What's in the Pouch

The Pouch has been on a diet lately... The pounds just don't put themselves on. There's a lot of sacrifice that one makes to be a sexual dynamo, chicks have to read books on the outside just to keep up. Luckily, he has determination, stamina and a pouch of epic proportion. So, what the fuck has the pouch been shoveling down that makes him so sexy like Beetlejuice? 

Ben's Brown Bag.
Two fried cheekan joints opened and closed within months and now comes a sando shack with a limited menu that I can count all the items on there with my three-toed sloth paws. I just don't know how long they will last with this concept. But whatevs..

Hot Chix. Ranch and Sriracha mayo makes this a really filthy fucking disgusting mess to eat. Those two sauces basically neutralizes itself out, why even bother except to piss off the person gobbling this jizz. Just give me the bottle of Sriracha instead. The fried chix patty was actually very crispy, juicy and tasty... It's just the shit all over it that murdered it. 

Sloppy Wizzy Chips. Gratis via Scoutyelp... But sometimes things in life that are free are for a reason. It is just an oily greasy diarrhea of a mess at the bottom of this flappy crusty meatvag. I guess this is Ben's version of nachos... Or he has a serious case of the shits.


Roy's Cheesesteaks.
Look, if you don't use an Amoroso roll for your Philthy... You ain't a Philthy. This is the only place I know that uses Amoroso rolls and their shit is boss. I never eat anything else except the cheesesteak here usually but today was a day that I didn't eat breakfast, so I had to make up for that and got another sumtin' sumtin'.

Classic Philthy. Amoroso, chopped ribeye, onions and American white (provolone is acceptable, also). Looks like a wrinkled up 80 year old woman's used up gash... But I ate the shit outta her, anyways. Brown scraps and shit was dripping all down my chin and elbows... All totally worth it. Inhaled that bitch... That's what she said.

Italian Hoagie. Damn fine Eye-talian hoag... Shit was stuffed to the gills (wtf does that mean anyways? why do I just say shit that doesn't even make sense?). Anyways, it was a good hoagie, coulda used less dressing, shit was squirting everywhere... Maybe it was douche for that 80 year old hatchet wound.


Argosy.
I ate a bunch of shit here but I'm just showing y'all one of the items. I like this place, it's for preppy hipsters with some taste... Or maybe it's just a cleft palate.

Chicken Lollipops. Look how fancy they're presented. Properly frenched wangz and pretty tasty. Nice bleu cheesey consistency. I liked these a lot... Now, only if they would put a hamburger patty somewhere in between there.


Popeyes.
I can't believe I'm not jerking off all over about their regular bone-in cheekan in this post... 

Dip'n Chick'n. I don't eat a lot of boneless cheekan from Popeyes but these were pretty damn good. If I was drunk and had a small furry lapdog in between my legs while eating this, it would be even better.


Cafe Paris.
If you put the word "Paris" anywhere in your name, you better nut up or shut up. I think they need to learn Portuguese because nothing here was Fronch.

Chicken Salad Sandwich and Lemon Artichoke Soup. Chicken salad itself was ok but look at the bread... Looks like some kid in the back sat on the loaf of bread and why is it cut like that? Talk about being fucking cheap... What did he do with the other 1/3 of the bread? I don't see a fucking aquarium anywhere... Maybe he was feeding the ducks in the bathroom. Squirt.

Croque Monsieur with Potato Salad. WTF is this creasture? Looks like Corky from Life Goes On made this. This is nothing more than a couple slices of ham and some white funky single serve slice of cheese barely melted on sliced white bread. These frogs shoulda call this a "Croak Monsieur"... Fake ass National Sandwich of France. Potato salad was watery and tasteless. Nothing Fronch about this sad display.


Pan American Bakery.
They have one item on the menu and this is it... A friggin' dumb sandwich, you asked? Oh, it's time for me to school you, puta.

Cubano. The price for perfection was $4.50... Now, it's $5. The bread is perfect, the filler inside is perfect, the price is perfect. This is the best Cuban sando in ATL, period.


Quoc Huong.
First, Pan American Bakery raised their prices on the Cubans 50 cents to $5 whole dollars and now this... QH's banh mi's are now $3. It's like a 20% increase! Same shit with Lee's banh mi's, too. I knew it, they're all in cahoots on the price fixing. Bitches.

