You guessed it, you fat donkey! The fucking donkey king himself, Gordon Ramsay!
If you're insulted by the crass language, you, too, can piss off, you wanker! Or you can feast your eyeballs on this medley of crap on a plate...
But before we go any further, let me say this restaurant is trying... It's quaint, cozy and has a nice neighborhood feel, even though the past restos in this same location failed miserably. But besides that, don't let me deter you away from making a visit, everyone's taste are different... I mean a pig eats in it's own feces, but that's a different kind of animal all together.
Let's take a gander at what the trough had to offer (even though everything basically came out all at once, imagine 4 large plates on a tiny table made for a 1 top)...
(Grilled Caesar Salad)Why you trying to be fancy pants with this ruffage? A picture says a thousand + 2 words and they are... Dirty and Sanchez. Look at that dressing... It musta been made with brown anchovies from the seas of cheese, fromunda is my guess. This poor poor Romaine had a bad life already living in the dirt, you don't have to burn him to a crisp, do you? It was bitter tasting, wouldn't you be after all that? Crouton were stale and meteorite hard. You gotta wonder who was tossing their salad back there. Judging by the presentation, he had a real good western grip on this dish.
(Jumbo Lump Corn Crab Cakes)Why do people put hot food on a spring mix? It's wilts them and turns them brown, never understood that rationale. Gives a whole new meaning to hot lunch. But the crab cakes were cold and soggy by the time it came out, the salad underneath was greasy from sitting around too long. Do I eat these things or rest them on my eye sockets like a pair of Arabian goggles? The crab cake fell apart with just a quick blow and stroke and separated in all different directions like the Bismarck going down. What's in that little pour cup you ask? Well, tis was a cilantro aioli... An aioli that was as gooey as the bloody battle on that ship. Looks like the Rear Admiral needs some extra zinc supplement. Squirt.
(Roasted PEI Mussels)It looked good when it came out but after you take a good whiff of this spicy coconut lemongrass broth (quick, someone get me an Iraqi gas mask)... You'll want to excuse yourself from the table and give yourself a fishhook in the latrine. The mussels were tiny, I mean pearl tongue tiny, you might as well string them up and wear it like a pearl necklace. Why is there pico de gallo on the bread... What do you do with this? Mix it in with the watery broth and stir it with the bwead to thicken? I'm confused... Like the service. She was winking at me in the corner with this eerie fish eye like from under a glass bottom boat.
(Honey Marinated Flank Steak)Prolly the best dish of the night, if you fuck up a friggin flank steak, you really should be mopping the floors instead. But the word "best" is far from it... The meat curtain was presented on the plate like a gorgeous pink sock but it was a little too sinewy for my palate. The garlic mashed potatoes were dry and gummy. The Cascabel fried onions were a fraud since there is no such thing as a Cascabel onion but they were crunchy, though. The "chimmi churrie" sauce... Well, let's not go there, Rancid is not just a band. Chef’s daily vegetable of asparagus were spot on, well done... Now, piss off.
This place can be so much more, given the area it's located and it's ambiance... It's a cool little spot. Give the sheep what they want (which is a good, clean, simple, and bold menu) and they will flock to you. Gordon, dude, light a fire under their ass and get them to do it right for fuck's sake.
The reservation email is inmanparkrest@gmail.com for the taping if you wanna experience the full wrath of a donkey punch from the master chef himself.
Hee Haw.
1 Star. (Pending donkey punch)
913 Bernina Avenue NE
Atlanta, GA 30307
404.584.7275
http://www.parksedgeatl.com/
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