Sappori di Napoli- Revisit

How can someone who is fat as a sow get around so much? One word: Rascal. OK, four words... Rascal Heavy Duty Scooter. Yes, I get around in an electric scooter because the Pouch believes in climate change... Shit, the amount of methane gas I release is definitely changing the climate within 1,000 feet of my orbit. I could be in the Arctic in February and it would be 80 degrees because this fat fuck is the main cause of global warming. I'm not allowed back because glaciers are mysteriously melting at a significantly high rate. Speaking of globes... I lurv me some fried rice balls. It's time to feed again and release more gases. 

Let's go see how Sappori is doing these days... Are they still up to snuff? I know my one enquiring reader wants to know...

Arancini, classic Neapolitan fried rice balls mixed with ground beef, carrots, and peas, side of tomato sauce. Yep, they are still pretty pretty guud. First, Marco Polo stole noodles from ancient China to Italy and called it pasta... And now this, Eyetalian fried rice. When they start serving fried whole wings with these fried rice balls, there will be words! Unless they bribe me with 'ZA...

Salsiccia e Funghi, bufala mozzarella, Italian sausage, baby bella mushrooms. Easily one of the best 'ZA combos ever... Meaty and earthy. And healthy because of the salad on top. Look at that crust and the char blisters, still amazing. You know it's good when you eat the crust, too.

Margherita, bufala mozzarella, fresh basil. The must order classic 'ZA every single time. I can eat this whole pie in one sitting and not feel fat afterwards... Well, that's because you have four stomachs, Pouch. That boy is a P-I-G, pig! Anyone with eyeballs can see that, duh.

Eggplant Parmigiana, layers of bufala mozzarella, eggplant, basil, fresh tomato sauce, parmigiano reggiano cheese, mixed greens and home made bread... Wait, no bread was delivered. Probably better for this fat fuck. This is the first time ever getting this because I wanted to feel healthy... Yeah, sure, Pouch, after 2 pies and 4 balls... But there's more salad than moulinyan, so, it is healthy. It's a nicely plated dish. The layering was expertly constructed. I just wished they had ground beef mixed in there for more texture, then it would be on another level. Don't hate, just ate.

Tiramisu. "Best in town!" is the claim... Hmmm, it is purdy guud. Best in town is a bit of a stretch but totally acceptable. Two bites and I was done. 

Cannoli, chocolate and crushed pistachio. I think these are better than the Tiramisu. They have a very good version, the shell and cream are both equally important. This version reminds me of Veniero's in EVIL NYC which is always consistent. Leave the gun, take the cannoli... Wait, take both.

Sappori is still on my top 5 list of true napoletana 'ZA in this one horse town... And no, Antico is NOT on the list. So, Sappori... Don't die on me yet!

Pump pump... Squirt.

314 Church St

Decatur, GA 30030

https://saporidinapolipizzeria.com/

Kamayan ATL- Revisit

The corpulent one AKA the Pouch has been eating fast and furious... While being stationary at the same time which sounds like an oxymoron. But mostly just a moron. My snout is eating faster than my Vienna sausage fingaz can write up reviews. So, I was checking out the new triple threat in the old abandoned haunted Ranch 99 space called Kanpai, Lao Sze Chuan, Te'Amo which is an all-in-one space for AYCE BBQ & Shabu Shabu, Szechuan and Boba & Dessert. They did a great job inside, it's pretty dang fancy with a giant bar... But sadly, they weren't serving any booze... So, it was a hard no for me to stay which was probably a blessing in disguise since no new kitchen or staff is at full speed right on opening week. If they had booze that would be another story, it would help drown out the shitty food. Since, I'm the size of a walrus and don't like to move much, I was not gonna get back in my truck without a full pouch and more stretch marks. So, I had to make an executive decision with the limited choices in this strip mall... That were edible. There's Quoc Huong, Ming's or La Mei Zi... And Kamayan. Done and done, son... Quick lunch at the only acceptable Flip joint in this one horse town. I had good visits in the past, let's go see if they are still keeping up with the dela Cruzes.

