City Barbeque

The Decatur area has been blowing up lately and with new developments come new stores and new restos... But sadly, most restos in new developments are usually franchises or chains that everybody and their mother has eaten at before or refuse to eat again after bad service, food or experiences. Barbeque is big in the south and this town ain't no stranger to very good BBQ. But there are also a ton of really shitty que that somehow has garnished incredible reviews by celebrities and Yelpsters for mediocre grub. So, now comes a new BBQ contender to the new Decatur Crossing shopping center. They are a chain from Ohio and have a few dozen locations spread around 5 states. They supposedly got their start from guys who competed at BBQ competitions and then decided to get together and open up a brick and mortar shop to showcase their award winning que... Sounds pretty damn promising right?
Well, I guess it's time for the pouch to take a first look... I hope it's edible or else the pouch will donkey punch it back to whence it came. The ordering process is almost full retard, you got like one order taker/cashier at the counter so of course a fucking long ass line going out the door is inevitable. Why do so many places do this? If you are gonna set up a order counter right when you get in, at least make some room. It looked like cattle was being herded for slaughter... Speaking of cattle... Let's take a look at the goods.

Judge's Sampler, 1/4 chicken and 1/2 slab of ribs plus pulled pork, beef brisket, 2 sides, 2 cornbreads and Texas toast.

Giant metal bucket of manmeats. It's nice they pack up all the meats in a tin tray with a lid but they really didn't have to do that, it's kinda a waste of money using these big aluminum trays for to go orders. Some butcher paper woulda been adequate. Let's go in order here with the 1/4 chicken, they asked me if I wanted dark or white meat... I always go for the dark because the white gets so dried out and chewy, but I gave them the benefit of the doubt and tried the white meat to see if it was any good or different... Nope, it's about the same as all the other places with white meat, dry and chewy, but it did have a nice flavor and hint of smokiness to it. Definitely, go for the dark meat next time and every time. The ribs looked very nice, great color and smell to it, they only lightly brushed it with their house BBQ sauce. The ribs do pull apart quite easily but you do have to eat them quickly or else they kinda dry out too soon. I don't know if this rib was sitting in the warm box longer than it should have but this woulda been a pretty good rib if it came out fresh from the smoker. The pulled pork was hand pulled roughly and not all minced up which was preferred but you had to sauce the pulled pork up in order to get any decent flavor out of it. The brisket had a great dark bark on it and a nice smoke ring around the edges. It was moist, tender and juicy... Not a bad brisket at all for a chain resto. Overall, all the meats were surprisingly decent that I would actually go back for it again soon.  

Mac & Cheese, Red Beans & Rice. The mac was ok, the cheese sauce was a bit bland. The red beans & rice had nice size chunks of chicken in it. I don't know if I would use chicken but it didn't hurt my feelings, either.

Cornbread and Texas Toast. The cornbread was a bit dry and needed more butter and salt. The Texas toast was acceptable. Both were just filler and not really meant to enhance the BBQ, but you could use the toast to sop up the red beans & rice juice with it.

The Judge's sampler for $29 ain't a bad deal considering what you're getting. It will definitely feed two people with leftovers and perhaps even 4 medium sized humans under 5'7". The set up is quite efficient except for the ordering process. There's a sauce stand where you can load up on different sauces... None of them were that great and they kinda taste the same after awhile. But it will do the trick if you need some lube to swallow that manmeat down. I like the place so far and they just opened, so, hopefully with a little more practice and routine they will become more consistent and efficient. The convenient location alone will get me back there sooner than later.


2511 Blackmon Dr.
Decatur, GA 30033
https://www.citybbq.com/

Kaiser's Chophouse Revisit

The pouch was craving some thick juicy raw manmeat and there was no fucking way I was going back to LongHorn for their legendary steak so soon after I found one of Frankenstein's neck bolts in my Caesar salad... No matter how many mouth watering commercials I see on the TV with their chubby sizzling meatpuck spraying juicy grease all over the screen. It was tempting but I wasn't in the mood to bite into a Bosch spark plug in my chili cheese fries so soon. I needed expertly prepared manmeat without the worry of finding HVAC parts in my food... So, the second thought that came into my tiny pea brain for a hunky piece of beefcake was Kaiser's cowboy ribeye. Shit, why not, I needed to make a revisit anyways and see if they are still as good as my first visit. This joint ain't cheap but fuck it, what else am I gonna splurge on with my $50,000 millionaire budget. Jesus, who am I kidding? I can barely afford to eat here, let alone get to upstate Atlanta with gas prices these days. Maybe they're on Scoutmob, perhaps they will give me a discount or freebies with my old Yelp Elite card... Shit, they are not on Scoutmob... And they don't have a People Love Us on Yelp sticker on the door, either. Well, I guess the next best thing to a free meal is a credit card under somebody else's name... Thanks, Equifax! Suckaz...
Let's make an anonymous revisit and see how things are going these days...

