Everybody and their grandma has been all like... "This is the tits to the knees" since this place opened. I don't know if their grandma really said that, come to think of it, I don't think anyone has ever said that... Ok, it was just me, I made that shit up. But yeah, I was excited too for this kitschy shop to open up. I like circuses, carnivals, side shows and creepy clowns. But I wasn't stupid enough to think this type of state fair grub was gonna change my way of life. This is the type of chow that you do once in awhile for shits and giggles... Great for kids and out of towners. What I do know is that they do make a kickass corn dog. Let's see what else is going on with the menu.
Chocolate Malted Shake, Egg Cream. Malted is the only way to shake your money maker, shit, you'll definitely have a fat ass if you drink enough of these shakes. I was really excited to see a NY Style Egg Cream made with Fox's U-Bet chocolate syrup on the menu but then I came back to reality. I have tried every egg cream in this town and they were all failures. I don't know what's with NY 'Za and NY egg creams, but no one can get it right outside of NYC (like the NYC 'Za). This version was all seltzer and milk with a tiny squirt of chocolate syrup at the bottom. What a disappointment, I had to ask the server for extra chocolate syrup... It was just plain not good. But the shakes are good. I will have to try their homemade sodas next time. No sriracha shake this time, I'ma too skeered that it will suck which will make me sad.
Poutine. Small portion of fries with gravy and curd on top that cost an extra $4 on top of the fries which made this small sample of poutine at a skull scratching $6.50. Hope it's worth what the server was saying that the gravy was made with bone marrow and junk. Fries could use another couple of minutes in the fryer, the curds were decent, the gravy was thin and scarce for the price of admission. The overall flavor of the gravy was pretty weak from what little I got scraping the bottom for every last drop of it. I love poutine but this needs work to make it worth the scratch I shelled out (not that it was expensive but I'm no sucker either).
Corndogski, Polish Kielbasa. The batter is thick yet delicate. Like I said before, it's a pretty badass corn dog. Their grainy mustard is the only condiment to be used with this plump and crusty beast.
Beef Frank. This is one girthy beef dog. It is a good tube steak, but the bun seriously needs to be buttered and toatsted to maximize the total umami explosion in your mouth... Chicks will thank me for it.
Pork Burger. It sounds better on paper than in your mouth. It is basically a breakfast pork sausage patty on a bun. I got the 1/4 to test it but maybe I needed to get the 1 pounder to get the full effect? Who knows but it would be on the bottom of my list next time. Maybe I can sucker someone at the table to get it. Not bad, just not really crave-worthy. Once again, bun - buttered and toasted.
Deli Duo, 1/4 Corned Beef, 1/4 Pastrami, Half Sour. This is a good deal to sample both the corned beef and pastrami. They put more than enough meats on each than you really need to eat. Both looked pretty good, nice color, nice flavor, a little too fatty but it needed a serious dunk in the drippings. That's the key, both pastrami and corned beef needs to be either sliced to order to maintain moisture... Or if pre-sliced for order efficiency, a quick dip in the drippings is a must. The half sour was half a pickle with half the sour flavor, they don't lie. I still liked it, though. And one more time, buttered and toasted, bun needs be.
There's a bunch of other stuff I need to try on the menu (ie: smoked chicken salad sando) but overall first impressions left room for needed light improvements. There were equal amounts of hits and misses but they are definitely on the right track. The place is fun for adults and kids alike... Shit, we can't forget the hipsters. Luckily, there is booze, which will make sharing space with a room of full beards and oversized spectacle frames without lenses bearable. Who am I kidding... Fraudy hipsters are unbearable even when drunk.
Go check it out, you will enjoy it even if the food is not up to snuff right now.
17N Avondale Plaza
Avondale Estates, GA 30002
404-500-1786
http://pallookaville.com/
Friday, November 22, 2013
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Nam Phuong - Buford Hwy
I'm glad they opened this location intown because no one really wants to drive OTP on a Sunday night. I just want to gorge myself and drive as little as possible back home and fall into a food coma with one hand down my underpants while my dog licks my other fish sauce glazed cheekan wang fingaz. The family meal deals here are still the best value anywhere in town no matter what cuisine it is. They stuff the shit outta you on the cheap. Six people can get the 5 person meal deal for less than $60 and walk out a total fat ass afterwards. That's like 10 scratch per person. Sign me up!
This is one of my favorite Viet joints because it's more than just the standard pho, c'om and bun... Which are all decent as well but the family meal kills it when you want to feed a lot of peeps for a little bit of moolah. The fish sauce glazed wings are some of the best wings in town and I always have to get them when I come here. Fuck, no wonder why I am so goddamn fat...
4051 Buford Hwy NE
Atlanta, GA 30345
(404) 633-2400
http://www.namphuongatlanta.com/
Papaya Salad w/ Shrimp and Pork.
Basil Rolls.
Fried Chicken Wings w/ Glazed Fish Sauce (not part of this deal).
Fried Whole Flounder.
Chive Flower w/ King Mushrooms.
Sweet and Sour Fish Soup .
Salt and Pepper Squid.
