Sapori di Napoli - Updated

Update:

So, I went back to try a couple more things... Well, the important things. Another 'ZA and the only available at lunch Panini's. Take a peek, peeps...

(STG, #05)

Consistency is still somewhat of an issue, along with ticket order... The last order that went to the window was somehow pushed to the front. Nothing pisses people off than waiting 45 minutes for their pie while watching the last table get their pie within 10 minutes. Forgetting the panini order is also pretty much unacceptable. Okay, okay... Nevermind that bullshit, what about the fucking 'ZA, right? Well, the STG (San Marzano, smoked bufala, speck and shrooms) was still pretty darn good. The crust was a bit pale, another 30-45 seconds coulda made the difference, I didn't notice any of the pies get the lift to the top of the dome either for those last crucial seconds of evaporating the excess liquid. But overall, it was still a good tasting pie... I seriously hope they are aware of the current status of the product and tweaking is still in order. It's getting there, though.

(Piccante Panini)

Available only during lunch (11am-3pm) are the paninis'... 5 different ones in total. The Piccante looked pretty good with smoked mozza, spicy salame and roasted pepper. The bread is made from the pizza dough... Pretty cool, but how does it taste? It was a bit dry and over cooked. It wasn't bad but I don't think I would risk it again for a pressed sandwich.

Overall, SDN is still getting their footing but all the right signs are there for a great Napoletana pie. Another couple of months is still needed like I said in the beginning but I would totally go back in between those couple of months.

Still 3.5 Stars.
_________________________________

Why even bother with the sub-par 'ZA at No. 246 when this joint is right around the corner with a real life trained pizzaiolo from Naples at the helm? This place is a no frills Napoletana pizzeria (which it should be, focus is on food not decor) with an Acunto oven as the center piece. So, what's that make it, now? 4 Acunto ovens in Atlanta? Fuck yeah!

Walking around the joint and looking for the tell tale signs of quality ingredients is always on my radar. First things' first... Da oven.

(Acunto Oven)

Simple and effective. The construction is well insulated to retain as much constant and stable heat as possible. This is key to a great pie... Well, there's a couple of different kinds of edible pie but let's stick with the 'ZA kind.

(Antimo Caputo "00" Flour)

The right way to start a proper Napoletana pie... Da "00" Caputo high protein flour. You can see and taste the difference between "00" and AP... It's obvious as the difference between my marsupial pouch and a kangaroo's. I can fit a Joey and a couple Margheritas in mine. Git in mah belly!

(La Fiammante Pa' Pizza crushed tomatoes)

Cans of this stuff were scattered all over the place. This is a good all around canned crushed tomato for regular 'ZA's and pasta dishes but I was looking for the elusive San Marzano tomatoes that is listed on menu for all their pizzas. San Marzano is required for true Napoletana 'ZA's. No exceptions. Period. Later, I find out that they keep the San Marzano tomatoes in the back. Hey, I would, too, that shit is expensive. I tried to sneak back there but Ambrogio Florio had the 1000 yard stare on me. I'm gonna give you to the count of 10, to get your ugly, yella, no-good keister off my property! Not really, but it felt like it. Haha!

(Pizze Napoletana, #07)

Can you believe this shit? I didn't order the classic Margherita! This is the Napoletana which is San Marzano tomato, anchovies, bufala, black olives. It's a good looking pie, real nice... Just look at the cornicione! For a split second, I wanted to take this sexy piece of pie in the alley and do some outlandish shit to it. Mighta been because of the smell of the anchovies. I know you want to smell my fingaz afterwards. Go ahead, knock yourself out. But remember, you can pick your fwendz and you can pick yer nose... Eh, nevermind.

(Look at the char on the cornicione)

So, how was it, you're prolly wondering... It was good, real good... But it needed a little tweaking to make it a great Napoletana pie. It was the little attention to details... Like consistent placement of the bufala, some areas had no cheese on it. You don't want to over load it with cheese but every slice should have some on it. The sauce was good but needed a little more kick to it. The crust was pretty on point (may need a tad more moisture), the char was spot on, over (lip of crust) and under (upskirt). The anchovies gave it that hint of saltiness to it and that's a good thing. The black olives (seems to be from the standard dusty old can) didn't do much for it, maybe if they used fresher olive?