A pretty decent Manhattan that was just boozy enough to get the pouch buzzed... Ok, maybe after 3 or 4 of them. Their bread plate thinger is still pretty tasty.

Snake River Wagyu Eye of the Round Steak Tartar. The first time I had it was pretty damn good, on this visit it was just as good as the first time. The little cubes of properly seasoned raw meat had a nice texture and bite to it. Can't really ask for more from this... I would prolly order this every time.

Hamachi. You know this classic Nobu dish has jumped the shark when a suburban steakhouse has this on their menu. It looked like a total confetti mess but once you dig in there for the hamachi, it was pretty good. But I don't know if it's a dish I would want to order every time.

Beef & Veal Meatballs Napoli. I don't even know how meatballs and sauce became a thing and started showing up as an appetizer on menus... Maybe it's from all these retards claiming to be gluten intolerant or whatever condition they made up for the season to socially cool... It's like putting a burger patty with ketchup as an app on the menu just to satisfy these numbnuts. But as for the meatballs, there were pretty good. It's kinda hard to fuck up meatballs and tomato sauce... Unless you used sawdust in the meat filler.

Beef Carpaccio. The best thing about this dish was that the meatflaps were not premade on the plate and tossed into a reach in... They did not stick to the plate and you could actually lift it off the plate to enjoy it anyway you like. Most places premake the plates and they just stick to the plate and breaks apart when you try to peel it off. Overall, this was pretty good just because of that reason alone. 

Wine break... This was a pretty solid bottle of cab from Napa Valley... Of course, it was marked up like 300%, but I still drank it without too much anxiety. This was like a pouch lubricant, it got me in the mood to swallow down some imminent massive manmeat...

Prime Cowboy Ribeye (Dry Aged 20 oz. I got this last time I was here and had them cut it up for me because I felt lazy and bloated and wanted them to make sure it was cooked to temp since I didn't have the patience to send it back that night and wait for another. Since, it was executed spot on last time, I just had the gentile staff bring it out uncut... And it was glorious with a spot-on temp at mid-rare. I'm popping such a yuge boner right now that could play a Taiko drum... Yes, I was that hard for this manmeat. This hunk of beefcake ain't cheap but with each buttery slice that went into my facehole repeatedly, I felt less and less concerned about the price tag that was due to come at the end of the night. Yeah, this cowboy ribeye was just as good as the last time. 

Barrel Cut Beef Filet 6 oz., foie gras. I couldn't pass up the opportunity to sample their classic filet cut since I didn't know when I would be back... It was a nice little snack size puck of meat, but I had to add in the foie gras before those anti-'murica anti-liver antifa-shionistas spread their virus and bad fashion sense to the east coast and force a ban on this buttery delicacy. The presentation was a total snoozer, they just put the meat on giant empty white plate with the foie on top... But it was just a snack after all so I was totally ok with it. The perfect mid-rare filet was seasoned well and tender as fuck. Let the foie lobe sit on top for a bit to drip it's fat juices all over that ladyboymeat which will make it taste even more decadent. The filet ain't my first choice at a steakhouse because it's such a girly petite cut but damn, if it tastes as good as this, I would totally put a skirt on for it, even some Spanx to cover my muffin top.

KC Spaetzle w/ Onions Gruyere, Granny’s Creamed Corn, Grilled Asparagus w/ Aged Balsamic, Fried Onion Rings w/ KC Steak Sauce, Whipped Potatoes, Big Elbow Mac & Cheese, Mushroom Risotto. Jesus Christ, no amount of Spanx will cover up my muffin pouch with this spread of sides on the table... This is just obscene. How fucking much food can the pouch consume... Wait, don't answer that question. Everything on this table was good except the giant onion rings... I fucking hate giant onion rings, it just doesn't make sense. You just simply can't fit that shit into your cum dumpster with that girthy diameter. And we all know that it's sacrilegious to cut up onion rings into bite size pieces because they just break apart into pieces. It's like cutting up a footlong, you just don't do it.

Bananas Foster Bread Pudding, Ice Cream and Caramelized Bananas. There was some diabolical grubby silhouette reaching in for the kill before I could snap this pic... Took one bite and I was dunzo. It was ok but it just pales in comparison to all the sick grub that was just had. Not even the grim reaper with the blade of his scythe to my double chinned turkey neck can make me eat dessert. 

