Where we going? OTP? WTF... Hold on, let me pack an overnight bag. Woke up with drool all over myself. The fuck. Musta been the altitude or time zone change up here. Not my fault. I needed CPR, stat... You know, as in CaiPiRinha. With time to kill, went across da street to a thing called Lime Taqueria. Corzo, Corzo and more Corzo... And a cheese dip. Who ordered the fucking cheese dip? It always starts out with the best intentions doesn't it? Story of my life.
Time to fill the pouch... Scurried back over to this joint. It's a nice space, there's this sculpture with a red ball pissing water out of it... I don't know what the fuck that's all about. But the servers were super friendly and one was making googly eyes with me. Enuff with the chit chat, I sees me a full bar.
Ordered my go to dwink. What's a whiskey old fashioned? It ain't those rags you're wearing, sweetheart. She comes back with something that looked like one. This shit was weaker than Tom Hanks at the end of Philadelphia. Owner (nice dood) comes by and he goes back and does a double pour just for me... Asians, we're all in the family.
Vegetarian Sampler - Combo of fried tofu, spring rolls and organic veggie tempura. Ok, whatever... I don't even know if you're suppose to eat this. Next.
Hoy Nang-Rom Sri-Raja (Fried Oyster Sri-Raja) - Tastee little fuckers with homemade "Sri-Raja" sauce. Sure, pal and I'm the Queen of Sheba. Sauce was lame.
Bheek-Gai Yad-Sai (Stuffed Wings) - "3 all natural chicken wings stuffed with mixtures of well seasoned minced chicken, bean threads, white pepper and herbs, served with sweet pepper sauce." Dude, there's more words on the menu than there are wings on the plate. They were good but at 2 clams a piece... Say, you don't have a Monday night 20 cent wing special do ya?
Som Tum (Green Papaya Salad) - Som Tum's rotten in the State of Denial... It coulda used a lot more heat but the kids at the table thought it was more than enuff. Wussies. Not bad, though. Pretty tastee as a matter of fact.
Old Fashioned Pad Thai - Guess what I paired this dish with? Yup, a vodka soda... How many drinks did I have already? Noods were decent... I think.
Jungle Curry w/ Flank Steak (made without coconut milk) - Interesting dish not seen on many Thai menus. Triple Thai Hot that lioness... I want Jungle Fever! Shit came out like a kitten with a cold. Snarf, snarf... Not bad though, kinda liked it.
Overall, it's pretty good... There's been so much smack talk about this place in the past that I totally avoided it like the Gay. But since Saxby says tattooed peeps with alcoholic tendencies may be Happier Chaps, I thought I oughta give it a shot. Food was good, no dice on the assless chaps.
3.5 Stars.
Slurp.
4500 West Village Place
Suite 1017
Smyrna, GA 30080
(770) 434-4344
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
The Iberian Pig
If I'm gonna drive all the way over to Dickhater, there better be a decent drink waiting for me. I was giddy as a school girl when I saw some classic drinks on the black board. Moscow Mule, Sidecar, Pisco Sour, Manhattan, Sazerac and my cock-du-jour-tail... Old-Fashioned. Fuck yeah.
Requested no soda and just a splash of water and watched the first barkeep make my drink hoping he would do it right. Ruh roh, cherry muddled, slice of orange w/ pulp and a chunk of ice that sank the Titanic. That shit was weaker than the skinny old woman next to me that smelled like BenGay. Then, the man, Fable, came by and chit chatted with him a bit. He asked how my drink was, I said "The shit is a bit weak." He replied, "No problem." ...And took a bottle of whiskey that was sitting right in front of me and turned that iceberg into a real drink. Good show, old boy! I knew this was gonna be a good night, a real good night.
Finally, agreed to leave the bar and go to my table.... 25 minzies later. But the drinks didn't stop coming from Fable. I was fucking in love. Menu? What menu? Oh, food menu... "Oh, just pick something... You're cramping my style, bro." I sez to the server. I got drinking to do, man. Let's get back to that whiskey... Irish whiskey? Dude, we are like Twins because that's exactly what I was thinking... I'm Arnold and you're Danny DeVito, though.
