeah, bro, just order it... Y'all know I can't resist dark meat. When it came out, I was a bit disappointed with the missing skin a la bris... Was this Kosher? Did the rabbi in the back snip a little too much off on this hooded demon? C'mon, Hebrah, y'all know the flappy skin is one of the best parts... That's what she said. But after I took a bite of their flavorful, ultra tender and moist cheekan, I gave them a pass on the missing skin. This cheekan quarter was really tasty but the chili sauce was weak. L'Chaim!

Pad Thai, rice noodle, tamarind sauce, bean sprouts, scallion, peanuts, $12.  Shit, you can not NOT order this at a supposedly authentic Thai street food joint... This manly noodle dish is a must, a given on any visit or else get the fuck outta here, katheoy... Mix all that shit up well but it still needed a couple more lime wedges for that extra sweet acidity. The rice noodles were toothy, well seasoned with the tamarind sauce and just a very classic national dish example... It was spot on. You don't even need any protein in there, seriously.

Green Curry with beef, basil, bamboo shoot, green bean, Thai eggplant, $14. I fucking love green curry... I got it so many times when I was in Thailand that my chicken lips were turning green and my bunghole was red like those street monkeys... I have seen more shitholes in the floor aka squat toilets than I really needed to on this trip. But this version was lacking in flavor, richness and complexity... It was watery like from a pond full of algae. I told one of the dudes that it was not spicy at all and he came back with 4 jars of assorted seasoned/pickled chili peppers... I nearly dumped the entire jar of green Thai chili and jalapeno in this bowl and it still wasn't spicy enough. What a disappointment... I took it home and whipped up some of my green curry paste and added it to this and what a difference it made, it was edible. I was hoping this dish would bring me back to Thailand but the only thing that it reminded me of was the nasty squat toilets. The only plus in this bowl was the Thai eggplant. Splat. 

I like this joint. It's fun. The street grub is a bit on the pricey side but the flavors and taste of the dishes sampled hit the right notes and I would definitely come back and sample the rest of the menu... Fuck the curry, though... Now, I'm going to cry myself to sleep... Yet again.

5000 Buford Hwy NE

Suite A112

Chamblee, GA 30341

https://tumpokpok.com/

Woodward And Park

The owners' original plan was to make this joint into a fine dining resto with Robert Phalen... Did they not get the memo? Fine dining is dead, bro... And who the fuck wants to go to Memorial Drive for fine dining? Only mooks who want to get mugged afterwards that's who. That strip is not exactly a destination spot. Thank newborn 8 lbs 6oz baby Jesus that Phalen decided to focus on his wonderful joint, One Eared Stag, instead... But sadly, it turns out that he's closing OES, now. That decision probably saved this places' ass... Open your eyes and look around this area... Yeah, it's being developed and gentrified like a mofo but that doesn't mean a fine dining destination will do well here. It's like dressing up to go to East Point for tacos... Ok, I would dress up for the world famous Chic-A-Loes' cheekan sando, but that's the only exception. I mean who goes to East Point unless it's under gun point. 

Located in the Larkin on Memorial mixed-use center, this new comer joins a handful of other restos- Firepit Pizza (I can't believe this place is still open, maybe they revamped the menu?), Full Commission, Ramen Station and I'll put Grant Park Market on this list as well with their cool counter service. But let's focus on this new joint since I was curious about the very approachable and diverse hand picked menu. It's a mix of different flavors from around the world- A little Japanese, a little Korean, a little Polish, a little Southern, a little American and a little rock and roll. It's not a big menu by any means which could mean they care about quality over quantity and not mass producing the same generic dishes like everywhere else. There's some gimmicky dishes like the okonomiyaki, tempura avocado and Korean pork philly... But it ain't gonna hurt my feelings because they have bone marrow on the menu. The Pouch's instincts are usually correct and I'm getting a warm and fuzzy feeling with this place or was that my hand down my pants, again... Shit, that reminds me, I need to manscape, STAT. Shit, I'm like an Alaskan Bush People or is that Atlantan Bush People. Damn Covid and the whole work from home gig for the last year really makes you forget to do a lot personal upkeep... Maybe that urban myth about the origins of hairy palms ain't a myth afterall, squirt.

Let's take a first look... I love the space and I love the cozy bar. It's a simple, clean and modern space. They call it "a casual but elegant neighborhood bistro with a seasonal menu"... I concur. The staff was on point, greeting people coming through the doors within seconds and sitting people quickly and orderly. Hell, I don't want to jinx it, so, let's get right to it... Just stick with the classics, Pouch... Don't fuck around and screw this up...

