Tartufo Italian Pizzeria

From the owners of La Fourchette next door comes another quasi Napoletana 'Za joint... Tartufo! OK, enough of the chit-chat. I'm sure every blogger in Atlanta has covered the background of the owners and you don't need to hear it from me either.

Let's just get down to biznaz...

Margherita - Doesn't look too bad. I like how the pie is not covered in basil like most plebeians' idea of this pie. The basil also isn't cooked either but rather placed on the pie after it comes of the oven and lightly wilted by the residual heat from the pie. Bravo for doing it right. But how does it taste? Dough is a little flat and a bit chewy. The char is acceptable but I prefer the lovely little char blisters around the crust that only a full wood burning oven can produce, instead. The sauce is also a little flat but more on the sweeter side (it needed a little more zing). The bufala mozza is not bad, decent melt capabilities. It's not gonna blow your mind but it's a pretty good everyday pie.

Tartufo - Their namesake pie with truffle oil splash on top. For $22, I expected a little more flavor than just a couple squirts of T-oil. You have to eat it while it's hot or else it loses it's flavor when it cools down. The funny part of this pie was the funghi... They were shitake and I thought I tasted Chinese black mushrooms in there, also. No shaved truffles were observed. Now, that is fucking goofy.

The last time I was this close to pie, the lights were off and my face was wet... Oh, wait, wrong blog. But take a gander anyways.... It doesn't look too bad and it tasted pretty good. Every time, I see this much baby arugula on top of a bread like structure, it reminds me of the Sardinian flatbread at Shaun's. Come to think of it, some fresh shaved Grana Padano would be real nice on top.


Calabrase - W T FUUUKK?! Are you really serious? Sending out something looking this pathetic is cause for alarm. Where is the quality control? Did you seriously think no one will notice this heavily charred, no, blacken piece of burnt up shit? (The bottom was blacker than Samuel L. Jackson.) If your boy can't tell the difference between charred and the bowels of a volcano, do not put him at the oven. Then the self-proclaimed "Pizzamaker" comes by and asks "How is everything?" while staring straight at this burnt up frisbee without even noticing why no one was eating it. He took it away only after we mentioned the flawed and inedible blackhole that was sitting untouched before our ghastly facials... He did apologize while at the same time stating that he was the pizzamaker over and over again. I never saw him near the oven nor the dough once since walking in... Not even remotely close. But he did get his boy to re-fire another one ASAP. Why does he not make the pies if he is the pizzamaker? Dom DeMarco of the highly coveted Di Fara's in Brooklyn has made every single pie for the last 4 decades, this guy here hasn't lasted 3 months at the oven. What does that say to you?


The Calabrase Redux came out relatively quick and it looked OK... Except that giant char blister that blew up in the lower corner. Made me kinda wanna stick something in it... Like in American Pie. But of course this would be the Italian pie. Scratch that, make that Tunisian pie. The spicy salami were pretty good and the only real flavor that I took away from this pie.

Overall, the ingredients (dough, sauce, cheese, toppings) are fresh and totally acceptable. The only thing I have to snark about is the combo wood/gas oven (you'll be lucky if they're actually using wood on the day you walk in. Someone even said it was electric, as well... fuck me) which doesn't do the pies any justice at temps way below 700 degrees. Is this the best Napoletana pie in Atlanta? Not by a long shot. But it will trump any chain pizza joint in the state.

PS- Valet for a pizza joint just spews pompous douchery all over the pavement... You can thank La Fourchette next door for that. Oh, well, what can you do.

Bottomline: I would go back if I was heading north bound on Piedmont.

2 Stars.

3137 Piedmont Rd.
Atlanta, GA 30305
404-806-9957
http://tartufopizza.com/

Takorea

Hankook Taqueria failed to impressed me time and time again. It was so bland, it was like eating a cardboard box on the side of the road. I don't know why people rave about it... Oh, wait, this is Atlanta. They never had Korean tacos ever in their lives so I can understand why they ate up the novelty. Only one problem, this shit was not the Korean tacos you find all over California nowadays, but whatever.