Intermission:
Jamon Iberico, Jamon Serrano, Salchichon - All these porkers were delicious... Verra tastee meat curtains if I do say so myself. A lot better quality since the last time I was there... Or mebbe I was dwunk. Shit, Ocar Mayer woulda prolly tasted good.
Tocino con Manzana - Slow braised Kurobuta pork belly... Swine was like butta. With all the hard liquor I put down, my pouch coulda turned bone and teeth into butter. But seriously, it was good but they could have given a lil more.
Salchicha 3-ways - Chorizo, lamb sausage and fennel sausage. I'll eat anything that is meat and stuffed into a tube. It was a nice assortment but my attention was really on my next drink. This was just conversation.
Seared Foie Gras French Toast - Ok, hold that drink... A kick ass piece of foie gras cooked perfectly and melted like LSD on the tip of your tongue. Shit tastes so good when it hits your lips.
My escort was interested in the Cheek Tacos but I wasn't gonna fall for that banana in the tail pipe trick again. Last time I had it, shit was breaking all apart and junk. Passed on the Churros and Eggplant fwies as well... More money to drink with! Right on.
They have come a long way since they first opened... Both in food and making a real drink. This joint is always packed because they have a great location (if you live in Dickhater) and a great concept. But the barkeeps and their drinks are the real draw for me here... And they get so excited when someone knows how and what to drink like they do. Just thinking about it makes my nips hard.
We closed that shit down.
Dude, WTF is my car?
Burp.
121 Sycamore St
Decatur, GA 30030
(404) 371-8800
Requested no soda and just a splash of water and watched the first barkeep make my drink hoping he would do it right. Ruh roh, cherry muddled, slice of orange w/ pulp and a chunk of ice that sank the Titanic. That shit was weaker than the skinny old woman next to me that smelled like BenGay. Then, the man, Fable, came by and chit chatted with him a bit. He asked how my drink was, I said "The shit is a bit weak." He replied, "No problem." ...And took a bottle of whiskey that was sitting right in front of me and turned that iceberg into a real drink. Good show, old boy! I knew this was gonna be a good night, a real good night.
Finally, agreed to leave the bar and go to my table.... 25 minzies later. But the drinks didn't stop coming from Fable. I was fucking in love. Menu? What menu? Oh, food menu... "Oh, just pick something... You're cramping my style, bro." I sez to the server. I got drinking to do, man. Let's get back to that whiskey... Irish whiskey? Dude, we are like Twins because that's exactly what I was thinking... I'm Arnold and you're Danny DeVito, though.
Intermission:
Jamon Iberico, Jamon Serrano, Salchichon - All these porkers were delicious... Verra tastee meat curtains if I do say so myself. A lot better quality since the last time I was there... Or mebbe I was dwunk. Shit, Ocar Mayer woulda prolly tasted good.
Tocino con Manzana - Slow braised Kurobuta pork belly... Swine was like butta. With all the hard liquor I put down, my pouch coulda turned bone and teeth into butter. But seriously, it was good but they could have given a lil more.
Salchicha 3-ways - Chorizo, lamb sausage and fennel sausage. I'll eat anything that is meat and stuffed into a tube. It was a nice assortment but my attention was really on my next drink. This was just conversation.
Seared Foie Gras French Toast - Ok, hold that drink... A kick ass piece of foie gras cooked perfectly and melted like LSD on the tip of your tongue. Shit tastes so good when it hits your lips.
My escort was interested in the Cheek Tacos but I wasn't gonna fall for that banana in the tail pipe trick again. Last time I had it, shit was breaking all apart and junk. Passed on the Churros and Eggplant fwies as well... More money to drink with! Right on.
They have come a long way since they first opened... Both in food and making a real drink. This joint is always packed because they have a great location (if you live in Dickhater) and a great concept. But the barkeeps and their drinks are the real draw for me here... And they get so excited when someone knows how and what to drink like they do. Just thinking about it makes my nips hard.
We closed that shit down.
Dude, WTF is my car?
Burp.
121 Sycamore St
Decatur, GA 30030
(404) 371-8800
Monday, February 8, 2010
Shaun's Restaurant
If I spend another minute here, I might as well be a piece of fucking furniture. I wouldn't mind it if the broad smuggling the 2 chihuahuas in the blue sweater sat on me all night... It's ok, she floats. Here kitty kitty. 2 words: Communal Table.
