Church's Chicken

Yeah, I fucking cheated. So, what. It was a cheap date so it really doesn't count. I saw some hobo holding a sign out on Buford Highway jumping up and down like a chode, so I turned in to see what all the fuss was about. It was a eight piece special for like $5... Fuck it, let's see how good it taste these days since I haven't had Church's in months, mebbe even years.

The crust/batter in the past were pretty crispy but you usually get a money shot to the eye right after you take the first bite. The hot grease that's sealed inside jizzes you all over your face. I mean, not even a fucking warning! You ladies out there know what I'm talking about. That shit doesn't tickle either since it's piping hot. But I never cared because I was either drunk as fuck or high as a motherfucker... I kinda miss the Church's on Ponce and Boulevard across from Popeyes. It was like cheekan heaven for the cheekanheads that pecked around the hood.

Ok, sooo... How is their chicken now? It was decent and I use that term loosely like the stank that hangs around there. The crust was still crispy but after it cools down it gets kinda soggy. Popeyes doesn't do that. The grease factor inside has come down as well. You still get some grease running down your hand but nothing that a quick tongue lashing can't take care of. The flesh itself was kinda tasteless and flavorless. I had to dump an elephant jizz load of hot sauce on it to give it some taste. I don't know where they source their poultry but Popeye's somehow has a lot more flavor in their chicken. Church's has historically always been cheaper than Pops, so mebbe there's the answer to that question. Could be chicken from Camaroon. Who knows.

So, where would I put present day Church's on my fwied cheekan scale? Definitely, towards the bottom half... Mebbe on par with KFC. There are better chicken chains out there like Bojangles', Roy Rogers, Pollo Campero, Kennedy Fried Chicken, Mrs. Winner's... Even Publix! (Chickfila, Zaxby's, et al don't count as real fried chicken). But no one can beat the king, Popeyes... There can be only one!

1 Star.

4995 Buford Highway
Chamblee, GA 30341
770-454-9404
http://www.churchs.com/index.html