OMG Taco

Once again, the masses of Atlanta never fails to prove they have no taste whatsoever... It's almost embarrassing that they're writing 5 star reviews containing words such as the "most unique foods", "AWESOME!" or comparing this food better than "Cheetos". Where the fuck am I? It is embarrassing. Someone open a giant door because a window ain't enough... The lack of oxygen must be killing off their brain cells and taste buds. Mebbe, that's why they obscenely abuse the use of acronyms here. I'm getting a headache already and I haven't even taken a bite of this Korean bearded clam. FML.

Sweet Lime was abysmal... I still can't get that smell and taste of ammonia in their rancid sushi out of my head from years ago. It would be no big feat for anyone to replace this dump with anything remotely edible... Wait a minute, I might have prematurely put my mouth in front of my foot. So, now comes a new Korean Taco joint from a San Diego Taco Truck operator. Mebbe, I should just put my foot in my mouth instead.

Anyhoo, I met up with some friends here because they wanted to try it out since they never leave L5P. Hey, I'm always game for gaudy gimmicky shit. The service seemed like they came off the back of a truck near the border. They don't know the menu, the name of the items, the pricing nor what toppings came with each item. It was an absolute circus freakshow... No shortage of that in this part of town. But can it be any worse than that slop at Hankook? Wait, don't answer that, just take a gander at this shit...

(Short Rib Tacos - OMG's Special Soy Sauce marinated short rib)

First look, the tortillas were actually corn. Nice, you get a point there. Then there's the filling... The short rib was tough, chewy and diced in small cubes... No, it wasn't liver, it was supposedly short rib. If this meat was marinated in that special sauce, that special sauce musta been water because it had no taste whatsoever and that snoozer of a slaw acted as a cover like that burlap sack over the elephant man's deformed noggin. Don't forget about the mixed shredded cheese, nope, they sure didn't. Thank goodness, bottles of Cholula was at the ready. It was the only way to work that down your gullet and out your bunghole.

(Fish Tacos - Special San Diego Style Beer battered fish served with OMG Tartar Sauce)

Holy shit, look at this spectacle will you? I swear I have seen this scene before in a Peter North video. That stud has enough jizz to drown 3 girls at will... And it looks like so does OMG. This fish taco never had a chance in this circle jerk. The tartar sauce was so overwhelming that you might as well pour some Pepto over this snatch patch and called it a Pink Taco just to eat this out. The fried fish hidden in the masa vulva could be considered an UFO... Unidentified Frying Object. I think they drank all the beer before they added it to the batter. Hite. Oh, look, more bad shredded bag cheese... On, fried fish no less.

(Spicy Pork Tacos - Pork meat seasoned with Sweet Korean Chili Paste & garlic)

Baffling, no hint of any type of spice in this sawdust of prok mince meat. If this was spicy than I'm a pimple on a monkey's butt. That slaw is really giving me the creeps right about now... Shit is on everything like a roach crawling all over my provisions in my pantry. Pass the Cholula, esé... Cuz this thing is putting my dancing feet to sleep. Make it a hat trick and pile on some more of that great queso. Con queso? Si, con mucho queso, por fav.

(OMFG Super Fries w/ a bunch of crap and caramelized Kimchee)

Look at this exhibit of funk. It looks like it came out of a kindergarten class. Crap upon crap upon crap. The "any choice of meat" listed on the menu turned out to be $1 extra... Talk about bait and switch. When asked about why it's extra, their answer was "the menu is wrong, we have to change that". Excuse me, isn't menu development the #1 thing you should consider before you open for business? This is so fucking amateur and annoys the fuck outta me. The fries sucked, the crappy bag of mixed Mexican't cheese was barely melted and clumped together like hamster vomit in the corner, the slaw was barely dressed, seasoned and totally bland as tree bark. The caramelized kimchee was no where to be found like the flavor. Thank gawd we didn't give them the extra dollar for more dried out pork dandruff.

(OMG Naked Bowl aka Bi Bim Bap)

Mixed feelings... Like this crap in a box going over a cliff, in my new taco truck. According to the menu, this was supposed to come with meat... But to be consistently moronic, let's just get properly Rogered by paying that extra $1 for a spoonful of dried jerky meat. This entire beast was under-seasoned and uninspiring. It was as exciting as a monkey picking lice of another's back... Wait, that is pretty interesting and fun to watch. Bet that lice taste better than this quagmire. What?! No cheese? I want a refund.

You may be able to pull the wool over most of the people's eyes in this one horse town since they have never had a real Korean taco before but don't be surprised if you are called out by the ones who know better. How can you compromised on the quality and give the California taco truck a bad name, it's sacrilegious. I feel so violated.

There are no words for this... It's just plain bad. This is worse than Hankook Taqueria and HT is a watered down hot mess. Even the most destitute of college kids wouldn't eat this. What am I talking about, of course they would... They would eat the shit of outta this stuff. And that's all that needs to be said.

0.5 Star... For the corn tortillas.

Flush.

1126 Euclid Ave.
Atlanta, GA 30307
(404) 343-3860
www.ohmmgogi.com