I don't even look at the menu anymore... I just say, "FEED ME, I'M STARVING!". Then he makes the magic happen in that tiny ass kitchen like it's his bedroom. And he gives birth to some tasty ass vittles... Hey, I like ATM sometimes.
Chicken Liver Egg Salad - Holy fuck, sounds like a diabolical afterbirth but that placenta on a plate was OMFG good. He's trying to kill me, I know it. He just wants to trade his chopped livers for my choppers.
Salmon Crudo - This ain't no stinky pinky. If only all my ex-gf's looked and tasted this good. Fish was so fwesh as if a bear just delivered it from a river in his mouth. A hint of chili oil was a nice surprise.
Pork Buns - Besides the fact that he totally ripped this off from Momofuku, his buns are fluffy and supple... I inhaled his pork as if I was in prison. Makes me wanna put a couple of them down my pants and make my own pork bun.
Chicken Liver Fettuccini - This shit is so delicious that it deserves to be served in a silver fucking platter... And it was! What class! Call me, pal, when you got no class... We'll drink Natty Light and pick up sleazy wimmen in your Porsche.
Pork Schnitzel - It's better than the Schnauzers I had at another joint. Crispy Panko crust, thin and tender... He should do a Schnitzel truck down here. Beep beep. Hint hint.
Chocolate Mousse and Sticky Toffee Pudding are good if you're into that kinda stuff but as always, one bite and I'm done... But I'll have another whiskey old-fashioned to wash down that load.
Dude, give me your keys to your crib, I need a kat nap... Meet you out at the whorehouse, er, I mean, Bookhouse later.
Thanks, pal... You're the best.
Snore.
Burp.
Squirt.
1029 Edgewood Ave
Atlanta, GA 30308
(404) 577-4358
I don't even look at the menu anymore... I just say, "FEED ME, I'M STARVING!". Then he makes the magic happen in that tiny ass kitchen like it's his bedroom. And he gives birth to some tasty ass vittles... Hey, I like ATM sometimes.
Chicken Liver Egg Salad - Holy fuck, sounds like a diabolical afterbirth but that placenta on a plate was OMFG good. He's trying to kill me, I know it. He just wants to trade his chopped livers for my choppers.
Salmon Crudo - This ain't no stinky pinky. If only all my ex-gf's looked and tasted this good. Fish was so fwesh as if a bear just delivered it from a river in his mouth. A hint of chili oil was a nice surprise.
Pork Buns - Besides the fact that he totally ripped this off from Momofuku, his buns are fluffy and supple... I inhaled his pork as if I was in prison. Makes me wanna put a couple of them down my pants and make my own pork bun.
Chicken Liver Fettuccini - This shit is so delicious that it deserves to be served in a silver fucking platter... And it was! What class! Call me, pal, when you got no class... We'll drink Natty Light and pick up sleazy wimmen in your Porsche.
Pork Schnitzel - It's better than the Schnauzers I had at another joint. Crispy Panko crust, thin and tender... He should do a Schnitzel truck down here. Beep beep. Hint hint.
Chocolate Mousse and Sticky Toffee Pudding are good if you're into that kinda stuff but as always, one bite and I'm done... But I'll have another whiskey old-fashioned to wash down that load.
Dude, give me your keys to your crib, I need a kat nap... Meet you out at the whorehouse, er, I mean, Bookhouse later.
Thanks, pal... You're the best.
Snore.
Burp.
Squirt.
1029 Edgewood Ave
Atlanta, GA 30308
(404) 577-4358
Bobby G's
Anyone who puts the word "Authentic" on their menu better nut up or shut up. They got the decor but do they have balls? Speaking of balls, that damn Saxby Chambliss planted the seed in my head about people who drinks a lot with tattoos may have the Gay. My name ain't Jack Sparrow but I was craving some flesh arrow.
Always been wanting to try this joint out but the original spot is in Alpharetta. Fuck dat... Not even for a Chi-dog. But after a year or two, they took over My Panini's old space. What a dump that was. Patience makes the heart grow fonder, right? Or is that, Patience makes my pouch grow fatter? Whatever.