Overall, it is the closest contender to Antico... With Fritti coming in third and Double Zero fourth. By month end, I will (have to) try to eat every pizze, maybe even a pizze bianco or two thrown in for good measure. The pasta dishes are prolly pretty good, too, but I'll get to that later. Lunch specials consists of paninis which looked interesting as well... But you come here for one thing really, the 'ZA.

This joint is not getting the hype it should be... Prolly because the sheep are still jerking off all over No. 246, whom's pizza is not even worth mentioning (I think they put the pizza on the menu last minute just to satisfy that void from Flour+Water's repertoire). I think in a month or two, after proper breaking in of the oven and a little adjustment to the sauce and dough, SDN will be pumping out consistently good 'ZA's day in and day out. No. 246 will be No. 86'd... Next!

Pump.

Pump.

Squirt.

PS- The Peroni umbrellas outside gave me false hope for a nice birra to go with da pie... But the 'ZA more than makes up for it.

3.5 Stars.

314 Church St
Decatur, GA 30030
(404) 371-0001

www.saporidinapolipizzeria.com/

Tsunami Taqueria

Can you believe this shit? More Goddamn Corean tacos... Stop the madness! First, you had Hankook Taqueria in that God forsaken desolate warehouse area on DeFoors which was basically created for college students and their limited F-U money budget. Then came Yumbii Korean Taco Truck spewing their funk on to the streets (well, designated private event property areas). Then, came OMG Taco in L5P which was basically created for all the dirty homeless hippie creastures that lurk in the crevices between the uprooted sidewalks. And now comes this specimen that took over the former Toulouse space. Toulouse was horrid and thanks to that piss boy, Gérard Depardieu, they finally closed after all these years, it was an insult to French cuisine. That strawberry shake thinger in a beer mug still gives me nightmares, like Strawberry Shortcake on smack.

So, how is this new Asian Latin Frankenfusion joint with the stupid name? Mixed feelings...

It had the look and feel of a college hangout... Mebbe it was because of the collegiate staff. Talk about wet behind the ears. They were not very well trained on the menu nor the bar. I see a decent home bar quality of booze, so I asked the bartender for a simple Sazerac. Her response (mind you, she's a self-proclaimed bartender), "I have no idea what that is, sorry..." Listen, Wonderbra, I was asking you for a drink, not what your name was. She said the bar manager can prolly help me, turns out the bar manager was as stumped as the bartender was. But she did say that she could make a mean Margarita, though... Hey, you gotta give credit to where credit is due. It fucking baffles the mind, even for a 5th grader. This is a story for the ages, I tells ya. Seems like the only capable thing the bar manager could handle was counting the beer inventory which she seem to spend most of her time. The incompetence level here is uncanny. Let's hope the food is much better.

There's a good bit of stuff on this menu but the more you read it, the more it sounds like the same shit with a different name. I look up towards the kitchen and see one of the fat cooks with headphones on practicing some form of popping and locking. Either he was choking and trying to signal for the Heimlich maneuver or this is the only black guy in Atlanta without rhythm. This is not a good sign. But the Tsunami Trio (2 tacos and 1 side) sounded like a good deal to sample a few main attractions. Here goes nothing and everything...

(Guacamole Fresco - Made to order guacamole with tomatoes, onions and fresh cilantro served with tortilla chips)

For the price, this was a huge heaping of guac. No doubt about it, tis was a good deal. The chunky avocado tasted freshly prepared but it had zero seasoning. It was this giant green ball of the blandlands, I had tennis balls with more flavor... The Penn balls are so choice. The lack of seasoning is an easy fix.

Asada Zing Taco- Bulgogi (Korean) marinated steak topped with shitake mushrooms, lettuce and soy-sesame vinaigrette. Nicely grilled "flour" tortillas, don't know if that's a plus or minus. The giant mount of shredded lettuce covered the entire taco, you don't know what you're eating and by then it's too late.