Kaiser's did it again... This joint had another very respectable showing of the talent in the kitchen and the quality of the ingredients spoke for themselves. The pouch was left happy, buzzed and bloated after this spread... Until the check came... Oh, excuse me, I need to wash my hands cuz I just soiled my underpants... Then I realized the name on my new credit card was John Cock... tos... ton. And we all know how generous those Scotch/Romanians are when it comes to splurging on dinner like caviar, lobster thermidor, Dom Perignon, bloody mary, steak sandwich and a steak sandwich... But tonight, the Underhills will be paying the tab.

5975 Roswell Rd
Sandy Springs, GA 30328
https://www.kaiserschophouse.com/

WOW Pho & Grill Vietnamese Noodle & Grill

We all know the Food Terminal has been kicking ass and taking names... Mostly because there's always a line to get in there... But a new pho joint quietly opened up just across the parking lot next to Big Wong BBQ which tastes more like dog dong BBQ... They are always trying to sell the leftover scraps at a deep discount on a table placed strategically on your way out of the market. But let's get back to this new pho joint... When I see "Pho & Grill" it reminds me of bars that always have "Pub & Grille" after the name of it, but this pho joint forgot the "e" at the end of grill, so, it might not be as fancy as those dumpy pubs. What's also funny is that they have a sign right underneath it that says, "Vietnamese Noodle & Grill"... Why didn't they just make one sign that says, "Vietnamese Pho & Grill" and saved some money. The greenish round sign also says, "Pho & Grill", too... I guess they really wanted to make sure that people know what they're getting into when they come to eat here. Walked in and was I surprised... It was pretty fancy for a pho joint. You just don't expect decorative tile work all throughout a noodle soup spot. Staring at the amount of tile work almost made me vomit after a while... And I didn't even have any fingers down my throat. Seriously, who needs this much tile work, it was fucking all over the place. But the place was pretty clean and modern looking, something that I don't expect when I'm eating back alley pho. But the cleanliness kinda ended there when I inspected the jars of hot sauces and oil on the table... I lifted up the covers of each sauce pot and they were absolutely filthy. Skip that shit, yo. The menus are fancy looking, laminated and the idea was obviously ripped off from Food Terminal. But who cares about how the menus look... I care only about the grub... So, let's take a sneak peek with a quick little sampler...

Standard garnish... Except that they also included shredded banana blossoms which you don't see that often at many other pho joints. It was a nice touch to see to this.

Custom Pho with meatballs, tendon and tripe. At first glance, I was very pleased by the sizable amount of tendon in there and the meatballs were huge that they had to cut them in half, there was also a decent amount of tripe as well. Looks like a good start to what could be a very decent bowl of pho. Now, the broth taste test... It was a bit light on the flavor, it wasn't rich enough but passable after you doctor it all up with the garnish and condiments. It's not a bad bowl of pho, the protein ingredients were note worthy but overall, it was a little bit above average. If you needed a quick pho fix before or after you go shopping at the market next door, this will do.

Bun Bo Hue. They don't fuck around with piling up this bowl full of goodies. Thick slices of pork patties, big cubes of blood, sizeable ham hock, dollops of pork paste and thin slices of beef. The beef and pork broth was pretty decent but not spicy at all even after I asked them to make it super spicy when I ordered it. They need to put some more noodles in there because I kept fishing for the noodles at the bottom of the bowl and coming up short consistently. But I guess they didn't want to overload it with noodles since they put so much other tasty shit in there. It's not the best bun bo hue around here but like with the pho above, if you needed a quick BBH fix, this will also do in a pinch if you're shopping at the market.

Banh Mi. The pouch can't not order this when it's on the menu... This came out last. The two bowls of noodle soup came out like in 5 minzies but it took them like 15 minz to put this sando together. It better be fucking good after the long wait... Like 15 minutes is such a long wait in real life. The pouch sounds so spoiled and entitled like it had it's own reality show or something... But it really should have it's own show since his ass is twice as large as Kim K's... "Eating Out with the Pouch" has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? Ok, let's get back to this crusty sammich... First of all, it came out looking like Sloth from the Goonies made this... It was wrapped all fucked up and they had it upside down and they even sliced it that way. I had to do a little tweaking to make this more photogenic. The bread was dried out and flaking apart, not from toasting it because you don't even see any toast marks on there... It was days old bread. The garnish was ok, not enough do chau (pickled carrot daikon), though. The grilled pork tasted like it was sauteed with a ton of sauce in a pan and not in a good way... It was like something that you would cook for your dog. You bite into it and it starts to fall apart from all the flaking of the bread and then you get to the "pork"... Which was over sauced, salty and sweet and chewy... I felt like John Candy having to finish the gristle and fat on the Old '96er... Bon appetit, sucka! This banh mi sucked ass... Maybe it was a fluke, maybe the banh mi dude was having a bad day, who knows, who fucking cares... There's no fucking way I'm taking another chance on their banh mi in the future. Just go to the other end of the mall and grab a very decent banh mi from Saigon Tofu.