Canton & Bihon Pansit Mix, sauteed rice and wheat noodle mixed with chicken, Chinese sausage, tofu pork belly and mixed veggies. Every time I seen "Pancit or Pansit", I think of all the different instant pancit noodles available at the Asian markets. They are quick, cheap and satisfying if you are piss drunk or high as a mofo but this giant bowl of pansit is the real deal. It is super tasty with all the different ingredients, flavors and textures. You could just order this and be totally satisfied and full but c'mon, Pouch, who are you kidding? OK, I will order more food porn for my one reader...

Camaron De Zamboanga, prawns cooked with crab fat and coconut milk. 4 giant shell-on prawns ladled with a crap load of crab fat coconut milk sauce which the sauce was so good I licked the plate and the banana leaf. This dish is sexy AF but if you're on a date it's a very messy dish to eat, so, bring a fat chick... Because I would totally put on a slutty dress and make up for this dish... Does a Muumuu count? 

Lechon Kawali, cubed deep fried pork belly with Mang Thomas sauce... Only thing missing was the eye dropper of vinegar. Still a must order dish.. If you're obeast like the Pouch put in two orders. It's a perfect balance of fat and pork meat... Unlike Estrellita with 90% fat, 5% soggy skin, 4% meat and 1% flies. Don't even waste your time going to Estrellita in the ghetto, just come straight here because fatsos like me don't like to travel long distances and it's difficult to get into cars.

Wok Fried Green Beans. Another must order dish and literally every table in the joint had an order or two on it. They got chintzy on the fried shallot and garlic on top and the price went up (used to be $5) but still worth it.

Pork Lumpia. Yeah yeah... Everyone and their Lolas know what this is, Pouch. Why do roundeyes love spring rolls so much? And of course, by the time I got to them, the Pouch draws the short lump of the bunch... Crunch. 

This quick lunch turned out to be a $90 lunch, ouch! They raised their prices like every other joint using the same old COVID excuses. The last time I was here, I told them to keep up the good work because everything was really good and priced right except the Chicken Adobo but the next table over ordered it and it looked 100 times better than the watery soup with a boiled chicken leg I got previously. I may have to try it again on the next visit and yes, there will be many more future visits unless they shit the bed like Estrellita.

Pump pump... Burp.

5150 Buford Hwy NE

A230

Doraville, GA 30340

https://kamayanatl.com/

Xin's Chinese Cuisine

A long time ago in a strip mall far, far away....

 

Episode LXIX. 

A New Pouch. 

It is a period of IBS war. 

Marsupial Pouch, striking 

from a hidden table, have won 

their first victory against

the evil Gwailo Empire.

Tis was the year 2006, the "Ma La" Sichuan movement in Atlanta was born out of a little known Chino joint in Marietta. The infamous and elusive Peter Chang was the opening chef at Tasty China. It became a hit almost overnight for fatsos who craved the "hot and numbing" dishes that were unavailable in this one horse town. The dry fried eggplant had become an iconic dish that mediocre Chino joints across GA and the country have been trying to replicate and duplicate with mixed success. Then all of the sudden Peter did his Houdini act quietly and the chefs that worked closely with him had to take the reigns and some went on to new and bigger things... Like Liu Ri (Rui Liu) who opened Masterpiece back in 2014 in a dumpy small strip mall next to a QT in Duluth. It was pretty good in the beginning but over time, the gwailo flashmobs diluted the quality and authentic taste (like at Lan Zhou Ramen) and I haven't been back since. Surprisingly, there was another Chinese resto a few doors down called Taipei Restaurant that no one knew or cared about, served mostly roundeye Chino slop (zero interest)... That was until Xin Zhao took over from the previous owner (around 2011) and decided to serve Sichuan cuisine, most likely inspired by the Peter Chang's days of yore. Since, I had no interest of ever coming back to this strip mall in upstate GA, I was reluctantly convinced otherwise by a friend who swore that Xin's was no joke, especially, with the spicy dry pot dishes. After the mediocre visit at Good Harvest, I had to prove someone wrong, either, my friend or this fat fuck. 

