Chicks know how to Jedi mind trick dudes... Especially, when they're pounding the brown juice. So, the Pouch was enjoying a nice bottle of rye whiskey and the Pouchette waits until the bottle is almost finished to baby Yoda the Pouch into agreeing to go see some Narnia play in the woods at night... What fucking dumbass would say yes to being murdered by some mossbacks in downstate GA? This stupid fat fuck did because I didn't even know what planet I was on... But by shear luck, this outdoor night play was being held at Serenbe. So, of course, I look up the menu for the Farmhouse because there has to be a silver lining to this debacle... A last meal before my execution of sorts... Or before some toothless hillbilly ties me to a tree and makes me squeal like a pig... I better bring some travel size Vaseline and hand sanitizer just in case.
I did survive the Narnia play with the assist from the 2 for 1 happy hour at the Farmhouse... Oh, I got a lot of help from Buffalo Trace pre-theater. And they even sold booze during the play which turned out to be more like a LARP session... Let's just say the sword play was like two fat nerds playing badminton with an imaginary shuttlecock. Speaking of cock, I hope they have fried chicken tonight... Let's see what's good to eat in this one donkey town...
Double fisting old fashioned PT (pre-theater) and AT (after-theater). Kinda hard to say no to multiple $5 whiskey cocktails during their happy hour.
Chef Selected Charcuterie, duck prosciutto, whiskey salumi, iberico meat and cheeses. Screw Denny's Sampler... Now, this is a real sampler platter. Look at this decadent spread of cured manmeat flaps and cheeses, you just can't get any nicer than this. This is a good start because this fat fuck is starving... Feed me, Nicky!
Hudson Valley Foie Gras Terrine, rose gelee, cherries, brioche. There is nothing wrong with force feeding... I do that on a daily basis. This hefty piece of terrine was super velvety and creamy. It was spot on. If I had a whole terrine pan of this, I would mold it into a fleshlight... Wait, did I just say that out loud... I'm so lonely. Squirt.
Blue Crab Fritter, remoulade, baby lettuce. It's like the superball of crab fritters... Bounce that shit in my facehole, pweez. That entire thing is full of crabs... Just like the Pouch... Which reminds me of that one night in Bangkok. I was so fucking sauced, I didn't know if that thing I hooked up with was a lady or lady boy... Don't ask, don't tell... Whoops, too late. As my uncle, who was a real jerk, would always say- Lord loves a working man, don't trust whitey, see a doctor and get rid of it. Fuck that noise, this is one crabs I can live with.
Wagyu Carpaccio, black truffle cream, pickled mushrooms, capers, sweetgrass tomme, greens. I lurv me some raw manmeat flaps... And it was friggin dericious. I loved the pickled shrooms on it, gave it a little kick. I wonder if you can American Pie this dish.
Muscovy Duck. One of the specials of the night... Look at the size of those breasteses. Gawd-dayum! They shoulda called it Motorboat duck. I like big ducks and I can not lie. The temp was spot on with a beautiful rosy hue throughout. So damn guud.
Chicken Quarter Confit, cassoulet, greens, sherry vinaigrette reduction. They didn't have fried chicken but it was either this, the braised rabbit or the rack of venison... But I'm a sucka for anything confit. And cheekan has a special place in the Pouch's heart, so, it was a no brainer. The flavors were wonderful but the chicken was a little dry... Not a deal breaker but with all the amazing dishes sampled thus far this was just a notch below. Still a good dish, though... And yes, I ate it all. Y'all remember the act that Congress passed back in 2002- No Cheekan Left Behind. Or was that just a wet dream of mine... Nightly.
Chef's Farm Veg Plate- Truffle Risotto. So Much Goddamn Truffles... That this oinker shoveled all that yum yums in with it's snout, sans fork. I looked like the little brother eating oatmeal from A Christmas Story. Not too gummy, not too wet, not too starchy... Just a great execution on this risotto. It might even be a bit better than my scallop and creamed corn risotto... Nah.
Pan Seared Scallops, parsnip puree, corn & pepper succotash, smoked trout roe, vanilla olive oil. Most joints charge an arm and a leg for 3 medium scallops that are usually overcooked and dried out... But not this joint. They give you four and a half scallops that was seared perfectly and moist inside that melted in your facehole. Pair it with some of the truffle risotto and it becomes an incredible dish.
Spanish Chocolate Beignets. Jesus, how much can this fat fuck eat... Y'all know I can let my one reader down. These chocolaty cow muffins tasted like little fluffy brown clouds from bovine heaven. So good, they don't even need the fruit and marshmallow dips on the side, but it doesn't hurt, either.
I know Serenbe is a bit of a drive from Atlanta but it was totally worth it. The community is really nice but it's secluded and got to be boring as fuck to live there on a daily basis... It's like the witness protection heaven. I kid, I kid... It's a beautiful little commune that David Koresh would be jealous of. The Farmhouse is a must visit/eat destination, especially, with Nicolas Bour at the helm of this resto group. That boy can cook and he's sexy, too. I might even come back and endure another LARP session just so I can eat here again.
Pump pump... Squirt!
10950 Hutcheson Ferry Road
Chatt Hills, GA 30268
https://serenbefarmhouse.com/
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