Three Mountain Yellow Sriracha and Samyang Buldak HOT Chicken Flavor Sauce

The Pouch has never endorse any products on this ridiculous blog but since everyone has been cooking at home more than anytime in history, I thought these two products might be of interest for people who love hot sauces... Wait, I mean my one reader who may or may not like hot sauces...
Every woke roundeye has appropriated the Huy Fong "rooster" sriracha chili sauce as their discovery and have been stocking their pantry with the Asian ketchup for a few years now because they are now "in the know", but they are still not keen to their other two products, sambal oelek and chili garlic sauces, which in this fat slob's opinion are far more superior than their ubiquitous sriracha.... That shit is for the fucking amateurs and plebs. Don't get me wrong, that shit is still pretty good but I ain't using it as much as I did in the past... I use it mostly for burgers, hot dogs and fries these days, it's good for bland fatty American foods.
The Pouch has always made it's own homemade hot sauces from a variety of peppers like the bhut jolokia, pot, scorpion, reaper, viper, and naga morich because I have yet to find a store bought hot sauce that could hit like 3 million scoville units... Yes, there are some crazy hot capsaicin concentrates or oil extracts, but those aren't considered sauces, though.. But that doesn't mean I'm not always on the look out for new and interesting hot sauces on the store shelves whether it's ultra hot or just flavorful enough for certain foods, it really depends on what you want to pair it with. The two newest ones that I actually wanted to buy and try were a yellow sriracha and a hot chicken sauce... C'mon, that's a no brainer... Sold!
Let's take a first look and taste and see if it's worth the non-biodegradable plastic it's filled in...

Three Mountains Brand Spicy Yellow Sriracha Chilli Sauce. When I saw this all I could think of was a passage from one of Velvet Jones' Harlequin romance novels because I am such a romantic... "I saw them sitting on the shelf at H Mart. Dare I approach them? My heart pounded inside my chest. I felt a burning in my loins I had never felt before. Thus, I realized I had been... Kicked in the Pouch by Love."
A yellow sriracha chilli sauce? Sheee-it... I would buy it just for the shear novelty of it. But is it just a gimmick to get shoppers to buy it? Fuck yeah it is... But I didn't care. Take my money, motherfuckers! The had a small bottle size which was tempting just to try it and if it sucked who cares... But the Pouch doesn't go small on anything and went with the big bottle. Lucky I did because I was back the following week and both the big and small bottles were all out of stock. The secwet was out... In the words of Judge Smails, "Weeeeell?! We're waiting...". The Pouch friggin' loved it. It's not very spicy but the flavors were pretty awesome. It's more tangy and runny than the common red sriracha. It's one of the original sriracha from Thailand and the ingredients are all natural (yellow chilli, sugar, garlic, vinegar, salt). I have been squirting this shit on everything from fwied cheekan, wangz, tacos, flied lice, noodles, seafood, dog meat, titties... So fucking guud. Git it... If you can find it, suckaz!

Samyang Buldak Extremely Spicy HOT Chicken Flavor Sauce (Halal approved). First off, I friggin lurv the mouth flame-breather cheekan with the most fobby hairdo ever holding an ACME bomb with a lit fuse. Second, did y'all say "HOT chicken flavor sauce"... A spicy sauce dedicated to chicken? Fuck yeah, I'll buy that for a dollar or five. They have a regular original spicy chicken sauce with the black label but fuck that pussy shit... I want the "extremely spicy" chicken sauce because I want to feel the tingle in my loins and the growls in my pouch...
Let's see what's inside... Ingredients: Sauce (100%): water, artificial chicken flavor, corn syrup, soy sauce, soybean oil, onion, decolorized chili extract, garlic, paprika extract, green tea flavor oil.
Hmm, I don't know WTF decolorized chili extract is but it sounds pretty processed and colon cleansing... No matter, I have eaten so much weird shit in my measly life that would make a billy goat puke. This is child's play compared to the heinous shit that has gone down my throat and out the brown eye. I'm excited to try this chickenhead juice... They say to shake it well like a shake weight. The sauce is long, dark and thick as molasses... That's what she said. I had some leftover Publix fwied cheekan and it was the perfect vehicle to test this chicken lips sauce... And of course, I glazed an entire leg with it. Big mistake because this chicken sauce was surprisingly spicy. I guess that decolorized chili extract was pretty potent. I searched around to find a Scoville Heat Unit level for this and found nothing... But the comparable 2X Spicy Hot Chicken Flavor Ramen is listed as 10,000 SHU... And that shit was pretty hot. But I don't think they are using the SHU chart correctly because the 2X Hot Chicken ramen is way hotter than a serrano pepper which is between 8,000 to 12,000 SHU, it was more in the range of a habanero at 150,000+ SHU... Are these Coreans using metric or SAE for their SHU rating? Anyways, this Hot Chicken Flavor sauce is a keeper. Would I buy it again? Probably not after I finish it because my homemade sauces are much more spicier. But I would suggest it to noobs who were looking for something different, ethnic and spicy enough to make them cry for their mama's.
Speaking of crying... I'll be crying myself to sleep tonight, again... Like usual. I may be lonely but I ain't gonna be alone tonight with these two beauties. Pump pump... Squirt.