Let's go see what all the fuss is about...   

Spicy Dry Fried Eggplant. Not too shabby looking at first glance. Big pieces with a light crispy wet batter. These were pretty good but they weren't spicy enough, just look at the plate, no pepper seasoning, no Sichuan peppercorns, no red peppers... Would I order them again? The real question is- would I drive all the way up here for them again... Only if someone else is driving and paying. 

Tomato and Egg Noodle Soup. It says and looks like a soup but it's not a soup. It's just a soupy sauce. Tomato and egg is a very common everyday dish for Asian families, it's quick, easy and cheap to make and can feed a family of 8. This was a pretty good version. Lots of noodles beneath all that stuff on top. Mix it up really well and every bite will take you back to your childhood. You will get sloppy slurping this down your facehole.

Fish Fillet Spicy Pot. They didn't have my favorite dish, boiled fish in hot oil, so I resorted to getting the next closest thing... It looked like a hefty portion until you examined it closer. It's a good bit of filler like sliced potato and wood ears. The crispy fish fillets were pretty good, it was well seasoned but not spicy enough. It's a tasty dish but was it worth the drive? Y'all will have to decide for yourself.

Frogs Spicy Pot. So, Good Harvest's frog dry pot was a chopped up mess to eat... Xin's keep them Kermie legs whole and they were seasoned well but once again, not spicy enough. Same fillers. If you closed your eyeballs and ate the leg, it will would taste just like chicken... Mmm, did someone say Popeyes cheekan? If they came out with a big plate of Popeyes with Sichuan ma la seasonings... Fuck me. That would be some dream!

Pork Belly Stew with Bean Curd. Dish sounded great on paper but this wouldn't be visually appetizing to gringos expecting pork belly from PF Chang's. Stir it up because things get settled to the bottom. There's a good amount of pork belly but the real star of this dish was the bean curd knots. They absorbed the umami flavor of the stew and the bean curd sheets have that fruit rollup toothy mouth feel. I was going to untied those knots and filled it with the pork belly to make a little meat purse but people would think I'm some FOB from Temu that just snuck in through Eagle Pass.

Mushroom with Baby Bok Choy. If it wasn't for that one little handicapped shroom at the top this would have been picture perfect. Nah, it was perfect anyways. They actually took the time to plate each bok choy for the presentation. The light savory sauce was a great match for this dish and it glazed the shrooms perfectly. I make this dish at home a lot but I ain't wasting time plating when I can be eating it.

I would go back to try some other authentic Chino dishes but be warned the other half of their menu is heavily Americanized Chinese grub. They have to have it to stay in business because there is no fucking way in hell they will survive serving only to ex-pats from the more authentic side of the menu. Don't believe me? Go on Yelp and look at the pictures, it's full of the Americanized Chino menu items.

3940 Buford Hwy NE A103

Duluth, GA 30096

Sushi Kingdom vs. Sushi Village vs. Kizuna AYCE

Where the fuck have you been, Pouch? COVID is over, so morbidly obeast slobs are no longer in danger anymore. The only risk factor for fat fucks like me is over-eating... And I have been eating non-stop that I don't have time to write up more reviews in a timely manner... Like anyone really reads this deplorable food blog. It takes a lot of energy to press buttons, so, this chubby chaser needs more food. I'm so backed up on reviews... Just like my colon. But this is my one reader's lucky day... I'm constipated, so, what better way to pass the time while I sit on the white stool waiting to pass some brown stool then to write up a review! As Fat Albert would say, Hey hey hey, bombs away!

