This fat fuck is pizza'd out after all the deep dish slop it has been shoveling down into the pouch. But trivial things like over eating excessively, high cholesterol and cardiac arrest doesn't concern the Pouch when it comes to it's duty to perform for it's one fan. The original Ammazza on Edgewood had a great vibe, a spacious interior, a raw loft style decor and the 'Za was not too shabby either... Actually, the pizza was pretty good even for the Pouch's standards... Then two fucking twats drove straight into the building not once but twice within a short period of time and flooded the goddamn joint. What kinda retard drives into a fucking giant brick building... Wait, nevermind, drivers in Atlanta are all fucking entitled retards who are always on their phone. Remember that hands free law that passed last year that all these for the children progressives were so gung-ho about? Yeah, obviously, they're not subjected to it. Do as I say, not what I do seems to be their M.O... The Pouch's M.O. is to eat as much shit as possible, so, get the fuck outta my way.
So, Ammazza took over the old Twisted Soul space which was also the MarBar and Feast... Wow, that's some historical shit that I just pulled outta my ass right there. Anyone remember those joints? Hmmm, is this space cursed? All the signs says yes... Even the Decatur Market a couple of doors down closed not long after it opened. But somehow Doggy Dogg has survived all these closures around it, it's quite baffling. Let's see if "Neapolitan" pizza can break the curse. For Ammazza, the space is a lot smaller than they were used to. They still got the order at the counter and find a seat scam going on but you can sit at the lengthy bar and order with the bartender... Which is always my preference.
Let's take a first look and see if there will be a second...
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Big open window to see the Acunto ovens in action. Some of the action you might not want to see... Like watching the pizza makers (not pizzaiolos) blowing under the dough because it was sticking to the peel. Yeah, you heard me, they big guy with the beard was using his mouth to blow moist warm lung air to release the dough from the peel so it will slide off into the oven... Mmm, who doesn't love a hint of bearded saliva mist. Anyone have any Binaca? At least he wasn't blowing on the pizza after it comes out of the 900 degree oven... Which hopefully has killed any mouth breather germs.
I was hoping to see the pizza fritta on the menu but no such hope... Maybe they will add it to the menu later on... If they don't go belly up first. The pizzas ain't cheap for the regular and large pies, seems like the prices have increased... Hopefully, the quality and portion size hasn't. Only one way to find out... Or three ways...
Ammazzare, artisan Italian sausage with roasted peppers, vidalia onion, fresh basil and house mozzarella. $18/$24. The namesake pie. The crust looked pretty decent, nice char blisters and a little puffy but the dough was pretty thin in the middle. May be a challenge to support all the ingredients on top. Picked up a slice and yup, the slice was floppy like a basset hound's ears. Folding it in half didn't help, either. I had to roll the tip of the triangle in like a Thai rolled ice cream. It's not a bad looking pie but with the supposedly quality ingredients that they brag about, it was kinda flavorless, everything fused together and it all tasted like one flavor.
Margherita, house mozzarella, fresh basil and extra virgin olive oil. Baked to perfection. $14/$20. The most simple pie is usually the best pie... But that is not always true. Margherita pies are usually the benchmark of any pizzeria but this one here on this visit was just average. Once again, the entire pie tasted like one ingredient. The house mozzarella had no taste whatsoever and the sauce was pretty weak. Not that it was a bad pie, but it wasn't worth the price of admission. At least, it didn't have the floppy Dumbo ear problem like the first pie.
Inferno, spicy sopressata, house mozzarella, calabria peppers and basil. $17/23. How fucking chintzy can you be with the peppers... This is supposed to be an Inferno 'Za. You can put out this fire with a soft breeze... Like a big bearded beast blowing kisses underneath the pie to cool it down. They are also really light on the mozzarella, too. Some slices barely had any cheese on it and that goes for all three pies I sampled. I usually love the pies with calabria peppers but this was pretty underwhelming and not spicy at all.
Cannoli. Why Pouch, why? Why would you put a tiny cigarillo on a pizza pan? Shit better have weed in it to trick my tiny brain into thinking this was a good idea. As for cannolis go, this was pretty entry level at best. It's nothing special but if you have to have a cannoli, I guess this will do... So, would a chocolate Twinkie.
So, they give you these round reheatable boxes to go. They are pretty cool but how much do each of these costs? No wonder why the pizzas are so friggin pricey, the cost of these boxes are worked into the price of each pie. So, always leave a few slices to take home and get the box that you paid for, for your leftovers. I know I know, the Pouch had leftovers? Blasphemous! Sacrilegious! Look, I ate 2 of the 3 pies, isn't that enough for my one reader? Jesus, I just realized that is not normal for one sitting, I am such a fat fuck. I also had like 4 adult beverages, too... And liquid and doughy crust inside the Pouch causes an explosive chemical reaction. Violet Beauregarde ain't got nuthin' on the Pouch... They're gonna need a XXL juicer to squeeze my fat ass.
I like the idea of Ammazza opening up in Decatur but the 'Za's didn't remind me of the old Edgewood Ammazza pies. There is very little crave-worthiness to them. It's pretty average with not very average prices. People say that cheap street food shouldn't be cheap... But there's no fucking way I'm spending over $100 for 3 average pizzas and a couple of drinks again. Don't worry, I'm sure they will still get a crowd no matter how average the pizzas are... It's all about convenience over quality and taste. But I ate the shit out of the leftovers after drowning myself with brown juice early into the morning hours and then crying myself to sleep after I saw myself naked in the funny mirror... Wait, I don't own a funny mirror, damn these fat rolls!
314 E.Howard Ave
Decatur, GA 30030
https://ammazza.com/ammazza-decatur/
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