Krog Bar Coal Fired Pizza

I used to live down the street from Krog Steakbar, it was a pretty good resto, especially, with Kevin Rathbun's talent. But I haven't been back to this Peachtree Hills area for a long time. There was no reason to ever since I moved out of this heavily congested Peachtree Rd area.... Until now. When I hear there's a new artisan 'ZA joint using a coal-fired oven, I have to get a fix just like a junkie. I would even sell my XXL dad bod on Cheshire Bridge for a coal-fired taste. There's not many coal oven 'ZA joints in this one horse town... The only one I can think of is Max's Coal Oven and they are no Lombardi's in NYC. This Peachtree Hills area has become very pricey and the elitist demographics is more than delighted to have a fancy 'ZA joint to spend their unlimited loot on... Along with their demon spawns in tow. I like the cozy space and simple menu, it keeps the quality and control in check. They have a nice patio outside for the overflow and kids. The first thing I looked at was the oven... Have no idea what make it is but I didn't see any coals in it or near it. It looked like a UFO. If I had a coal-fired 'ZA oven, I would be bragging about it non-stop like 1982 Heather Locklear was my girlfriend... But I will settle for a lightly used Farrah Fawcett's 1976 poster.  

OK, enough of the small talk and foreplay... Let's get to the coal-fired 'ZA!

Old Fashioned, $16. Originally, I got the Negroni Sbagliato cocktail but it was so bitterly disgusting and un-imbibable, I had to send it back. I love Negroni's but that was a total garbage cocktail. The server and bartender was nice enough to swap it out for the OF... Which was much more drinkable. I forgot the name of their well whiskey but it was one I never heard of from Kentucky. It tasted fine.

Coal Roasted Artichoke Hearts, pangrattato, parmesan, $12. Basically, it's two artichoke hearts for $12... But it was well prepared and tasted pretty good with the lemon zest and juice. The pangrattato was practically nonexistent. Keep the drippings to smear your pizza crust or bread into... It's pretty tasty.

The Italian, provolone, prosciutto, coppa, mozzarella, Jamie's giardiniera, $16. Looks like they removed the arugula which was on the online menu but their online picture still shows arugula. A little peppery greens woulda been a nice touch for taste and color. Shit, it's not like arugula is so expensive. So, let's get back to this ginzo sando... Tis was truly meh. It is so boring looking, almost pathetic. Barely any filler of cheese, meats and giardiniera... It was all bread which was pretty decent after smearing in the artichoke lemon zest juice but it was basically bread service for $16. The filler ingredients were all tasteless snoozers... Was it vegan meat? I was excited to try the giardiniera because I love that pickled shit but it was literally a teaspoon full and it was barely pickled. If they didn't list it on the menu, you wouldn't even know it was in there. There is no fucking way a real guido would ever approve of this Eyetalian sando. Go to Nicky's Undefeated for a really good Italian on a Liscio's seeded roll for $10, it easily destroys this overpriced trash. Such a disappointment for a ridiculous $16.

The pizza comes in two sizes- 12 inch and 16 inch. Let's try a few of them out and see if it's worth the price. I got all the 12 inch 'ZAs... So, this fat fuck can try more pies.

Surf Clam, garlic, oregano, parsley, evoo, pecorino, lemon, $17/21. This ain't no Frank Pepe's white clam pie from New Haven, CT. Not even close. Look at all that bare empty crust. This was basically a giant toasted pita bread with sprinkles. Such an insult to Frank Pepe's nationally acclaimed and celebrated pie. Seriously, zoom in on the sprinkles... There is barely any chopped clams on there. And to claim it's surf clam is a total stretch... But does it really matter? The demographics here won't even know the difference if they topped it with frozen Manila clams. Shit, a 6.5 oz can of Snow's chopped clams is on sale for $1.00 at Walmart right now. Each slice had like two scrawny nuggets of chopped clam and it gets stuck in your teeth like the abductor muscle of a mussel. They should include two toothpicks with the lemon slices. The pie was so dry, flavorless and barely any pecorino or the other ingredients. This specimen is truly the epitome of a fugazi. $17 down the drain.

Divola, tomato, coppa, calabrian chili, mozzarella, $16/20. Isn't it spelled "Diavola"? WTF is a Divola? Maybe it's better they spell it wrong with the sight of this exhibit. What a mess. Did raccoons make this? That crust looks like cheap pizza chain dough... I asked the server what kind of flour they used. She had to asked the cooks and came back with "pizza dough". Someone fucking stab me in the eye with the one calabrian chili on the pie, now. But my eyeball went straight to the lovely char blister... Let's take a closer look.

The puffy char blister may be the only saving grace of this hideous Pizza the Hutt. The red sauce was vibrant but extremely bland and unseasoned. The coppa was fine but the delicate sweetness didn't really stand out in that soupy cheesy mix in that Boboli premade crust. The whole purpose of a Diavola 'ZA is the calabrian chili peppers that gives it the fruity, smoky and spicy notes but it barely had any on it. If you're drunk or high as a tweaker, this may be acceptable... Or maybe not.

Margherita, tomato, buffalo mozzarella, basil, $15/19. WTF happened to this? Oh, I know... Mofo dropped the damn pie coming out of the oven. Spilled all the sauce over the crust. How is this even acceptable to send out? Speaking of sauce, why is there so much fucking sauce in this bread bowl? The basil was added during the cooking process and shriveled up like a bad case of shrinkage during a polar bear plunge. The classic Margherita is loved by all for it simplicity and fresh flavorful ingredients but it is not simple to execute properly... And one look of this pie really shows the lack of attention to details. It is just plain sloppy and ugly to look at. The taste was equally sloppy with no balance. 

The upskirt was actually very nice with the proper char spots... But the dough was tough to chew and hard to pull apart... Even with all that tomato soup on top. They should have served this with a grilled cheese.

This visit was pretty much a disappointment. I felt totally ripped off. Especially, coming from a proven and successful chef and restaurateur. Nothing came together during the entire meal except for the artichokes. The table next to me ordered the K.R.O.G. with the fennel sausage and it was made just as sloppy as my Margherita. There were tiny bits of sausage sparsely sprinkled about like the surf clam pie and they ate the shit outta it and said it was so good... Yeah, I don't think so. They just wanted to convince themselves that anything from Kevin Rathbun will always be good. This proves most people have the palate of a billy goat. This is another one and done. No need for a revisit which makes me sad because fatsos love pizza.

349 Peachtree Hills Ave NE

Suite D-2

Atlanta, GA 30305

https://krsteakbar.com/krog-bar-coal-fired-pizza/

**Here's a prime example of a properly executed Napoletana 'ZA with the right ingredients... Guess where...

Margherita, tomato sauce, mozzarella, basil, buffalo mozzarella, romano, olive oil, garlic, $21. It's a big pie for the price of admission. Ask for extra fresh basil and chopped garlic... So damn guud I ate the entire pie... Pouch, you fat fuck! Thank you.

Perfectly manscaped upskirt... The 00 Caputo flour creates the perfect pull on the dough. Look at those char spots... Extra flava!

A real Eyetalian 'ZA oven... Cooks in less than 1 1/2 minzies.

Forza Forni... Squirt.