Viet Shaking Beef.
Pan Fried Egg Noodle w/ Seafood and Mixed Vegs (not part of this deal).
This is one of my favorite Viet joints because it's more than just the standard pho, c'om and bun... Which are all decent as well but the family meal kills it when you want to feed a lot of peeps for a little bit of moolah. The fish sauce glazed wings are some of the best wings in town and I always have to get them when I come here. Fuck, no wonder why I am so goddamn fat...
4051 Buford Hwy NE
Atlanta, GA 30345
(404) 633-2400
http://www.namphuongatlanta.com/
Monday, November 18, 2013
Raku - Westend
What is up with all these decent ethnic joints wanting to open up in midtown and surrounding areas? Gu's Bistro, Sweet Hut and now Raku... Ethnic restos belong on Buford Hwy and beyond, that's where the magic happens. But nooo, Raku has beaten them to the punch with opening their 2nd location at a fast n furious pace in the old shitty Burger Joe's spot. Man, that place was awful... I couldn't imagine now gnawing on a bloody medium rare ground meat flapjack and staring at the creastures coming and going at Stilettos next door. It doesn't exactly send out images of unicorns and rainbows, more like Fat Albert and Mushmouth. If you saw some of these scalawags I have seen, you wouldn't be able to speak either.
But anyways, Raku had the balls to come to hood and dreamed the dream of cheekans gone fried, when dopes were high, and wives worth beating, dreamed that Dancers Elite would never die, dreamed that Pouch would be forgiving... So, let's take a few bites and hopefully they aren't as Les Miserables as some would speculate. Ok, that some would be me.
Takoyaki. Octopus balls. They were similar to the ones at their original location... Large. I kinda wanted to string them up with a brass chain and hang them from my truck's hitch ball. They were decent, one piece of octo smushed inside some minced fish filler putty and deep fried. The bonito flakes didn't really do their wavy dance because of all the sweet sauce and kewpie mayo on it cooled it down before it got to the table. I don't get why the really bad iceberg lettuce salad was on the plate.
Yakisoba. WTF is this... Did they find this in the trash? A hobo would think twice about eating this. This was pretty rank. All the veggies were frozen. I mean like Kroger frozen veggies in the bag. You know how frozen broccoli stems taste after you nuke it? Waterlogged and freezer burned. This dish was a total failure.
Tonkotsu Ramen. Pretty much the same thing at the original Duluth location minus the soft boiled egg. The instant broth tastes just too packaged, watery and bland. It just doesn't have the collagen/gelatin or the rich complexity that you find in a real homemade tonkotsu broth. I like that they use the straight noodles vs the curly. It is a contender for the best tonkotsu in this town? Fuck no, but when you are really jonsing for a fix and don't want to drive all over town and it's available all day unlike some places that is only available one day for a couple of hours because it's hip, this will do... If you're really desperate, on meth or oblivious, of course. I got the spicy version but had them put the chili paste on the side. I wanted to do a taste test between the two.
After chili paste. Still not spicy enough. But here's something for the future... There's a combo meal on there, they don't push it or suggest it, but you can get a choice of ramen, a rice dish and a salad. Too, bad I saw it too late because that's basically what I ordered in full portions at full price. I'm sure they're a way smaller portion... But that woulda been fine with me because most of it went to waste.
Spicy Pork Donburi. Big heaping portion of crap in a bowl... Pork bits were ok but not spicy enough. It's not that great but it will definitely fill you up. It lacks character, overall, POWs had better rice bowls. Ok, it's not that bad but it wasn't great either, it's very Panda Express-esque.
The one thing I do miss from the Duluth location is their gianormous tonkatsu... That was their best shit, I really liked their tonkatsu. Sadly, they don't have it down here. The ramen bowls and rice bowls were ok I guess, I mean you really can't complain about this too much (unless you're the pouch) with it being conveniently located in town. If I ever get drunk enough up in this piece, I might be tempted to be triple dog dared into going next door for some bootilicious action.
810 Marietta St
Atlanta, GA 30318
(404) 500-1908
http://www.rakuramen.com/
But anyways, Raku had the balls to come to hood and dreamed the dream of cheekans gone fried, when dopes were high, and wives worth beating, dreamed that Dancers Elite would never die, dreamed that Pouch would be forgiving... So, let's take a few bites and hopefully they aren't as Les Miserables as some would speculate. Ok, that some would be me.
Takoyaki. Octopus balls. They were similar to the ones at their original location... Large. I kinda wanted to string them up with a brass chain and hang them from my truck's hitch ball. They were decent, one piece of octo smushed inside some minced fish filler putty and deep fried. The bonito flakes didn't really do their wavy dance because of all the sweet sauce and kewpie mayo on it cooled it down before it got to the table. I don't get why the really bad iceberg lettuce salad was on the plate.
Yakisoba. WTF is this... Did they find this in the trash? A hobo would think twice about eating this. This was pretty rank. All the veggies were frozen. I mean like Kroger frozen veggies in the bag. You know how frozen broccoli stems taste after you nuke it? Waterlogged and freezer burned. This dish was a total failure.