BBQ Short Rib- Short ribs smothered in Kogi BBQ and topped with cucumber salad. I don't know if you can call that a cucumber salad based on 4 thinly sliced cucumbers that were undressed. Short rib? You sure? Looks like it came from a can... On the same level like that burger in a can.

Roasted Corn- Canned corn, not a hint of roasted like quality, maybe it was roasted inside the can for your convenience. This fiasco tasted like college all over again.

Pacific Rim Taco- Grilled chili crusted Mahi topped with lettuce, pico de gallo and hoisen lime aioli. This Fish Called Wonder was truly a wonder, it had so much greens on it you couldn't tell if it was a Mahi Mahi or Crappie Crappie... I guess I'll find out soon. Splash.

Rising Sun Taco- Vietnamese style pork topped with Asian slaw and cilantro. Isn't the Rising Sun the symbol of the Japanese flag? Where did they come up with this quasi Vietnamese banh mi thinger from? Hold on, I got one, the Eskimo Kiss Taco... It's like Paella in a tortilla. Anyways, the chunks of pork were dried out.

Yucca Fries- It's too big... That's what the waitress said. Semi crispy outside and under-cooked inside. Nothing like cold crunchy in the center Yucca fwies. Yucca shove these sticks where the Rising Sun don't shine, pal.

Would I come back here? Maybe... And that's a big maybe. If they learn how to make more than one drink (margarita) and have meat choices that doesn't all taste the same and discernible only by looking at the menu. Maybe. This place is great for a cheap date for college kids or cheap charlies but sometimes you get what you pay for. Better yet, this place would be great for the late night booze filled crowd. You hear that TT? Change your hours to 9pm-5am. There, I just saved your biznaz. Suckaz.

1 Star.

2293 Peachtree Rd NE
Atlanta, GA 30309
(404) 963-5049
http://www.taqueriatsunami.com/

Maki Fresh

This location has gone from bad to really fucking rank. Boneheads and their Piri Piri slop was barely edible, talk about adventurous eating... It's like Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon. But this freshly minted joint gives a whole new understanding to food mockery. When you think of the best sushi in Atlanta, Ru San's, comes to mind... It's the best in Oral Pleasures. But forget all that you know that's reader's choice. There's a new champion in town for that title. What is casual Japanese dining? Is that like casual sex? But like in casual sex there are things that you just shouldn't put your mouth around or near, ever. Case in point...

All the freebies in the world for rave reviews isn't gonna change some nitwit with a half of a tongue's opinion about the culinary prowess of this menu. If this is your idea for a cheap PR gimmick, you might as well have spent that money you blew on food cost on some decent trim from the back pages of the Creative Loafing. Let's take a lookie here at this other type of dead fish...

(Kokoyashi - Ahi tuna, coconut, cucumber, scallions, lite coconut lime dressing)

Christ, what in your father's name is that? Looks like a sperm whale jacked off in it. Gives the word, smegma, a whole new meaning. Tuna was previously frozen like a caveman and defrosted... It had all the tell tale signs. No better way to mask it than cover it in jizzlobbery and call it a dressing. Wait, who fucking dresses raw tuna? It was like looking down into a public toilet. I just threw up a little in my mouth. Oh, the wakame seaweed salad was the only decent thing... Since, they didn't make it.

(Curly Q "A Maki Signature Roll" - Eel, avocado, cucumber, topped with spicy tuna)

Curly Q? Truly, aptly named... But the curlies I'm thinking about belongs downtown. Wait, so does this thing... Downtown at the Pine Street soup kitchen. This is just a frightening visual, who in their right mind would even dare to attempt to eat this unless you actually watched the Mexican't behind the cutting board make this out of discernible ingredients. Even, Steve-O involuntarily pukes at the sight of this... But he'll snort the shit outta da wasabi like there's no tomorrow.