Bobby G's $9 pitcher of beer special... It's special alright, special ed. Got a tasting of it like it was some stash from their private cellar. It was more like from their private parts. Stick with Yuengling, your bladder will thank me later.
Chicago Dog - Aah, finally a traditional Chi-Dog done right. Dragged through the garden. Shit was tastee but it didn't make me wanna suck face with some dude though.
Classic Italian Beef - The famous Gonnella roll got me. Shaved beef looked very similar to my ex-gf's hoo-hoo. I didn't how or which way I should eat this. This definitely didn't make me wanna lick a sack but I did lick the Au Jus (or Aw Juice as the kid working there would say).
Italian Sausage - This ginzo tubesteak was juiced up! Shit hung out on both ends. We may have a "Situation" here. I tore that shit up like Snookie gnawing on a meat periscope.
Polish Sausage - Why did the Pole put ice in his condom? To keep the swelling down. Y'all know I had to do it. But I got the Maxwell street style- Grilled onions and peppers.
Wings - Honey BBQ and Chicago Fire. Passable wings, flavors were pedestrian. Chicago Fire had the BTU of an unlit match.
Onion Rings - Even these brown baggers trump those FUBAR bloomin onion rings at Ormsby's.
Fries - Crinkle cut Sysco special. Filler.
Wunder Bar - Chocolate covered frozen cheesecake on a stick. Nuff said.
Overall, it ain't a bad joint... They got the tools but they need a real mechanic to make this baybee run right. Definitely would go back for some more male organs and it's not because Saxby said to.
Pump.
Pump.
Mustard.
574 Main Street
Atlanta, GA 30324
(404) 841-6670
Always been wanting to try this joint out but the original spot is in Alpharetta. Fuck dat... Not even for a Chi-dog. But after a year or two, they took over My Panini's old space. What a dump that was. Patience makes the heart grow fonder, right? Or is that, Patience makes my pouch grow fatter? Whatever.
Bobby G's $9 pitcher of beer special... It's special alright, special ed. Got a tasting of it like it was some stash from their private cellar. It was more like from their private parts. Stick with Yuengling, your bladder will thank me later.
Chicago Dog - Aah, finally a traditional Chi-Dog done right. Dragged through the garden. Shit was tastee but it didn't make me wanna suck face with some dude though.
Classic Italian Beef - The famous Gonnella roll got me. Shaved beef looked very similar to my ex-gf's hoo-hoo. I didn't how or which way I should eat this. This definitely didn't make me wanna lick a sack but I did lick the Au Jus (or Aw Juice as the kid working there would say).
Italian Sausage - This ginzo tubesteak was juiced up! Shit hung out on both ends. We may have a "Situation" here. I tore that shit up like Snookie gnawing on a meat periscope.
Polish Sausage - Why did the Pole put ice in his condom? To keep the swelling down. Y'all know I had to do it. But I got the Maxwell street style- Grilled onions and peppers.
Wings - Honey BBQ and Chicago Fire. Passable wings, flavors were pedestrian. Chicago Fire had the BTU of an unlit match.
Onion Rings - Even these brown baggers trump those FUBAR bloomin onion rings at Ormsby's.
Fries - Crinkle cut Sysco special. Filler.
Wunder Bar - Chocolate covered frozen cheesecake on a stick. Nuff said.
Overall, it ain't a bad joint... They got the tools but they need a real mechanic to make this baybee run right. Definitely would go back for some more male organs and it's not because Saxby said to.
Pump.
Pump.
Mustard.
574 Main Street
Atlanta, GA 30324
(404) 841-6670
Nori Nori
"Deadliest catch, without the crabs... Almost outta gas, call the Arabs."
Yup, shit's OTP... So, gas up yo ride and try not to cry. Tugboats and Supertankers pulling up anchor cuz they're leaving dry land, get below deck with a dwink in my hand.
You know you're over eating when the buttons on your shirt starts popping apart. I rebuttoned a couple of them and found crabmeat inside my shirt. The fuck. Crabmeat. I gave up... And left my shirt open and continued the carnage.
Unlimited sooshee on one side and hot stuff on the other. Shit is dangerous... Someone can lose an eye with flying buttons up in this piece. Still like the place though... I can only waddle in here with my moo-moo once a month and that's once a month too many. It's embarrassing. Ok, it's not.
