Pouch Snacks

And so... The pouch's second reader disappeared as quickly as he came in to my Twin Smokers post... And I am totally ok with that, how many fans does one need? Like Willy Wonka once said, "Everybody has had ONE, and ONE is enough for anybody. Now come along." I'm not depwessed or anything... I'm just gonna drown my sorrows in Popeyes like a depressed fat girl in my time of loss. Maybe that's why I'm so obeast, there's an empty hole that needs to be filled constantly and I don't think it's my heart. If scientists ever got a hold of the pouch and conducted experiments, they may find the answer to what a black hole is made of... That shit just swallows up mass quantities of matter with extreme prejudice. The black hole may not discriminate, but the pouch does...  Come along, children, let's make fun of something.

Hong Kong Harbor.

Sour Mustard with Tofu. This place is on my regular rotation and on Chinese New Year I opted to come here instead of the joints on Bufo Hwy because I didn't want to deal with the large crowds. The tofu is fine but I prefer manmeat protein with this dish. The pork is a good choice. This is off the menu, so don't tell them where you heard this from. You can blow me behind the dumpster, later.

Salt & Pepper Squid. The most ordered dish besides the General Tso's... I don't order these every time but when I do, it's usually pretty tasty. I wished they put more tentacles on this visit but that's just details.

Beef Chowfun. This dish is usually found on my table at most Chino restos I visit. It's my lemon test for the skills in the kitchen. If you can make this dish right, I will be pretty happy. Pouch was happy this night. 

Beef Belly Wonton Noodle Soup. One of the best dishes that no one orders. Super tender and the flavors are fucking sick. This ultra comfort food is more than enough for a meal but I'm fat so this was just an appetizer.


Cooks & Soldiers.

Pintxos Tradicionales. Gotta do the Jamón Ibérico. I still like this place because I saw some side boob last time... So, I got that going for me. But I know I will be crying myself to sleep later, again.


Enzo's Pizza.

I have never been in here before, just seen it driving by... So, I finally walked in after a drunken stupor. Can you say copyright infringement? Fellini's attorney should make a visit. I haven't had Fellini's in years but sometimes, you just want low rent 'ZA and this will have to do... Even if you're low rent doesn't mean you can't splurge on some accoutrements. I think this was the "Crap on a Crust" pie... It looked so slutty, it had everything on it except your mom. As for taste, well, don't eat it if you're sober. This is pure drunk late night, late morning hangover sponge grub to absorb all the funk you ingested 6 hours earlier.


Greater Good BBQ.

I tried their satellite location in Buckhead and it was baffling they called the food BBQ... But I swore to visit their main flagship location because a few bloggers said it was da shiznit. You know me, I believe every food blogger's analytical review because they're respected by the industry. First of all, they ran out of sliced brisket again just like their Buckhead location... I can believe that bullshit at their BH location because the shack is tiny but for the flagship to run out after the greasy head cook bragged about how many he goes through everyday you would think they would adjust the inventory and make more since it's such a big hit. But he did say there was a ton of chopped brisket available. Imagine that, a ton of "chopped" brisket left... That's industry term for left over bits and trimmings from the last 3 days. The ribs were dense, chewy and dry.. Where did they store this, under an AC vent? The pulled pork was forgettable. The mac was wet and very boxy tasting. I don't even recall the other side let alone eating it... I was in shock and awe. I don't think I have ever wanted to leave a place faster in my entire life... Ok, maybe that one time in a Bangkok alley. C'mon, he looked like a hot young girl. For your bowel's greater good, just keep moving.


Lee's Bakery.

Everybody and their hot step mothers know about their lunch combos. It's a great deal for a bowl of pho and halfa banh mi. The choice of pho is either the classic beef pho or the seafood pho. I had both. Imagine that... And I still wonder why I'm so fucking portly. The seafood pho is acceptable but they got real chintzy on the seafood. The beef pho should be your first choice, always. Is it the best pho in town? No, not recently in the last year or so. I just think they have dumb down due to the high volume now because the non-tribe hipsters have invaded... There were more crackers in here than at a Chipotle. These hipsters really do ruin a good thing.

Banh Mi. One thing that they still do great is the classic grilled BBQ pork banh mi. The made in house bread still kicks ass. The after 4pm deal on bread is even better (they make great lobster rolls).


Blue Ribbon Grill.

Fried Green Beans. There is just something really special about a joint opened almost exclusively for older folk... No, I'm not talking about Johnny's Hideaway, Clermont Lounge maybe but they don't serve food. Well, unless you consider being invited to Thanksgiving Dinner at the Clermont Lounge as food service... It was the most memorable Turkey Neck Day I have ever had. It was glorious... Especially, when they have their clothes on while I'm eating their stuffing. But anyways, the fried green beans were nothing special, not bad just pedestrian. I'm just thinking that the old folks in here are just happy to be able to eat anything fried.

Burger and House Chips. I was ready to make fun of this so bad but I was blind sided by this well constructed burger. They even split this burger on two plates if you're with a hot chippy. The thick patty was cooked spot on mid rare, look at that color, nice. The burger could use more seasoning but really nothing to complain about. I wished they buttered and toasted the bun but you have to consider your environment. You never ask for too much in a place like this. You take what you're given and damn straight I'll take it. This was a respectable burger. The chips were ultra crispy and seasoned well.

Jumbo Wings. This time no lemon pepper, I learned my lesson... So, I got lemon-yaki on half instead. As you can see, I learned my lesson real well. I am not a smart man. What was the pouch thinking? No wonder I cry myself to sleep so much, it's these poor life choices that I make on a daily basis. Lemon-yaki, as you can imagine was ultra sweet with that artifical lemon after taste to it. The naked sauce on the side hot wings were crispy, tender and juicy as fuck inside. These are not jumbo more like medium which I'm totally ok with. The hot sauce still sucks ass, though. I still love this dump, the $7.25 classic cocktail list from the 70's still rocks out with your cock out... Only if you sit at the bar on the other side, no one wants to see my pink Vienna sausage.

As you can see from this list, I enjoy a very healthy lifestyle... This collection of this slop only leads to one place and y'all know where that is. Just make sure there's enough matches, TP and wet naps in there. Flush.