The most disturbing thing I saw was the Tokyo Bowl aka not fried rice... So, this mook proceeds to make this wannabe fried rice thinger. Rice straight from the rice cooker and other pre-cooked ingredients go into a giant mixing bowl and gently tossed like he was in a closet Han Solo, then scraped into a serving bowl. WTF is that? That is not cooking. It's a travesty to all things living with a decent palate. Another big no no was cooking raw chicken and salmon on the same grill right next to each other... Salmonella is not a dish, douche bags.

This place has abortion written all over it. But the touch screen Coke machine was pretty rad. Just put this thing outside the store and close this dump and save the rent money... You'll make more with the soda machine alone. As for the menu... Anyone who is dumb enough to fall for this slop as "sushi/Japanese cuisine" deserves to eat this. Atlanta gets what Atlanta deserves.

Absolute garbage... And that's where it went. Publix grab-n-go sushi laughs at them.

Flush.

PS- The open kitchen was a bad move, dude. Just sayin'.

0 Star.

2349 Peachtree Rd NE
Atlanta, GA 30305
404-869-6600
http://makifresh.com/

No. 246

It's no secwet that restaurants "borrow" ideas from other restaurants. This has been going on since the dawn of the ubiquitous fried calamari on every cheesy Italian and gastropub menu. One restaurant that has been consistently ripped off over and over again is the wildly popular In-N-Out Burger in California... Yeah, yeah, I know it's not a real restaurant but my point is that people sell what works and there's the blatant cases like Fast-N-Fresh in NYC, Grab-N-Go in Maryland and Express Burger in Idaho that literally copy everything from the decor to the menu and pass it off as their own. Sometimes it works but most of the time it pales in comparison. I know what you're saying... What da fuck does this have to do with anything at No. 246? Well, everything...

Anyone who has been to the Mission district of San Francisco will think they have just walked in to Flour+Water but only you're in Atlanta. Everything here looks and feels eerily like it, but only bigger. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, especially, the menu... The pasta and 'ZA section is even titled "Flour & Water" for crying out loud. Ballsy, dude. Some pasta dishes that garnered acclaim at a NYC resto or two even made it on here. Holy moly, Michael White! Don't get me wrong, I like the look of the place. The space was built out handsomely unlike that previous Asian fusion dumpola. The place looks lovely and all that shit but I still can't get past the whole identity borrowing. Now, only if they could duplicate the taste. Speaking of which...

(Fried padron peppers, lemon, sea salt)

Deep frying these peppers naked is a bust... It turned it into tasteless baby food. On closer inspection they kinda look like an 60 year old man's ball sack... All shriveled up and wrinkly, dripping with funky liquid down it's legs. When you bite into them there's no pop... Just mushy, bland and oily. They should just roast them in the wood fire oven. Duh.

(No. 246 meatball, san marzano, basil, parmesan)

Ahhh, the 5 dolla meatball... Too bad it didn't make me holla. Not really my kinda ball of meat because it was a bit grainy, dry and lacked the classic meatball flava like how an Italian grandma makes them. The watery San Marzano sauce looked like the drippings from the bottom of the can they came in. In the beginning it was just a ball on a plate, but at least now, they've dressed it up to justify the $5 price tag for 20 cents worth of meatdust. Been there, done that. Never again.

(House-made ricotta, preserved wild mushrooms, parsley, lemon
pork rillette, grain mustard, parsley
wood oven roasted eggplant, chilies, mint)

The wooden shingle boat-like thinger that it came on was softer than the bread itself. Everyone's gums were bleeding after one bite. Shit, we're not that old for our gums to bleed eating bread... Yet. It even chipped the knife I tried to cut it with. These little tasting jars were ok, nothing crave-worthy about it that you'll want to rush back here for. The 2 slices of B&B pickles were really chintzy... Yup, I said 2 slices, 1 normal size, the other fit for a chipmunk. The rock hard bread basically ruined it, lightly toasted fresh bread is cooking 101. I took a piece home... Needed a door stop. Shhh.