Tonkotsu Ramen. Pretty much the same thing at the original Duluth location minus the soft boiled egg. The instant broth tastes just too packaged, watery and bland. It just doesn't have the collagen/gelatin or the rich complexity that you find in a real homemade tonkotsu broth. I like that they use the straight noodles vs the curly. It is a contender for the best tonkotsu in this town? Fuck no, but when you are really jonsing for a fix and don't want to drive all over town and it's available all day unlike some places that is only available one day for a couple of hours because it's hip, this will do... If you're really desperate, on meth or oblivious, of course. I got the spicy version but had them put the chili paste on the side. I wanted to do a taste test between the two.
After chili paste. Still not spicy enough. But here's something for the future... There's a combo meal on there, they don't push it or suggest it, but you can get a choice of ramen, a rice dish and a salad. Too, bad I saw it too late because that's basically what I ordered in full portions at full price. I'm sure they're a way smaller portion... But that woulda been fine with me because most of it went to waste.
Spicy Pork Donburi. Big heaping portion of crap in a bowl... Pork bits were ok but not spicy enough. It's not that great but it will definitely fill you up. It lacks character, overall, POWs had better rice bowls. Ok, it's not that bad but it wasn't great either, it's very Panda Express-esque.
The one thing I do miss from the Duluth location is their gianormous tonkatsu... That was their best shit, I really liked their tonkatsu. Sadly, they don't have it down here. The ramen bowls and rice bowls were ok I guess, I mean you really can't complain about this too much (unless you're the pouch) with it being conveniently located in town. If I ever get drunk enough up in this piece, I might be tempted to be triple dog dared into going next door for some bootilicious action.
810 Marietta St
Atlanta, GA 30318
(404) 500-1908
http://www.rakuramen.com/
Friday, November 15, 2013
Paper Plane
The Victory crew know their shit. They know their demographics. They know their product. And they know how to deliver that product well. But what about doing a more upscale joint, not fine dining by any means, but something more refined than their tasty sandwiches and frozen boozy slushies... That's where this place comes in. The space is not big but their cocktail menu is bold. The cocktails are well made, I can vouch for that since I have some experience in drinking, a lot... Not that anyone notices. But what about the menu? Sometimes you just don't want a sandwich and crave something more substantial... Time to take a few bites.
Octopus Terrine. My eyeballs focused right on the word octopus and it was on. Octo tentacles were tender and not chewy at all which surprised me. Good job on this dish.
Cauliflower Soup. Velvety and soothing on a chilly night to prevent colds. Helps coat the throat, good for broads that like culinary oral pleasures... Or fellatio, which is a good thing, too.
Lamb Belly. Inhaled this lamb pouch up in like 5 seconds. Belly melts in your mouth. Very tasty dish. Pouch inside pouch happy. I'm like a haggis.
Brussels Sprouts. I know kale is the big hard-on for restos these days but I still lurv me some simple, roasted sprouts.. Good stuff.
Pavlova. Very interesting that they are doing this obscure dessert... But I like it that they are. These guys are always surprising people with the little things.
There's a lot of hipsters flocking to this cozy joint to see and be seen but the drinks are what I come here for but the food is pretty damn good as well... I have to come back for steak night and more cocktails of course.
340 Church St
Decatur, GA 30030
404-377-9308
http://www.the-paper-plane.com/
Octopus Terrine. My eyeballs focused right on the word octopus and it was on. Octo tentacles were tender and not chewy at all which surprised me. Good job on this dish.
Cauliflower Soup. Velvety and soothing on a chilly night to prevent colds. Helps coat the throat, good for broads that like culinary oral pleasures... Or fellatio, which is a good thing, too.
Lamb Belly. Inhaled this lamb pouch up in like 5 seconds. Belly melts in your mouth. Very tasty dish. Pouch inside pouch happy. I'm like a haggis.
Brussels Sprouts. I know kale is the big hard-on for restos these days but I still lurv me some simple, roasted sprouts.. Good stuff.
Pavlova. Very interesting that they are doing this obscure dessert... But I like it that they are. These guys are always surprising people with the little things.
There's a lot of hipsters flocking to this cozy joint to see and be seen but the drinks are what I come here for but the food is pretty damn good as well... I have to come back for steak night and more cocktails of course.
340 Church St
Decatur, GA 30030
404-377-9308
http://www.the-paper-plane.com/
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Kimball House
Holy fucking hipster central... All aboard!
Too bad it was filled with fat old rude wannabe hipsters 46 years too late. Ok, it wasn't that bad but it only takes a couple of selfish lardasses gorging on cases of oysters that decided to take up 4 stools all to themselves to ruin a nicely made cocktail I was trying to enjoy at the bar. I understand that you're obeast but do you really need to consume all the oysters... Along with the seating equipment, too? I do not want to be the server that has to push their stools in.
Once we got our table (the back corner booth, fucking rockstar!), the serenity now I was chanting over and over again began to kick in like a fat bald headed troll. Namaste, bitches, I win. Now, let's take a looksie at the menu and grab a few bites and a couple mo' cocktails.