Man Chun Hong

So, the COVID "experts" like Dr. Fauci and Greta Thunberg say that the old geezers and heifers are at a greater risk of contracting the Coronavirus because they are frail, weak, obeast and flatulent... Well, if that is true, then I guess the Pouch is shit outta luck because this fat fuck ain't getting any younger, skinnier or less gassy in quarantine... I think the official medical term is IBS-Q. Every time, I play the ass bagpipes, Alexa keeps telling me that strong thunderstorms are possible this evening. Jesus Christ, no wonder why I am so lonely.. Can y'all imagine this corpulent slob hanging around the home trough all day long for days on end, mass consuming anything and everything in the fridge and cupboards. I'm like the Coneheads, but the cone in my case is coming out from my marsupial pouch...
I can't stand it anymore, it's time to get out like Jordan Peele and eat some real oriental grub... My thinking is that the further out on Buford Hwy I go, the safer it will be. Where to go, where to go... Shit, the better question to ask is what the fuck is open these days? Our government officials, like the governor and mayor, have opposing views on how and when to reopen the economy, especially, the service industry... But should we be listening to anyone who has tested positive for C19?
It still amazes me on how many motherfuckers are still running around the city and state without masks in high density areas like Piedmont Park, the Beltline and bars and restaurants that are open. There are thousands of people hanging out within inches of each other at the park every weekend and not one cocksucker have a mask on... And these are the same social justice warriors who go on social media telling people what to do and how to live their lives because they are socially and morally superior than anyone else. And then I watch them go into a bar on 10th sitting shoulder to shoulder with their friends without masks on... I think y'all can figure out who's a fraud and who's not. Just do what y'all need to do to protect yourselves... I'm not your mother and neither is the government because they got no fucking clue on how to solve this, they just know how to blame everyone else for their incompetence.
Let's get back on track here, Pouch... This stupid ass blog is about grub, so, let's get to the eats already you fat fuck... I know my one reader has been dying for new beat off material for a long long time. The Pouch has been in radio silence for awhile since all this shit started but the Pouch will never stop eating and reporting all that's fit to eat... Even if it takes awhile to update this deplorable blog. Hopefully, my one fan is still with us in this one horse town. So, I have been busy supporting and eating takeout from the local mom and pop shops... But one thing I haven't done is eat in at one of the few places that are doing dine-in. I will not dine-in anywhere ITP because a lot of intown people are dicks and they have no respect for anyone else except themselves. If I were to dine-in somewhere it would be for food that is worth the risk since it would probably be my last meal. So, what cuisine will the Pouch risk life and sausage limbs to dine-in? Would it be Mexican't, French, American, Greek, Eyetalian or Southern? Fuck all that shit, y'all, know it would the one and only Asian vittles. Like with all restos, there's not a lot of oriental restos that are open for dine-in at this moment... But I have been keeping up with a few restos that are up Buford Hwy...
Seoul Plaza has been around for a long time with mostly the same restos in this small strip mall over the years... The only joint that is constantly in flux is the sushi place that has been turned over more than a 2 dollar whore. The one place I haven't been back to in a while is Man Chun Hong, a hybrid Chino-Corean joint... They have been renovating the space since the beginning of the year and coincidentally Covid hit right in the middle of their renovations which could be seen as a silver lining. They used the time when everything was closed to finish up their renovation. They reopened a few weeks ago and put in place all the protocols for dine-in visits. They take your temp before you can enter and they have hand sanitizer and wipes. The dining room has been totally redone with high back booths which is a perfect barrier from other nasty mouth breathers. The place was not crowded, maybe 2 tables with diners spread apart and I felt pretty comfortable eating in here, especially, for my first time for dine-in.
Let's get the fuck in there, order the shit and gobble it down quick... I hope they are still good as they were before...