AYCE sushi buffets are like slutty Chino buffets... Some times you just crave an unlimited amount of unseasoned slop. Usually, after a night of heavy drinking. Everyone and their mamas have been to Nori Nori in Sandy Springs which I still visit every once in a while but I have to fast the day before and you must wear stretchy pants. Pouch, did you say "fast"? Yes, I did and this slow ass corpulent slug don't fast for nobody. So, it has to be a special occasion... Shit, my social life is pretty pathetic, so any occasion that involves food is always special. Unlike skinny people, food will never make fun of fat people... That's why food is my BFF (Best Fat Friend).

Nori Nori is the OG of AYCE sushi but let's take a look at a Trifecta of new AYCE sushi joints that have popped up recently. These buffets are not self serve like Nori Nori, they are kinda like semi-full service restaurants where a server takes your order on a tablet and the food is delivered out. OK, enough with the moist mouth breathing, Pouch, we want to see the goods... That's what she said.

SUSHI KINGDOM- DUNWOODY. 

It was $18.99 for lunch... Now, it's $20.99. The good old bait and switch after the grand opening week. The dinner is $39.99 but who knows if they have jacked that shit up even more as we speak.

Lunch menu.

2 hours ONLY limit... You go home now fat boy, you eat evey ting! We have no mo food!

Best of Best Roll... Is that Engrish? I read it so fast I thought it said Breast of Beast Rolls.

Sushi Bar action... The sushi chefs were in the weeds the entire time I was there. It's just too much volume for them to handle. Everything was made to order.

Bubble teas... In the grab and go fridge. Both tasted powdery.

Miso soup, Seaweed salad, Kani salad. Hard to screw these up.

Ribs & Corn Stew Pot... I know what y'all are thinking... Is that dirty sink water? Almost, but you can just barely make out the small slice of corn on the cob in the murky pond water.

Nigiri. They were all acceptable. Nothing special, just good enough for mass consumption.

Rainbow Roll and Crispy Crab Roll... I asked the server if the crispy crab roll was the same thing as a Spider Roll, he said, yes but this inedible shit came out instead... It was fake crab meat (surimi) battered and deep fried then rolled in rice. It was so bad, I almost threw it under the table in the corner to avoid the surcharge for unfinished slop. But I told the server it was disgusting and he took it away, no extra charge. 

Stick with the nigiri, at least you know what to expect.

Angus NY Stripe and Shrimp Hibachi. I'm glad they give small portions just to try out. 3 skrimps and 4 or 5 small cubes of grisly meat. They should have misspelled it to Anus, instead. If you stare at the meat long enough, it kinda resemble a balloon knot. Come to think of it, it tasted more like zebra... The stripe meat cuts.

Shrimp and Steak Noodle... It's basically lo mein that you find at any slutty chino hall in the wall. Eat the shrimp, leave the meat and noods.

Since, they have jacked up the prices, I will probably not make another visit. The quality was acceptable, but not good enough to pay more and deal with the crowds.

4788 Ashford Dunwoody Rd

Dunwoody, GA 30338

https://sushikingdomdunwoody.kwickmenu.com/

SUSHI VILLAGE- LAWRENCEVILLE.

Their AYCE lunch price is still $17.99 (M-F)... BUT sashimi and nigiri is not offered during lunch anymore or only at this location (original Cobb location may still offer it). BUT they say you can pay the Dinner price of $26.99 if you're really craving sashimi or nigiri minus all the other dinner items. I know I'm a fat fuck with unlimited Pouch space but shit, I don't have unlimited funds, especially, for lunch. Yeah, no thanks, bro...  I just want a quick lunch. Let's take a look at their newer and cleaner Lawrenceville location...

Kitchen Menu.

Lunch Sushi Menu.

Shrimp Tempura, Seaweed Salad, Miso Soup, Tempura Udon Shrimp.

Takoyaki. These were actually pretty tasty, most likely frozen from a brown bag. I like how the apps are only a couple pieces, good way to taste a bunch of stuff without wasting it if it sucked ass.

Sweet Potato Tempura, Chicken Katsu. Sweet tater is exactly what it tasted like. The cheekan katsu was surprisingly crispy and tender. I wanted to put in another order but I forgot my zip-lock back... Oh, snap, did I say that out loud?