So, not long after they decided to do the food truck thing with Yumbii and now a fancypants dining location in midtown where it was once Abrigo, an awful excuse for Mexican grub (c'mon, you can't get any worse than Uncle Julio's overpriced slop or El Azteca where someone died from the food but at least they're still in business). Anyway, they didn't change the space out much from the previous short lived tenant. It looks basically the same, but let's hope the food here is half way edible at least...

Sticky Chicky: crispy, apricot glazed

Like cheekan nuggets... They're always a hit. Tasty lil morsels. It seems like there were more huge chunks of red onion than nugs. They were fine but needed a little more seasoning. Something to make them pop... Because the jalapenos had no heat to them whatsoever. How did they source bland peppers, too? Amazing.

Dumplings: fried with pork, ginger, scallions

They come six per plate but the table Jesuses snatched a couple away like it was their last supper. I don't know why for their impatience... But the filling had this pink doughy like consistency, it look like pureed SPAM. Eh.

Tempura Sweet Potatoes

Giant slices of bland Korean sweet taters with an even thicker coat of blander tempura. I didn't know if I should eat it or wear them as flip flops. They tasted like sliced Duraflame logs. Zero seasoning... Wait, I think there's sodium in the Duraflame logs. Do they have salt back there or what?

Kimchi Fried Rice

Mushy overcooked rice and no kimchi found. My guess is that old leftover rice was the building block to this dish. Bland. The dishwasher amigo in the back wouldn't even eat this.

Sesame Fries: Chipotle Ketchup

These things usually suck big time from their truck but somehow these were prolly the best thing eaten all night... Yeah, french fries.

BBQ Pork Sliders: two spicy, Korean style pulled pork sliders with cucumber kimchi, lettuce, mayo

Cheap plastic bag buns and flavorless pulled pork. Is that even possible? Baffles the taste buds. I think I had similar ones at a really bad backyard BBQ this summer.

Bibim-Bop: rice, meat, fried egg, ‘shrooms, spinach, mung beans, zucchini, topped with spicy Korean pepper sauce

It looked kinda impressive when it was placed on the table. But after 5 seconds, it looked like ketchup squirted on top or what my neighbor's dog just shat out this morning. It was ok but why was this so bland? It's beginning to seem like that's the theme here.

Takos: calamari, beef, shrimp

Take a guess which is which... Because I was hoodwinked on a couple guesses. It tasted how it looked. Really no discerning flavors to separate the three different fillers. Weird.

Takos: pork, pork belly

I know its pork but which is which? Who knows... It all goes to the same place anyways. Just eat it. These were some of the ugliest display of tacos I have ever seen. I swear, I can't tell you how they tasted because everything blended together. I have had Mexican water with more flavor.

The space feels a little depressing, maybe due to the muted colors and silence felt around the room, the staff was sufficient and attentive. I was wishing for a more funky and festive atmosphere in a Mexican't Fiesta kinda way. But thank God there was booze to be had or else this party woulda ended early. It's fine to come here with some friends to hangout and catch up with some nibbles and drinks on the side but don't come here for a true dinner experience. But at the end of the day, it's just a tad better than Hankook (no rating). Really no need to waste your time and money on a second visit. But if you must there's like 4 free parking spaces around back.

Time to hit el takobano.

1 Star.

818 Juniper Street
Atlanta, GA 30308
404-532-1944
http://mytakorea.com/

Rumi's Kitchen

Grabbed a couple chef friends (who loves this place) for a quiet Sunday dinner... Turns out to be packed. Good sign, yes? Totally. I haven't been back here in years but I'm glad I did. I like Persian food a lot but with Sufi's so close to me, this place kinda fell off my radar. This stretch of Roswell Road scares me a bit because it's full of lame duck restos that rarely passes muster with me. But Rumi's regained some confidence in me for this area.

(Freebies)

Just eat the shit, it's free... You'll like it. Yelpers do. If it's fwee, it's for mee! Wee!

(Kashk Badenjoon)

Mushed eggplant looks like poo but tastes like gold when it's done right... And Rumi's does it right. Packed full of flavor. You can eat this for dinner and be satisfied... But I wouldn't do that to myself with what is coming out next.