Oysters. Hollywood, Stingray, Peters Point. They definitely have the best oyster selection (dozen+ varieties) in town... And the prices to show for it. But they do have a oyster special on the weekdays for a couple hours. Take advantage of that when you can and often. The best, Jerry. The best... Oysters in town.
Mussels Escabeche. Sounded better on paper. It wasn't bad but it was pretty sad visually. A few smallish mussels laying there like dead Sea Monkeys. Unfortunately, it was pretty tasteless, too. This ain't no escabeche.
Duck Mortadella. The color of the duck flaps seemed a bit pale... Kinda like the cheap mechanically separated chicken FMV (for mexican value) bologna you get at Food Lion. But after tonguing this duck flap around a couple times, I got the hang of it and enjoyed it very much. The bush on top was nicely trimmed and dressed baby kale. Tasty poon.
Chinese Sausage. I swore for a minute that they were using Asian store bought Chinese sausages (nothing wrong with store bought ones, they are actually pretty kickass)... But after tasting their version, it was the real deal. To make it officially an unthreatening ethnic dish to not scare off any round-eyes, they threw some salad people can identify on top. Not a grain of rice or soy sauce bottle in sight. It was a cute dish.
Brussels Sprouts. Shaved brussels sprouts with lardon and pimento puree thinger. This was very tasty. Portion too small for the pouch. Need another cocktail, STAT.
Overall observations: Cocktails are good. Food is good. Parking sucks. Fat people are jiggly. Cougars were prowling and sad no one was taking the bait, had to pay their own tab. Old ceiling belt fans were groovy. Pouch was pleasantly pleased with this joint.
Be back in two and two with Chuck, real soon.
303 E Howard Ave
Decatur, GA 30030
(404) 378-3502
http://cargocollective.com/kimballhouse
Too bad it was filled with fat old rude wannabe hipsters 46 years too late. Ok, it wasn't that bad but it only takes a couple of selfish lardasses gorging on cases of oysters that decided to take up 4 stools all to themselves to ruin a nicely made cocktail I was trying to enjoy at the bar. I understand that you're obeast but do you really need to consume all the oysters... Along with the seating equipment, too? I do not want to be the server that has to push their stools in.
Once we got our table (the back corner booth, fucking rockstar!), the serenity now I was chanting over and over again began to kick in like a fat bald headed troll. Namaste, bitches, I win. Now, let's take a looksie at the menu and grab a few bites and a couple mo' cocktails.
Oysters. Hollywood, Stingray, Peters Point. They definitely have the best oyster selection (dozen+ varieties) in town... And the prices to show for it. But they do have a oyster special on the weekdays for a couple hours. Take advantage of that when you can and often. The best, Jerry. The best... Oysters in town.
Mussels Escabeche. Sounded better on paper. It wasn't bad but it was pretty sad visually. A few smallish mussels laying there like dead Sea Monkeys. Unfortunately, it was pretty tasteless, too. This ain't no escabeche.
Duck Mortadella. The color of the duck flaps seemed a bit pale... Kinda like the cheap mechanically separated chicken FMV (for mexican value) bologna you get at Food Lion. But after tonguing this duck flap around a couple times, I got the hang of it and enjoyed it very much. The bush on top was nicely trimmed and dressed baby kale. Tasty poon.
Chinese Sausage. I swore for a minute that they were using Asian store bought Chinese sausages (nothing wrong with store bought ones, they are actually pretty kickass)... But after tasting their version, it was the real deal. To make it officially an unthreatening ethnic dish to not scare off any round-eyes, they threw some salad people can identify on top. Not a grain of rice or soy sauce bottle in sight. It was a cute dish.
Brussels Sprouts. Shaved brussels sprouts with lardon and pimento puree thinger. This was very tasty. Portion too small for the pouch. Need another cocktail, STAT.
Overall observations: Cocktails are good. Food is good. Parking sucks. Fat people are jiggly. Cougars were prowling and sad no one was taking the bait, had to pay their own tab. Old ceiling belt fans were groovy. Pouch was pleasantly pleased with this joint.
Be back in two and two with Chuck, real soon.
303 E Howard Ave
Decatur, GA 30030
(404) 378-3502
http://cargocollective.com/kimballhouse
Monday, November 11, 2013
Miso Horny
Not much to say about this joint that hasn't been said already. The sooshee is borderline, the izakaya is creative, the tonkotsu ramen is crave-worthy and the cocktails are well made. Here is some porn that will get your blood flowing more than your well seasoned beat off material. Pump pump...
Old-Fashioned. BOOM!
Tonkotsu Ramen. POW!
Crab Chawan Mushi. WOW!
Soft Shell Crab Bun. WHAMM!
Shoyu Tamago. ZWAPP!
Curry Tonkatsu. KRUNCH!
Miso's tonkotsu ramen revival is still the tits... If you order this scarce bowl of swine bosom nectar, make sure you hacks slurp it all up because I saw a few bowls of unfinished broth that made me cry. That is sacrilegious and I told Guy to kick anyone in the sack if y'all don't finish it all up next time. That goes for the broads, too. Don't give me that excuse about being fat, you will get kicked in your internal balls. It's an insult if you do not finish the time consuming broth. So, just don't fucking do it.
