H. Harper Station

When this old train station was reported to become a restaurant/bar called The Depot back in the beginning of 2008, people seemed pretty stoked about it... But the location sucked ass. It felt like it was in no man's land. It stood there alone like a red-headed stepchild being punished for putting chocolate pudding in his sister's underpants. Soon, this problem child was sent away to boarding school. The food and service at The Depot was mediocre at best, that was prolly their kiss of death. I still remember the cast iron pan that the "seafood pan roast" was served in still had the sticker on the bottom. They didn't even cook it in it, simply poured into the stone cold cast iron pan.

But fast forward a couple years later and H. Harper Station was born... Have they over come the curse of the Depot? Yes. No. Maybe. They're usually pretty slow all week long but with the help of Scoutmob, they saw an infusion of brisk business for the week but it seemed short lived at best. Here's a couple quick take aways and observations on why they may kick the can if they do not turn their business model around...

First, the valet... The fucking valet. Hate to break it to you but it's a bar first and then a restaurant and you're in Reynoldstown. Fucking Reynoldstown, not Buckhead. When did fucking hipsters use valet? What dumb fuck thought of this great idea... And don't give me that "it's for the safety of our patrons" sham. These two valets couldn't rescue a kitten from a cardboard box. Hey, I heard Clermont Lounge is getting valet, too...

Second, the host stand... How many hostesses do they need at that tiny podium? They were like two chickens with their heads cut off. The number one thing you do as a host when a customer comes in is to GREET them, not walk away. I stood there for a good 5 minutes before any acknowledgment. Oh, I'm sorry, did I forget to take off my cape of invisibility? Bollocks.

Eh, let's just forget about all that shit and get to the meat and potatoes...

Chicken Livers - These little fried beauties were a Godsend after my last absolutely dismal memory of the fried chicken livers at HD1. These were chunky pieces of liver with a nice crispy crust. The cheap Crystal hot sauce does no justice for them, use Frank's at least. The blue cheese dressing was just plain awful, tasteless and bland. But with livers this tasty who needs that other shit.

Sapelo Island Clams - Pleasant surprise with this dish, the clams were good size and not rubbery. The broth was neither spicy nor cidery. The charred corn were not. The octopus was a nice added touch. With a some tweaking this could be a keeper.


Bacon & Egg Fettucini - A carbonara wannabe. Pasta was a bit undercooked but I liked the effort with the semi fresh noodle. The dish needed seasoning but overall a decent dish but yet not really that exciting.


The Beltline Burger - The Painted Hills Pasture beef was cooked medium as a house rule. Why even boast about where the fuck it came from when you can't even cook it to temp. With that quality of beef there's no other way to cook it than medium rare/rare. It's almost a disgrace... But overall the burger was acceptable with a pink center. The frozen brown bag tater tots were dismal... This isn't the Nook is it?

The service was friendly and attentive once you finally get seated but drinks and food take awhile to get out. The bartenders are talented but watching them work is like watching a round of musical chairs. They were all over the place, back and forth. Here's an idea, set up a couple barkeep stations on either end so no one is stepping on each others feet. The kitchen is on the right track but still got a long ways to go. They need to taste, taste and taste. With a fancy valet program out front, you would expect more from a bar.

2 Stars.

904 Memorial Drive Southeast
Atlanta, GA 30316

(678) 732-0415

http://www.hharperstation.com/

Pho 24 (Norcross)

The Pho scene in Atlanta was scarce once but now it can be had all over Buford Highway or anywhere that the Orientals habitat. People always ask me who has the best Pho and since I'm part of the tribe, I usually tell them they're all about the same pretty much nowadays. There's a couple that may still be a little bit better but the consistency is... Well, not consistent. But who gives a shit... Pho is hangover grub. And we all know that when you're hungover as fuck, taste and complexity of the flavors of the broth is not first on your agenda. Filling that drunk ass gut of yours is.

So, this is the second location of the Pho 24 on Buford Hwy that took over the short lived Cao Dao spot (which also entertained Bamboo Grill and Hot Pot, Pho Pasteur, Pho Tan Tan, et al). That space has been the kiss of death for Pho restos and Pho 24 may be it's next victim since their food was nothing to write home about. But how is this location in Norcross doing? Let's take a bite shall we?

