Decent to very good ethnic cuisines can be had in this town if you know where to go and speak the language. But we all know there are no good Thai food in this one horse town. Some say they had amazing Thai in this town, I say you dumb motherfuckers... They wouldn't know good Thai food if it was shoved up their ass like a high colonic. Ooo, kinky... Spicy.
Every single Thai joint I have been to with the exception of one serves dumb down and basically modified skanky Chino grub with a little spice and curry thrown in. If I find a real Thai eggplant in a dish, I'm soiling my underpants with the hopes of finding that elusive Thai Hot dish. My lemon test for motherland Thai grub is the green curry, Thai Hot... But most, if not all, just spoon in gobs of sambal oelek which makes the green curry into a pool of pink poo. Since, I had the pink curry here before, let's try some of their other dishes and see if the pouch approves... Shhhh, let's not get ahead of ourselves here, I already know what y'all gonna say about this visit.
Now, that I have doubled my readership to two readers, this will be a fun way to explore what they have to offer for my fans... Yes, you didn't read that wrong, it's plural vs. for my fan. Let's take a look why Thai people have such a strange love affair with spoons.
Barbeque Pork Jerky. When I saw these on the menu, I was immediately thinking about Tuk Tuk's kickass jerky with sticky rice... "I think I just came... didn't you feel it?" But these little meat roll-ups were as cheesy as Mike Damone. If they served it with sticky rice instead of these shrimp crackers, they would taste much better, but they don't serve sticky rice... That's like saying McDonald's doesn't serve french fries. Baffling.
Roti Canai. Not Thai but they also do Malaysian. Yeah, I said Malaysian grub... The pancake was fine but the cheekan tater curry was too sweet and thick. I'm starting to think all the curries are from a giant can based on the giant can opener mounted on the prep table inside the kitchen.
Martabak. Malaysian pancake stuffed with curry flavored minced beef & chopped onion. This wasn't half bad. I liked it, it was crispy and had decent minced meat flavor. It held together well while popping it into my facehole.
Satay Chicken. I forgot, are we in a Thai joint? There's more Malaysian dishes than Thai. Chicken was grilled nicely and tender but the satay sauce was chunky, clumpy and flavorless... Do we really need a spoon for meat on a stick? I know it ain't for the sauce...
Mixed Veggie with Shrimp. This isn't Thai or Malaysian or Chinese... It's La Choy. That lite sweet brown sauce has whitie written all over it. You know, no Asian ordered this exhibit. Very very average and boring. But some people like boring and flavorless... I know at least 36,596 of them.
Basil Squid. If I had to order something Thai Hot x100, it wasn't gonna be anything that's not red based, I learned my lesson... And not to my surprised they just threw in sambal oelek and red pepper flakes commonly found at your local pizzeria. The squid rings (no tentacles) were obviously previously frozen but they were not as chewy as I thought they would be. The sauce was a tepid mess of taint juice. If it was spicy Thai hot it woulda been ok but the mild heat came mostly from the seeds of the sambal oelek. Can someone pass the Romano shaker, pweez... Use the spoon, have some manners.
Lad-Na Noodles. I don't even know where to start with this... Rice noodle with gravy sauce is one thing but this specimen looked like my underpants after riding 200 miles on a Harley all day in the southern summer heat, can you say swamp ass? Why is it soaking in a thin super sweet two tone sauce? The noodles were all clumped together under those meat flaps... They shoulda just put it in a bowl, make it into a beef noodle soup and call it a day. This was a real loose version of lad na noods. You can always use the spoon to pour some sugar water on me...
Beef Rendang. I'm not laughing, I swear... But this was common sight on the streets of Bangkok. It looks like a panda paw that stepped in shit.... It wants you to scrap the poo off it's hoof with the spoon. The spices were actually decent but not much coconut fragrance was detected in this classic "coconut beef stew". It's not bad, only wished they had some sticky rice to go with it.
Buah Mango Chicken. Ok, this dish while it looks so Americanized which it kinda is, was actually pretty impressive served with the split whole mango for presentation. The flash fried chicken was kinda chewy, the premade overly sweet red sauce was a better version (not by much) found at most hole in the wall Chino joints and strips of mango were plentiful. This dish is so gaudy you just can't help but like it. It almost looks like an Asian poutine... WTF am I talking about, I must be stoned. But not stoned enough not to notice the spoon hiding underneath the mango shell.
Nam Sod. Oh, lookie, a Thai dish in a Thai resto... This dish always seemed so low rent to me but white people seem to love this "spicy" pork salad. White people do lurv salads. The thing is, I don't really enjoy chewing on a thick raw cabbage like a cow, that's me, though. Seriously, who really eats that full half of raw cabbage... This was just an ok dish, not real thrilling or adventurous.
The lack of capable Thai restos make this joint a hot spot. While you won't find many ex-pats dining here, some of the food are totally acceptable when the craving hits... Kinda like a slutty Chino take out dive. It's usually the morning after a long night out boozing and doping.
3
007 North Druid Hills Rd.
Atlanta, GA
404.728.0588
http://www.topspiceatlanta.com/
2 comments:
feh, they're a tad overpriced IMO. Try Siamese Basil Thai on Norcross Tucker. At least as good, better bang for the buck. It's a smaller, family run joint and the dad could probably customize things for your pouch.
Congratulations on doubling your readership!
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