Thank you and come again... Squirt.
Old-Fashioned. BOOM!
Tonkotsu Ramen. POW!
Crab Chawan Mushi. WOW!
Soft Shell Crab Bun. WHAMM!
Shoyu Tamago. ZWAPP!
Curry Tonkatsu. KRUNCH!
Miso's tonkotsu ramen revival is still the tits... If you order this scarce bowl of swine bosom nectar, make sure you hacks slurp it all up because I saw a few bowls of unfinished broth that made me cry. That is sacrilegious and I told Guy to kick anyone in the sack if y'all don't finish it all up next time. That goes for the broads, too. Don't give me that excuse about being fat, you will get kicked in your internal balls. It's an insult if you do not finish the time consuming broth. So, just don't fucking do it.
Thank you and come again... Squirt.
I Luv Pho - Buford Hwy
The cursed space that once was inhabited by the likes of Pung Mie (more like fuck me), Ocean Villa (sleeps with da fishes), New Saigon (dead Saigon), and L&T Vietnamese Cuisine Hot Pot (kicked the pot) has suckered in another victim to play with... This time it's a player that's been in the game for awhile. So, can this veteran of Viet grub and pho specialties make it happen in this haunted location where so many pho joints come to die... Let's grab our proton packs and take a peek. Hopefully, we won't get slimed. And remember, whatever you do.. Don't cross the streams, especially, in the urinal after sucking down that gallon size extra large bowl.
Pho Dac Biet and Cha Gio. Looked pretty decent overall but looks can be deceiving. The Cha Gio were cold... Yes, colder than a JAP (Jewish American Princess if you rednecks don't know) on her honeymoon night. One bite into this flaccid skin flute and I knew that no amount of nuoc cham could get me excited for the next bite without chasing it with a little blue pill and some more nuoc mam (not knocking on your mama). The pho all the way had plenty of meats (except tripe which I luv) and meat balls which was nice to see because so many places charge extra for them manly balls. The broth was not as hot (temp) as it should be but that's not a deal breaker. The test- spoonful of the unmolested broth. While it was a clean broth (not oily), it lacked the Vietnamese bouquet garni that makes the pho broth... The star anise, cloves, cinnamon, ginger, rock sugar, lemon grass, bone marrow were barely noticeable... It lacked that savory stickiness from a well made prized broth. In the end it was only a watered down beef broth. Also, the pho and cha gio came out within seconds of ordering it. I like efficient but when it comes to good food, I don't mind waiting for it. This showed off their experience as high volume resto owners. It's not always a good thing... As evidence by their weak pho broth.
Bun with Grilled Pork and Shrimp. This is a dish that is nearly impossible to fuck up unless you're a 3 toed-sloth. Dump a ton of nuoc cham in it and you're all set to go to becoming a glutton. Decent flavors all around... A little gristly on the pork bits.
Banh Mi. Bread looks good, pretty much standard issue these days. A bit too much on the garnish filler. A bit chintzy on the grilled pork but that might be a good thing as this pork was super salty. I mean super salty to the point it was unbearable. It pretty much killed my banh mi craving which it usually takes a lot to do when it comes to the pouch's demands.
Their experience as restaurant owners may give them a better shot of sustaining their newest location where so many others have tried and failed miserably. They all got some traffic in the beginning but in the end it's the food that counts and keeps people coming back. The classic dishes I have sampled were mediocre at best and if they improve in the very near future, like today, they might get exactly that... A future.
5145 Buford Hwy
Doraville, GA 30340
770-696-1662
http://www.iluvpho.net/
Pho Dac Biet and Cha Gio. Looked pretty decent overall but looks can be deceiving. The Cha Gio were cold... Yes, colder than a JAP (Jewish American Princess if you rednecks don't know) on her honeymoon night. One bite into this flaccid skin flute and I knew that no amount of nuoc cham could get me excited for the next bite without chasing it with a little blue pill and some more nuoc mam (not knocking on your mama). The pho all the way had plenty of meats (except tripe which I luv) and meat balls which was nice to see because so many places charge extra for them manly balls. The broth was not as hot (temp) as it should be but that's not a deal breaker. The test- spoonful of the unmolested broth. While it was a clean broth (not oily), it lacked the Vietnamese bouquet garni that makes the pho broth... The star anise, cloves, cinnamon, ginger, rock sugar, lemon grass, bone marrow were barely noticeable... It lacked that savory stickiness from a well made prized broth. In the end it was only a watered down beef broth. Also, the pho and cha gio came out within seconds of ordering it. I like efficient but when it comes to good food, I don't mind waiting for it. This showed off their experience as high volume resto owners. It's not always a good thing... As evidence by their weak pho broth.
Bun with Grilled Pork and Shrimp. This is a dish that is nearly impossible to fuck up unless you're a 3 toed-sloth. Dump a ton of nuoc cham in it and you're all set to go to becoming a glutton. Decent flavors all around... A little gristly on the pork bits.