(Chilean Sea Bass Kabob and Rack of Lamb)

Seriously, yo... This shit was good eatin'. The lamb was cooked a perfect medium rare. Could not stop eating this shit. The sea bass I was a bit more skeptical, that is until I put it in my facehole and it melted in my mouth. This was a kabob? It was tender and flaky. The display was impressive, too.

(Saffron Basmati Rice mixed with Lentils and Raisins)

I could eat this stuff all night. So simple, yet so good. The raisins gave it that extra little something something.

(Duck Breast w/ Pomegranates and Pomegranate Stew)

This was a special of the night and my first time seeing a pomegranate stew on a Persian menu in Atlanta. Some people may think it looked like a disgruntle cook popped a squat on a plate but the duck meat flaps paired well with the "stew sauce". I was gonna compare this to some awesome and disgusting fecal sex act you do behind closed doors but I'll save that for another review. This was a nice little dish. Mix the stew with that basmati rice and it's all good in da hood.

After all these years, they're still doing it right. And that says a lot to me. Good stuff... But why is there a cardholder with Tomo's business cards up front? Baffled.

2.5 Stars.

Burp.

6152 Roswell Road
Atlanta, GA 30328
404-477-2100
http://www.rumiskitchen.com/

Alinea

Grant Achatz, one of the best chefs in Chicago... Hell, one of the best chefs in the world, opened Alinea on May 4, 2005. It has 3 Michelin stars, Chicago Magazine's Best Restaurant in Chicago's History, Ever, the Acqua Panna Best North American Restaurant and ranked 6th Best Restaurant in the World by S. Pellegrino 2011. It has basically won ever friggin' award there is. Umm, of course, I gotta eat there... So, enjoy the picture show since no words from my dirty hole can do it justice verbally.

Enjoy, suckaz!

KITCHEN

DECOR or FOOD - just don't blow your nose in it.

CHERRY - buffalo trace, carpano antica, maraschino
CUCUMBER - plymouth gin, rose, mint
LEMON - don cesar pisco, cane juice, frozen and chewy

ENGLISH PEA - iberico, sherry, honeydew

SHRIMP - fermented black bean, cinnamon aroma
YUBA - shrimp, miso, togarahi

CHAO TOM - sugar cane, shrimp, mint

TOMATOES - pillow of fresh cut grass aroma

(literally served on a pillow)

DISTILLATION - of thai flavors

PORK BELLY - curry, cucumber, lime

(notice the wrapper from the beginning)

KING CRAB pt. 1 - plum, lilac, fennel

KING CRAB pt.2 - plum, lilac, fennel

KING CRAB pt. 3 - plum, lilac, fennel

HOT POTATO - cold potato, black truffle, butter

LAMB - reflection of elysian fields farm

BLACK TRUFFLE - explosion, romaine, parmesan

TOURNEDO - a la persane

BACON - butterscotch, apple, thyme

LEMON SODA

TRANSPARENCY - of raspberry, yogurt

BUBBLE GUM - long pepper, hibiscus, creme fraiche

EARL GREY - lemon, pine nut, caramelized white chocolate

CANVAS

CHOCOLATE - coconut, menthol, hyssop

21 courses completed, 3 hours later, heavier in the pouch and a lot lighter in the pocket... And it was all worth it. There is no other experience like it. Well, I think I got a few more up my sleeve for your viewing pleasure... But I gonna take a nap, now. I gotta stop eating like this. Seriously. Who am I kidding, fuck that noise.

If you can afford it, I highly recommend it. Shit, who wouldn't? Good luck with those reservations.

Pump. Pump... Squirt. (see above pic).

5 Stars.

1723 North Halsted

Chicago, IL 60614
312-867-0110
http://www.alinea-restaurant.com/

Manhattan NY Pizza

"We invite you to come and experience the world's best pizza."

Oh, dear... Another "world class" pizza claim in this town. So, I was tipped off by a trusted source that it was good... But the online reviews and pictures looked really suspect to me, so I was in no rush for shitty 'ZA after an amazing display by Fuoco di Napoli. Since, I was in the area to take care of some business, I decided to stop by and try a couple plain slices. The order taker told me slices were a $1... What? Oh, Christ. Eh, what the hell, you never know.

