Winter Pouch

Snowpocalypse #2 was just upon us... What did the pouch do to prepare for it? Screw milk and bread, those are for suckaz. The pouch chose to CARB up for hibernation, that way you won't get hibernation sickness... Carbs is where it's at for tasty morsels. If you're gonna eat, eat well, life is too short to cut corners on taste...Well, maybe not at some of these joints.

Augustine's.

Shrimp and  Pork Belly Fried Rice. Are you fucking kidding me?! I had to order it just on principle... For the children. So, all my non-Asian friends say this dish is the bomb... Yeah, maybe after they are bombed. Seriously, is this some racist joke or liberal agenda for cuisine equality? If this dish was gay, no one would want it to come out... Especially, out of the kitchen. It was so salty from the quart of soy sauce used that it would make a deer salt lick seem under-seasoned. It tasted like some frozen fried rice thing in a badly designed Chino take out box made by some ching chong brand in Ecuador you find at 7-Eleven and microwaved at the filthy counter on a road trip with 40 miles of bad road... Sadly, that nuked shit would taste better than this slop. Stick with the fail-safe cracker items on the menu like wings and things with ground meat between bread. Beers here are great, though. I'm still laughing at the egg, it's like they threw it against a wall and watched it ooze down like a Wacky Octopus Wallwalker into a lightly heated saute pan.

Community BBQ.

Brisket and Pork Combo, mac n cheez, brunswick stew. When it's good, it's good. I need to get here more often. They don't chop up the meats into unidentifiable pieces, I know what I'm eating. The B-stew and mac are great as usual.

Redneck Chicken Salad. Banana Pudding. You think you don't see any carbs here but I used one of the thick pieces of toasted bread from the combo and made a cheekan salad sando... So there, carby carbs. Their tasty redneck chix salad and the banana pudding are always the tits. Suckle, suckle.
 
Noni's.

The Noni. This is just a great sandwich, the bread, the meat, the filler... Period. The fries are addictive. That's all she wrote. Pouch out.

The Patricia. This half and half sando with Caesar salad makes a nice light snack. Who am I kidding, this is a hefty portion. Like the Noni, all their sandwiches are well made and verra tasty.

No. 246.

Margherita. I went late one friday night for some cocktails because a pal bar tends there... The plus of the night was the $6 AYCE 'Za. Of course, I had all three options available... Naturally. Ok, so this is not the best pizza in town nor the prettiest but for $6, who the fuck can complain? Suck some cocktails down and soak it up with some high gluten dough. Boom.

Salumni. This was totally acceptable, it had meats on it. I lurv man meats in my man hole.

Mushroom. Ok, I asked for extra crispy on this one because the other two were a little under. The crust made this weird shape like it was some off-road mudding tire. Nice fresh shiitake shrooms on top but they over doused it with the EVOO on top. A little too wet for my taste but still edible. Squirt.

Noodle.

Sampler. Steamed pork dumplings, curry beef spring rolls, veggie spring rolls, and shrimp basil rolls. Ok, you're asking yourselves, why the fuck is the pouch even attempting to consume here. I mean, this is the whitest Asian fusion joint in the entire city, ok, maybe Tin Drum could be worse. But I must admit, this sampler bento box thinger was not half bad. Everything was freshly fried and crispy, the pork dumps were nicely steamed, the only gripe was the basil rolls which were ice cold in the middle.

Pho Nam.(thin beef, meatballs, and brisket). Yes, I fucking did it. I ordered a PHO in midtown! How blasphemous and profane! The broth sucked, the noodles mushy, the meats were decent, meatballs didn't have that toothiness like the real ones that are whipped violently when they are made to get that density. These were too soft. But overall, it's just a low rent beef noodle soup, not Pho. It's edible, though.

Thai Peanut Noodle w/ Shrimp. Rice noodles, onions, carrots, scallions, cilantro, sprouts, peanuts. Gummy noodles make it hard to mix and incorporate all the ingredients evenly. Add some of that beef broth from the Pho and boom, now it mixes easier. Everything is pretty cheap up in here, so it's not really a big loss if the food you got was subpar. Now, I know why I avoided this place for years.

Pouch full... Time to snuggle with my Wampa.