Staff is always friendly (except that fucker hiding all the Uni) and some of the broads here are hot as ballz... Excuse me, Miss, I think I dropped a Geoduck down my pants.
Oops, there goes my pants on the ground... Again.
ZIPPP.
6690 Roswell Rd
Sandy Springs, GA 30328
(404) 257-1288
Yup, shit's OTP... So, gas up yo ride and try not to cry. Tugboats and Supertankers pulling up anchor cuz they're leaving dry land, get below deck with a dwink in my hand.
You know you're over eating when the buttons on your shirt starts popping apart. I rebuttoned a couple of them and found crabmeat inside my shirt. The fuck. Crabmeat. I gave up... And left my shirt open and continued the carnage.
Unlimited sooshee on one side and hot stuff on the other. Shit is dangerous... Someone can lose an eye with flying buttons up in this piece. Still like the place though... I can only waddle in here with my moo-moo once a month and that's once a month too many. It's embarrassing. Ok, it's not.
Staff is always friendly (except that fucker hiding all the Uni) and some of the broads here are hot as ballz... Excuse me, Miss, I think I dropped a Geoduck down my pants.
Oops, there goes my pants on the ground... Again.
ZIPPP.
6690 Roswell Rd
Sandy Springs, GA 30328
(404) 257-1288
Caramba Cafe
Ay caramba...
I am not a destroyer of bad food, I am a liberator of them... Libertad! Libertad! Libertad!
Seriously, ground dog meat in BBQ sauce would be better than this slop... Wait, I think that was one of the dishes I sampled. They make El Azteca's grub tastes like I was back in Spanish Harlem. The only thing Mexican was the busboy doing the Mambo with his foot in the swinging doors to the kitchen. The menu is pretty much your standard issue gringomidas except they have "Multiples" instead of "Combos". Not only is their menu Lost in Translation, so is their cook. I think he was from Canada.
Our server was Dixie Wetsworth from Cabana Chat... Make that Caramba Crap. It was not exactly the poster child for a delicious meal. And I don't think the people here really cared if this was Mexican or Chinese food. I mean if you look around, this whole place reeks with "townies". Beggars can't be critics.
A Texas Marg was in dire need to cope with all these locally sourced dingleberries... I don't know if I was high on life or high on cleaning fumes but this tasted like frozen lime Gatorade. Jose Cuevo musta been the chap who made it.
Guacamole was this pastel nuclear green cream cheese thing. Shit, put some tapioca in it and you'll have a nice avocado bubble tea. Better yet, give it to RA Sushi and have them make a roll with this spunk.
Tacos, wow, what a specimen. If you let it sit there for a few minutes this thing actually moved on it's own. They should serve this on a petri dish instead. Ground beef tasted like sawdust, cheez was shredded on a nail file and the pile of lettuce looked like a goat chewed it up. Fortunately, it was not pink.
Other dishes around the table looked like what seemed to be a Caesar salad, Pancakes w/ lettuce and tomato, and Hot Pockets w/ BBQ sauce. It all just looked so fucking ridiculous... Along with their mixed media decor.
Who ever thinks this is good Mexican grub should not operate heavy landscaping machinery let alone a row boat. Viva la Cuba! My bowels are upset just thinking about it.
Flusho.
1409 N Highland Ave NE Ste D
Atlanta, GA 30306
(404) 874-1343
I am not a destroyer of bad food, I am a liberator of them... Libertad! Libertad! Libertad!
Seriously, ground dog meat in BBQ sauce would be better than this slop... Wait, I think that was one of the dishes I sampled. They make El Azteca's grub tastes like I was back in Spanish Harlem. The only thing Mexican was the busboy doing the Mambo with his foot in the swinging doors to the kitchen. The menu is pretty much your standard issue gringomidas except they have "Multiples" instead of "Combos". Not only is their menu Lost in Translation, so is their cook. I think he was from Canada.
Our server was Dixie Wetsworth from Cabana Chat... Make that Caramba Crap. It was not exactly the poster child for a delicious meal. And I don't think the people here really cared if this was Mexican or Chinese food. I mean if you look around, this whole place reeks with "townies". Beggars can't be critics.