Banh Mi. Bread looks good, pretty much standard issue these days. A bit too much on the garnish filler. A bit chintzy on the grilled pork but that might be a good thing as this pork was super salty. I mean super salty to the point it was unbearable. It pretty much killed my banh mi craving which it usually takes a lot to do when it comes to the pouch's demands.
Their experience as restaurant owners may give them a better shot of sustaining their newest location where so many others have tried and failed miserably. They all got some traffic in the beginning but in the end it's the food that counts and keeps people coming back. The classic dishes I have sampled were mediocre at best and if they improve in the very near future, like today, they might get exactly that... A future.
5145 Buford Hwy
Doraville, GA 30340
770-696-1662
http://www.iluvpho.net/
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Taka
Taka kicks ass on his sushi menu and now, he has created an izakaya menu, too... And near me. But it's tough to have a great sushi resto and do great izakaya at the same time. There isn't enough skillz to pay da bills on both front with a skeleton crew. Shoya is the only joint barely ITP that excels in both... Well, compared to other comps in this city, there is no competition because they have a more diverse staff. Time to check out what Taka is slinging on that izakaya menu. If it is as good as his sushi menu, we're in for a treat.
Ankimo. If I see this on the menu, it's on like donkey balls... In this case, I quiver for monkfish liver. This was silky and velvety which makes it going down much easier because no one wants to gag in public. The flavor, texture and consistency was spot on. The ponzu sauce, not so much... It tasted like diluted rusty pipe water, why Taka, why so chintzy for a squirt of full power ponzu? You can make that shit in yo sleeps.
Oxtail Tofu Broth. Oh yeah, this was good. That is some comfy grub. Makes me wanna snuggle after pouring a gallon of this heavenly golden shower down my throat. This is the kinda of water sport I can get used to on a regular basis.
Tonkatsu.Why didn't anyone pound this pork? First off, who doesn't like to pound pork? This was just a thick piece of boneless pork chop coated with panko and deep fried... WTF? How lazy can you be? If you don't pound that hog, it gets too chewy after frying it for too long just trying to cook it through. And this sure was chewy. If I wanted to chew for 5 minzies on a single piece, I woulda gotten a pouch of Big League Chew from the gas station next door. C'mon, bro, don't die on me. The Japanese mustard was nice but a bit grainy, though.
Tonkotsu Ramen. The holiest of holies. The test of a true massa. I was giddy as a titillated school girl. But why are there so many oil globulars floating around? Took a spoonful of the tonko broth... Damn, WTF is this? It had zero jizzlobbing stickiness to it = no collagen. None. I'm disappointed already. The 2 small pieces of pork were boring, the egg was standard issue, but the ramen noodles were nicely cooked and toothy (yes, I get to use toothy again!). This bowl of tonkotsu ramen was a grade D, it would have failed if it wasn't for the noodles. Ugh, I hate that this place is pushing this out just because it thinks it has to because of the competition. If they put out a ramen burger, I'm gonna go Newtown. Serio, bro, you need to amp up this broth if you wanna call it a tonkotsu.
Yakisoba. Where is the sizzler hot plate? You can't have yakisoba on a regular old dusty plate. It needs to be sizzling and caramelizing all the tidbits. It was so greasy and barely edible. I could not believe this even left the kitchen. What's with the noodle dishes here?
Spider Roll. I'm a sucker for this every time. A SUCKA, I say. It was a tasty version but somehow it really didn't wow me like some other places do. I usually can still taste it a couple days later from memory if it was a craveworthy one but I was shooting blanks on this callinectes-centipede. It was far from garbage but y'all know what I'm saying. He needs to tweak this a bit, it was just too plain Jane. Could be my fault for ordering a roll... Cuz I'm a sucka.
I don't know if a good sushi chef is out of his realm on cooked dishes but the izakaya dishes I tried were mostly lacking and forgettable. Don't write this place off because I still love the sushi here, he does a great job on the raw stuff... It's just this silly izakaya stunt he's pulling that's making me worry. I guess it's kinda like Miso Izakaya, no one goes for the sooshee there, but the izakaya/cooked dishes are what you crave and go there for... Now, with molecules!
Bottomline: Go to Taka for the sushi, skip the rest... For now.
75 Pharr Rd NE
Atlanta, GA 30305
404-869-2802
http://www.takasushiatlanta.com/
Ankimo. If I see this on the menu, it's on like donkey balls... In this case, I quiver for monkfish liver. This was silky and velvety which makes it going down much easier because no one wants to gag in public. The flavor, texture and consistency was spot on. The ponzu sauce, not so much... It tasted like diluted rusty pipe water, why Taka, why so chintzy for a squirt of full power ponzu? You can make that shit in yo sleeps.
Oxtail Tofu Broth. Oh yeah, this was good. That is some comfy grub. Makes me wanna snuggle after pouring a gallon of this heavenly golden shower down my throat. This is the kinda of water sport I can get used to on a regular basis.