It's took a few minutes to come out. They were piping hot and looked really bad in a frozen pizza kinda way. The mozzarella is the run of the mill bagged cheese. The slices were dripping, no, bathing in orange grease. It took about 5 good size napkins to absorb the funk of this slice of pie. It usually takes about 3 naps to clean up the jizz from the top of my other pies. This processed cheese melted evenly like lava flowing across a doomed town. Once it had a chance to cool down, it harden up with the consistency of Play-Doh. The pull was never ending like some magician and his infinite amount of handkerchiefs from his sleeve. The sauce... Who knows how it tasted because the cheese overpowered it. The dough was chewy and not cooked through... How? It was magma hot when it came out. I think I have had better pizza at Ryan's. Makes Cici's and Chuck n Cheez kinda craveworthy right about now.

"Our company is based on the belief that we know you can get pizza anywhere, but serving a "quality" pie is rare to find."

No kidding, you took the words right outta my mouth.

Rating: Like the picture of the pizza... There is none. But if you must, just Google it. The pic of the sausage bits placed ever-so-lovingly on each slice of pepperoni is glorious.

1560 Indian Trial Rd.
Suite 115
Norcross, GA 30093
http://manhattannypizza.com/

Fuoco di Napoli

RE-UPDATE: 4 Stars.

Went back a couple weeks after a great start out of the gate to see how they're doing. Looks like Enrico hired a new pizza maker. He still needs to hone his skill. The pies were just not as good as when Enrico makes them. We all know we eat with our eyes first. They were off shaped, not enough char, and toppings were skimpy. It just looked weaker. I don't know if it was just this night but consistency is the most important thing considering that their small menu is made up of only one thing: pizza. Don't get me wrong, this is still a very good pizza. They just need to make sure every pie that goes out is up to spec.

Wow me again like you did on our first 3 dates... And you might get lucky if you play your dough right on our 5th date.

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UPDATE: 4.5 Stars.

Made another visit couple days later... One Word: Holy Crap.

It just gets better and better. Take a gander at a few other glorious specimens...


Pizza del Re- King's Pizza. San Marzano, bufala, ham, shrooms, artichokes, black olives, basil, olive oil. How good was it? It was gone within 4 minzies. Seriously good.


Margherita- Another homerun. Great ingredients, a great oven and an experienced pizzaiolo with passion produces results like this. The best Margherita in Atlanta.


Pizza Sorpresa- Chef's surprise pie. And it sure was... Look at this thing, it was the size of a sheet pan! I must admit, this is not the normal size. He wanted to try something different. It surprised the hell outta me, alright. It consisted of everything they had in the house. The spicy salami they use is one of my favorite ingredients. I could put that on every pie here. It was unreal.

This pizzeria has made it to the top of my list within a week. This is how you do it Atlanta. Go there now and mangia mangia! Now, let's shoot for the top spot in the nation... And knock Mississippi off as the #1 obeast state in the nation. Waddle, don't walk... Unless you have a turbo charged Rascal. Vroom vroom.

Burp.

PS- You're gonna get a lot of varying opinions out there in blogger world comparing this to Antico (which I think has gone down in quality) but on the other hand they're not exactly experts either on the requirements for this type of pizza and the experience that this pizzaiolo brings. And comparing this to Varasno's is just plain bizarre, you might as well compare it to Fellini's. This is the standard where all pies should be measured by in Atlanta. In NYC (compared only to other Napoletana pizzerias) this would be in the top 10... It is just that good.

PPS- The Associazione Verace Pizza Napoletana has strict rules governing a true Napoletana pie with the D.O.C. marking, Denominazione di Origine Controllata... Pies should not be larger than 14" in diameter (12"-14" is average and there's a reason to it, anything larger and it's hello soggy center), people who complain about it being too small knows basically nothing about what they're eating. Most people think the Margherita should be covered in basil, that is wrong, the few leaves of basil was added to the center of the pie right after it came out of the oven just for color (representing the Italian flag) as a tribute to Queen Margherita's visit to Naples.

