Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Twin Smokers BBQ

Does anyone (meaning my one fan) find it strange that almost every review on this place is from a complimentary media event... I'm sure all those 5 stars were earned based on the quality of the grub and not the gratis entrance fee. These "real" reviews proclaim the most amazing and best BBQ they have ever had. Shit, if it's that good, the pouch must make a visit... Maybe in about a month to see what the fuss was about after all the oohs and aahs have died down and the freebies dry up, hopefully, not the BBQ, though. It's baffling to think anyone is dumb enough to believe any of these reviews to be 100% truthful based on free PR swag (shit without a gun) even if they disclose it on their blog. The pouch on the other hand does not give a hamster's pebble shit about these show and tell events where the gullible wannabe gourmand thinks they are VIP but none the wiser are used for free PR on the interwebs to push the biz. I love reading all the bullshit because it gives my purple obeast ass something to write about while my Ferrari red Rascal is being charged.

So, the Legacy group is taking over this entire pedestrian block of tourism in true Atlanta mafioso style with Der Biergarten, Max’s Coal Oven Pizzeria, STATS and now... Twin Smokers BBQ. We all know how middling the other three are, no need to reopen those depressing repressed memories. This new BBQ joint on a recent friday had the same excitement as the sushi dump here last... It didn't give me a rise. The staff's initial attitude felt like they were doing you a favor for walking into a dead place. The que joint didn't smell like smoke but it did have a plethora of chopped wood for decor against the wall. The lack of the beautiful smokey aroma that one would expect is due to the high tech Oyler Pit smokers where the smoke evacuation system purges the authenticity right out of the kitchen... I hope my evacuation system doesn't purge prematurely after eating these highly prized meats. Let's take a looksie..

They say they have a great bourbon/whiskey selection... I say I have more bottles in my personal collection. How is that possible? Oh, I know... because it has something to do with me being an alchie. So, I bypassed the standard issue snoozer selection of the brown juice (there were a couple decent ones like Whistle Pig and Koval) and got me a Hopsecutioner while I waited for a lil chicharrĂ³n snackery... I guess it was self serve on the pig skin since it was just sitting on the trays at the end of the bar. Classy.

3 Meat Combo. Brisket, pulled pork, beef sausage, mac n cheez, burnt ends chili. Brisket had a nice bark, no smoke ring and the meat itself peeled apart in layers like it was steamed from too much moisture in the high tech smoker hence no smoke ring. The meat didn't have much flavor and the bark was lightly smokey. Best brisket in the world like some said? Yeah, on what planet, Pluto? I hate to chop up brisket but this woulda been better off chopped up and mixed in with some burnt ends and sauced all over. The pulled pork was ok but with these smokers and the smoke evacuation system, it just does not do the meats justice. Maybe they are not setting it correctly, who knows. The beef sausage was absolutely horrid, grainy, crumbly and totally dry inside. It was literally like eating cat litter in a dried up crusty used rubber. They're lucky this was not in NYC or else you might find one of these tied to a hand rail on a subway. The mac had a gluey taste to it, Elmer's perhaps. The burnt ends chili was quite a specimen, something you find in a lab to see where it originated from because I could not to begin to guess where they got the recipe for this gruel, possibly from a mudslide. It was like steak sauce with bits of meat like substance swimming around in it. I inquired about a Brunswick stew and they said they have never heard of it. Everything was made at the bar via an assembly line style set up with steam trays, nothing says authentic BBQ like a Golden Corral style buffet. Wait, I take that back, GC has some decent stuff at the buffet. I just don't get it, maybe it's just me and the need to see brisket sliced to order. The sauces were all too sweet, cloying and tasted all the same after awhile. The cute gimmick here is the dinosaur beef rib, a massive over the top piece of rib... I saw it close up and it looked dry as hell. It's all you, bro.

Banana Pudding. I don't know why I'm a sucker for this jizzlobbery at BBQ joints but I have been comparing all others to Community Q's version which is really tasty. This specimen was acceptable but won't be seen on my check again because I probably won't be back anytime soon.

J&R is not just the greatest music store in the world, they also make smokers. These high tech smokers are basically like Ron Popeil's Showtime Rotisserie... Where you "set it and forget it". They are not bad smokers just not what real BBQ enthusiast uses, it's for commercial high volume applications. I think this one was playing "Maneater" from the built in stereo system on the back.

At least that's real ash in that pan... But from where is the question, either the smoker or the dishwasher taking a smoke break.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out that this joint will probably do well in this tourist central area which is walking distance to all the attractions. I talked to a couple self proclaimed "BBQ connoisseurs" next to me that were in town from Boston (known for their incredible BBQ of course) and they were wetting themselves over the brisket until they saw the leftovers on my tray. They still got it anyways. Tourists.

300 Marietta St. NW
Atlanta, GA 30313 
404-698-4707
http://twinsmokersbbq.com/

11 comments:

Unknown said...