Tonkatsu.Why didn't anyone pound this pork? First off, who doesn't like to pound pork? This was just a thick piece of boneless pork chop coated with panko and deep fried... WTF? How lazy can you be? If you don't pound that hog, it gets too chewy after frying it for too long just trying to cook it through. And this sure was chewy. If I wanted to chew for 5 minzies on a single piece, I woulda gotten a pouch of Big League Chew from the gas station next door. C'mon, bro, don't die on me. The Japanese mustard was nice but a bit grainy, though.
Tonkotsu Ramen. The holiest of holies. The test of a true massa. I was giddy as a titillated school girl. But why are there so many oil globulars floating around? Took a spoonful of the tonko broth... Damn, WTF is this? It had zero jizzlobbing stickiness to it = no collagen. None. I'm disappointed already. The 2 small pieces of pork were boring, the egg was standard issue, but the ramen noodles were nicely cooked and toothy (yes, I get to use toothy again!). This bowl of tonkotsu ramen was a grade D, it would have failed if it wasn't for the noodles. Ugh, I hate that this place is pushing this out just because it thinks it has to because of the competition. If they put out a ramen burger, I'm gonna go Newtown. Serio, bro, you need to amp up this broth if you wanna call it a tonkotsu.
Yakisoba. Where is the sizzler hot plate? You can't have yakisoba on a regular old dusty plate. It needs to be sizzling and caramelizing all the tidbits. It was so greasy and barely edible. I could not believe this even left the kitchen. What's with the noodle dishes here?
Spider Roll. I'm a sucker for this every time. A SUCKA, I say. It was a tasty version but somehow it really didn't wow me like some other places do. I usually can still taste it a couple days later from memory if it was a craveworthy one but I was shooting blanks on this callinectes-centipede. It was far from garbage but y'all know what I'm saying. He needs to tweak this a bit, it was just too plain Jane. Could be my fault for ordering a roll... Cuz I'm a sucka.
I don't know if a good sushi chef is out of his realm on cooked dishes but the izakaya dishes I tried were mostly lacking and forgettable. Don't write this place off because I still love the sushi here, he does a great job on the raw stuff... It's just this silly izakaya stunt he's pulling that's making me worry. I guess it's kinda like Miso Izakaya, no one goes for the sooshee there, but the izakaya/cooked dishes are what you crave and go there for... Now, with molecules!
Bottomline: Go to Taka for the sushi, skip the rest... For now.
75 Pharr Rd NE
Atlanta, GA 30305
404-869-2802
http://www.takasushiatlanta.com/
Monday, November 4, 2013
The Morning After Pouch
I rarely do breakfast and I certainly don't do brunch because I'm not one of those yentas from Sex and the City. But what I would do early in the morning is fried chicken. Shit, I can do fried chicken anytime, who am I kidding. If I could marry it I would but I have had taken it on a honeymoon or two... Ok, many times. Yeah, I'm a whore for fried chicken. Some like to have orgies in questionable places like in the bathrooms at Halo, but I like to have them in my mouth. That's not weird, I swear. Ok, mebbe a little.
I had the hankering for some fatty goodness... And nothing says fatty goodness than fried chicken biscuits smothered in sausage gravy after a night of heavy drankin'. Hillbillies fuckin' lurv this shit, I had to see what all the fuss was about at a few popular local joints, old and new.
Home Grown.
This place is a gold mine for a reason. Shit is guud, y'all. Time for a revisit and wait for an hour for a seat to eat breakfast food. Totally worth it.
Comfy Chicken Biscuit. Look at it... Who wouldn't love this? I like their style... Ladling a giant scoop of that gravy gold haphazardly on top and get it out on the fly before a fat kid starts crying like a prepubescent bitch. Crispy juicy chick sleeping on top of a pillowy biscuit and peeking out from under that sausage gravy blanket... Makes me wanna put in some snuggle time with this chippy. But this chick will have to snuggle with my pouch instead.
Eggs Benedict w/ Whole Hog Sausage. Poached eggs are prolly the only breakfast things I would actually pay for in a resto because it takes too much effort to do it at home (not really but I'm just lazy to go through the setup at home). This dish was totally acceptable, not the best eggs benny but totally worth trying. The only problem was that one of the eggs was fully cooked through and the other runny like it should be. I'll let it slide this time but it better be runny like a lactose intolerant South East Asian next time or else... Oh wait, that didn't come out right... Or maybe it did. Squirt.
Cheekan Biscuit. Pretty standard piece of fried boneless breast. A no frills, bells or whistle kinda specimen. Sometimes, plain and simple is the way to go. The biscuit and gravy that I accidentally used will be discussed more in the next segment... But the fried chicken was pretty tasty overall.
Grilled Corned Beef Hash. The food cost of this plate has gotta be somewhere between 25 cents and a buck O' seven... Depends on which day you order this. Slightly on the higher range on the weekends because they open more cans of hash for the weekend rush. The 2 spoonfuls of corned beef hash was straight from a bulk sized can of Aldi's Brookdale best. Every part of a pig that is not fit for canine consumption can be had on this plate. The eggs over easy as requested were spot on with classic yellow tint of grease flowing underneath it. The gravy... Oh, dear, the gravy. Nothing says comfy snuggle under a warm blanket feeling than a gravy where the flour is barely cooked through, tacky, pasty and unseasoned except for the black pepper specks. For a place that is built on grease, this gravy had no evidence of it. No self-respecting Southerner would fix gravy without lard and/or animal grease.