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Another Napoletana 'ZA joint has opened up to push Atlanta's pizza scene up another notch. But this place is not just some nobody vying to get some respect in a pretty competitive arena already. The pizzaiolo here is no other than Enrico Liberato of Fritti, Antico and Vingenzo fame. This guy means business when it comes to pizza. And the best part of it, it's located in Buckhead. Yes, intown, you OTP pussies. OK, enough talk, more cowbells and of course... Da 'ZA.


Every time I look at this, it looks like it's giving me the finger. No wonder I'm strangely drawn to it. Takes one to know one. Now fuck off. I'm starving.


The hardest working man in dough business... Enrico "The Liberator" Liberato. Atlantans no longer have to endure bad chain pizza anymore... He will liberate your shitty tastebuds for $5 conveyor belt pies and show you what the big dogs demand.


Awww, shit... Lookie what we got here. D to the O to the muttafukkin P. The basis of a true Napoletana pie. Enrico has worked for this tomato producer in Italy when he was younger while studying the art to the perfect pie.


A sneak peek at the heart of the entire operation. Is that glorious or what? This giant wood fired oven was handmade brick by brick by Enrico himself. The surface area can easily accommodate 10-12 pies comfortably at one time, even though he said he could fit 70 in there. Well... Like the 00 Caputo dough, that's a stretch me thinks. But it's a beautiful sight no matter how you translate his Eyetalian.


It's like the gates to heaven... Well, pizza heaven. PS- All bricks were locally sourced. Enrico says it's not the bricks that should be from Naples, it should be the man making the 'ZA. Touché, touché. When I die, I want to be cremated in here... So, I can give back a little bit of all the pies I ate here. Those pies will be amazing, the flavor will be... Full bodied.


Fuoco di Napoli- Fire of Napoli, the namesake pie. San Marzano, bufala mozzarella, spicy salami, hot peppers, basil and olive oil. Dude, look at the char blisters. You can not get any better than that. The sheen on the ingredients speak for itself and it says quality and flavor. It's a beautiful pie from a beautiful mind. It tastes even better... Like French kissing the man himself. That's what I heard... From a friend.


Stare and discuss amongst yourselves... I'm eating here.


Calzone Napoletano- San Marzano, bufala mozzarella, ricotta cheese, ham, salami, basil. This thing is giant. Like the other Napoletana spots around town, it's basically a whole pie folded in half. This dough pouch is stuff generously with all that quality ingredients and the wood fired oven does the rest. While it was good, it needed to be rotated and lifted to the top of the dome a little bit more inside the oven to give it that wood fire kissed coat and fusing the flavors of the ingredients inside. The steam inside did lift the dough but then quickly deflated right when it got to the table. This lil hiccup will not stop me nor will this be my last calzone here.


Cannoli- Made in house and just the right size. Cannoli are meant to be eaten within 2 to 3 bites. Anything larger than this is just... Americanized. I'm not a cannolo connoisseur but I inhaled it in 2 bites. Goddammit, why am I so fat?

I tried another pie called the "Sorpresa", the chef's selection pie which was ricotta, bufala, spicy salumi and San Marzano sauce... The char was perfect, giving it that crispiness to the bottom and infusing the smokiness of the wood. This was better than the Fuoco pie but only by a tad. Damn, it was good.

The menu is small as it should be for a quality Napoletana pizzeria. For being opened only for 2 days, it has bested some of the more popular pizza places that has been around for a long time... Some of these places maybe a day too long for their own good. But with a little time this place can become #1 in my book. And by the rate they're going, it's not gonna take long. On a side note, Enrico said he's only making small batches of dough on a daily basis (about 100 pies per day and a 48 hours resting/proofing period). That's quality control. There's also hints of another location in midtown and a 3rd in Kennesaw but you didn't hear that from me.

Pump pump.... Eeh, you know the rest.

Squirt.

Burp.

4 Stars.

30 Pharr Road
Atlanta, GA 30305
404-781-0707
www.fuocodinapoli.com