Blasphemy! You have more than one fan

Pinky said...

fyi....you can charge your Rascal at Walgreens.

G.G. said...

FCL, I'm not a regular reader, but saw the link to this today at Eater Atlanta. Since you made the foulmouthed potshot at me and at some of my other hobbyist friends who have written about Twin Smokers... no, I actually believe that our readers, and those of any other blog in town, are not dumb at all, but intelligent enough to make determinations based on the writer's history and knowledge of the subject. That my own meal was comped only colored my first visit. I've had the brisket at Twin Smokers twice since my first lunch, and honestly believe that the only brisket in any Atlanta restaurant of Twin Smokers' quality is at Fox Brothers, which also uses a J & R. I've also sampled the brisket at Midwood Smokehouse in Charlotte, which is also amazing, and also comes from a J & R, and seems to be highly praised by the bloggers in North Carolina who write about barbecue.

As for the implications in your story, the simple fact is that if I, or any other writer, don't wish to say anything negative, it's not because we're shooting for less than "100% truthful," perhaps to appease some marketing company, but rather because most writers in town don't enjoy writing negative stories and have better things to do with our time than compare a kitchen's hard work to used condoms. I don't know what your own motives for writing negative stories are, but if I genuinely don't enjoy a meal, whether somebody invited me to try it or not, I'd rather not waste time building a story around it. I can get content from anywhere; if I don't like a meal, I tell the PR company I'm not going to write about it, and get on with my life.

Nevertheless, I do take the fact that we bloggers have an audience as very serious, especially since the influence we have might impact people's jobs. While I don't wish to act like an ombudsman and pretend to tell you how to write your blog, I would gently suggest that as your vulgar and crude putdowns in stories like this one could genuinely hurt a new business and its staff, you might want to employ them a little more carefully.

Put another way, you can attempt to make the "ethics" argument about critics seeing movies for free or getting an advance copy of a book to review or eating at a restaurant without charge, and maybe that's fair and maybe it isn't, but the downright gross things that you've said about Twin Smokers in this story are entirely unfair. You were not served *anything* that deserved the level of nastiness in this story, and I'd tell you that even if I did not enjoy that first, free, meal at the place.

I'd be happy to discuss this with you at greater length here, or in email, or in person sometime.

--Grant

Unknown said...

If we wanted your unbiased opinion Grant, perhaps you should have eaten at Twin Smokers, and not be comped for your meal. As a GM of a restaurant who also "paid" for good reviews, I can tell you first hand that the public will never take your establishment or reviewer seriously. While this blog may be crude in nature, it is brutally honest. Adults can figure out what is truth and what is embellished. I do appreciate that this blog spends their own money and are not influenced by restaurant groups or owners.
TL:DR Shut up and keep eating your free grab sellout.

Unknown said...

If we wanted your unbiased opinion Grant, perhaps you should have eaten at Twin Smokers, and not be comped for your meal. As a GM of a restaurant who also "paid" for good reviews, I can tell you first hand that the public will never take your establishment or reviewer seriously. While this blog may be crude in nature, it is brutally honest. Adults can figure out what is truth and what is embellished. I do appreciate that this blog spends their own money and are not influenced by restaurant groups or owners.
TL:DR Shut up and keep eating your free grab sellout.

Gastronome said...

It looks like I have two readers now, yippy hooray! ...btw- you obviously didn't eat the banana hammock sausage. Smokers can only do so much, just because you can afford to buy a Ferrari doesn't mean you know how to drive one. For anyone to get so pissy about one retarded opinion is already a suspect... No one is losing their job or sleep over any stupid ass blog unless they have an agenda. They know who they are. Believe me, I have worse reviews for other dumps and they are still in business... ie: McDonalds, Max's, STATs and Biergarten. FYI- I am qualified with a professional cooking background to talk about food and techniques and we cooks never took critics for or against us seriously... Somehow it's only people who have never been in the industry that does. But I do appreciate the feedback, stay tune for more tasty and shitty food reviews! XOXO
...Still can't believe I have more than one reader now, thanks Atlanta!

aaron said...

LONG TIME READER/LURKER HERE KEEP THE VULGARLY DELICIOUS POSTS COMING

YOU WOULD GET MORE COMMENTS IF YOU ALLOW ANONYMOUS POSTING

aaron said...

YUEZ FAMOUS

Gastronome said...

I haven't had this much action since I was at the ASPCA five months ago... Furry puppies on your lap and wet noses up your crotch is an experience to be cherished, especially when you have Richard Simmons short shorts on. Pup pup squirt.. Craving a smoked sausage all of the sudden... Hmmm

Unknown said...

heee, heee, haw haw...kit and grant getting into a pissing match. kit wins simply on the fact that he is a chef and one of the most learned food bloggers in the state. grant? well, like your posts and the fact that you make your living writing...but really, don't mess with the pros...

BBQ Smoker said...

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