Biscuits. Well, that's what they're calling them... They were more like yeasty dinner rolls than fluffy delicate biscuits. Sometimes, I use sliced white bread if I run out of hot dog buns but I don't call them hot dog buns. I know the clientele here doesn't exact have 20/20 vision but one look you know those aren't southern biscuits.
Syrupy Pancake. Oh, fuck yeah they were... Only after dousing it with the travel size Aunt Jemima peel and pour plastic tubs. I like it that you can do a single order of pancake because I have to save room for the other bowel lubing short order magic.
I had the hankering for some fatty goodness... And nothing says fatty goodness than fried chicken biscuits smothered in sausage gravy after a night of heavy drankin'. Hillbillies fuckin' lurv this shit, I had to see what all the fuss was about at a few popular local joints, old and new.
Home Grown.
This place is a gold mine for a reason. Shit is guud, y'all. Time for a revisit and wait for an hour for a seat to eat breakfast food. Totally worth it.
Comfy Chicken Biscuit. Look at it... Who wouldn't love this? I like their style... Ladling a giant scoop of that gravy gold haphazardly on top and get it out on the fly before a fat kid starts crying like a prepubescent bitch. Crispy juicy chick sleeping on top of a pillowy biscuit and peeking out from under that sausage gravy blanket... Makes me wanna put in some snuggle time with this chippy. But this chick will have to snuggle with my pouch instead.
French Toast Sandwich. Luther Vandross wishes he thought this up first but he'll just have to settle for his doughnut burger. Chicks will definitely order this because it's a cute sandwich... But prolly not the fat chicks. They like their protein and they want it now... Like meatloaf. MA! The meatloaf, we want it now! The grits were creamy and dreamy... That's beautiful, what is that velvet?
I would say run don't walk to this joint but everyone already has.
968 Memorial Dr SE
Atlanta, GA 30316
(404) 222-0455
Folk Art.
Wisteria's new little southern joint is artsy, folky and tasty.
Folk Southern Fried. Rule #1 to sausage gravy... Never skimp on it. And that goes for rule #2 and #3, too. The sausage gravy was really good but they don't give enough of it. The ratio between the fried egg, fried chicken and 2 giant square pieces of biscuits was just too overwhelming for a couple of spoonfuls of that dericious gravy. The manager asked how it was, I said good but it needed more gravy... So, he gave me a bottle of Sriracha. WTF, yo. I liked this dish a lot, the only weird thing was that the biscuits were in a corn bread, polenta kinda format from a hotel pan. Not bad at all but not a true biscuit.
Banana Nut Foster Waffles. Sounded great on paper but it was a little disappointing. It wasn't bad, it was tasty in fact but just a bit plain Jane across the board. Expected a little more pow and wow. I guess it is what it is. It was a waffle after all.
Definitely will come back and try the lunch/dinner stuff. The sriracha stunt still makes me laugh.
465 North Highland Ave NE
Atlanta, GA 30307
(404) 537-4493
Silver Skillet.
They don't call it the Silver Skillet for nothing.. It's been around since Ben Franklin discovered electricity. Speaking of old... Some silver hair almost started a fist fight with some wiseass whipper snapper because he was blocking the front door. I would not start a fight with Irving Zisman because he might throw his pair of soiled Depends at me. That's one badass grandpa. I'm a eater not a fighter... And the pouch needs cheekan now.
Grilled Corned Beef Hash. The food cost of this plate has gotta be somewhere between 25 cents and a buck O' seven... Depends on which day you order this. Slightly on the higher range on the weekends because they open more cans of hash for the weekend rush. The 2 spoonfuls of corned beef hash was straight from a bulk sized can of Aldi's Brookdale best. Every part of a pig that is not fit for canine consumption can be had on this plate. The eggs over easy as requested were spot on with classic yellow tint of grease flowing underneath it. The gravy... Oh, dear, the gravy. Nothing says comfy snuggle under a warm blanket feeling than a gravy where the flour is barely cooked through, tacky, pasty and unseasoned except for the black pepper specks. For a place that is built on grease, this gravy had no evidence of it. No self-respecting Southerner would fix gravy without lard and/or animal grease.
Biscuits. Well, that's what they're calling them... They were more like yeasty dinner rolls than fluffy delicate biscuits. Sometimes, I use sliced white bread if I run out of hot dog buns but I don't call them hot dog buns. I know the clientele here doesn't exact have 20/20 vision but one look you know those aren't southern biscuits.
Syrupy Pancake. Oh, fuck yeah they were... Only after dousing it with the travel size Aunt Jemima peel and pour plastic tubs. I like it that you can do a single order of pancake because I have to save room for the other bowel lubing short order magic.
Is the food really that good? No, not really but when you come here you're buying the history, experience and ambiance of this Atlanta institution.
200 14th St NW
Atlanta, GA 30318
(404) 874-1388
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