Banh Mi (Grilled Pork) - The grilled pork had a funky look to it, not the standard issued one we're all used to. It was too moist, no evidence that it was grilled. The bread was a little too hard like it was a couple days old. The Do Chua- pickled carrots/daikon needed a little more kick, they were bland. And they left out the jalapenos... WTF! Not that it woulda helped much. If you're still fucked up, it'll do.

Pho (Dac Biet) - One look at the broth and it was suspect. One taste of the broth and suspicions confirmed. Not as instant as So Ba but tasted like a mix of home brewed and cubed. It didn't have that stickiness to it that only the collagen from the oxtails can provide. A middling example of the standard ATL Pho but it'll hit the spot for the FUBAR'd. They do give you a hefty portion of meat though.


Cha Gio - Crispy and hot. Nothing better than fresh outta da fryer. The filler was passable.


Hu Tiu Ap Chao - I don't even know if this is a real dish but supposedly, the owner/chef's fav... Pan fried noodles cut up in wedges like a pizza and a bunch of crap dumped in the middle. You got squid, beef, shrimp, veggies and chicken (menu said pork but who's gonna know) like in a bad American-Chino Happy Family combo meal. It was amateurish at best... But a drunkard's best friend.

The service was sporadic and the language barrier could be a problem for some... But if you speak drunkenese and point your dirty nose picking fingaz at the pics, it's all good. This place ain't gonna win any awards but for cheap, fill yer belly grub... It'll do its biznaz and then you can do yours in their bathroom.

Splash.

1 Star.

1210 Rockbridge Road

Atlanta, GA 30093

(678) 380-1550
http://www.pho24atlanta.com/

Cibo E Beve

Looks like the new trend (well, revisited trend again and again) is Italian-inspired this and that in the Detroit of the South. I mean, hell, even Sioux City, Iowa became a real city when they got their first taste of a Tuscany Inspired Italian restaurant... The Olive Garden. But anyways, Italian cuisine from cardboard pizza to spaghetti with jar sauces is usually pretty lame across the nation. Too many chains and franchises created the universal image of what Italian food should be (creamy, saucy, heavy and salty)... Just like how PF Chang's and Panda Express has fucked Chinese food up the ass with their shit. That's just wrong, even if we're so close to Pride weekend. But nevermind all that... I'm not here to kiss ass or whatever you guys do with it, my Engrish is not that good. I'm here to eat some decent interpretations of Eyetalian grubbery...

So, the people from Food 101 from the other end of this strip mall came up with this cozy "eataly" idea anchoring on the other end. Let me tell ya, thank God that Crown & Anchor shithole is gone... It was absolutely dismal, makes you wanna slit your wrists the hard way, with a Norelco electric razor.

Ok, back to this joint...

(Roasted Oysters “casino style”)

Look at all the purdy rocks and pebbles on the plate... Too bad the oysters were basically non-existent as were the flavors except for the bits of Bac~O's. Less than half a bite each. Worth $10? Not by a long shot. Skip this and go for the ubiquitous fried calamari instead. I can't believe I just said to get the calamari.

(Hamachi Crudo Salmoriglio)

Ah, something worth eating... Nice presentation but maybe a little too much of the EVOO and red caper concoction thingy on top. A little goes a long way. You don't want to drown that fish in all that funk, I would like to taste the fish flesh, yes? Us, men take so much risk when we eat out raw fish.

(Cibo Meatballs)

Lookie here... 3 lovely meat mounds! Kinda reminds me of that freaky broad on Mars in Total Recall. Nevermind. I tell ya what, that lame duck single meatball at No. 246 can't hold a candle to these beauties. Sauce is more consistent and not watery, the meatball is not dry and it actually tastes Italian. Definitely, a good choice for a starter to share. Use the bread on the table to sop up that sauce. Go.

(Lamb Belly, Anson Mills Polenta)

This could be a meal in itself... The lamb belly had crispy edges and was juicy tender in all the right places inside. Polenta is polenta, but coulda used a little splash of stock to even it out a bit, tis was a little dry. The belly was the star in this dish clearly. Nice flavor. Get it.

