Gypsy Kitchen

The problem with two restos with two different cuisines next to each other with the same chef running both restos is that it could be really good or suck swamp ass. If the cook sucks at cooking it will bleed across the entire line of both kitchens. Southern Gentleman was awful, god awful. It was not southern (ok maybe southern Jersey) nor a gentleman (it was like a fist pumping ginzo convention in Franklin Square, Long Island).
So, they just got a new chef with a decent resume for both restos... Why are they still only using one chef to run both restos?! That is fucking retarded. They spent so much money on both places (money can't buy you taste.), why be a cheap fuck and hire one chef... It is baffling. It was pretty obvious that the previous chef was just way over his head handling both restos (bless his heart), so, let's continue on that great streak.
 If you're gonna do a tapas/pintxos style joint, get someone that looks the part at least... You know, someone like Luis Guzman from Waiting. Ok, I am just busting balls because SG was so bad overall that I'm thinking this place can't be much better... So, after putting it off for months and months, I'm making an appearance with the new cook at the helm. Let's hope he's got his shit together tonight... Because Cooks & Soldiers is not that far away for a back up plan...

Double Fisting. The bartender was prolly the worst bartender I have seen in this state. Who the fuck hired it? Because that GM needs to be fired. I have never seen someone who hates their job so much and ignore customers like it was her house and she's doing you a favor by letting you stay. If she was some world class bartender that's one thing but she couldn't even make a classic old fashioned and the sazerac was borderline acceptable. I watched her try to do a hard shake... It was like watching Michael J. Fox popping and locking. Just give me a shot of Eagle Rare, can you handle that sweetheart? You twit.

Marcona Almond "Nutella" and Shaved Chorizo. Fancy words doesn't translate to tasty grub. Crusty unchewable hard bread with chocolate spread and cured meat just doesn't sound good. Took one bite and I was done. If I never eat this again it will be too soon. Scrap this crap.
 

Roasted Mushroom Caps. $6 for regular old mushrooms in a very ugly looking parsley hazelnut sauce. I think the parsley goes on after it's cooked for color and garnish. Is there really any cooking skills involved in this dish? Put shrooms in cast iron, pour greasy sauce on top, stick in oven for 6 minzies. I like mushrooms but c'mon, who came up with this... A 5 year old?

Croquetas. Some had chicken in it and others had cauliflower serrano ham in it... Both tasted like mozzarella sticks. Where's the marinara? Next.

Spanish Cigars. These are the cigars I want to stick in Monica Lewinsky's vag... Because I don't ever want to see or eat them ever again. Dates, blue cheese and serrano ham sounds great together but these were incredibly boring in flavor and execution. What did they use for the wrapper... The Constitution? Check the corner for a secret water mark map... Maybe it will tell me where the nearest baño is. Flush.

Patatas Bravas. You better not fuck up fried potatoes. Good, you didn't. Not that these are the hardest things to cook but they tasted ok. But where did they get that nasty water down spicy brava aioli from... Velveeta?

Lamb Kefta Tagine. Serious? It looks like the side of meatballs at Olive Garden. It tasted more like Kroger's 70/30 ground beef in a tube. I'm really stumped here... Is the white jizz in the middle, the egg? Where is the yolk? Where is the promised Moroccan spices and herbs? It reminded me of the meat sauce from a can of Hunt's for $1. Where they get this recipe from... Food Network? You know they did!

Kataifi Wrapped Shrimp. This has got to be the biggest gimmick dish on the entire menu. It's like they ripped this off of Robuchon. Is there a hamachi jalapeno on the menu? No(bu)? I'm sure there will be soon. This is supposedly stuffed with chorizo... I guess they skipped a step. And the piquillo pepper aioli tastes eerily similar to the spicy brava aioli found with the tater dish. Bro, fess up and admit it's the same damn thing.

Confit Spanish Octopus. C'mon, how do you know it's really Spanish octo? Those patatas bravas don't look like potato puree as promised... Maybe after you chew it up (interactive dining is so in right now). The octo was tender but totally flavorless. And how is this octo confit? There was no hint of olive oil. It tasted like it was just poached off in water. Stop lying to people to make it sound more exotic.

Chilled Charred Steamed Leeks. Come again? That's a lot of different cooking methods you got there, son. Make up your mind and just cook the damn thing. There's something called leek ash on here.. Good luck finding and identifying it. I just don't get this dish. It's like desperation on a plate to fill up the menu.

Paella "Fried Rice". Stop it. Stop this nonsense. And stop the fried egg on top of everything. Next thing you know they will put parmesan cheese on churros. This dish wasn't god awful but I know why they made it a fried rice instead of a real paella... Because fried rice is fucking easy to make. I have yet to find a real paella in any resto in this town. They charged $20 for this, you can get the same shitty fried rice found at Chico & Chang for $4.95. 

Marcona Almond Tikka Masala Chicken. Is this a racist joke? Nothing on here resembles anything close to Indian cuisine. It's just plain grilled chicken on a stick, wait, tough and chewy chicken on a stick... I think they microwaved it. The ramekin had nothing that looked like cauliflower couscous, it's black. And that thing hiding in the back from embarrassment wants to be a naan but it's just a roti that's been sitting in a pan of grease. Quick, fold it up and maybe no one will notice behind this lime and cilantro.

Butifarra. Catalan sausage... So they promised. It tasted just as good as the housemade sausage at Publix. It's $20 here for one flesh flute and Publix gives you 5 wieners for less than $5. Go figure.

Pan Roasted Pork Tenderloin. The pork itself was cooked fine even though it was way under-seasoned. Romesco sauce was tasteless and the crispy leeks are on here for what again... To take up space? It's just a really really boring dish when it shoulda been full of flavor.

Churros. Have they gone full retard on this? So, what is it... Savory or sweet? You can't have both. Who puts parmesan cheese on top of churros with the damn chocolate sauce next to it. And what's with that skidmark on that spoon? Is that the cook's tasting spoon he forgot to take off this dish? Come to think of it, I don't think any cooks in this place actually tastes the food they put out. 
  

Flan. I give up.

The entire experience involved more of scratching my head than rubbing my tummy... And if I did rub my pouch that's because I was in pain from the food gut punch. There is nothing Spanish or Moroccan in taste or flavor, it's just a gimmick to use words associated with it while in reality it's just really poor fusion cooking with basic dishes copied from around the world. Like I said before... You can't have one chef running two different restos with two different cuisines. So, about midway through this anguish and suffering I asked if the new chef was even working tonight since I didn't see anyone at the pass (there were different people just kinda coming by picking up the food randomly)... I was told he left the premises abruptly about 3 hours ago and wasn't coming back for the night. Hmmm... A brand new cook leaves his position at prime time. Interesting. I have my own assumptions on that move but you can make your own. I think we all know how this will end. But this is Buckhead where the crowds are superficial, drinks are expensive and poorly made and the food is just for conversation. Which is why this place won't be going anywhere soon... Except maybe for the chef.

I will be crying myself to sleep tonight... Again.

3035 Peachtree Rd NE Suite A209
Atlanta, Georgia
404-939-9840
www.gypsykitchenatl.com