Still, even at $3... This sandwich still kicks ass. Still the best in town. Don't fall for any resto that have banh mi's on their menu. Anyone who pays over $5 for a clone is a chump.


Miso Izakaya.
Yeah yeah... Everyone knows I dig this joint but I had to say this poached egg on crispy rice cake is such a simple but yet super comforting little dish. Me rikey... You will, too. When it's available.

Egg on Rice. Eat it. Have orgasm. The end.


P'Cheen.
I liked their food in the past but it wasn't without it's hits and misses... But they recently revamped the space and menu. Time to take a peek.

Baked Jumbo Lump Crab Mac and Cheese. Ooey gooey goodness. This is not healthy for you but fuck it, it tastes good and that's healthy enough for me. Who the fuck wants to live forever...

Pork Belly Nigiri. It's a cute a dish and it's made up of pork belly. The rice coulda been formed a little tighter, I'm guessing making sooshee rice is not their expertise. But overall, a good effort... If you want the real deal hit up UMI for their kobe nigiri.

Fried Frog Legs (buffalo style). This was an interesting item to put on their menu. Don't see too many hipsters in this area craving for adventurous eating. I always get the sauce on the side for wings because the hot sauce could be crappy and it makes the wings soggy... I used the same principle here. The legs were crispy and tasty, but on the small side, the hot sauce needs some work, was kinda greasy.


Gekko.
Been around for a bit, in the old Repast space... Decent for better than below average slops around town.

For a quick sooshee fix, this joint fits the bill... If you don't expect too much. The sweet shrimp is always a favorite.


Sushi Itto.
Similar to Gekko quality. I like to hit this place up for a quick snack before going across the street for some SPAM musubi.

Sushi Combo thinger. Comes with salad and miso soup. Their ginger carrot dressing is house made and pretty damn good. Unlike all the other places that are from a bottle. I like this dish because it's got nigiri sooshee and a friggin' spider roll. I can't say no to that fried softshell crab... Yes, I'm white trash with a hint of yellow tint. 

Veggie Tempura. Fresh veggies and real tempura batter (not from a bag or box). Great pouch filler for a great price (it's like 4 pesos or some currency that's ridiculously cheap like that, mebbe a Baht).


Yum Bunz.
Well, we all knew I would get to this one day... Or their first day. It's a cute gimmick for intown peeps who wants something quick, decent and cost effective. It's not really my thing, though. I'll stick with the better Bufo Hwy joints.

Bunz, Dumpz, Cuke Salad and Chix Nood Bowl. The frozen bunz were nice and uniform after steaming, the filling were puree/baby food consistency (Robocop would eat this shit up!), hard to tell what's what inside... But they're supposedly better now with more texture and chunks inside...And with more molecules! Dumpz were pretty decent. Cucumber salad was standard issue. The noodle bowl was ok, GTech students would love this, though. I had another rice bowl not pictured but it had rice and other stuff in it. It was memorable, obviously.

Chicken Coconut Soup. Chunks of chix and shrooms. Not too shabby for what it was.


Honey Bubble.
Didn't expect much from an intown bubble tea spot. It's not the best but they fill a niche nicely. Hipsters fucking lurv this place. I do like the place, so I'm neutral but when I want a bubble tea, Quickly is still my bitch... Them cheekan nuggets! PS- Sweet Hut is coming to midtown soon... Will there be enough Asians to sustain that intown location? Guess, we will find out soon enough... Oh, dear. The Chino resto next door to HB is fucking hating this place. Suckaz!

Egg Cream and Chinese Milk Tea. The Egg Cream was middling, not much personality to it. Let's say it doesn't do NYC any justice... No sleep til Brooklyn! The milk tea was ok and the tapioca balls were cooked spot on.


Quickly.
Speaking of bubble teas and cheekan nuggets...

Chicken Nuggets. These things are sent from Buddha. Spicy, crispy, juicy, crunchy, they are super addictive, more than two 8-balls of blow. The owner loves me so he jammed a shitload of nugs in there since he knows how much I lurv fwied cheekan. The milk tea is great as usual.

Chicken Wings. 4 wingy for $3. Not the best deal but shit, these were good, crispy and juicy.


Ok, this fat fuck is about to take a run... Down to Popeyes for a 10 piece box. That's how I roll... Literally, I roll on my belly to get out of the bed, car, couch, tub, toilet, closet, basically anything I sit or lay on.

Stay tuned for more shit that goes into the pouch... Unless, you got something else better to do. Probably.