Pork Dumplings. Boiled dumplings with pork and veggies, $8. These plain old looking mini boiled dumps doesn't look like much but they sure were addictive... It's like popcorn cheekan, you just can't eat one. Mix some soy sauce and a good amount of vinegar to give it an extra kick to your facehole.

Sweet & Sour Pork. Fried pork with our special sweet & sour sauce with mixed veggies, $18. This was a pretty hefty portion of cwispy fwied prok. The sauce is on the side so you can pour it on right before you eat it... No one likes soggy fried pork that has been sitting around waiting to get to the table. Damn, it looks friggin dericious... I ain't waiting any longer, pour that shit on, you fleshy weeble-wobble...

Pour some sweet & sour sauce on meat... Ooh, in the name of pork.. C'mon, eat me up.. I can't get enough.. I'm fat, sticky sweet.. From my snout to my pouch, yeah.. Oink oink. This was a wonderful dish. It's not like the authentic Chinese sweet & sour pork with the brown sauce, this Korean version has a lighter color sauce but it's a lot more tangy. Just dericious.

Jja Jjang Myun. Stir fried black bean paste with pork, onions but without starch and homemade noodles made with spinach, $11. You can't come to a Corean joint without ordering this classic dish. What makes them different with their version here is the spinach green noodles. Just gorgeous looking... Even after mixing it all up with the black bean paste which coats the noodles evenly and consistent with each bite. It was also a huge portion. Pro-tip: They have combos- you can get an order of the s&s pork and jia jjang myun for a discounted price but same size portions as the a la carte... Fuck yeah.

Szechuan Spicy Fried Eggplant. Spicy, fried eggplants with cilantro and Szechuan peppercorns, $18. At first glance, it was kinda pricey for fried eggplant sticks but when it came out the portion was ginormous... At least twice the normal size at other Szechuan joints around town. They were ultra crispy and thick and tasted really good... But they were just a tad over fried where the crust was almost too hard on a few pieces. Not that it was bad, far from it, but when this dish is executed perfectly, you will want to keep sliding down eggplant after eggplant down your throat... Remember, relax the throat and let it slide in naturally... That's what Jenna Jameson always told me.

Mapa Tofu (Korean style with pork). Spicy, silken tofu with spicy bean paste, garlic, ginger and scallions, $14. There's also the Chinese style with Szechuan peppercorns or the Korean style without... Go with the Korean style for $4 less and it tastes just as good. It doesn't say it has pork on the menu but it does. Look at the vibrant color of that spicy red bean paste... Give me a bowl of rice, STAT... I'm starving like a Gap girl. It has just the right amount of spiciness for a normal human being but this marsupial pouch could go up a couple more notches on the heat scale. It was still very tasty and I inhaled half of this huge portion... I don't know if this is normal but the kitchen has been very generous on the portions for every dish that has came out. I ain't complaining, I just wished more restos did the same!

Shan City Style Chili Chicken. Spicy, special Szechuan style chicken with Chinese peppers, Szechuan peppercorns, garlic and ginger, $17. One of my favorite Szechuan dishes but a lot of places cut the chicken pieces up so small that it's mostly crust than chicken... But this specimen had perfect bite size fwied cheekan pieces where you could actually taste the meat. It looked spicy but it needed more Szechuan peppercorns to bring it to the next level... Oh, I'm not saying it wasn't good because I gobbled this entire dish down. It was more than acceptable and they didn't overload it with the dried red chilis which are more for looks and filler than taste... And I loved it. Shit, my fat ass love anything fried and cheekan.

I don't know if it was covid that closed down restos or the quarantine that kept people home cooking for months but every dish I have sampled on my first dine-in visit has been excellent... And I ain't kissing their ass, either, because I don't know if they went downhill since my last visit many many moons ago. But y'all know what, I have been missing out all this time. Don't make the same mistake I made, get your ass back in there and eat their excellent Chino-Corean grub... Or get take out if you're overly worried about the covid. Either way, it ain't gonna hurt my feelings... Unless, you're unwilling to share their tasty dishes with others.

Pump pump... Squirt.

5953 Buford Hwy NE
#105
Atlanta, GA 30340
https://www.manchunhong.com/