Iron Age

This joint has the coolest friggin military style staff uniforms. Ever.

I wanted to buy one, badly. So, I pretended to speak Korean by means of hand gestures and Asian poses. They looked at me as if I was a buffoon. Well, that may be the case but their Engrish was as good as my Monchhichinese. And the last time I checked, I was in Duluth... Oh wait, I was in Korea. Those fuckers rule with an Iron Fist and in the end, I was denied one of them badass shirts... Hmm, they must be from the North. Eh, fuck it, just fill my Iron Pouch with your finest sow and cattle and we'll call it even.

AYCE Korean BBQ for $21.99... You sure you really want to do that, pal? I fucking eat babies for breakfast... I destroyed Fogo de Chao and that was just a light snack. Imagine what I can do to you and your pork belly. Play time is over, light the friggin' grill, pull down the periscope (vent), undo my pants and keep your hands away from my mouth. Bring out the meat every 10 minutes and when one of us passes out, bring it out every 5 minutes. Leave me alone, I'm starving!

Long slabs of pork belly in assorted marinades can be had, grilled until crispy and cut up into bite sized pieces. Screw Olive Garden and your shitty unlimited soup, salad and breadsticks... No one can beat my meat up in this piece.

The Chadolbaki were thinly sliced brisket and looked kinda like fruit roll-ups but with meat instead, of course. Mmm, meat candy... Me likey. They were like meat chips and I couldn't eat just one.

All your standard sides of banchan were served as well but it's all just filler to me... I was here for one thing: Man Meat. Who doesn't love a hot beef injection? I love it morning, noon and night.

I ate them out... of house and home, gained 5 lbs, dreamt I had a heart attack, died, went to pig heaven and married Miss Piggy... Then I woke up on the toilet with a pair of chopsticks in my hands. Splash.

Oink.

Burp.

2131 Pleasant Hill Rd
Duluth, GA 30096

(678) 334-5242

Pan American Bakery

A dumpy strip mall... Fuck yeah!

An even dumpier hole in the wall... Double dog fuck yeah!

Decor that rivals Fulton County jail cells...Triple dog fuck yeah!

A Cuban sandwich that tasted so good when it hits your lips... Fuck me silly, yeah!

This sammie ain't no joke... It's fucking delicioso! And even better at $4.50 a papi. The Cuban bread made in house is fluffy and fresh but when they smack that bitch down with that press, it comes out thin and crispy with just that right amount of chewiness. Mmm, that's exactly how I like my meat and buns slapped around.

Owners are super nice and friendly and gives you a taste of the turnover filled with cheese and guava... Shit was good. Some lady ordered like 300 of them and was picking them up for her son's wedding later that day because he said they were da bomb. I concur. Shit, I already placed my order for my Bar Mitzvah next month.

This joint ain't much to look at but who's looking when you're stuffing your fat face with that insano Cubano.

Apúrate.

Burp.

3671 Clairmont Road
Atlanta, GA 30341
(770) 457-2172

New York Baden Restaurant & Bar

Fuck me, I'm in hillbilly hell. This shit has gone Full Clampett. I can't bweathe, someone open a window...

You may ask yourself, "Who the hell would drive up this far to east bumblefuck just for some KFC you ask?" The answer is me and my pouch. Lower Chattanooga is a scary place, full of jorts and douchebaggery. I can only imagine the incest rate per capita this area yields. I will do anything for a delicious fwied yardbird... But I won't do that.

Korean Fried Chicken is scarce in the South and locating a decent pair of thighs and breasts is few and far between. This "Hof" (beer drinking joint) has been on my radar for a long time but I was scared to be so far from ITP at night (they open at 5pm). I figured a Saturday early evening would be the best time to go and get the hell outta the Hof System before it got dark.

Deep Fried Rotisserie Chicken - Fuck yeah! A whole rotis bird flash fried and then chopped into pieces. What a difference it makes when you whole fried a bird vs. in pieces. Amazingly juicy and crispy thin skin. It's simply rad. It comes with your standard side of sweet radish and kimchi. The only thing missing was the cockscomb and uterus. That woulda made me jizz in my pants.


Fried Calamari - Screw Mega Shark, Giant Octopus is the shit, he tastes so much better... A massive plate of tempura style squid that were oh so crispy and tender. Shit, I just couldn't stop nawing on them testicles... I mean tentacles. Squirt.

Donkatsu - If you had a heart attack after eating that entire chicken... Stick a couple of these paddle size fried pork cutlets to your chest and stand clear. You'll be kicking in no time to feast upon these tender ass bad boys. The Panko crust is light and crispy with a few slices of nuts for texture, everybody likes nuts in their mouth. Comes with potato salad and side salad... H1 N1 not included. Redonkulus.

Regular old KFC is hard to find but not impossible but this "Baden" type of rotisserie fried chicken is mainly kept a secret. So, if you are willingly to drive up to mossback country, you deserve a delicious yardbird or two. No kids under 18 allowed in because it's bar but you can sit outside at the picnic tables like a bunch of hobos. The chicken is out of the bag. You're welcomed. Just don't over eat like I did... I have no self control when it comes to fwied chicken.

Cocka.

Doodle.

Poo.

Burp.

3585 Peachtree Industrial Blvd
Duluth, GA 30096
(770) 623-1146

Wonderful World Burgers & More

Judging by some of the Emory students noshing here... They may want to change the old saying to "The Freshman 30".

Lookie here, kiddies... Proceed with caution or else you will look like me by the middle of the first semester. The burgers are cheap and so are the beers. Cheap as in moolah. Under $3 a pop for a tasty medium sized burga. This shack ain't much to look at... Kinda like a fancy outhouse. Basically, an eat and waddle along sorta joint. The menu is simple and straight forward, not much brain power is needed here to decide on what you want. So don't over analyze what kinda beef or chicken is used here. Your pre-med degree means diddly squat here...

Wonderful Burger - This little basterd is as cute as cute can be... And it slept like a baby Joey in my pouch. And there, it will stay. Kinda nice surprise this place asked for a temp... Medium rare, of course, thank you for asking. The only minor complaint- a tad salty.

Chicken Sammie - I'm glad this wasn't fried (don't get wrong I love fried chicken). A decent size piece of meat grilled on a flat top. Nothing special, just a chicken sammie.

Teri-Mayo Hot Dog - Holy Mother of Tubesteaks. WTF is this thing? It's like Frankfurterstein with pubes on his head. Teriyaki sauce and mayo do not mix... So don't try this in the bedroom. Stick with the plain wiener, like most chicks.

Fwies - Brown bag crinkle cut variety but with a twist, Kosher salt and dill gives it that "Gourmet" taste. Hopefully, they won't discontinue this.

Onion Rings - Usually greasy as shit but these were nicely battered and fried without that heavy taste. Not saying it's healthy but totally worth ordering them here.

That's basically the whole menu except during the weekdays they have specials that are super cheap... Students et al like the word "cheap". Now, go stuff your fat face with a few of these tasty burgers.

So, you too can be udderly disgusting and full like me.

Muu Muu.

Burp.

1561 N Decatur Rd
Atlanta, GA 30307

(404) 373-8887