How many pho joints does this area need within a quarter mile radius... If they are trying to fill up empty store front spaces in this strip mall just to make it look happening... Just don't... For the children. But if you need a quick fix for an average bowl of pho or bun bo hue, I won't make fun of y'all too much... Unless you tell me that the banh mi here are to die for... Then I will cut you and then vomit in your bloody gash.

5000 Buford Hwy #A112
Chamblee, GA 30341
http://wowphoandgrill.com/

Brush Sushi Izakaya Revisit

After visiting the Disney of sushi at Kula Revolting Sushi Bar... I needed some real shit to cover up that sad carousel of warm fish swimming around in the pouch. Top grade sushi is not hard to find in this town but you will pay the price for it... Like at Umi or Tomo. But there's really no need to fight the Buckhead traffic and the Buckhead Army for top notch sushi anymore these days... Brush has been my go to fancypants sooshee joint since they opened. The word is out on their excellent sushi but it's still a destination spot for most people, so it's not super crowded all the time... Which is great for the pouch because it never knows when it's in the mood for sooshee.
So, I was headed to Victory and SOS Tiki Bar for a night of boozing but I walked passed Brush and the pouch instantly had an itch for sushi or it could be from the lack of underpants. That marsupial pouch has no rhyme or reason for instant cravings... It eats with it's eyes first. So, I turned around and walked in and sat at the sushi bar so I can make faces at Jason while he's slicing fish to test his focus and knife skills without cutting himself. I promised myself that I would not over eat and not over order because I had dinner plans later on (like in an hour)... I think the pouch did good on self control on this visit and saved some room for my other rez later on. Let's take a gander on the goods...

Braised Tuna. A tasty little treat if you're sitting at the sushi bar to pump your facehole up for the grub to be had.

Salmon Tartare. One of their nightly specials... I don't usually go for chopped up salmon because you know it's all the left over trimmings that needs to be sold but how do you present it to sheeple is the real trick... And I got suckered in. Nice presentation and tasted pretty pretty pretty guud.

Soft Shell Crab. If you ask nicely, they might just fry up a plump, crunchy and juicy soft shell crab without being put inside a roll or some other contraption to restrict it's glory... They have freed the boobs, now it's time to free the crabs. Squirt... of lemon, pweez.

Brush Platter. The omakase is great here but sometimes you just don't want to eat that much or spend that much... So, my omakase substitute and go to dish is this classic sampler platter... There is more than enough variety to satisfy the pouch's needs and craving. It was a pretty amazing spread of non-traditional fish that most other joints won't have in their inventory.

Snow Crab Chawanmushi. It's not a difficult dish to make but it does take time to steam it right... And this came out pretty damn good. You have to eat your way down to get to the prize which is the snow crab... Free the crabs!

Scallop Roe (male and female). Feed me and call me Norman... Wait, don't call me Norman, call me Chubsy Ubsy. Look at this ridiculous display of female and male scallop roe that even Miss Crabtree would swallow... I'm all up on the crab theme today. Y'all know that the pouch swallowed it all and asked for thirds but these were on limited supply and the pouch dried up their supply of scallop nads... Kinda like my dried up raisins and sex life. But there's always Popeyes to keep my bed warm... Don't hate, it's not weird to sleep with a box of piping hot fried cheekan to keep warm at night.

Uni. I'm still having nightmares from the Uni snot I had at Kula Revolting Sushi... But this gave me back my confidence and virility...Now, if I can only find that leak in my Japanese blow up doll. Look at this golden nugget of briny nads... It was jammed packed in there like a Jenna Jameson threesome. Tasted like the gonads of the gods... And I wanted more salty sweet jizzlobbery in my mouth. Just squirt it in my facehole like shooting the water pistol into the clown's mouth game at the carnival. Jesus, this is getting obscene... Hide yo kids and hide yo wives... And hide the rest of the uni for da pouch.

I have not been disappointed at all with their sushi selection and execution on every visit... It is right up there with the other great sushi joints in town and I love it that it's in Decatur and not in Buckhead... Or else I would rarely go and miss out on some of the best sooshee in town. Goddamnit, I think I over ordered and over ate here again before my other dinner plans... Oh, well, the pouch doesn't get larger by itself... Jesus, I am such a fat disgusting slob and I can't stop consuming mass quantities. I may need intervention, there's a meeting at Popeyes next Wednesday...

Burp.


316 Church St.
Decatur, GA 30030
http://www.brushatl.com/