Salmon Avocado Maki Roll. Looked a little sloppy but it tasted pretty good.

Rainbow Roll. The color was vibrant and tasted good.

Dragon Roll and Dancing Eel Roll. I was craving eel big time but halfway through I was over it. All the rolls were full sized rolls, so, they will fill you up fast. I suggest you take your time and eat slowly and massage your pannus to move the food around to make more space.

I like this place, the price is good but it's a hike from ITP. I would try the dinner menu if I was up this way.

1030 Old Peachtree Rd NW

Suite 106

Lawrenceville, GA 30043

sushivillagelawrenceville.com

KIZUNA SUSHI ALL YOU CAN EAT.

This is probably the newest sushi buffet in Metro-Atlanta. Shit, I wouldn't call Norcross metro, but whatever. Just don't step on the inbred locals passed out on the sidewalks in this strip mall. They got a lot of hype and crowds in the beginning but the honeymoon is pretty much over. The price is $28.99 for the dinner menu. I can't make it to upstate GA for lunch during the weekdays but I think the lunch menu is $18.99. They try to make the inside look like a full service restaurant... And it kinda is. They don't use tablets, you mark off what you want on the menu and a staff member puts it in the system. If you want more food, you have to reuse the same menu... Erase and check off new items.

I always thought I knew how all you can eat works but go ahead and explain it to the Pouch.

Yellowtail Jalapeno. It still amazes me that this infamous Nobu dish has been copied by every sushi joint in the country... Even at sushi buffets. I like how they try to plate a nice presentation at a buffet.

Tori Karaage. These fried cheekan bits were pretty good.

Seaweed Salad. Fancy presentation with thick toothpick base. OK, it's not wood, but something edible.

Age Tofu. Light crust outside and soft tofu inside. Decent.

Beef Skewer. Somewhat tender but passable.

Lamb Chops (Limit 1 per order). I tried to sneak in another round but got shot down. These were pretty good. I was pleasantly surprised it was cooked to correct temp, mid rare+. They were juicy and tasty. I could destroy 10 of these easily.

Calamari. Frozen brown bag varietal.

Chicken Wings. I gotta admit these were damn tasty. Thin crispy crust, juicy ass meat inside. I had to order another round.

Spicy Tuna and Alaska Hand Rolls (salmon, cucumber, avocado). That tuna was not what I expected and it tasted unexpected. Skip this one. The Alaska was much better and natural.

Shrimp Tempura and Eel Hand Rolls. The taco holders are so useful. Both hand rolls were totally passable.

Salmon Lover. That thin slice of salmon doesn't make me love this but I ate it anyways.

Nigiri assortment. The sweet shrimp looked and tasted good but they limit you to 1 per person. I get it with the lamb chops but sweet shrimp too? Stop being so fucking CHINTZY! I love giving, err, eating head, give me more heads and I even swallow... Every last drop of it. Eww, you sicko!

Dragon Roll, Rainbow Roll, Spider Roll. They actually looked great and it tasted totally fine. Good stuff and they do stuff you with all that rice expansion in your gullet.

More Nigiri, pretty decent quality.

Mussels. I don't know why I always order mussels but they tasted exactly how it should.

Yellowtail Jalapeno. I had to get it again... I had to circle back like Jen Psaki. Finished off this visit with a full circle.

I would like to try the weekday lunch menu one day but that means I would have to take off work and fight traffic to go upstate... Just thinking about it makes me go naaaah. 

5450 Peachtree Pkwy

Norcross, GA 30092

https://www.kizunasushiallyoucaneat.com/

 

These 3 visits were completed almost back to back. I'm like 3 times my normal size... Bloated, retaining water and smell like old fish... Close your fucking legs then, Pouch! Nobody wants to smell that sweaty catfish smegma. Time to hibernate again. But the Pouch promises my one fan that there will be a ridiculously incredible review coming soon that will not be fowl. Guaranteed.

Pump Pump Burp.