(Margherita- san marzano, mozzarella, basil)

Yeah, boooyyeee!!! Until I tasted it... Zero char on the bottom, barely around the cornicione, the mozza looked really thin and watery, almost to the point it had the consistency of melted store bought thin sliced mozza from a ziplock bag. The sauce... I don't remember, it was that thrilling. The crust was dusty, crackily and dry with a few raw looking spots as if they didn't rotate it in the oven nor lifted it up to the dome. For a wood oven 'ZA, it needed a lot more work. That's too bad, I had hoped for better from these experienced cooks with their pedigree background.

(Close up of da lil Queen)

It's better than Papa John's, I'll give them that.

(Trofie- chicken liver, pork, and beef bolognese, parmesan, parsley)

Was there anything to look forward to after that dismal display of apps and 'ZA? Help me, Obiwan, you're my only hope... And the answer was YES! This pasta dish was pretty decent and redeemed itself. Pasta was cooked spot on. The meaty offal sugo (not really a bolognese) had good flava. The cheese was ricotta instead of parmesan as the menu stated... But it was all good. Nice little dish.

(Agnolotti- butternut squash, mascarpone, local mushrooms, browned butter, shaved hazelnuts)

Based on all the media hype, people were jerking off all over each other's back about this dish... I think some of it got on the plate. The pasta was cooked properly, the filling was fine, the shrooms were nice and woody, but there was sometime not right with the brown butter sauce... It was acidic and way over salted. Mebbe a few more trips to NYC are in order to get this dish right. Just sayin'... Don't believe the hype, you'll just be left disappointed. Next.

(Pork sausage rope- wood oven roasted, cherry mostarda, arugula)

Don't even get me fucking started with this visual... Eh, fuck it, you know I'll go there anyways. I swear, I saw this thing on the grass this morning when I was walking my dog. How do you not bust a gut or fart uncontrollably when this thing comes to your table. Seriously, did this come from a gag store? Anyhoo, it was similar to the meatball... Dry, grainy and lacking any fatty flavor you expect from a sausage. It was like eating sawdust. You pierce the casing and it all falls out like sand. Are they actually tasting the food during menu development? Pretty disappointing.

(Roasted beets, tarragon, sea salt)

Nice little side dish and well executed... C'mon, it's beets after all, not pizza Napoletana .

(Wood oven roasted cauliflower, sultanas, parsley, capers)

Cauliflower itself has no taste, roasting them helps but not by much. Adding a little duck or pork fat woulda made a helluva difference (screw the vegheads). Shit, even a splash of the overplayed truffle oil woulda done the trick. Or even a squeeze of lemon.

This place has all the right elements to make it a success (not that it isn't already with the steady stream of people coming in) but sometimes hype does a disservice to a place making it better than it is. When it is full, the sound level is almost unbearable as most people have complained and those giant metal lamp shades throughout the dining room does nothing to help dampen the decibels either... They're kinda useless like the Cone of Silence. The service was attentive and unintrusive. Overall, it needs a little work across the board, especially, the food execution. You might be able to get away with copying other restaurants far away from this city but you better be able to execute it flawlessly or else you'll be called out on it.

Maybe in a few months they'll get it right and be original.

2 Stars.

129 E Ponce De Leon Ave
Decatur, GA 30030
678-399-8246
http://www.no246.com/

Blue Ribbon Sushi

When you think of great sushi, the name Blue Ribbon does not come to mind. But when you're in one of the greatest food cities in the world, some of the best places are off the radar. The original Blue Ribbon down the street has been a late night oasis and destination for industry insiders for almost 20 years. BR Sushi opened a few years later in 1995 and won the hearts of New Yorkers almost instantly... And in 2011, they're still kicking ass and taking names.

The menu is extensive and the fish is among the best and freshest in the city. The decor is simple chic and elegant... But you come here for one thing and one thing only, amazing fucking fish. I came by for a quick snack before my next culinary destination. I know you wished you did, too.

(No signage)

You're SOL if you don't know where it is or walk passed it. More fish for me, suckaz!