A Texas Marg was in dire need to cope with all these locally sourced dingleberries... I don't know if I was high on life or high on cleaning fumes but this tasted like frozen lime Gatorade. Jose Cuevo musta been the chap who made it.
Guacamole was this pastel nuclear green cream cheese thing. Shit, put some tapioca in it and you'll have a nice avocado bubble tea. Better yet, give it to RA Sushi and have them make a roll with this spunk.
Tacos, wow, what a specimen. If you let it sit there for a few minutes this thing actually moved on it's own. They should serve this on a petri dish instead. Ground beef tasted like sawdust, cheez was shredded on a nail file and the pile of lettuce looked like a goat chewed it up. Fortunately, it was not pink.
Other dishes around the table looked like what seemed to be a Caesar salad, Pancakes w/ lettuce and tomato, and Hot Pockets w/ BBQ sauce. It all just looked so fucking ridiculous... Along with their mixed media decor.
Who ever thinks this is good Mexican grub should not operate heavy landscaping machinery let alone a row boat. Viva la Cuba! My bowels are upset just thinking about it.
Flusho.
1409 N Highland Ave NE Ste D
Atlanta, GA 30306
(404) 874-1343
Chong Qing Hot Pot
Ching Chong, Ding Dong, Cheech & Chong...
Call it what you want, just give me your spiciest offal crap in a pot... And throw in some of them blood cakes while you're at it. Dude comes out from the back like Bilbo Baggins with a shit eatin' grin and one hand down his pants whispering "Precious". The fuck. Whatever Smeagol, just bring it.
This food court never ceases to amaze me... It goes from craptastic to fantastic. The jack shack on the left side has all your FMV (For Mexican Value) favorites. Then on the right side you have Hong Kong BBQ tempting me with their fine ass duck and pork. But in the middle you got a couple of Chino joints that serves a good variety of vittles on the cheap.
Chongqing is the birth place of Sichuan grub. I mean, the real shit is hot as ballz... But this shack reminds me more of Chengdu, the redheaded stepchild. This bitch may have a fire bush but not enough fire in the pot. The hot pots are still tastee though but I expected a shitload more heat... Heat that would make a Panda's ass implode. This is good hangover grub.
The noodles et al are all good options as well. There's still so much on the menu to explore. But deciding what to eat in this here food court is a lofty task. All the street type nosheries are good, cheap and hefty portions.
I wished I had a food court like this in my office mall. All's I haz is Raving Blandz type shit. Sometimes you have to drive to Buford highway if you want the good stuff... Settling for sub-par grub (ie: pho) just because is near your house is just a cop-out.
BTW- Their menu es en Mexicanese & Engrish.
Burpo.
5385 New Peachtree Road
Atlanta, GA 30341
(770) 936-1379
Call it what you want, just give me your spiciest offal crap in a pot... And throw in some of them blood cakes while you're at it. Dude comes out from the back like Bilbo Baggins with a shit eatin' grin and one hand down his pants whispering "Precious". The fuck. Whatever Smeagol, just bring it.
This food court never ceases to amaze me... It goes from craptastic to fantastic. The jack shack on the left side has all your FMV (For Mexican Value) favorites. Then on the right side you have Hong Kong BBQ tempting me with their fine ass duck and pork. But in the middle you got a couple of Chino joints that serves a good variety of vittles on the cheap.
Chongqing is the birth place of Sichuan grub. I mean, the real shit is hot as ballz... But this shack reminds me more of Chengdu, the redheaded stepchild. This bitch may have a fire bush but not enough fire in the pot. The hot pots are still tastee though but I expected a shitload more heat... Heat that would make a Panda's ass implode. This is good hangover grub.
The noodles et al are all good options as well. There's still so much on the menu to explore. But deciding what to eat in this here food court is a lofty task. All the street type nosheries are good, cheap and hefty portions.
I wished I had a food court like this in my office mall. All's I haz is Raving Blandz type shit. Sometimes you have to drive to Buford highway if you want the good stuff... Settling for sub-par grub (ie: pho) just because is near your house is just a cop-out.
BTW- Their menu es en Mexicanese & Engrish.
Burpo.
5385 New Peachtree Road
Atlanta, GA 30341
(770) 936-1379
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