(Margherita)

So, the guy making the 'ZA (can't say if he was a pizzaiolo or not) looked pretty familiar. A little birdy told me he started at Varasano's then Double D's... Oops, I meant Double Zero. But anyways, the end product was literally a marriage between the two places. Crackerly crust (read: kinda dry and crispy), passable char, borderline bland sauce, and decent bufala. Not a contender with the handful of other true Napolentana 'ZA's but for the standard issued house frowl and 2.5 kids in tow, it'll do. Definitely, a been there, done that kinda 'ZA. Mebbe, one more shot...

(Risotto ai Funghi)

Not a bad risotto and not the best risotto, a very acceptable version. It lacked the flavor and aroma that the funghi usually brings to this dish. It needed to be more earthy and... wait for it... toothy. Stick to the pastas, they're a better bet.

(Lobster Spaghetti)

The much admired, lobster spaghetti! Was it as good as a threesome? Fuck no! But it was a nice foreplay dish. The pasta was obviously from a box, I couldn't tell if it was al dente or just under cooked pasta. But it did it's job on the dish. The few bites of lobster were skimpy but what do you expect? It ain't a lobster roll. Mmm, lobster roll... Ok, I'm awake. A pretty simple dish anyone college student could make in their dorm room. Not that it was bad, it was pretty satisfying.

(Bucatini)

Looks so Goddamn boring and depwessing... Buca who? Just give me a mar-tini, instead. No no, I'm just playing. It was a totally acceptable dish... If you had a choice between Chef Boyardee and this. Once again, I kid, I kid. There was suppose to be pancetta in there somewhere... Oh, there it is, pushed all the way down at the bottom and hidden from plain view, it's shy. Who doesn't like to hide the prized cured meat under a pile of orange stringy thingers. It needed something else to bring it on the table, mebbe like more texture in the sauce. Don't forget to ask for some basil on the side. Gives it color and brought out the flavor in this otherwise plain Jane dish... Made all the difference in the Sandy Springs area.

(Osso Buco D'agnello All'estate)

The best dish of the night saved for the last... It was spot on and had terrific flavor. I just kept picking at it like pigeons in Central Park... No wonder why I'm so fat. You ever see those pigeons in CP? They are fat as a muthafuck! Order this dish... You will lurv it, even if you're a veghead. Stop whining like a bitch and put it in your mouth.

(Red Velvet Zeppole)

Who doesn't like deep fried balls? Nice little presentation... And that's about it. Kinda like those plastic food dishes in the window of restos in Little Italy. These balls were way undercooked, it was doughy inside like Play-Doh. I pulled out a piece for the server to examine. Even he said "I'm no cook but it shouldn't be able to lift images off the funny pages." Ok ok, he didn't say that, I just made that shit up. But that shit was a great idea on paper... Get it? Boomcha. If you have to order these because of a triple dog dare, make sure you verbalize to the server to make sure they get cooked properly. BTW- the petri dish of what looks like Duke's 3 day old junk, turned out to be mascarpone cheez to dip your balls in it.

(Cannoli)

Mini cannoli... Shell by Sysco out front, filling by Sanchez in back. I kid, i kid, once again... They were alright. Ferrara's have nothing to worry about.

Overall, this place is very nice (decor, drinks, food were well thought out)... The cocktail list and talent behind the bar was good. My Sazerac, Biddy, and Old Fashioned all came out properly made. The only gripe I have was the ice block, great idea for chipping your own ice cube thingers but for my liver's sake... Put a barrier in front of the ice block. This nasty old sabertooth and her wooly mammoth friend were breathing and spitting all over it.

The service was attentive and pleasurable. The number of menu items is perfect for the size of this place... But the execution needs a little more work. It's the attention to details that make it taste over the top. Right now, it's just staying afloat. Which is not a bad thing... But this place can be so much more. With that said, I still like it a lot as a whole and will go back.

Burp.

3 Stars.

4969 Roswell Rd
Atlanta, GA 30342

(404) 250-8988

www.CiboAtlanta.com