(Sushi bar)

The sushi bar is relatively small and behind it is commanded by 4 kick ass sushi chefs working elbow to elbow. How they didn't kill each other with their Yanagi knives I don't know because that shit was tight back there. Every dish that I saw come out looked better one after another. I smell fucking trouble for my wallet. Hold me back!

(Aoyagi Sashimi- Giant Orange Clam)

No, it ain't from between the legs of some oversprayed tan cougar from Jersey. Whatever your thoughts about overcooked, rubbery, clammy bi-valves, you can wipe that fuzzy lap flounder idea from your tiny brain... This tasted fresh from the sea, extremely melt in your mouth goodness, like little medallions of fatty foie gras from da sea.

(Sushi & Sashimi Combo, Hokkaido Uni and Shima Aji)

This picture doesn't do it justice because the colors of the fish were so much more vibrant when it's 5 inches from your snout. Speaking of snout, if the fish smells fishy you know it ain't right but this platter didn't have one whiff of dirty canned tuna. Almost every piece melted like buttah. The hard to find Shima Aji was top quality and ultra fresh. The highly prized Hakkaido Uni straight from Japan was some of the best I have ever had and I paid the price for it, too. Totally worth it.

With all the flashy and shiny big name sushi joints in the city, Blue Ribbon Sushi gets kinda lost in all the noise... And that is perfectly fine with me and the other sushi fanatics who care more about the cuisine than the glitz and glamour of the "it" joint of the hour. Blue Ribbon Sushi has been tested and proven. You know it's good when you're still thinking about it a week later... Like a great piece of snatch.

Pump.

Pump.

Squirt.

4 Stars.

119 Sullivan Street
New York, NY 10012
212-343-0404
http://www.blueribbonrestaurants.com/

Serpas

I've been here a handful of times since they opened in 2009. While it isn't the most adventurous menu around, it is one of the most consistent around. And that's why I've always been a fan. Like his moniker, his cooking is "True Food". The space is pretty unique, nice open space and the wall of windows make it look larger than it is. I like it ah lot.

I don't know if it was the influence of resto week but the place was pretty packed the last time I stopped in. The crowd was borderline with fucking hipsters and cougar central... I didn't know if I should break dance or break a hip. Let's just break bwead, instead...

(Chicken Liver Pate)

The pate looks like a scoop of coffee ice cream but it isn't I assure you. The pate isn't mindblowing but it does the trick. Decent flavor and texture. Buttery toasties. Pickled red onions were nice.

(Crispy Duck Rolls)

Ok, these were just silly... $9 for wannabe Asian grub. They needed more flavor and time in the fryer. Cracker Pride time.

(Gumbo)

A little watery but not bad at all... Needed more thickener, filé, okra or roux. Hell, all of the above. But it was pretty tasty nonetheless.

(Pork Belly)

Look at that piglet... A perfect balance of meat and fat. A little crispy on top and caramelized nicely. He knows how to cook a proper pork belly, consistently. Pickled mustard seeds were cute but didn't do much for the dish. Nice little hidden surprise under the green skirt... A four cheese ravioli sans fromunda.

(Short Rib)

Now, that's a piece of man meat... I didn't know if should eat it or stuff it down my pants to impress the floozies in the jacuzzi. It was a tough choice but I decided to eat it and it was better than sex... With a sheep. I kid, I kid... No, really. Babababa.

(Toffee)

I'm not a dessert person but sometimes it's ok... A bite or two suits me fine. And that's what this was... A 2 biter. That's what she said. Oh, snap.

(Mousse thinger with peanut brittle)

This just looked weird... Oh, I'm stuffed, can't take another bite, you have it, hunnee bunnee. Knock yourself out.

A few items on the menu are misses but stick with the main attractions and you'll be fine. The service was purdy good, not too overbearing. The wine list changed a bit but you can still find some good ones on there that aren't a total rip off.

Good eats, True dat.

3 Stars.

659 Auburn Ave.
#501
Atlanta, GA 30312
404-688-0040
http://www.serpasrestaurant.com/default.php