Roasted Bone Marrow, chimichurri, sourdough, pickled shallots, $12. I haven't had bone marrow in such a long time (besides making it at home but it's hard to find the length sliced bone marrow) and this was just a treat. They call it the "canoe-cut" marrow bones from the Stone Mountain Cattle Co. located in Dublin, GA which is nowhere near Stone Mountain... But who knew there was one. The marrow was spot-on with just the right amount of spreadable gelatinous gooey savory bone snot that paired well with the sour dough. And if you like to make it last like I do, they will accommodate you with more bread. Love it.

Tempura Avocado, sweet Thai chili sauce, cilantro, sesame, $9. Shit, don't blame me... I didn't order it but I will eat it. Yes, it's gimmicky as hell but I gotta admit it is a fun dish even if the presentation is like a mom putting pizza rolls on a plate for a 5 year old... If they put this on toast, the roundeyes will eat the shit outta this and pay $20 for it... Not that they don't already.

Burrata, herb oil, porcini condiment, sourdough, $10. Ok, I gotta admit that spreading some of this vibrant burrata on top of the bone marrow is sacrilegious but this fat turd don't give a fuck because it tasted fucking amazing. Look, it all goes to the same place... But have y'all ever heard of anyone complaining about the cheese on a Filet-O-Fish? Yeah, didn't think so motherfuckers. This burrata was gorgeous, the vibrant green herb oil and the earthy porcini condiment underneath worked together perfectly and naturally. It just tasted so clean and healthy... But I ain't getting any skinnier.

Pierogi, 48 hour brisket, caramelized onion and potato; braised cabbage, farmers cheese and potato; served with roasted apple, charred rosemary & thyme crema, $8. I love pierogis because every cuisine and culture have their own version of the dumpling. And these playful little Polish empanadas really hit the spot. I wished they gave you four of these but I would even settle for three at this price.

W&P Burger, 7 oz stone mountain cattle co. grass-fed beef, hot mustard, roasted garlic aioli, white american cheese, house pickles, sweet onion, handcut fries, $15. Requested mid-rare minus since most places overcook the classic burger but this meat patty came out perfectly juicy which the sturdy bun absorbed it without turning it into a pink dough. I wished I took a picture of that gorgeous rosy red center when I cut it in half but I couldn't help myself and literally ate the entire thing without stopping one bit except to pick up the other half. It's one of the tastiest burgers I have had recently in this one horse town. I love how the 'murican cheez blankets the entire patty so you get the full flavor of all the ingredients (hidden under the cheese blanket) with every bite. The handcut fries are addictive as well.

Steak Frites, stone mountain cattle co. 10 oz bistro steak, sauce bernaise, handcut fries, $27. I'm beginning to like this Stone Mountain Cattle Co.'s products... But let's see how their steaks are... And of course, they hit it out of the park, again. Requested mid-rare and it was spot-on once again with a perfect rosy juicy center. The steak was full of flavor and so tender with the perfect bite that required little effort to masticate it down to the pouch. And my dopey brain produced enough dopamine to satisfy my cravings without even touching my special place.

Stone Creek Farm Mixed Greens, toasted pecan, goat lady chevre, citrus, radish, persimmon vinaigrette, $10. I ate so much beef parts in one sitting that I might as well eat like a cow... Wait, I do already. Jesus, I really am a heifer... So, I might as well eat what they do... Ruffage time. This ain't no ordinary house salad with crappy dressing from a squeeze bottle. Look at the colors in this bowl and the persimmon vinaigrette is making me horny for some young lady goats... C'mon, Man! There's kids in here... No pun intended. 

This is a nice addition to the Atlanta restaurant scene... It's not fancypants and overpriced for average grub like at most places that sell the idea of what fine dining should be to gullible schmucks and the food is anything but. W&P's menu is what they say it is... Casual but elegant. This is what people want to eat. Good food shouldn't have to be in a formal setting. I love to see what they have in store next on their seasonal menu... And continue to keep it under 15 items. There is absolutely no reason to have a ridiculously large menu like a shitty diner with almost everything coming from a freezer.

Did the Pouch actually liked a place on the first try? Fuck me, I did.

Squirt.

519 Memorial Dr. SE

Atlanta, GA 30312

woodwardparkatl.com